Not a Good Night Out

[Angie G]

There must be a better part of town you could go to and matbe even move to.
Angie

[Carly D.]

In the first part of your post where you said the room wasn't very well both mentally and physically I think that should have been your clue to just turn and leave.. if I would feel that way I would have left.. you say that was your sixth time going out and while I've never been out I can only imagine.. while I was reading the post all I could think was what I would do, and being a chicken of sorts, I would have left at the first sign of being uncomfortable.. as far as when you got back to your home I think as well there that I would have driven by and waited till the party was broken up by either the law or attrition.. they can't fight forever..

[cd_britney_426]

I have not been out dressed since then but am planning on doing it again tomorrow (the 4th) or Saturday or possibly both. I'm not going to let one bad experience ruin what I have come to enjoy (CDing). However, this time I will need to have my guard up as well because it is the 4th of July weekend and of course the amount of drunks and crazies will be even more. I haven't really planned it out yet but perhaps there is a better bar to go to or I might go somewhere with a TG friend or something. As to my apartment complex, the place has been unusually quiet and normal following the incident. Not a soul in the parking lot at night, no police, and no trouble so I'm assuming that management and the law took care of the problem. The intention of spending time shaving, getting dressed up, and putting on makeup which takes quite a while is to go out, feel good, and have an enjoyable time. I don't think I'm a beauty queen but I have gotten some compliments. Obviously I have to have a level of normalcy to have a good time. I mean I can tune out or ignore some idiots or troublemakers but not if the entire bar is full of them and then more show up to my house. Hopefully no problems this time. Thanks for everyone's support. Britney

[Cristi]

I already did the smart thing by parking several blocks away from the bar....

...It takes less than one minute to get to the car...

Wow, you walk FAST!

[LilSissyStevie]

Back in my drinking and drugging days we called that a "good time."

[Claire3]

Wow,thats some bad experience.(understatement).I think a move to an area and change of bar where carrying a pistol isn't needed as well as dealing with these situations would be a good move.Or stay in.

[Sheena Pink]

HI Brittney, I know of the bar you were talking about. Bre visited it once when she first went out and was turned off by it. Too many working girls, no dance floor.
We usually go out to LA to have fun, they have a great TG bar there on Saturdays called Club Shine.
If we go out here in PHX, we'll go to a goth club, we've been to Tranzylvania, they were very accepting, and I do believe Bre was the only gurl we saw that night. It's on Friday nights at the Palazzo downtown. (I believe we are going out tonight in fact.) If you ever want to meet up let us know, if we're home, we're always up to going out!
About the crazies, I think you'd find them in any metro area, though there are some areas that have a higher concentration.

[pinkeverything]

I have a different spin on what is happening. Certainly you could move. Obviously, you can avoid going to a bar. However, the real problem seems to be drugs. Methamphetamine and Crack Cocaine in particular.

I am not from Pheonix, but I have done research on the topic and it is widespread and has the same results everywhere. The gay lifestyle and gay bars are notorious for having high rates of addiction. This is not news to you if you are in your 20's.

The problems my generation had (I'm 37) were entirely different, but notsomuch that we didn't witness the arrival of the drugs. Certainly these drugs were around prior to my adulthood, but it was very limited. To even hear the word Cocaine was almost foreign. Nobody I knew had even seen it. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I say it myself. Methamphetamine wasn't even in our imaginations.

Now we know better, but the younger generations are exposed to it all at such young ages that it is almost comfortable for them to experiment at very young ages. Certainly we experimented as well, but not with anything like Crack or Meth and anything else was outrageously expensive. Even a 1/4 of weed cost 120 bucks back then, now it's almost free. These days with Crack and Meth, the first hit IS FREE because it's the first one that gets you.

That's really it in a nutshell in my mind. What we had was a bunch of beautiful personalities that would have been pleasant and kind for the most part, enjoying the evening, perhaps had a bit too much to drink and got beligerent. What we have now is are hordes of people hooked on drugs that make them super aggressive and super DESPERATE. They feel no real pleasure, just pain. It's a real tragedy.

[Marvina Martian]

Hey gurl,

Sounds like you are living on the west side.....I know that most of the crazies/gangs/ whatever, seem to live on the west side of PHX.....!

