stand up

[nicky]

we all say our femme self is real so why dont we stand up for our self and do something instead of hiding in the dark why should we care what other people think or call us we have the right to dress what ever whey we want to it is repression and no body deserves to be represed this is america a free country i think we should all band to gether and stick up for ourselfs we should be able to walk the streets in what ever kind of clothes we want to and shouldnt be aloud to be discriminated aginst how bout we oraganize all of us spread the word its time we stand up and be heard

cding is not a crime nor should it be treated as one accepetnice will come

cd liberation

4th of july

[Amy Hepker]

You are right and I have been wearing a padded Bra for quite some time now. It is very visable under my clothing, I have also been known to wear Girl Sandals, girl jeans and a black girls top out and about. I don't care what people say or think, it is my life. I would stand up for another CD being harassed.

[Chloe Renee]

Is it ironic to any one else that this thread is started on "pride weekend" ?

Only you can change the future, by changing the present....

It can only happen if we try in life not only on the internet. Great thread

[Miss Petra]

But please careful of where and how you dress. Always be aware of your surroundings. Just because we have the right to do what we want in this great country doesnt mean you let your guard down for a minute. It is still a sad fact that there is still a lot of violence against TGs.

I agree get out there and experience it but always be careful and be with someone else if you can.

Now go out and express yourself.

Hugs,

Miss P

[sandra-leigh]

this is america a free country [...]

cding is not a crime nor should it be treated as one

Actually "this" is an international forum, and several members of the staff are in the UK.

And sad to say, but CD'ing *is* a crime in some parts of the world. Even in the United States, some cities have by-laws that repress cross-dressing; for example, the infamous Floridan city's "saggy pants" ordinance is written in such a way that it affects cross-dressing (including "under-dressing", since the relevant language in the law does not require that the garments be visible.)

Is it ironic to any one else that this thread is started on "pride weekend" ?

"Pride weekend" occurs at different times in different places. The biggest celebrations appear to be this weekend, but for example the celebrations here (Winnipeg Manitoba Canada) and in Calgary (Alberta Canada) were at the beginning of June. With the dates spread out, some people travel to be part of several celebrations -- and it gives a chance for some of the more famous speakers to be heard in person in different cities.

[nicky]

but still there should be n0 law on that aas long as its decent im hoping this post will get taken serious we can chang the way we live and the whey others act will follow

[Melanie R]

Most CD's do not stand up because of the fear of rejection and loss of one's job, family and friends. Today most of us are able to go out into the mainstream public because there were those in our community who stood up and were counted. In 1978 in Houston one person, a TG attorney, risked everything to get the law banning crossdressing in public overturned in Houston. Last night in Houston we had our 30th Pride Parade with the 16th year that our community was represented with a float and participation. We enjoyed the cheering and wonderful acceptance the 47 on our float and walking in front of the float received from the 200,000+ along the parade route. Of the 47 there were only four who identify as crossdressers. The others were transsexual or transgendered living full time as M to F or F to M. I doubt that Houston is that different from most communities.

Is it ironic to any one else that this thread is started on "pride weekend" ?

Only you can change the future, by changing the present....

It can only happen if we try in life not only on the internet. Great thread

I would be interested in knowing how many on this board either plan on particpating in Pride Parades crossdressed or have participated this year? I mean not standing in the crowd but on a float or waling with the TG community usually represented in all Pride Parades.

[nicky]

i would definatly be interested in trying it were is the nearest pride parade in kentucky

[Holly]

Change IS happening. And it will happen more and more as more and more of us are willing to educate the the public as to who we really are. The most effective way to do this, in my opinion, is on-on-one encounters.

[Melanie R]

i would definatly be interested in trying it were is the nearest pride parade in kentucky

Here is a link to the Pride of Louisville http://kentuckianapridefestival.com/.

[Chloe Renee]

"Pride weekend" occurs at different times in different places. The biggest celebrations appear to be this weekend, but for example the celebrations here (Winnipeg Manitoba Canada) and in Calgary (Alberta Canada) were at the beginning of June. With the dates spread out, some people travel to be part of several celebrations -- and it gives a chance for some of the more famous speakers to be heard in person in different cities.

It makes perfect sense for there to be many different weekends of pride in the world, I was just commenting on my little corner.
I had heard about the Chicago Pride parade, yesterday on the radio. And after a quick google found multiple events that were going on around the country. I had not originally thought that their would be multiple pride weekends within the US. I figured they would all follow the date of the "stonewall riots"

The fact that it is a crime to crossdress in some parts of the world is terrible. But as a few have said" times are a changing".
Many of those same parts of the world staying alive in general is a struggle. My heart does go out to people in those countries.

