Can you relate to my peculiar sexuality ?

[SatinDoll00]

I have been involved, in the past, with men sexually. I have only done so while dressed as a woman. I can say this, I had no interest in 'doing things' to the other man...if you get my drift. And in some cases, had not interest in having him do certain things with me. My role was that of a female, and I really wanted to do the things a female would do to a male, and have him do things to me that a male would do to a female.

I do not want this to turn graphic, but I can say without a doubt that my sexual desires changed when I was with men as compared to what they were when I had sex with women.

I am not sure how to phrase this cleanly, but in one certain aspect of sex that involves the mouth, I actually prefer the male organ to the female anatomy.

Call me what you want to call me...but I am who I am.

[Pickle65]

I think there's a difference between a male, and a male in a dress. I spent a long time contemplating this, because I would never have sex with a man, but I have seen more than a few TV/TG's that were absolutely gorgeous.

The conclusion I came to was that I'm attracted to feminine traits (curves, smooth skin, long hair etc.), not necessarily strictly females.

[TGMarla]

Frankly, I don't relate to your sexuality much at all. Although I have a vivid sense of autogynephelia, and wonder what it would be like to have sex as a woman, I'm not a woman, and thus have no desire to actually have any kind of sex with men. I don't have the right plumbing, and I'm not willing to substitue orifices.

If it works for you, that's great. But you were right when you said it was complicated.

[SatinDoll00]

I don't have the right plumbing, and I'm not willing to substitue orifices.

There is some discomfort involved at first.

If it works for you, that's great. But you were right when you said it was complicated.

I think sex should never be complicated. You do what you want to do...and nothing more.

[joann426]

well if i see a pretty cder i really dont get excited but i really love to see a pretty women especially one that is in a bikini and has one hell of a nice shape thats whats turns me on i guess i love women and their clothes

[Alex!]

Actually, gender and sexual attraction are, in fact, different. How one interprets this information is something else entirely. I am attracted to women. If a man looks like a woman and I don't know it until I find out the hard way (a la "Crying Game"), the show is off. This does not change the fact that I am attracted to women. Deception, whether intentional or not, is exactly that - deception.

Now, hormones do play a role in gender identity, apparently. The genitals release hormones at various levels, so when these are removed and/or radically adjusted for gender reassignment (which is a horrible term used to describe the surgery), elements of one's identity change. I am not an organic chemist, so I cannot go any further here.

In any case, my gender and sexual orientation are not in flux or otherwise a mystery to me. When I was younger and confused about my crossdressing, this was because I was too unsophisticated to understand my own behavior (read youth-induced ignorance). Now, I understand what crossdressing is to me. I certainly cannot apply this understanding across the full spectrum of crossdressers, however.

Some folks have a problem understanding why a heterosexual man would choose to dress like an attractive woman and not want to actually be a woman or not want to be with men. Humans are a diverse lot. I know its fun to think about such things, but I can assure you that the answers are so diverse that the process borders on irrelevant beyond a good debate over cocktails.

Crossdressing for me is an art form. Some do it well and others do it poorly. But this is a preferance thing; some like realism and others abstract. So when I see other crossdressers who do the craft justice, I see it as competition; or rather, a motivation for me to improve my look and manner when en femme. On a related note, sometimes I see an attractive GG and I say: "Damn, she's hawt!" at the same time I say "I really love that outfit..." Seeing crossdressing as a form of art explains why I do not really identify with the fetish crowd or those on a transgender journey.

I also agree with others that sex should not complicated. It is primal and basic. Gender, however, is quite complicated, especially since a good deal of this particular part of our identity is defined by society. This is not a bad thing, necessarily. It is a human thing.

[Nicole Erin]

YOu like what you like, why worry about it?
Sexual preference should not be an issue until you are ready for a serious relationship, then and only then should you be thinking about whether you would prefer a man or a woman or whatever.

[SatinDoll00]

Sexual preference should not be an issue until you are ready for a serious relationship, then and only then should you be thinking about whether you would prefer a man or a woman or whatever.

Well said!!

Nice avatar BTW!

[whitelace]

Hi there.
Just reading some of the replies I can see that you are definately getting some great advise.
Around here your profile, which you have kindly shared with us indicates that you are quite normal and a lot like many of us ( not all)

If the uncertanty of labeling yourself is causing you pain and duress IMHO
that is the problem to focus on
steer clear of labels don't put yourself in a box

one thing that caught my eye is the fact that you mentioned that w/o viagra you find it difficult to perform with a woman and I'm sure that you know best.
But
To my knowledge unless you are somewhat aroused it won't work! ( then again at 32 maybe it dosn't take much) so here's the thing , I've been with both guys and girls and I find it also depends on how sexy or stimulating each individual is ....barring gender.... the more experimenting you do without labeling and putting yourself in a box so to speak the more room you'll give yourself to grow.... let us know how you are doing with this ...we all care and are here to help hugs....lacie

[Shayna2008]

I wouldnt bother with the labels...trying to get all the labels right is confusing. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to either sex. I myself have been attracted to guys and gals and would be open to having a serious relationship regardless of gender.

[gabe]

When I listen to music I like more bass than treble. In a string quartet I mostly only tune into the cello part, sometimes the second violin, the first violin does nothing for me. That is a personal preference, not a deviation, there is no need to correct my personal preference.

