CROSSDRESSERS ARE NOT GAY DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am sooooooooooo sick of the small minded people who think that because a man wants to wear womens clothes that he is gay!!!!!!!,,most gay men DONOT wear womens clothes,, my wifes bro is gay and he dont wear womens clothes,, they dont like women so why would they want to dress like them??????????
I'm with you on this one!!
I just don't get the link, myself.
Men like men = 'gay'
Men like women = 'straight'
Men like dressing as women = TRANSGENDERED!!!!!!
grr...
Prepare for the onslaught of exclamation marks in this thread.
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I am with you all the way on this girls.The only one who did'nt ask if I was Gay was my psychiatrist.For some unknown reason most people think that if we like to wear clothing of the opposite sex or are in any way effeminate that we are gay.We all know that this is not so but,how do we educate others?
Love and Hugs,
Priscilla
Love and Hugs,
Priscilla
The question I would be asking is.... how did people come to believe CD's are gay in the first place?? I remember Tammy telling me she was a CD... first thing she said was 'I'm not GAY'... I never assumed she was.... so I ask myself... why did she have the need to tell me this???
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Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn
[SIZE=4]i'm with 110%[/SIZE]
try not to let them get to you
i know easier said than done
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the most people realy can put together is drag queens and what thay see so to them drag queens = crossdressers= gay.............
I think that it person wether you CD, just like if you are gay, steight, or TG. Now here is the problem most people are not able to understand that you can be streight and CD, you don't have to be gay to CD. I my personal choices are differ from anybody and everbody.
Getting all hot and angry got you going, and you vented. I can understand you problem. I get like over all sort of stuff.
One is to do with gender..the other to do with sexuality.
But use a bit of false logic and it all makes (wrong) sense.
Gay = effeminate.
Effeminate= womens clothes.
Women's clothes = gay.
Stupid but it makes sense to the average person who knows nothing about the subject.
I mentioned this before - one reason, here in the SF Bay Area at least, is that every year when the Gay Freedom Parade is held, all the television media cover it and invariably home in on the most outrageous drag queens they can find to put there cameras on. This accounts for a significant amount of exposure into the gay,lesbian, bi, transgenered community for the mainstream folk. All they see are guys in drag standing in front of rainbow banners and GAY FREEDOM! signs. There is never an attempt to differentiate TG and gay.
Second point, is the phrase I used above - "Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered" (GBLT) this catchall phrase is used unwittingly everywhere. If you didn't know any better what else would you derive from those words? Case in point; I just Googled the letters "GBLT" and it came back with Did you mean GLBT? (note I had inadvertently swaped the letters L and B)
Last observation; go into your local bookstore and ask if they have the book "My Husband Betty" or any other book on crossdressing for that matter, they'll direct you to the Gay/Lesbian section. I think "alternative lifestyles" would be a better choice to name the section, but that's usually not the case.
~Sigrid
I'll take the pink one.
"Just be honest, be faithful and have fun" ~ my wife
I agree with all that has been said. The idea that simply wearing women's clothes makes a person gay is the one thing that really gets me ticked off.
However, I can see the "fuzzy logic" that some people might have.
Wants to wear women's clothes = Wants to be like a woman.
Women (for the most part) are sexually attracted to men.
Anyone who's sexually attracted to men (and is not a woman) must be gay.
Maybe this should be the next question, I'd like to know where it all began myself. Good thinking TOriginally Posted by Tamara-GG
I am not gay at all, but on some occassions when dressed, I have wondered what it would be like to have a sexual encounter as a woman. But it was always in the context of Christine with another GG woman using the necessary attachments if you know what I mean.
The point is, whether as a man or as Christine, I still have no interest in other men from a gay point of view. In my heart I am still hetrosexual regardless.
I guess its possible that the general population sees the traditional man/woman relationship 'as normal'. If cd/ts want to appear as woman, society probably expect them to have relationships with men 'like normal', so we are automaticallly considered gay because of that perception.
Its a complicated interpretation by society which will take a significant amount of time and effort to re-educate.
Last edited by Clare; 05-15-2005 at 09:21 PM.
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Love And Devotion To My Online Family
I'm outa the closet, but still inda house!
you can click on your post and edit it right there, instead of posting another reply.Sorry - that last word should have been 're-eduate' - otherwise the context is wrong!
Christine
There are only 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.
when a man wears womens clothes small minds think he must be gay well if u follow that thinking then a woman who is wearing pants (is crossdressed in my eye) so then she must be a lesbian.. can u all follow the thought process here???
i only think a woman in pants is crossdressed i dont think of them as lesbians,, i was just giving an idea of how the logic follows...
and i wasnt ranting because of my own experiance,, it was in responce to a post i had read from someone who told there wife he crossdressed, and how she thought he was gay...
I think it's how the term 'gay' is percieved by the general community. Particularly by the none-gay, none-crossdresser males in society and also on different levels by these same people.