We typically hang out on the east side/Scottsdale/Chandler/Mesa when going out so as to minimize the drama that we have to encounter.

So as far as going out, like my wife Sheena said, Tranzylvania is a great place to go. http://www.tranzylvania.net/main.htm
We CDers are very welcome here and there are a ton of people there just dancing and having a good time. No Drama!

In fact we were contemplating on going out this very night and since there could be a chance that some other gurls would like to come we will definitely be there! We love meeting new people!
Our plan is to meet there at 10, so anyone who would like to join us is more than welcome. Just wear black and you will fit right in!

If anyone is interested in coming just PM either of us and we'll make arrangements to meet up....


XO Bre

[Raquel June]

Well, that sounds like it was an exciting night

All the shady bars I've been to check your purse on the way in. If I went to that place, I'd get one of those garter-like thigh holsters.

And I certainly agree with everybody else saying you should move. I just moved because my car got broken into twice at my last place. If Friday Night Fights meant going out to the parking lot and watching a brawl, I would've moved sooner.

Check out this group: http://www.tgharmony.com/ .

I don't live in your area, so I can't endorse this organization, but from its website it looks like a much healthier place to start.

The OP sounds like more of a party girl -- she likes going out to clubs, having fun, drinking, and potentially hooking up. I doubt a TG support group that meets in a church is something she'll see as a viable alternative to a bar.

...We would sit in a VW bus,and get ripped. We would wear strange clothing, and talk about everything imaginable. Naturally, there were some hallucinations, but we were among friends, after all.

Oh, but that might be her kind of fun

HI Brittney, I know of the bar you were talking about. Bre visited it once when she first went out and was turned off by it. Too many working girls, no dance floor.

Eek! A bar full of hookers and tranny-chasers is one thing, but no dance floor?

I am not from Pheonix, but I have done research on the topic and it is widespread and has the same results everywhere. The gay lifestyle and gay bars are notorious for having high rates of addiction. This is not news to you if you are in your 20's.

Huh? You can't just go grouping all gay bars together anymore than you can group all straight bars together. I've been to many gay bars and many straight bars, many of which were even in the bad part of town, and the honest truth is that I've always found less potential addicts and more people capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation at the gay ones. I've been to sports bars (in drab) in seedy neighborhoods with parking lots full of rusted out pickups with NASCAR bumper stickers that you would assume would be full of a-hole rednecks, when in actuality it was a great, friendly crowd. I've been to up-scale bars that were full of jerks and actually did have people looking for drugs. It has nothing to do with the gayness or straightness of a club.

The problems my generation had (I'm 37) were entirely different, but notsomuch that we didn't witness the arrival of the drugs. Certainly these drugs were around prior to my adulthood, but it was very limited. To even hear the word Cocaine was almost foreign. Nobody I knew had even seen it. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I say it myself. Methamphetamine wasn't even in our imaginations.

Are you kidding? So you were in your 20's in the 90's. Well, the late 80's and early 90's was pretty much the peak of recreational cocaine use, and that's when everybody was bombarded by the War on Drugs and constantly told how horrible crack was and that you'd be an instant addict the second you took a hit. Even if you lived a sheltered life, it's ridiculous to say that the word cocaine was almost foreign. You couldn't turn on the TV without seeing Nancy Reagan talk about drugs. Unless you only watched Alf and The Golden Girls you'd have seen that most episodes of Miami Vice or TJ Hooker or Moonlighting or Hunter or Remington Steele were about drugs, and drugs even fit into a lot of Knight Rider and MacGuyver and A-Team plots. Kids thought drugs were awesome.

The truth is that these days they can barely give away cocaine. An 8-ball of coke is less than half what it was in the 80's, and nobody thinks it's cool anymore.

Now, meth is a different story, but that's much more prevalent with white trash (or just trash in general) than with the gay community. Meth makes you progress from paranoia to outright crazy pretty quickly, but more importantly it makes you smell bad and act kinda twitchy, which really isn't something that goes over in gay bars.

Now we know better, but the younger generations are exposed to it all at such young ages that it is almost comfortable for them to experiment at very young ages. Certainly we experimented as well, but not with anything like Crack or Meth and anything else was outrageously expensive. Even a 1/4 of weed cost 120 bucks back then, now it's almost free. These days with Crack and Meth, the first hit IS FREE because it's the first one that gets you.

