Be Careful

[Amy Hepker]

I have read many times in here where one of us will get out and about and when doing so will look to see if people notice us. Many have said they have smiled This is where you must be careful, if it is a guy looking at you and you smile at him, that is opening the door to say I like you and would not mind getting to know you. If this is not you intention then be careful. GGs do not look at guys they are not interested in and they surely do not smile at them unless they want to be approached. Although this is not true in all instances, I do know that it does open a door for a guy to think he may have a foot in.

SO, Unless your wanting to meet this guy and wanting to talk to him, DON'T look at him or let him see you looking at him to see if he is looking at you. Think back to when you were trying to meet girls. Did you approach a girl that would not look at you??? Most times NO!!!

Don't send the wrong signals, it is a wild world out there and a girl can get in trouble real quick.

BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Patti Girl]

GGs do not look at guys they are not interested in and they surely do not smile at them unless they want to be approached.

You are probably right, but I hope you are wrong! It's sad if people cannot smile at each other.

Do you really think those (few) women who have smiled at me (in guy mode) wanted to meet me?

Patti

[Alex!]

Yeah, I disagree. This is a major generalization. Women don't always smile at a guy in an effort to have the guy approach them. Indeed, I would argue most women and men smile for a bunch of reasons, few of which have to do with the desire to initiate an intimate relationship.

But when in chick mode I work hard at making sure I do not attract the attention of men in any way, though my appearance may sometimes do this anyway. In those cases, I am very clear that I have no desire to be with a man. The idea of that is nasty to me.

[Karren H]

Funny though... I'm not lookin and smiling at the guys.. I'm watching the women... To see what they are wearing and how their makeup is.. Lol. No matter how I'm dressed...

And I notice women looking at me in male mode all the time.. I snile and they smile.. Yeah there's some aluft ones..

I've found that smiling at anyone is the best defense around.. Definately disarms people... Imho...

I'm not saying don't be careful.. Pick your venues carefully.. I sure do..

[Kate Simmons]

Yeah, facial expressions and body language are tough to manage sometimes. While we want to be friendly, we do not want to mis-convey our intentions and our own BL often conveys our own intentions, even unconscious ones whether we realize it or not. We can learn a lot about a person if we pay attention to this stuff, however, especially that which is unspoken.

[Amy Hepker]

Well, I mean to say that if a GG were to completely ignore you, you can pretty much figure that she wants nothing to do with you, (when you are in guy mode that is) unless she is bumping into you on purpose.

I have noticed years ago that if a GG is looking they will see you fronm a long ways away, before you see them. (like across the room or building, parking lot or whatever) If they are interested in you, they will again look when they get close enough to catch your attention, and may smile or other.

I am not saying that a lot of GGs don't smile just in passing to be friendly, but there are ways that a male and female play the mating game and one is to get the attention of the other or not to get attention from the other.

If a male smiles at a GG and she is interested she will give a very pleasent, and accepting smile back, this is the cue foir the male if interested to make his catch line. (the line a male uses, that catches the interest of the female to strike up convesation)

On the same token, if she turns and looks the other way and does not smile back the male can figure there is no chance in hell of catching this one.

Just be careful in Female mode when out and about, I think Salandra says it best.

[jaina]

I totally dissagree.
Smile, say hi once in a while.

[Fab Karen]

While it's correct not every woman smiling is indicating intimate interest, it's also true there are clueless guys out there. & living in a metro city, the number of people smiling at each other is smaller. ( people in small areas probably don't get that if you said hello to everyone you see, it would take a week for the people you see in one day )

[waspookie6]

It may vary from city to city? Out here it is rude if you don't give that "quick smile", an acknowledgement someone has held the door open to a public business or walked by and initiated the "quick smile" first. It's just a way of saying hello, we are both human and that's a good thing.

DH noticed this when out en femme, guys & gals with a "quick smile" were doing just that, nothing more.

I do think it would be rude to not smile, nod, say that 'hello' softly if someone did that to you and DH feels the same way

[christinac]

Some people have to smile otherwise the look like a pissed off bulldog, but like all things you have to govern how far you let it go.

[JenniferR771]

So I was wearing a pants, wig, earrings, and lipstick, on my way to an accepting thrift shop. I got bold and went into a store which had a mail slot--dropped off a letter. I passed close to a 40 year old man with a shaved head. We exchanged slight smiles. And then after I passed about 20 feet, I turned around to see if he had noticed (and read me). And he was stareing right back at me! I got in my car and left. And soon noticed he was following me! I pulled into a gas station and he did too, and got gas. He left and I felt relieved. Drive off and he pulled out of a parking lot and got behind me again. Very nervous and upset. Finally I changed lanes quickly and got on expressway. He could not follow... Gone. Whew!

[annabellesmooth]

hi girls,
yes un wanted attion is not a good thing...
when out the other night i had a low v neck dress and i had a lovely cleavridge, (more for my self than for others) and i had a lot of unwanted aproches all but one left with good maners.. i was in a club so i felt comfotable with security near by

[Christine XX]

I actually think there are different kinds of smiles. A smile that says "Hello" or "I'm in a great mood and need to share it" is different from an inviting, flirty smile. I'm not sure I could describe the difference, but I think I know it when I see it. I agree that it does pay to be carefull about the message you may be sending. A genuine smile is mostly a good thing though, and can be infectious.

-Christine

[mike47]

I can understand what you are saying. To a certain degree agree with you. Generally speaking though I don't mind if guys come up to me and talk. It is fun and I have met some really nice ones. But then for me that is why I am at the bar.

[Alayna]

I totally disagree. That's like saying women shouldn't wear short skirts unless they're looking for sex. Not to mention the fact that what you're describing is highly situational.

Travel in pairs or groups and be conscious of the area you'll be walking en-femme in. That's a much more prudent way of protecting yourself than watching who you smile at.

If it's in your nature to smile at people when they look at you then do it. If they take it the wrong way then that's their problem!


Look, if you don't want attention don't go out. Unless you're completely passable then you will get attention, unwanted or otherwise. Of course body language is important, but only a fool would become angry or upset, then violent (or whatever else you might be afraid of) because they picked up on some accidental body language.

Sorry if I sound rude or crabby, but I think this is unproductive and irresponsible advice. You're free to disagree with me though...