Why do GG's/Gays like men?

[AmandaM]

Sometimes MTF CDers wonder if they are gay or bi, or are just plain confused. Let's see if there is any insight we can gain on this. These questions are for GG's or 100% gays. Here goes.

Why are you attracted to men? Is it "masculinity"? Is it their looks? Ruggedness? Sight? Smell? Total package, or just the package?

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Amanda,
Well I guess we are all different but for me I am attracted to athletic types. Good legs, nice bottom, nice smile and I love hairy chests to bits.

However, nature rather than looks rates higher for me. I dont like shallowness and I like men to have an opinion, I love debate and it is important for me to be able to have an intelligent discussion with my mate.

I really like the social types who show an interest in whoever they might be talking to at the time. The ones who walk into a room and can instantly strike up a conversation with others and are genuinly happy to be where they are at the time. People lovers. (Which is strange because my fella is a tad shy but he is dead sexy.)

The one thing I really cannot abide is selfishness. Consideration for one another is a very big issue for me. Someone who can see both sides of an argument and approach a debate with maturity has to be right at the top of the list and if he has the ability to make sacrifices for the sake of a relationship then he's my man.

I love men who get on with their lives and despite everything rise above afliction. We all have stories to tell of someone doing us wrong, but I love people in general who look on it as a learning curve and move on without turning themselves into a victim. In a man that is a very attractive attribute.

Individuality is something I like too. Someone who isn't afraid to challenge the status quo and stand up and be counted. Someone who although aware of other peoples feelings and gives consideration to them, is his own person.

I also like touchy feely men who are not afraid to show emotion and are demonstrative when it comes to showing their love for their partner.

Asking a lot isn't it but you did ask.
Take care
Bev

[SarahLynn]

Bev; 'tis a pity you are already married, i know a guy... .

SarahLynn

[CaptLex]

Why are you attracted to men?

For the same reason I like old movies, rock and roll music, chocolate and the color blue . . . it's just my taste. We're all born liking some things and disliking others - it's what makes things interesting. How boring things would be if we all had the same taste.

My friend Phil (who is hetero) and I were debating this good-naturedly recently. He said, "You have to admit, women are softer." To which I responded, "Oh yeah I admit that . . . but not everybody likes it soft." I don't think I've ever seen him blush like that before.

Is it "masculinity"? Is it their looks? Ruggedness? Sight? Smell? Total package, or just the package?

Yup, it is the whole package. Sight, smell, the way the clothes fit, the hair is very important to me, and I'm attracted to eyes and lips. But I don't have any one "type" either, they can be tall, short (actually I really like little guys), slim, muscular, very masculine or somewhat fem . . . I prefer brunettes, but I've been known to drool over some blondes. And like Bev said, he'd better have something intelligent to say or I'll lose interest very quickly, no matter how hot he is.

[Bev06 GG]

Bev; 'tis a pity you are already married, i know a guy... .

SarahLynn

LOL, Actually Sarah I am not married. Well not yet anyhow. My partner hasn't proposed yet and doesn't look much like he will do as he seems to like things the way they are.
Bev

[Tamara Croft]

Gawd, that's a loaded question

Well, as I didn't know that my SO was a CD when we got together, it wasn't that When I first started talking to him on ICQ, there was an instant intellectual connection, there was chemistry, it was like we'd known each other forever and we'd never met. When we did meet (only after 2 days of talking), for me, it was 'wow'... looks, nice body, but the main attraction for me was conversation, I mean it's all very well if you look great, but I need conversation, someone with at least a few good brain cells We've been together 9 years and have been together since the first day we met

[Stargirl]

Most are fairly easy to reason with. A few of them will accept separate housing, and encourage me to be a bachelor girl without complaining. Many are very happy about having "his" and "her" individual bank accounts. Most are physically stronger than I am. Men can be incredibly weird, and that might be very entertaining if we are a tad bored.They can drive a car, and I never do. And the right ones have everything I desire for a good romp in the hay. I like men who are strong, sensitive, and empathetic toward Nature. There's more, but I have to behave myself in a public forum.