Tolerance does not come easy, in any culture that I know of.
I do hope that is what changes.

[Emily Anderson]

Nicky, I hear what you're saying, but isn't it a bit naive to think that all crossdressers can just say "f**k what anybody thinks, I'm going to do what I want?"

The fact is that it is not generally acceptable behaviour, unless one is lucky enough to pass, in which case that person becomes more or less invisible. For the others, who don't pass, there is a HUGE risk of aggravation, potential loss of job, friends, family, etc. upon discovery.

Sad but true.

[Kris]

Tolerance does not come easy, in any culture that I know of.
I do hope that is what changes.

Change isn't easy ANYPLACE............ which is weird because change is the only consistent thing in the universe.

Food for thought! I went to pride in Oregon.. it was a load of fun. I took my kids, and my son was with his mentor, loud and proud! :-)

Hugs,
Kris

[Fab Karen]

But please careful of where and how you dress. Always be aware of your surroundings.

I agree get out there and experience it but always be careful and be with someone else if you can.

Now go out and express yourself.

Hugs,

Miss P

Plenty of GG's go out places on their own. It is as you mention a matter of using common sense. However we do have an advantage, if we want to get to know how safe a certain area is we can go check it out as a boy.
Be proud of what you are. Go girls, go.

[sandra-leigh]

I would be interested in knowing how many on this board either plan on particpating in Pride Parades crossdressed or have participated this year?

When the subject was raised this year, I volunteered to be on one of the bigger floats, but my offer wasn't responded to and I just sort of let it drift and eventually wimped out. The day of the local parade, my wife was saying that we should go, but I balked. Why? I don't know, to be honest. Maybe I just wasn't really ready yet this year. Certainly I wasn't ready to out myself to my mother-in-law who happened to be visiting then...

[Jamie001]

I don't understand why so many folks that are gay have no problems being "out", while most CDs just cower in the closet. Why is this the case? We cannot allow the gay community to fight our battle because the overwhelming majority of CDs are not gay. Let's get out there and be proud of who we are. I suggest pushing the envelope in male mode just as women have pushed the envelope by wearing men's fashions. For example, we could start my going out in public as a male wearing a skirt, fem hairstyle, women's shoes, pantyhose, red nails, or any combination of the above. We need to show the public that we exist and stand up and be counted. Women have been wearing all articles of men's clothing for many years on a daily basis, it is time that men do the same and claim their rights.

Jamie

[sandra-leigh]

I don't understand why so many folks that are gay have no problems being "out", while most CDs just cower in the closet. Why is this the case? [...] For example, we could start my going out in public as a male wearing a skirt, fem hairstyle, women's shoes, pantyhose, red nails, or any combination of the above.

Well, as I am the only person who has responded in the negative in this thread, and as I used the phrase "out myself to my mother-in-law", it seems likely that you are responding to my use of the phrase "out".

If that is indeed the case, then you might be interested to read some of my postings over the last few days (or in the past): I am one of the people who are actively going out as transgendered; for example yesterday (Saturday) I went out grocery shopping as a guy in a dress, pantyhose, womens' shoes, and noticeable bust. Nail polish didn't happen to come to mind, partly because I was thinking in terms of "just get out there and do it" rather than in terms of "getting ready for it"; nail polish is not exactly a brush- on- and- go cosmetic.

I've done a fair bit of visible cross-dressing, been the "good-will ambassador" in a number of establishments and to many people. I've been fairly public -- amongst those who don't know me personally or don't know where I live or where I work or so on. It is, however, a very different dynamic to reveal oneself to people who know exactly who you are, and a very different dynamic still to reveal oneself to family. The strangers... if they don't like cross-dressers, they can ignore me or cross the road or what-ever. Family you have to live with, and your spouse has to live with; it is a deeper and more permanent sort of revelation.

[Joy Carter]

Much too long of story to tell, but I was outed at work, and ended up having to retire early do to harassment. So you can pay a big price for being who you are. This is why many of us stay behind locked doors.

[Jamie001]

Joy,

May I ask what type of industry that you worked in?

Is harassment illegal in the state that you were working in? In California, I believe that crossdressers are protected.

Why does anyone care if you are a crossdresser as long as you adhere to the company dress code and don't crossdress when you are at work?

Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions,

Jamie

Much too long of story to tell, but I was outed at work, and ended up having to retire early do to harassment. So you can pay a big price for being who you are. This is why many of us stay behind locked doors.