I think you were just being overcharged for weed because you were in highschool

[pinkeverything]

Huh? You can't just go grouping all gay bars together anymore than you can group all straight bars together. I've been to many gay bars and many straight bars, many of which were even in the bad part of town, and the honest truth is that I've always found less potential addicts and more people capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation at the gay ones. I've been to sports bars (in drab) in seedy neighborhoods with parking lots full of rusted out pickups with NASCAR bumper stickers that you would assume would be full of a-hole rednecks, when in actuality it was a great, friendly crowd. I've been to up-scale bars that were full of jerks and actually did have people looking for drugs. It has nothing to do with the gayness or straightness of a club.

Statistically, the gay/lesbian demographics have a very high addiction rate.


Are you kidding? So you were in your 20's in the 90's. Well, the late 80's and early 90's was pretty much the peak of recreational cocaine use, and that's when everybody was bombarded by the War on Drugs and constantly told how horrible crack was and that you'd be an instant addict the second you took a hit. Even if you lived a sheltered life, it's ridiculous to say that the word cocaine was almost foreign. You couldn't turn on the TV without seeing Nancy Reagan talk about drugs. Unless you only watched Alf and The Golden Girls you'd have seen that most episodes of Miami Vice or TJ Hooker or Moonlighting or Hunter or Remington Steele were about drugs, and drugs even fit into a lot of Knight Rider and MacGuyver and A-Team plots. Kids thought drugs were awesome.

I did watch all of these programs, which is where I became familiar, but did not encounter it in real life until much later. I am in Canada though.

[SIZE="3"]The truth is that these days they can barely give away cocaine. An 8-ball of coke is less than half what it was in the 80's, and nobody thinks it's cool anymore.[/SIZE]

Exactly, which has caused a huge rise in addiction. And, I didn't think that I was speaking of "recreational use". In fact I don't think that smoking Crack can be counted as "recreational", it's hugely destructive.

Now, meth is a different story, but that's much more prevalent with white trash (or just trash in general) than with the gay community. Meth makes you progress from paranoia to outright crazy pretty quickly, but more importantly it makes you smell bad and act kinda twitchy, which really isn't something that goes over in gay bars.

It's happening everywhere, I understand. Our youth in the gay bars here have a lot of trouble with it and much of it leads to prostitution.



I think you were just being overcharged for weed because you were in highschool

True story. But......it's cheap like Borsht here now.....and the potency of our Canadian bud is unreal., but I don't indulge too often. It's mainly for guitar playing these days.

[pinkeverything]

Looks like I have to figure out how to split up the quotes better. That looks terrible. How do I do that?

[Raquel June]

Statistically, the gay/lesbian demographics have a very high addiction rate.

[citation needed]

Exactly, which has caused a huge rise in addiction. And, I didn't think that I was speaking of "recreational use". In fact I don't think that smoking Crack can be counted as "recreational", it's hugely destructive.

No, I don't think anybody (who isn't an addict) consideres crack, meth, or heroine recreational. But I don't think coke is a very popular recreational drug anymore. I just don't see coke as being a club drug anymore like X. I guess it doesn't really matter.

My real issue with what your saying is that it seems somewhat irrelevant. When you're talking about huge populations like that entire gay community, the club scene, and addicts as a whole, of course there's an intersection. There is not a strong correlation, though. Now, with regard to the OP's experience, you'll see a very strong correlation between hookers and addicts, and the fact that there were hookers at this club means that there were probably addicts, too. But you can't just say, "there are a lot of gay addicts." Maybe there are more addicts on the seedier end of the gay club scene, but there are tons more addicts on the seedier gangster-wannabe end of the hetero community.

I mean, if you go to a bar with a cover and kinda pricey drinks, you're not going to see addicts. If you go to a bar with no cover selling $1.50 bottles of Bud Light where hookers are wandering around looking for business, you're going to see addicts. Whether or not it's a gay bar is irrelevant.

Looks like I have to figure out how to split up the quotes better. That looks terrible. How do I do that?

You just have to manually edit it to have open and close quote tags. It's kinda a pain.