best way to explain CD's?

[Nikki K]

I'm with you Cayce.

I've been trying, over the last few days, to categorise myself (mainly for the benefit of my therapist when I introduce this subject to her on Friday) and it's difficult. There appears to be a linear spectrum from M-F and absolutely everything in between. I just luv the way I feel when I dress; I also have femme feelings in my regular guys clothing. (Largely through wishing I was wearing something else!)
We are who we are and each of us is an individual. We may share some comment traits but we CD for our own reasons and to express or experience an inner personality in our unique way.

Nikki

[StephanieH]

As for me, and a lot of others I know, this is kinda' just the way I was wired up to begin with. I'm not gay, don't have any real interest in guys sexually. I don't have anything against anyone who does, because hey, I'm wearing panties, so who am I to judge anyone?

Like I explained to my wife, I think the reason I like CD'ing so much is that I've always admired and envied beautiful women, so much so that a part of me has always wanted to be one. It's the old "imitation is the most sincere part of flattery" thing.

The great thing I've learned from this forum is that when it comes to CD guys, there is no way to generally describe this crowd!

Take care and God bless!

[Sonia Kiss]

...How do I explain people being CD?...

I'll bite. CDs are attracted to, or identify with, some aspect or aspects of femininity

I used to give people a simpler explanation, and just say that CDs are attracted to femininity This explains, I would say, how they can be "straight." They might love femininity in their partner and also feel compelled to express femininity themselves. People liked that explanation. It made sense to them and helped them put their world in order. But as many of the other replies in this thread point out, there is no one simple answer.

Now two years into my experience with crossdressers, I no longer see it as simple attraction. Sure, there's lots of "I LOVE high heels/short skirts/panty hose..." but also there's "I FEEL so sexy when..." I think there's often an identification thing going on in addition to simple attraction.

Also after blossoming into this gender variant world, I now recognize that "femininity" is not a simple atomic concept, but is richly multifaceted. This is why one CDs form of expression can be completely different from another's. What is femininity? It is MANY things, of course.

The response I always get is, "why do they want to be both? why don't they just become either male or female"

You have to point out to people how naive that question is. It assumes that being female specifies all aspects of femininty. Women express femininty in amazingly diverse ways. Crossdressers do too.

Sonia

[Laurelanne]

I used to worry about all this too then one day a person asked me the burning question Why do you want to be both Male AND female and my reply was:
Do you like ham? do you like cheese? I Like Ham AND cheese. dont you?

[sissystephanie]

thanks for your interesting and eye opening responses. it has provoked another question in me...

if clothing was 100% gender neutral and women wore mens clothes and some men worse skirts, (females clothes) and it was completely accepted by society, how would that impact the way you feel about dressing? would you just be happy society was accepting of what you wore or would you no longer feel you were crossdressing because all men/women do it, and how would you embrace your fem/masc identity?

Can't speak for all crossdressers, but I for one would be happy that society accepted me the way I am. As I said earlier in this thread, I dress because I like to! Not for any other reason. There may be some fantasies involved at times, but nothing else. I just like the fit, feel, and look of feminine things!!!

Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[jenalex]

Now two years into my experience with crossdressers, I no longer see it as simple attraction. Sure, there's lots of "I LOVE high heels/short skirts/panty hose..." but also there's "I FEEL so sexy when..." I think there's often an identification thing going on in addition to simple attraction.

I sometimes try to explain this as "femme" expression (rather than female or feminine).

But then you usually have to try and explain butch/femme as well. No, a lesbian butch is not trying to be a man; she's co-opting male attire to feel powerful and butch, not male. It's about feelings not identity. How do you feel when you wear that skirt? I want those feelings too. But you look dreadful. Possibly, but it's about feelings not fashion; the fat woman at the lingerie party, you probably think she looks dreadful too, but she still wants those feelings. But you're a man. Yes, but I'm femme. So are you gay? ...