The point is we all tune into different frequencies and march to a slightly different beat. The complexity that you described is merely a personal preference. Personally I do not see it as a deviation, and I would not seek help for it. You are blessed with the ability to enjoy a wider varieties, and as CDers, we all are blessed with the ability to enjoy more what life has to offer. I would just enjoy life as is, do not over analyze it. Whatever blows up your dress is fine.

[annabellesmooth]

hmmmm
have you tryed an active tranny
it works for me
a girl with the lot

[KayR]

Actually, gender and sexual attraction are, in fact, different. How one interprets this information is something else entirely. I am attracted to women. If a man looks like a woman and I don't know it until I find out the hard way (a la "Crying Game"), the show is off. This does not change the fact that I am attracted to women. Deception, whether intentional or not, is exactly that - deception.

Now, hormones do play a role in gender identity, apparently. The genitals release hormones at various levels, so when these are removed and/or radically adjusted for gender reassignment (which is a horrible term used to describe the surgery), elements of one's identity change. I am not an organic chemist, so I cannot go any further here.

In any case, my gender and sexual orientation are not in flux or otherwise a mystery to me. When I was younger and confused about my crossdressing, this was because I was too unsophisticated to understand my own behavior (read youth-induced ignorance). Now, I understand what crossdressing is to me. I certainly cannot apply this understanding across the full spectrum of crossdressers, however.

Some folks have a problem understanding why a heterosexual man would choose to dress like an attractive woman and not want to actually be a woman or not want to be with men. Humans are a diverse lot. I know its fun to think about such things, but I can assure you that the answers are so diverse that the process borders on irrelevant beyond a good debate over cocktails.

Crossdressing for me is an art form. Some do it well and others do it poorly. But this is a preferance thing; some like realism and others abstract. So when I see other crossdressers who do the craft justice, I see it as competition; or rather, a motivation for me to improve my look and manner when en femme. On a related note, sometimes I see an attractive GG and I say: "Damn, she's hawt!" at the same time I say "I really love that outfit..." Seeing crossdressing as a form of art explains why I do not really identify with the fetish crowd or those on a transgender journey.

I also agree with others that sex should not complicated. It is primal and basic. Gender, however, is quite complicated, especially since a good deal of this particular part of our identity is defined by society. This is not a bad thing, necessarily. It is a human thing.

Eloquently put, and I agree totally with you Andrea. For instance I find the picture on your avatar to be extremely nice. If it was shown to me in say, a party I would have to say "Thats a pretty girl" (no, I'm not trying to patronise you!). However, the fact that you are male and like me a hetero, means that if we met there would be no "chemistry". There may be good conversation around a common interest, but it would not be flirting, it would be a chat between 2 blokes in frocks.

[valenstein]

When I listen to music I like more bass than treble. In a string quartet I mostly only tune into the cello part, sometimes the second violin, the first violin does nothing for me. That is a personal preference, not a deviation, there is no need to correct my personal preference.

Gabe, I LOVE that! I'm stealing that!

There have been times when someone sexy caught my eye, and I was initially wrong about their gender after looking a bit harder. I know a TS that I thought was GG until the third time I met her, but it didn't change the fact I had that initial attraction. Part of the reason CDing is so frowned upon is that society is so attached to gender, there are few things that identify one's being more than gender, both internally and externally. In my opinion, that's too bad, there are way too many gray areas.

Would you be attracted to:

A FTM Transman?
A hardcore tomboy GG?
A woman with AIS, who appears female physically, a female gender identity, but is considered male medically?
A hermaphrodite who appears physically male? Female?
Your SO if they wanted to have complete SRS to the opposite gender as you see them?

It's just one of the reasons I dislike the word "crossdresser". It assumes something about my identity based on public opinion and medical terms.

[tvbeckytv]

hi dani,
i would say i relate to 90% of what you have said, when i was younger moreso than now.
My rational is slightly different to yours in that i consider myself to be "tranny" gendered. This IS my gender, i am not a gay male that crossdresses, i am a transgender transvestite that is gay. Being tg dosnt necessarily mean you have to be one thing or the other, you can have womanly gender charateristics without feeling you are a woman.
gender and sexuality are of course differnt things, but they do interact and have some influence on each other. My tranny gender id is such that i could not perform as a man even if i wanted to, either with men or women...thats just not what i am.
going back to your list, as i say it was more relevant to me when younger than now. back then i felt much more emotionally attracted to women, but there were no physical desires. the opposite was true with men.
Even today, i could not walk down the street, see a man, and fancy him...it just dosnt happen. What does happen is that there are character and personality that i am attracted by, and once i am, i then find i begin to physically 'fancy' him too. Its all about actually knowing someone, and what type of man he is. for me its typically alpha male that i am attracted to, with a bit of wit and intelligence thrown in. More than that, once in a physical relationship with a man i have 'grown' to fancy, i can even fall in love too. That is something that deffinately would not have happened when i was 32.
It has been this way just for the last 10 yrs or so. I am 43 now. As a consequence i have lost the emotional attraction to women now too. I can certainly recognise an attractive woman, but now i have no desires for intimacy at any level no matter how attractive i may think she is.
I hope that may help in some small way, you dont sound too different to me at all.

[Deborah Jane]

Nope!!!

[trannie T]

As an intellectual exercise I can relate to your sexuality. As an emotional exercise it is quite different than mine. As long as nobody is harmed and your activities do not involve children or small animals your sexual activities are your own business. If you are comfortable being who you are don't worry about it, if you are uncomfortable with your sexuality find a good therapist.