[Fab Karen]

So bisexual/pansexual people don't count in this survey?

[Alan]

I'm not 100% gay, but I do consider myself gay (I like women too -- so what? I don't see sexuality as a black-and-white thing. I strongly prefer men).

For the same reason I like old movies, rock and roll music, chocolate and the color blue . . . it's just my taste. We're all born liking some things and disliking others - it's what makes things interesting. How boring things would be if we all had the same taste.

My friend Phil (who is hetero) and I were debating this good-naturedly recently. He said, "You have to admit, women are softer." To which I responded, "Oh yeah I admit that . . . but not everybody likes it soft." I don't think I've ever seen him blush like that before.

Very true; I think that's why I prefer men (besides basic chemistry/biology).

I also just feel more comfortable with guys. When I'm talking to a girl, esp one I don't know so well, I always scrabble to impress her, and with a guy, I just feel more at home, more like, yeah, you and I operate on a similar page. Whereas, I don't think most girls and I are in the same library, let alone the same page.

But I may just feel comfier with guys because I'm gay, and that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

[Bernadina]

..

Why are you attracted to men? Is it "masculinity"? Is it their looks? Ruggedness? Sight? Smell? Total package, or just the package?

Not attracted to men at all but was wondering if Money is a motivator for attraction.

[Alan]

To answer the money thing: It really isn't for me. Most of the time, really rich people just annoy me, since they take everything for granted (I'm not saying that ALL rich people annoy me, just the one's that seem to think having a pool in their backyard and four cars is their undeniable right). So, no, for me, it's more about personality and looks and just chemistry than it is money.

[Deidra Cowen]

I am attracted to men because they emotionally make me feel really good when things click!

I look for personality, being well groomed, confident and then looks are not too important. I just don't want a ugly mug but I don't really care much if they are super handsome or not. Really to me dispite the fact I am not sexually attracted to women men just don't look as good as chicks anyway! GGs are like great Art I luv appreciating them...but don't really want to take the painting home with me from the museum.

I do like men but I personally think a super attractive pre op Tgirl (who can still be a guy in bed if ya know what I mean) with a nice personality is the most sexy thing in the universe!

But I have little luck with Tgirls (too much drama most da time) and really just mess with guys when I want some company...but don't get the wrong idea...I spend more time out clubbing and partying with my friends than I do chasing guys.

[AmandaM]

So bisexual/pansexual people don't count in this survey?

The point of this qualitative info session is to see how those only attracted to men feel. Bisexuals may feel the same toward men, but they may have a muddled set of perceptions like questioning CDers can have. Therefore, this was directed at those known to desire men. Of course, adding bi's to the question would be a good "follow up" question to see their variance.

[Alan]

The point of this qualitative info session is to see how those only attracted to men feel. Bisexuals may feel the same toward men, but they may have a muddled set of perceptions like questioning CDers can have. Therefore, this was directed at those known to desire men. Of course, adding bi's to the question would be a good "follow up" question to see their variance.

I'm not sure about the muddled set of perceptions. I'm... not BI, I'm attracted to both (sheesh, I hate labels), and I know very clearly what I like about men and what I like about women. And which one I'd actually like to date, ceteris paribus (men). I don't exactly see why being attracted to both men and women would muddle our perceptions.

[abundantly_me]

hmmm, I think I've been fascinated with men forever, I don't recall ever doing a double take looking at a woman, but I know I have when it comes to men, and I don't exactly know what it is. I do know what makes some men more attractive to me then others, and items that I may notice first, and qualities and characteristics that will keep me coming back for more. But I sense within your question you are asking what draws us (gg's) to the male and honestly the more I think about it, I believe inside of us there is an instinct that we sense/feel.

[cd_britney_426]

Not to sound rude, but this question really makes no sense at all. It is like asking someone why their favorite color is blue or why they like action movies more than comedies. People have likes and dislikes, we are not robots who are programmed (at least some of us ), and part of being human simply means that people are hard-wired to prefer some things over others.

Why are you attracted to men?