Actually I don't much bother trying to explain

[Jenny Doolittle]

It is simple........I dress becasue I like it!

[queerunity]

thanks for your responses, i think the simplest and best answer i have heard in a variety ways from a few of you, is the basic people like chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, not one is right or wrong and why judge someone if they like 1 or 2 flavors? hopefully that made sense but basically why should society set a standard if a man wants to wear a dress or a woman wants to wear something butch?

[jenalex]

thanks for your responses, i think the simplest and best answer i have heard in a variety ways from a few of you, is the basic people like chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, not one is right or wrong and why judge someone if they like 1 or 2 flavors?

that sounds like Bertrand Russell: liking strawberries is neither good nor bad, but someone who likes strawberries has an advantage over someone who doesn't

[MeraLehanga]

Sorry, the replies are going haywire not being distinctively answered. Strange, its all about harmones and ladies here talking about ice-creams and hamburgers to justify this sensitive topic like gender split personality of an indivdual! Funnily enough the right example would have been does Stereo speakers sound better or a mono one? Ahh! Wish it was as simple as that. I was expecting the justifications from the wisdom queen Betty or Salandara. I consider them to be intellects , they are thinkers and offer logical reasoning.

Anyway, One has to keep this in mind that the strong uncontrollable urge to be in female clothing begins when a child is just 3 years old! A divine age, Free from any influence, its a bodily hunger which can not be challenged nor changed, no matter what. Can be forcibly restrained but yet it comes back with strong force. Its ecstacy, its a mystery untold.

[TSchapes]

I'm two, two, two sexes in one!

The best of both worlds.

I am neither, I am androgynous. I am me. Get used to it!

-Tracy

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Like everyone here I just enjoy dressing as a woman, but I still like being a man with a woman, just dressed in nice clothes if possible. Someday I will meet my SO.

[queerunity]

thanks for all your help, there is so much awareness that needs to be done. i met a gay man yesterday who argued with me that trans people should just choose. im like uhh gender is more complicated than just male or female buddy.

[Ruth]

That's interesting that you should meet a gay man who seems to have no insight into transgender issues. It bears out my feeling that we all understand our own slant, more or less, but why other people behave the way they do remains a mystery. And that's why it's hard to explain CDing to a non-CDer.

[DanaR]

It's way too complicated and personal for each individual to try to explain it properly so I usually say : "...um, it's kinda like the male version of how a girl can be a tom-boy".

This is a good explanation.

[DeeDeeB]

How would you explain being bi-sexual to someone? With the black/white thinking, shouldn't we all prefer either men or women, but not both?

I'm happy with both of me and act and dress as one or the other depending on my mood and/or circumstances. I also don't try too hard to explain Dee, it's just a part of me that I enjoy.

Dee

[jenny logan]

I have spent a lifetime trying to figure this out. Counseling, abstaining, purging, and going full out to where I could easily pass never got me any closer to the real reason why I so thoroughly enjoy presenting as a woman. I guess the best way to rationalize it is to quote the immortal words of Popeye the Sailor Man, " I am what I am and that's all that I am"

I am transgendered and nothing will change that and quite frankly I don't want to. So, here's to diversity in all its many forms and may those who don't understand cding by calling me unflattering names or insisting I am a pervert can just kiss my girdled and pantied patoot.

Jenny L.

[Kelli Ann]

I think that the one of the reasons I dress up is because I want to become the woman that I can't have. I dress very sexy and before I know it, my dreamgirl is right in front of me in the mirror. VERY EXCITING!!!

[Nadia-Maria]

I think that the one of the reasons I dress up is because I want to become the woman that I can't have. I dress very sexy and before I know it, my dreamgirl is right in front of me in the mirror. VERY EXCITING!!!

Before knowing my present SO, I used to think exactly like you do.
My present SO is even more sexy than I could dream of, and I go on dressing nevertheless !!

Hence, things maybe still more complicated than that, I mean.

Kisses

Nadia