Is There Any Release From The Curse

[Amy Hepker]

Curse??? It is THE FORCE!!!

[jennifer41356]

Of being transgendered!

curse?, I find it a blessing

[Tina Francia]

I think the desire and urge to CD is a blessing in itself and I would not want to change it for anything. The curse of CD'ing is having to deal with those that do not want, or refuse to understand that we as cross-dressers are what society really needs; we are caring, thoughtful, tolerant, and understaning people. We can not only identify with our male gender, we also identify and understand the female gender as well. So yes we deal with a blessing and a curse, it can be hard at times too. I look at it in the perspective that the blessing gives me the streangth, courage, and wisdom to deal with those who curse us.

[crusadergirl]

I think of it as a curse as well but its one of the better ones i have. Is there a way to release the curse? Have someone throw 5 bananas at you when your walking down the street but they have to be where you can't see them.
It worked for me.

[TSchapes]

I have issues that I haven't dealt with yet, and I don't really have anyone to help me deal with them. Many in this forum have embrased the crossdressing experiance, but many especially the sillent ones have not. I know only one thing and that is that there is not any easy answers. This is a journey that many of us have to do alone. We can cry into the night or on to this forum, and maybe we can find a small bit of comfort.

In talking to crossdressers over the years I have found we have all made pacts with the devil, or compromises if you will. Some have banished themselves to some remote place just to run away from it, only to see it still there. Some thought that marriage would "cure" them, others the military, religion or fill in the blank . But it is still there inside us, and to me god has given us a challenge. To make peace with ourselves and live fulfilling lives or fight it and live in purgatory.

My father told me life was not easy. And to me if I take the easy way out, I've forfeited my life and my own happiness.

Love, Tracy

[KarenCDFL]

I do understand the question.

For a lot of years I had this "noise" in my head that just would not stop. I always thought it had to do with the conflict of boy vs girl and honestly after years of therapy even though I have a male body, I am female. No doubt about it. And having been able to integrate the personalities the noise is gone and am very clear now.

Was it a curse? No. But it wasted so much of my life.

[KeriB]

Of being transgendered!

Yes... accept it for what it is.. not a curse but a beautiful thing that defines what it is that makes you who you are.....

[WomanAtHeart4]

Dana,
Thanks for the post and sharing your thoughts and feelings.
First, may I validate your feelings? Feelings are real. Maybe unintentional, but sometimes many invalidate or dismiss what another’s may feel.

I too have asked myself the same question(s) many times before: ‘is there any release from the curse’? I know I had many emotions from cding: hurt, confusion, pain, frustration, lack of understanding, failure, lack of will power, embarrassment, fear, ecstasy, pleasure, thrill, peace, wonderment, etc. I have tried to find a release “from the curse”; actually I have recently ended a 2 year purge with all intentions of trying riding the “curse” once and for all. Did I win? No. I am not free from the “curse” but in the processes of ending the purge, I am learning how to free myself from the guilt and the feelings I placed on myself because of this ‘cd gene’. I use the term “cd gene’ to rid my self of the cd guilt and to wonderfully release me from the expectation that I can rid myself of this ‘gene” (which I received at birth – I cannot change my genes). Do I hear you say, “Stephanie that is crazy, a “cd gene” at birth”? That is the best way I can explain it. It beats thinking ‘if I try real hard, pray 10 times a day, try whipping myself, conduct a super purge, pull myself up by my bootstraps - I can rid “the curse”. I have tried and could not rid it and made myself miserable. So now – I accept my cding. I accept it within its place in my life – which requires balance. (I recommend reading “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and “My husband Betty” by Helen Boyd. Helen Boyd books and interviews showed me how to accept. I thought – if a wife of a cder (Helen) can accept the cding part of her husband (Betty), can I not accept my own cding in myself? She shows amazing love) Does it mean the world has changed for me and my cding? Do I now go efem 24/7? No, not at all. What has changed is my acceptance of myself for who I am – a cder. Instead of feeling guilty – I now enjoy my cd moments to its fullest even with its limitations instead of feeling resentful, guilty or confused. And I now understand the value “Stephanie” has in my life and me being a “Woman at Heart”. It’s powerful.
Love,
Stephanie

[idashine]

Time, "They" say heals all wounds. Well, I have spent a lot of my time dealing with this situation and can tell you it does not go away. Maybe when our allotted time is up and we get to try again the Big guy will get it right.

[Beth-Lock]

I think we are all cursed by being on this earth, as opposed to in the heavenly Garden of Eden. I guess we will just have to deal with it. Maybe in heaven, you can be whatever gender or sex you want, and fully so, if that matters there.
In other words, there are likely deep philosophical reasons for things, but here, we have to come to some practical accommodation with things like being trans.

[Carly D.]

Listen closely.. to be released from the dreaded CROSSDRESSING CURSE : 1) Garlic, works on vampires, has to work on crossdressers.. 2) a steak to the heart.. well actually a steak to the heart is good against vampires, a steak to the foot of a crossdresser will work equally because we're not trying to kill the crossdresser, just stop the dreaded curse... 3) cutting off the feet.. toes might work as well, but the feet.. and do a mangled job of it, pantyhose may not fit right if the legs are of unequal length...

[JSpikeheels]

No, it just gets worse, and stronger as you get older, best just to learn an accept it as being a part of who you are.

yes I totally agree...I discovered my legs, so to speak, two years ago when I tried on a skirt and thigh highs that had been my wife's along with five inch heels that were my indulgence to a lifelong quietly and managed fetish..

