...as far as crossdressing? While I realize many of us just go with the flow and the feelings and wear the clothes to look nice and feel good, going out, passing, shopping, associating with like minded folks, etc., there is way more to it than just being a fashion plate. For whatever reason we do it, there is some kind of motivation involved even if we are not aware of it. If we really think about it, we can understand that motivation.
You may say:"Who cares"? , this is me and I don't need a reason and I just do it because I like it and it is a part of me. Fair enough but that kind of reasoning was never good enough for me even though I had blinders on in the beginning when I was discovering these feelings in myself and sometimes it just takes awhile to understand just why we do something.
I got to the point myself where dressing was second nature to me and it took very little effort to get ready as Sal and I established myself, made a lot of friends and was accepted for who I was. Still, there was something missing as I realized that the appearance and look for all intents and purposes was really quite shallow and only skin deep and there was more to me than that, much more and it was all about the feelings really and about who I really was inside.
The process of crossdressing can seem quite urgent at times with it's own agenda which can be somewhat confused by all of the gender aspects. I literally took that away and started just being myself in either mode and the results were quite surprising and I am now accepted either way. Although it was unclear in the beginning, my goal became understanding myself and my feelings, simple really. Funny how that works sometimes.