This has been bugging me!!!

[LilSissyStevie]

Should it be like what they do in grade school these days where everbody "wins" the race if they show up or if they at least meant to be there? I wonder how you would go about enforcing this sort of "encouraging post" egalitarianism. Maybe the mods could limit the number of posts in the "hottie" threads until the "nottie" threads catch up. Heck! Maybe I would even post my ugly mug. It would be fun to watch people strain to say something encouraging --"Gee Stevie, I saw your picture and I'm feeling better about myself as a crossdresser. Thanks a bunch!!"

[JaytoJillian]

PMs are definitely the way to go when offering pointers. There is one member here who I thought was being a bit rude to me in their feedback on my pix. When I viewed other posts that this person had made, I began to understand that that was the way in which they communicated with everyone. However, I would have still rather it had been said via PM, as on the surface it seemed a bit mean. Basically, what we all learned as kids should apply; 1) if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything. And 2) there's always something nice to say about someone.

[Raquel June]

I see a common sentiment here:

I guess what keeps coming back to me is the fact that this is a support Forum...

I think we should be here for each other to support, not to intentionaly belittle someone.

Everyone who feels this thread is hitting a nerve...back off on the picture posts for awhile and start supporting the others in the section for awhile ..

But wouldn't it help to comment on those who aren't "so hot" to encourage them to do better?

Also this is supposed to be a support forum, so where's the support for someone who's new and trying and gets hardly any posts whether critical or not?

I'd think that posting little supportive comments would be encouraged whether the poster is a knock-out or not.

I do love to take pics and post them, and have a few comments on this thread. They all have to do with being supportive...

it has been nicely pointed out to them by a certain mod to post and support the other girls...but most the time it falls on deaf ears.

Isn't this supposed to be about support.

But what exactly does it mean to support/encourage? How are we supposed to do that? I think many of us share Tracy's feelings:

I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I don't know how you will take the advice.

...

And finally, if you do think I know what I'm talking about and want advice, please PM me or email me. I'll be glad to help. I love helping. I just don't want to offend.

We all want to be help, but what do you say?

When you see a girl who obviously doesn't look up to par, what are you supposed to do?

If you say nothing, you may hurt her feelings and she'll assume the worst. "Yep, I look as bad as I thought."

If you just say, "Lookin good!" or "Looks like you had fun!" she may feel it is patronizing.

If you randomly offer advice on how she could look better, she may be very hurt. "Oh, you think I look that bad? You automatically assume that I want your advice?"

I really don't know what to say to people.

I know that personally I don't look nearly as good as most girls on here who post pictures. I'd really like advice on looking better, but when I ask for it people seem afraid to give it to me.

And as far as bumping threads, I really don't know what do to there, either. I mean, when I made a picture thread and someone says something nice, I'd kinda like to publicly thank them, but I also don't want to look like a crazy narcissist constantly bumping my own thread.

[Ashley in Virginia]

But what exactly does it mean to support/encourage? How are we supposed to do that? I think many of us share Tracy's feelings:





We all want to be help, but what do you say?

When you see a girl who obviously doesn't look up to par, what are you supposed to do?

If you say nothing, you may hurt her feelings and she'll assume the worst. "Yep, I look as bad as I thought."

If you just say, "Lookin good!" or "Looks like you had fun!" she may feel it is patronizing.

If you randomly offer advice on how she could look better, she may be very hurt. "Oh, you think I look that bad? You automatically assume that I want your advice?"

I really don't know what to say to people.

I know that personally I don't look nearly as good as most girls on here who post pictures. I'd really like advice on looking better, but when I ask for it people seem afraid to give it to me.

And as far as bumping threads, I really don't know what do to there, either. I mean, when I made a picture thread and someone says something nice, I'd kinda like to publicly thank them, but I also don't want to look like a crazy narcissist constantly bumping my own thread.

Simply perfect. Exactly what I was thinking. Thanks for saying it.

[Sherlyn]

In general if you look in any section of the forum you will see the same sorta thing going on as in the Gallery ..popular members with lots of reply's.....its just not the Gallery !!!!! take a look in this section for example..threads on HOT topic's sending others down the page

[daviolin]

I try to read all the picture post's and I really love checking out all the girl's. I don't respond to all of them, but I try to when ever I can. I posted my first picture's the other day and recived many wonderful responces. I was flatered. I like to encourage the girl's when ever I can. we all need suportDaviolin

[darla_g]

If she's hot, she's hot. If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.

Don't buy that. It comes off very rude.

[Jadeanne]

When I visit this website, my first stop is usually the picture forum.

I try to reply in a positive manner, but don't really want to just say "me too". I usually only reply if I can make an observation or ask the author a question about something which no other responders have posted yet.

[Carly D.]

That is just the way it goes.. I know I posted pics of me and shortly after I pushed the post button wished I hadn't.. I got like three responses and like two weeks later the moderator deleted the entry and I breathed a sigh of relief because while I wanted the pictures here for viewing, they really don't compare to a good lot of the others that are here.. that being said though I can understand what you are saying.. and when you post your pictures you should ask for advice on different subjects such as make up or whatever.. that will get you a good number of responses I'm thinking..