...now I have developed a growing new persona of-while not dressing completely en femme- I have found the courage and exhilaration to wear stiletto heel boots every time I step out of the house with my usual male attire...

..I was born in 1945 and you are right; there is something about reaching an age where the opinions of others become less important that our own...I also agree that the desires have become stronger and I struggle to try to limit them to just wearing boots with jeans..

Eileen/Jim

[AKAMichelle]

One of the things that everyone who has accepted their crossdressing misses in this question is the time and energy it took to accept themselves.

I believe in some ways that crossdressing is a curse. We struggle all of our lives because society tells us it is wrong to be this way. We beat up on ourselves for being evil or an abomination to mankind. As a result we do stupid things to satisfy the urges while remaining totally hidden. Then heaven help us should we get caught in a dress. That's just the simple issues.

Then we come to the fact that as we age the urge increases which is why self-acceptance is so important. You have to find a way to balance it in your life. At the same time keep it hidden from your employer or clients because so many wouldn't understand and possibly fire you. Therefore, loss of employment is one of the risks. Then you have to tell your SO if you haven't told her before. That can result like it did for me with divorce or in some cases totally accepting SO's. The accepting SO seems like a myth to me.

So in many respects crossdressing takes lots of energy which could be spent elsewhere. With so many risks and down sides it does appear that crossdressing is a curse. The really bad news is that there doesn't appear to be a cure. No antibiotic or pill to cure this one. Only self-acceptance because society will never fully accept us. They may treat us with respect and overlook our odd behavior, but at home they are laughing at us. That's very hard to deal with.

I do wish that there was a cure. The stress of getting caught equals the stress relief I get from crossdressing. They seem to cancel each other out. I think that until you reach that point of total self-acceptance crossdressing is a curse. A curse which can ease into a gift which I sadly still don't understand fully. I am just now beginning my journey.

I wish you luck in your journey and self-acceptance

Michelle

[Jae]

I believe in some ways that crossdressing is a curse. We struggle all of our lives because society tells us it is wrong to be this way.

heaven help us should we get caught in a dress

keep it hidden from your employer or clients because so many wouldn't understand and possibly fire you. Then you have to tell your SO if you haven't told her before.

Michelle

As one who for 50 years has been so afraid of being found out that I have never cross dressed only dreamed of doing so, I can only agree that I wish I never had these feelings.

[Patti Girl]

First I'm apolgize if I offended anyone, I was in one of my "funks", dealing with depression about my life situation, and doing some serious damage to a fifth of Black Velvet. In short? I was about half drunk when I posted the original post!

I apolgize if I've offended anyone.

But there's just no denying it! I'm transgendered! And that doesn't have anything to do with your sexualithy ~ who you prefer as a sexual partner ~ that's totallyt sepearate.

In short? I was feeling sorry for myself ~ half drunk! OK! 2/3'd tanked!

Dana,

Don't feel bad about the post! You've brought out some great responses from some of the more experienced members, responses that are helpful to others of us.

I have mixed feelings myself, wishing life was more simple, not having to worry about when I can wear what. Yesterday, I felt absolutely great being dressed. Today, I had to limit myself since we have a repairman who is supposed to come sometime this week. (I may just lock the gate and forget about him, LOL).

I'm sure most of us have our ups and downs. But we are learning to live and love it!

And I'm one of the lucky ones, my wife not only accepts my dressing, she likes me femme

Patti

[Brooke Smith]

I had this disscussion with a friend once and the only cure is complete acceptence of yourself.You may not have asked for it,but it's there and it won't go away.It's part of who you are.Play the hand you're dealt,embrace it,think of it as a gift and enjoy your life to the fullest.Our time here is short....Peace

[Bernadina]

Of being transgendered!

Curse???

Why is it a curse??

I think its a wonderful gift.

[Karren H]

What curse?

[TxKimberly]

Sure there is! The moment you decide it's NOT a curse life is SO much better

[Kimmie]

because this is socially unacceptable. One can draw parallels to the 5 stages of loss.

1) denial- I'm a man, I do manly things, I like girls, play contact sports, get my hands dirty, make sexist comments, like to see things get blown up, vote republican. take your pick.

2) - anger- see above: with more aggression- along with loosing ones temper as an expression of testosterone.

3) bargaining- If I can go 6 months without dressing I can go another 3 months if I can go 9 months I can go another 6 moths, and so on. purging can be a subsection here.

4) depression- This isnt working, goddamit I feel guilt for dressing up and I hate myself for what I am.

5) acceptance- Some innitial fear, then followed by the moment you decide it's NOT a curse, life is SO much better.


Granted I'm not a licensed therapist. Just observations, this is not entirely based on personal experience. BTW

[crusadergirl]

Being a crossdresser isn't really a bad curse, its one the better ones. Don't look at it as something bad. Alot of good can come out of it.

[Casey Morgan]

Sure, if it's a curse for you then there is a release. It won't be easy but you can do it. Just use a 12-step approach to crossdressing.

I think most of us have gone through the "why me" stage of being transgendered. Perhaps one day it will be a blessing for you, or at least not so hard to bear.

[Paige.]

I'm sorry, there may be a cure from the curse but there is no release. Once you become one of us we have you on our side there is no return. That is a rule that can't be broken.

[MJ]

I'm sorry, there may be a cure from the curse but there is no release. Once you become one of us we have you on our side there is no return. That is a rule that can't be broken.

why didn't someone tell me this 4 years ago . It's too late for me save yourselves ... oh right if your here it's too late for you too

[ashlee chiffon]

you're born with it and you'll go out with it...

just part of life! you are what you are!