Becoming a better person

[Kate Simmons]

Can CDing make you a better person? Like anything else, it becomes a matter of perspective. I used to think it was a curse and an annoyance that got in the way of my life and my family but seemed to be a necessary "evil" for me to keep going, so I tolerated it over the years, going through purges, dressing in secret, etc. None of this, however, really worked and I always ended up being frustrated in one way or another.

It wasn't until I finally accepted it in myself that things began to change for the better, although that may have to be somewhat qulaified because I paid a hefty price by losing my family to get where I am today. If I hadn't pursued things though, I'd still be spinning my wheels and would never have resolved it. What I had to do was more or less live it as much as possible to find out just why it was so important to do this and find out what my real options were.

Initially, there was the giddiness and being on cloud nine and being tickled pink for being able to really fully express my femme self. I was able to go out and socialize and have a good time regardless of others knowing who I was and being accepted by them for who I was was great as I never put up any pretenses really. What I soon found out however was that the femme stuff was just the tip of the iceberg and my real strong suit was getting to know and caring about people and accepting them for who they are as well.

I will say that when I was out there as Sal, I felt a confidence that I never felt as Rich because as a guy, I was always pretty much of a withdrawn introvert. Now that I have balanced things, that has bled over into my life as Rich, so I am always the same outgoing and fun loving person that I am as Sal. I would have missed all of this had I remained a "stick in the mud" as Rich and never explored who I really was. All in all, the whole experience has helped me to realize my full potential as a person. I took something potentially negative and turned it around into something positive. I'm wondering if anyone elso has had a similar experience.

[DAVIDA]

Hi Sal!
Yes, crossdressing can make you a better person! If it does nothing else, it makes you less judgmental of others just based on appearance.

[Adrianamireasa79]

I sure hope sow because am loving it.
My girlfriend should be happy, beacouse i like to clean and cook when am all dress up. And believe me, i make a killer lasagna. Adrian style

[TGMarla]

Crossdressing has made me more aware that there is a masculine side and a feminine side to all of us. I have been more able to see things from a feminine point of view,so I've become more empathetic towards women as a result. Embracing both sides makes one more of a well rounded person, I think.

I think that's a good thing.

[Deborah Jane]

I agree Sal, since accepting myself for who i am i,m more willing to try and find the best in other people too..
[Exept politicians, they,re not worth the the effort]
Maybe by accepting ourselves, we also gain tolerance of other people and their differances.

[deja true]

Davida's got part of it for me. I'm a lot less judgemental based on appearance. I've become much closer to a number of people I originally would have classified as acquaintances. Now they're friends. I'm looking more at their conversations and spirits, than their weight issues or turkey necks or bad dress sense. I'm looking more at people than at just what they present.

But I'm also less judgemental all around. Being exposed for the first time (on this site in particular)to a vast range of lifesyles and social issues has allowed me to empathise and sympathise with a wider range of people and brought my own prejudices to the fore in my mind. Amazing how much acculturated crap we can slough off if we just open our eyes and ears and hearts!

I cry a lot at some of the stories I see presented here. But it's a good cry. It's cathartic. It's me getting rid of the up tight opinions and attitudes that, I now see made me a small and selfish person. I'm bigger and better than ever. And virtually everybody here, whether they know it or not, has had a hand in that.

I'm still holed up physically in my own tiny community, but when I get out and start to meet some of the people I've met here, it's gonna be huge hugs and big kisses all around.

And it's not just the 'femme persona' thing. I'm a much better man, too.

[MJ]

yes i feel it does make us a better person because we grow to understand the struggles we all face at some point in life ..

at one point in my life i was so jealous and envious of all the amazing t-girls out there .. i so wanted to be like you lot
now the heel is on the other foot so to speak jealousy and envy as change to compassion ..
OK so i still envy the thin chicks
funny thing is i get it now ...

[Amanda0208]

I sure everything has been said already. I definitely feel that my crossdressing has made me more tolerant in my daily attitudes. I look at women much differently than i used to and have learned to appreciate some of the finer nuances of their daily lives. My wife who is the most remarkably loving and giving person in the world, sometimes comes home aggressive and short from dealing with people who are always trying to take an upperhand instead of working cooperatively to accomplish a goal. My approach has evolved into listening and trying to find purposefull solutions to what needs to be done and being Amanda has helped that immensely.