What's the difference?

[susancheerleader]

So I was BUSTED hard buy a former friend. No one knows I like to dress, especially him. He is one of those very rough and tough kind of guys.
Anyway, I was home and he came over unexpectedly and let himself in as most people do.
But this time I was all dressed up!

It surely took him by surprise. The look on his face was more like one of horror.
He yelled out. "Holy s***! What are you a transvestite?"
I replied "No, I am a cross-dresser."
He answered that with "Transvestite... cross-dresser. What's the difference? Only fagots dress like woman."
Well it went down hill fast from there. It got ugly, and hence the "former friend."
One thing I am NOT, is gay by any means.

But he did get me wondering about that.

What is the difference from a transvestite and a cross-dresser?

[Emily Anderson]

Sorry to hear you got busted. That sucks royally!

There is no difference between a TV and a CD, and there's no point in declaring your not gay. It doesn't really matter either way.

The important thing is how you're going to deal with the situation.

[Roberta Llyan]

What is the difference from a transvestite and a cross-dresser?

The ONLY difference I know is how you spell the two words. Otherwise, they are the same.

[Deanna2]

Big OOPs on being sprung, but the guy doesn't seem to have been very friendly. So maybe you're better off with him as a former friend anyway.

As to the terms they both infer negative sentiments. Perhaps CD is a softer term. But, hey, don't get me started on labels.

[Nicole Erin]

Explain to him that you could kick his ass even in your best Sunday dress.
That will make the situation much better.

No but for real, he will get over it.
He will also probably never just walk in to someone's home without knocking first.

Oh yeah about TV vs CD -
From what I understand, a TV is a straight guy who concentrates mostly on the smallest aspects of CD'ing like wearing undergarments but has no intention of presenting as woman, a purely sexual thing.
CD's tend to want to present as women as much as we can.

So I guess it comes down to different levels. Who knows, this is just what I have always understood it to be...

[susancheerleader]

Thanks for clearing that up. I thought there was. I thought a transvestite was someone who feels they are a women in a mans body, and a cross-dresser was someone who just enjoys wearing womans clothing.
So he was right with that.
But not his last part. We are not all "gay" as he put it. (I am not using the "f" word again.)

[docrobbysherry]

Susan, this is why so many of us stay in the closet. Close minded friends and family!
I'm sorry! That must leave u feeling very worried! Will he tell everyone?

[sandra-leigh]

Transvestite is the term from the medical establishment, and is defined by the american diagnostic manual (can't remember the right name at the moment) as having a 'fetish' involving wearing the clothes of the other gender; 'fetish' being used there in a medical sense meaning something that is necessary or virtually necessary for you in order to function sexually. But the diagnostic manual has very low standards for "diagnosing" transvestitism: if you Dress Up more than 3 times in your life, even if they have nothing to do with sexual situations, then you are so labeled.

Because the diagnostic manual is a disorder about fetishism, those for whom dressing is not a fetish (in the technical sense above) decided to create a more public-relations friendly term, and came up with "crossdresser". Crossdresser does not inherently imply fetishism. Sure lots of guys get a sexual thrill out of crossdressing, especially when they are relatively new to it, but if your dressing extends beyond sexualism, then most people around here would use the term crossdresser instead.

[susancheerleader]

Susan, this is why so many of us stay in the closet. Close minded friends and family!
I'm sorry! That must leave u feeling very worried! Will he tell everyone?

I doubt he would say anything. That would put him in the spot of explaining how or why he was a (former) friend to a cross-dresser for 30+ years. He likes his "macho" image.

[Sinthia]

According to Websters . . . A crossdresser wears clothes meant for the opposite sex. A transvestite is a person who derives sexual pleasure from dressing in clothes of the opposite sex. But I am so happy when wearing dresses and skirts, don't call me a crossdresser, call me a happy dresser!

[Vivian Best]

What is the difference from a transvestite and a cross-dresser?

Hi Susan,

I think one can make the case there is no difference in the definition of the two words.

It is my understanding that transvestite is a french word or a derivative of a french word. Breaking the word down into two parts you get "trans" meaning cross as in "trans Atlantic crossing" and vestite meaning something close to "clothing". I think you can correctly guess what crossdressing means. So you can see how similar in definitions the two are.

Hope this helps.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

The definitions of transvestite requiring fetishism are sorely outdated.

We of the transgender community must make it our duty to define the major umbrella terms that describe us as innocuously as possible.

As far as we are concerned, transvestite = crossdresser, meaning someone who intentionally wears clothing designed for the opposite sex. The reason or motive is unimportant.

