An equal reaction??

[SatinDoll00]

I have been thinking about this scenario recently, and wanted to see what everyone thought, especially the SOs of MTF CDs. Everyone should feel free to respond though...

Okay, many of us MTF CDs want our SOs to accept us. Most would love for that acceptance to carry over into the bedroom. Some have it, some don't.

Well, my question is this:

To the SOs of MTF CDs - What do you think your CDing SOs reaction would be if you started wanting to present as a male in the bedroom? Would he accept this?

To MTF CDs - What would your reaction be if your SO suddenly wanted to present as the opposite gender in the bedroom? Would you be okay with that? Isn't that basically the same thing we are asking of them?

Just curious...

Morgan

[SusanLaine]

This is a great question and one I've pondered for a long time. I try to imagine my reaction if the roles were reversed and I've had difficulty envisioning it. Basically, even my wife will freely admit that she doesn't mind looking at women and seeing them kiss and so on while she doesn't find men behaving the same way attractive at all.

If you look at many of the top male figures out there, their often clean shaven head to toe and not very masculine from a hair, gut, etc. perspectiive. IOW, in general nobody seems to mind touching the female form or seeing intimacy between women. At least this is as far in the thought process as I've gotten on this subject. :-)

[Anastacia_Sandria]

Truth be told, if my wife wanted to try her hand at it, I'd be more than willing to give it a try. She's been unerringly supportive of me, and I'd do the same for her in a heartbeat. Don't ask me how the bedroom mechanics would work, but we'd figure that out

[SusanLaine]

I would definitely be supportive of course, I didn't meant to imply otherwise...:-)

[CaptLex]

IOW, in general nobody seems to mind touching the female form or seeing intimacy between women.

Really? I can name a few people who would mind - just off the top of my head . . . myself included.

[sandra-leigh]

Pretty much exactly the same thing gets asked every month or two. To me, the question gets old very fast, as it almost never goes anywhere.

This question is often presented as a "magical thought", something that once thought by each of us is supposed to "open our eyes" and clear everything up for us -- and it doesn't.

You can call me "selfish" for not putting my wife's potential discomfort first, but the truth is that for most of us cross-dressing is not something that we can "just not do", at least not without strong consequences to our emotional health (and often to our physical health as well.)

Some people drink alcohol or take illegal drugs or get extreme mood-control prescription drugs to cope with the world; I cross-dress -- and yes, it does make a noticeable difference to my health. I am not going back to being fuzzy-headed nearly all of the time and literally barely able to get out of bed just because my wife is ambivalent about my cross-dressing: those were a couple of years of utter bleak misery far beyond mere "unhappiness", and I am not going to re-live them.


One of the recent times that this topic came around, I picked apart the premise and took it over to one of the Transmasculine sections, asking roughly, "Okay, those of you who were married and came out to your husband, wanting to wear a moustache or a packy or whatever: what was the reaction". What, in other words, was the reality of what had happened when the "table-turning" of this present topic had actually occured. The answer from there was along the line of "It didn't happen that way for us; we {FTM} either came out while quite young, or we didn't come out for years after we divorced."

So the proposed scenario is unlikely to happen in practice: it is a "thought experiment" without any predictive power, because its premises are not realistic.

[SatinDoll00]

You can call me "selfish" for not putting my wife's potential discomfort first, but the truth is that for most of us cross-dressing is not something that we can "just not do", at least not without strong consequences to our emotional health (and often to our physical health as well.)

What leads you to believe that I am calling you selfish? (or anything for that matter)

Keep in mind, I have the same exact addiction to crossdressing you do. For the last week, I have been out of town on business, and I have dressed every waking and sleeping moment when not in meetings or at the office (and was underdressed for all of that too).

I agree, CDing is not something we can just give up. For me, I have not told my wife about my crossdressing, because I know for a fact that she will not accept it, and our marriage will likely end. I am not ready to make that choice. If anything, that makes me the selfish one.

The reason I presented this question (and pardon me for not realizing it had been asked before, I have not been posting here for a while) was because I am trying to come to terms with what my wife would think if I told her.

I know personally, I would have a hard time dealing with it if my wife came to me and told me she wanted to present as a man in the bedroom. I would not be opposed to it, that would make me the ultimate hypocrite...but I know that it would be very strange and different. I am bi, and I have been with men in the past (not now that I married) but I was always dressed and essentially playing the part of a woman when I did so.

Sorry if you took offense to my question, but I must admit, it is a question that every crossdresser that expects their SOs to just accept us should answer, at least to themselves.

I am a lot of things, but a hypocrite, I am not.

[Emily Anderson]

Morgan,

Great post! It is a question that I have pondered, and exactly why I don't try to push my SO any further than she wants to go.

[Karren H]

My answer is always the same... Hell no!! I would be upset and as pissed off as she was when she found out about be.. And for that reason I completely understand her problems with this... And don't blame her one bit for them... She wants a husband not a girl friend and I want a wife not a boy friend.... ...

[Kristen Marie]

Good question. My wife and I were attracted to each other for a number of reasons, but one was her athleticism and her tomboyish characteristics. She sometimes takes a bit of the lead role, but never over the top. I have often wondered if I have given her the right opportunity. Heck, she wears lots of cotton panties and pants.

[Stephanie Michelle]

What if the show was on the other foot sort to speak. I am a married heterosexual and am not into men even when dressed. If my wife would cross dress, I am open enough to help her with what her needs would be. I still would know that under the tighty whiteys is still my wife. And if she would grow a mustache I would be jealous because I can't grow one.

StephaniE

[SusanLaine]

I was unaware that this question gets asked regularly but I'm glad that it does and see no issue with seeing it pop-up every so often. There are plenty of new people here and it's an important subject that we've probably all thought of.

For me, my wife is a saint. She's accepted me as I am even though she wasn't fully disclosed before we married. I'm working to try and make our time together as girlfriends more enjoyable and she trys hard to do the same.