People who are gay are fully aware of the different alternative lifestyles as they themselves are part of the scene and so are not as judgemental.
For the average guy, he wants to appear as masculine as possible to his friends so identifies anything remotely feminine another guy is doing or wearing is gay. Whether this is having a male to male relationship, thereby taking on the role of a woman or simple wearing girls clothes.
When someone is seen as deviating from the masculine 'norm' of what a guy should be doing he is being different and when they don't know what to call this difference they place simple tags to it.
~Tammy~
Peope are ignorant and misinformed you know?
Merry
HRT since 2009
I agree with Amelie.
It's people's acknowledgement to gay and CD. We cannot hope them to recognize the difference btn the two. Some day they would know they are different. But till then, we would seem to be gay in their eyes.
As a matter of fact, I'm bi.
Life would be much happier if you know http://planet.daum.net/crystal_sub.
You know all you women are right Just because we like femininity doesn't mean we are gay. A select few may be bi curious but that is to get the full effect of female being i beleave, correct me if i'm wrong. But i still truely love being with my wife and i love to wear womens clothing. Totally confused were these people are coming from.
I too agree with Amelie, Gay and bi CD have way more exposure then straight CD that usually stay private or just go out driving during the night.
You can't stay in your home in the closet and hope to educate people from this message board. It a big uphill battle , and quite frankly i don't have enough confidence in the intelligence of the masses to grasp such simple concepts. They find stereotype and making fun of us are way more fun for them then trying to understand .
Ariel Pinklover
It's a tough job. It aint gonna happen overnight.
Getting out there is a personal choice, depending on your comfort level, and how much you feel you have to lose. No one should be expected to be a martyr for that cause. Gay or straight, The challenge for transgendereds is to show the world, little by little that we are good friends, neighbors and relatives with the same lives, in many ways, as everyone else.
I don't shove my cding in people's faces, as I have no desire to make people uncomfortable. When I go out, it is either to pass as a woman, or go to a tg friendly place(preaching to the choir again). Having said that, I was accidentally discovered and outed years ago. Word, of course, spread. 20+ years later, the people who know I am a cd also know I am not some freak, and are still my friends, as long as they don't have to know about it. We are not talking about tremendously educated or vastly open minded people, here, though they are good, loyal friends. So in a small way, some minds were changed there, albeit accidentally.
Like it or not, transgendereds, except as the butt of a joke, make many people exteremely uncomfortable. We are much less understood or accepted than homosexuals, and they themselves have a long way to go.
I'm afraid that there is no easy answer here. If you find yourself in a position where you can comfortabley reveal who you are, or are inadvertantly outed, all you can do is do your best to allay fears and misconceptions. Promote tolerance and open mindedness everywhere you go. If you are not afraid of who you are, live that way. If you are still finding your comfort level, do the best you can. Respond to things as they arise. Write a letter to a local newspaper, if a related issue comes up. And for god sakes, if your'e hanging out in guy mode with your buddies, don't ever join in on the bashing and belittling!
I'm afraid small steps is the answer here, one person at a time. We are a bigger group than anyone dare realize, and maybe one day we will have our own voice, instead of an afterthought at the end of GLBT. But that isn't going to happen anytime soon, I'm afraid.
Hugs,
Melissa
Maybe I used the wrong word when I said "confront" people about CDing.
I didn't mean we should be carrying picket signs saying, "I am CD here me roar".
I mean, do the little things. When shopping in drab, tell the sales-people that the fem clothes are for you. Then when other CD go shopping, the sales-people will have already encountered CDs, it won't be much of a surprise to them. If they see polite, well mannered CDs(in drab), shopping they will get a better impression of CDs. It's mostly these little day to day meetings with other people that can help your CDing situation.
You have to let others know that you are out there, and that you are not a threat. That you are the same as them, you just dress differently from time to time.
I hope I didn't give out the wrong impression, I didn't mean to be in people's faces. Just let them know you are here.
This has been a public announcement from the BBCD( the Better Behaved Crossdressers of America). Management(me) has no liability to whatever has just been said.
Amelie
That's a pretty cool idea, Amelie. I shop pretty much without fear, and have been ready to tell the truth if asked by anyone, for a while. But it hasn't happened, yet. I never thought of actually just telling people. I'll have to notch up the courage meter just a bit, but yeah, I think I could do that. Politely, of course. That's the whole point, right?
Don't want the BBCD coming after me!
All part of one small step...
Thanks, Hon.
Hugs,
Melissa
That's a pretty cool idea, Amelie. I shop pretty much without fear, and have been ready to tell the truth if asked by anyone, for a while. But it hasn't happened, yet. I never thought of actually just telling people. I'll have to notch up the courage meter just a bit, but yeah, I think I could do that. Politely, of course. That's the whole point, right?
Don't want the BBCD coming after me!
All part of one small step...
Thanks, Hon.
Hugs,
Melissa
Yes Politely.
Don't be like me. I usually throw a brick at a shop window to let them know a CD is coming in to shop there.
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