[occdresser]

Big OOPs on being sprung, but the guy doesn't seem to have been very friendly. So maybe you're better off with him as a former friend anyway.

As to the terms they both infer negative sentiments. Perhaps CD is a softer term. But, hey, don't get me started on labels.

[Rachaelb64]

May he was just upset you looked better in dress than he did

Labels are those who like an ordered society so let chaos reign

[trannie T]

If you examine the words, 'trans' and 'cross' mean basically the same thing as do 'dress' and 'vest.' There is no real difference in meaning, it is only a matter of personal preference.

[Alex!]

Caution - don't speak for all of us. I find the word transvestite offensive. I consider myself a crossdresser.

The words mean different things to different people, so to say they are the same is not accurate. "Transvestite" is an outdated word that sounds like a disease to me. Crossdresser more accurately describes what I do without the "added baggage."

I don't have issues with labels per se, but I do prefer to be the one labeling myself.

As a policy wonk and someone who deals in foreign affairs, I can assure you that words mean a great deal - parsing them up into pieces to trace origins is one thing, but words also have significant cultural meanings not always understood by everyone.

[DonnaT]

Transvestite is derived from Latin and means cross dress. (from Latin trans-, "across, over" and vestere, "to dress or to wear") and coined in 1910 in Magnus Hirschfeld's book "Die Transvestiten : eine Untersuchung über den erotischen Verkleidungstrieb" ("The transvestites : an investigation of the erotic urge to disguise").

Finding the term to be offensive is just playing into the hands of the uneducated. And it means you are allowing non-trans individuals to not only label us, but also to define us.

Transvestite is the term used mostly in the UK, and none of the TVs consider it to be offensive. Crossdresser was coined by Virginia Prince (Tri-Ess founder) in the 1970's due to the negative conotation the trans community permitted others to associate with the term transvestite.

Transvestites are not in the DSM (only fetishistic transvestites are, and I’ve yet to meet anyone who fits that description). As . . . one of our MHB board faithful clarified, “…the word “transvestite” was coined by Magnus Hirschfeld circa 1910, was used as a broad, entirely non-judgmental term that would encompass what today would really be considered the entire tg spectrum, and was *not* invented by the psychiatric profession to pathologize or perversify people.”

http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=240

[Stormgirl]

Where does this asshole live? I will bring along a few Marines and we'll see who's "tough." Glad you aren't his friend anymore, you don't need ignorant jerks like that in your life. Let him live in the dark.

[Jamie001]

We don't need friends like that!! That is not a real friend. You will findout quickly who your real friends are and it is a good thing.

Susan, this is why so many of us stay in the closet. Close minded friends and family!
I'm sorry! That must leave u feeling very worried! Will he tell everyone?

[Wenda]

sorry to hear about your 'former friend', Susan. As most of the previous posts have stated, 'transvestite' and 'crossdresser' basically mean the same thing. In my world, however, a transvestite, a 'Trannie', implies someone who is out and about when dressed, and deliberately tries to pass as feminine. A 'crossdresser' is someone who is not professional, and dresses because they feel like itl In other words, a transvestite is a professional crossdresser. No science, that's just how I interpret the two words.
Even less provocative than crossdresser, is 'female impersonator', a term which I have used, but which also implies that I dress on stage, which I have done. w.

[MarciManseau]

Thanks for clearing that up. I thought there was. I thought a transvestite was someone who feels they are a women in a mans body, and a cross-dresser was someone who just enjoys wearing womans clothing.
So he was right with that.
But not his last part. We are not all "gay" as he put it. (I am not using the "f" word again.)

I don't think so - a transvestite is not someone who feels they are a woman in a man's body, that's a transsexual - and I know because I'm one of them.

As far as I can tell, CD and TV are the same - TV is just more clinical sounding, so most prefer CD because it's more accepted.

[DemiRose]

Let him go to hell!

I belive that "transgender person" is the solution. Shortly TG, but really "burn motherf...., burn".

And it is really your business whta are you doing in your bedroom!

In ancient Athens anyone who used to wear womens clothes, was considered a woman!

Cheers

[Emily Anderson]

From my limited understanding, transvestite was the original word, and was most often associated with drag-queen performance artists and male prostitutes. When CD's became more well-known in society, they started to use the term crossdresser to avoid being negatively associated with comedy routines and sex.

Of course, we may enjoy comedy routines and sex, but we probably don't want everyone to think that's what it's all about :-)

[Natalia]

A TV is that box with the pictures and sound in your living room.

A CD is the shiney round plastic thing that you play in your stereo.

I'm a guy in a dress.

[Annaliese]

Sorry, he is just a BH (bone head) how is that for a lable.

Hugs Anna