[Shelly Preston]

Everyone should remember its not easy to post pictures for some

We should always focus on the positives and offer constructive advice when appropriate

[Melinda G]

Some people simply should not post pictures. I know this is a support group, but are we doing anyone a favor by saying, "you look lovely dear", when they clearly look like one of the Budweiser boys? If they post pics, and no one replies, it is because people are being polite, and kind. The alternative is to lie and say you look lovely, or be truthful and say, "you look like a man in a dress". I think any reasonable person can look in a mirror, and tell how they look.

[Holly]

...The alternative is to lie and say you look lovely, or be truthful and say, "you look like a man in a dress". I think any reasonable person can look in a mirror, and tell how they look.

WIth all due respect, Melinda, constructive advice can always be offered. If a poster in your eyes looks like one of the Bud Boys, offer something that would help... "A little padding for your hips could enhance the feminine look you are trying to achieve," or something like that. Being helpful does not equate to being mean. And discouraging people from posting pictures just because in your opinion, "Some people just shouldn't" shows a lack of compassion on your part.

[Deborah Jane]

Some people simply should not post pictures.

So why do you then?

Not so nice when you get it back is it!!!!

[Darlene Dippy]

Yes the hotties are going to get a lot more responses than those of us who are less attractive. I expect that and frankly it doesn't bother me.

The are many reasons why pictures are posted and counting responses is only one of them. For me its about becoming 100% comfortable with who I am and being open about that. I know I'm getting close to my sell by date, but feel sad that some members feel perhaps I, and others like me, "should not post pictures".


Darlene

[Shelly67]

I think its a very honest thing we do , post a picture of yourself , no matter how convincing you may / may not appear. I also consider it brave . We are after all very sensative people - arent we ??
Perhaps a little more reflective support could be offered ...
And if a reply is a little delicate , perhaps a private message would suffice ?

[RobertaFermina]

Perhaps we could have Yet Another Forum !!???

How about doing it like the Public Pool ?

A shallow pool for beginners and the Deep End for the more adventurous and experienced ?

1. A Pictures Forum for Beginners to focus encouragement and tips.

2. The Intermediate/Advanced where you get straight feedback.

In this way, beginners who need support and validation won't have to measure themselves (consciously or unconsciously) against those in the DeepEnd. We can support them just as we support those who announce themselves in the Welcome/FirstTimer's Thread.

Roberta

[Emily Anderson]

I wasn't tying to be rude, just stating the fact that the better looking CD's will naturally attract more attention and prompt more replies.

Whether that's fair or not is another matter. I also agree with those who said when you're starting out, you need more encouragement.

[Jane G]

One of the best things about this forum is the encouragement and support we can all get from it. The pics section is a very popular area. I would like to think that no matter whether I looked like a GG film star or a docker in a skirt any coments, from a pic post, would be positive and I'm prety sure, from the posts I have seen, that they would be.

[Sabrina Flowers]

I try to look at and post a comment on picture threads where I can, but being one who is not very good with words and spelling, my comments can be similar to some others and simple wording. I also agree with most of the comments here, particuly Marla and MJ comments. Also if I can not think of something encouraging or supportive and nice to say, I will not post a comment. Sometimes a comment can be read a totally different way by someone than how it was written by the poster.
Being presently one of those shy “headless” members I try and make an effort when posting pictures of my outfits and showing them to there best, and I know how important nice comments help to make me feel a part of the forum and when I post a comment in other member’s threads I hope it makes them feel better and encouraged.
If only more members would say a thank you when they get comments, perhaps better comments might be made.

[Bonnie D]

I wasn't tying to be rude, just stating the fact that the better looking CD's will naturally attract more attention and prompt more replies.

Whether that's fair or not is another matter. I also agree with those who said when you're starting out, you need more encouragement.

I didn't think your were trying to be rude either. I was thinking that it is human nature to be attracted to good looking people; men, women, TGs so it is only natural that "hotties" would get more replies.

An effort does need to be made though to support everyone who posts a pic. DD made a good point about comments not having to be made just about the posters appearance. Wig colour or style, clothing style, makeup, pic background, pose. etc...

Bonnie

[Tina Dixon]

AND futher more there are prob 8 girls that I can think of on the top of my head that pop in to just put their pics in and thats it.....it has been nicely pointed out to them by a certain mod to post and support the other girls...but most the time it falls on deaf ears.
So now can we go back to having fun in the gallery now!

Di points it out right here, this is what bugs me the most, but I don't think things will change just had to get of my chest and I will be there for the other girls just starting out

[Rachaelb64]

I generally try angive constructive responds, especially to newbies, remember how scared/narvous you were first time you posted?

And I think we should step back and remember what we see in the mirror is not always what the camera sees

Just have fun and enjoy

[rian]

Tina now you are acting like a girl ...ha ha ...