[Joy Carter]

Joy,

May I ask what type of industry that you worked in?

Is harassment illegal in the state that you were working in? In California, I believe that cross dressers are protected.

Why does anyone care if you are a cross dresser as long as you adhere to the company dress code and don't cross dress when you are at work?

Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions,

Jamie

Jamie, I worked for a municipal government. And it was three years ago that I left their service. And no there was no protection back then, or now as far as I know. The harassment was from the rank and file, my three direct supervisors as well as the department head. I stood it for three years, and when I finally stood up to the one employee who was the worst, I was told I was wrong, in spite of all that took place. In my line of work, you never went to the head guy with a complaint. I was desperate and did. That only started the decline in respect from other employees. Whats funny, we had wife abusers, child abusers and drunk drivers where I worked. I never heard of anyone directly harass them. I guess I never noticed how dangerous a guy/girl I am. LoL

[vivianann]

unfortunately for some crossdressers it is not wise to advertise that you are a crossdresser, for you should not be militant about it either, yes we already have the right to dress how we want as long as it is decent. I agree with Holly, we need to educate 1 on 1 about crossdressing, I have been doing just that for the past several months. I go out enfemme almost everyday and I meet alot of peaple, I find the GGs to be very understanding and they have alot of questions, which I am happy to answer. I like it when peaple ask questions because I can dispell alot of the miths that is so prevalent in society. We need to follow the example of the GGs who blazed the trail of the right for women to wear pants. By going out and wearing dresses we are slowly gaining the acceptence for males to wear dresses in society. I do not participate in any pride events because i do not agree with the militant demand of specail rights, and I am not homosexual, and in my opnion the pride events represents the homosexual interests, and not the heterosexual crossdressers interest.
We need to be careful, where we go while crossdressed, be in public places where other peaple are so if there should be an incident where someone wants to hurt you there will be witnesses, and also to deter some one from harming you. it is good to be with friends also. For those of us that can get out enfemme, lets blaze the trail for those of us who cannot go out enfemme so society will eventually let the rest of us out of the closet and be free to be ourselves.

[Angie G]

My biggest fear is my family my kids and I'm not risking my relationship with them to walk down the street in a skirt.
And I would never want my grand kid to get teased or verbally hurt because Grandpa wears a dress and heels. I'm happy where I'm at and will stay there.
Maybe it's easy for some to say lets go show the world we dress like girl but some really need to be discreet. I could give a flying rats ass what people think of me but I will always try to protect my family.
Angie

[jenny logan]

Discretion and proper timing are what I always take into consideration before going out en femme. Most of the people I know view cders and cding as a perversion and a sin. There are relatively few members of society(male or female) that are enlightened to the point of accepting men such as myself without judging them as freaks, weirdos, etc. I simply will not subject my children to the animus that would come from a large section of society (most of my family included) were they to find out I am a lifelong cd.
It's not fair, it really shouldn't make any difference to anyone how I chose to live my life but the reality is such that it would be a crushing blow to those nearest and dearest to me and I refuse to do that to them. Therefore I take the necessary precautions by being extremely discreet and pick my moments carefully. By far, this is the most negative aspect of a cd's life and I don't see it changing anytime soon no matter how brave the more courageous members of the community are by being out and active.

Jenny L.

[Kate Simmons]

Everyone has a different situation and "standing up" means different things to different people. It would be nice to think that if we all organized en masse and carried signs and demanded our rights that we we would accomplish something positive. The truth is, that just doesn't work, especially in this situation wherein many have much to lose by coming "out", including their families and their livelihood.

I agree with Holly in that we have to prove who and what kind of person we are first. Demonstrate that we are not that much different by being a positive example. This way we win hearts one at a time and that is more long lasting. It may seem like slow progress but it is effective and by doing this we also prove what kind of person we are.

I do not label people, rather I value them for who they are. This they have proven to me by the things they do and say and I can have confidence in that. Really it comes down to us as individuals and we "make" or "break" ourselves by how we act and what we do. It's the same with a performance review at work. We may contribute to a group effort but the bottom line is what we ourselves do and how it affects the overall productivity of the group, the company, society. Look at the poem "The Nail" and you will see what I mean.

We have to truely believe in ourselves before we can make real progress and that is one truth that cannot be denied.

[MJ]

yes stand up be loud and proud . lose the one you love , your kids , your friends and family ... and your job ... what price are you willing to pay

if of course it goes badly .. i do believe in telling the truth but are you willing to pay the price...i know it's not fair but thats life