This is not even an answerable question. If a GG is responding, it simply means she is heterosexual and if a man is responding, it simply means he is gay. Maybe I'm reading into this wrong but the question itself is actually a bit offensive because it is suggesting that we simply wake up and choose to be attracted to a certain gender which is not true. Britney

[Tamara Croft]

This is not even an answerable question.

I beg to differ, but seeing as a few of us GG's have answered the question, it obviously is answerable... and the question wouldn't make sense to you unless you are a GG or gay...

[Beth-Lock]

A woman friend answered it once, even though it seemed unanswerable to her, that women just do like men, as if women are born that way, (and maybe they are).

[Alan]

I beg to differ, but seeing as a few of us GG's have answered the question, it obviously is answerable... and the question wouldn't make sense to you unless you are a GG or gay...

I'm gay, and the question doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Never did. Guys ask me how can I like another guy? Because, the male form arouses me. I can't really see another answer...

[Jessica Brekke]

Having kissed a few men, but never actually having been with one, I think my opinion might not carry much weight, but... for me, I'm attracted to their certainty. The power with which they project what they want onto me. I find myself wanting the feeling of being wanted by them. Of being unable to deny them what they want.

Of course, up until now, I've been TOTALLY able to deny them what they want. So perhaps I just haven't met the right guy.

[AmandaM]

Interesting! "the male form", "instinct", "nice smile", "hairy chests", various personality things such as "strong", "confident". GG's and gays liking the same things, it appears. Where will this lead? Makes me wonder about people who post on Craigslist and other forums who just want to perform a specific sex act on someone. It makes me think that even if it's a same sex, sex act, that maybe it's not a gay thing, maybe it's more like a fetish. Hmmmm......is that why some CDers are "bi when dressed"? Is it really a continuation of a fetish? I think that idea is somewhat insulting actually. I debated not posting it, but heck, what do you think?

[Bev06 GG]

Not to sound rude, but this question really makes no sense at all. It is like asking someone why their favorite color is blue or why they like action movies more than comedies. People have likes and dislikes, we are not robots who are programmed (at least some of us ), and part of being human simply means that people are hard-wired to prefer some things over others.



This is not even an answerable question.

Mmm I think its answerable Britney. And considering where we are it gives insight to CDs as to what women or gays find attractive in the opposite sex. And if you asked me what my favourite colour was I'd tell you it was pale Green, and the reason for that is because its pretty, calming and natural and also fairly neutral so goes with anything when your decorating. It also suits me when I wear it.
Take care
Bev

[Fab Karen]

Interesting! "the male form", "instinct", "nice smile", "hairy chests", various personality things such as "strong", "confident". GG's and gays liking the same things, it appears.

( Alan has already made a couple of points I was going to make on this thread )

Whether hetero GG ( you made a huge assumption that all women like men ) or gay male, not all of them are into hairy chests, "confident" "strong" etc. etc. just as hetero males are not all into one type of woman.

[Tamara Croft]

I'm gay, and the question doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Never did. Guys ask me how can I like another guy? Because, the male form arouses me. I can't really see another answer...

Well there you go then, you answered the question

[CaptLex]

A woman friend answered it once, even though it seemed unanswerable to her, that women just do like men, as if women are born that way, (and maybe they are).

Some women are born that way . . . but not all women like men.

Interesting! "the male form", "instinct", "nice smile", "hairy chests", various personality things such as "strong", "confident". GG's and gays liking the same things, it appears. Where will this lead?

What do you mean? Is it supposed to lead somewhere?

Makes me wonder about people who post on Craigslist and other forums who just want to perform a specific sex act on someone. It makes me think that even if it's a same sex, sex act, that maybe it's not a gay thing, maybe it's more like a fetish.

Now you really lost me. Are you suggesting that my attraction to men is a fetish?

Hmmmm......is that why some CDers are "bi when dressed"? Is it really a continuation of a fetish? I think that idea is somewhat insulting actually. I debated not posting it, but heck, what do you think?

I think I'll wait for the explanation. I can't answer anything about CDers and what they're attracted to or why, I can only tell you about my own situation.

We're all born attracted to certain things and certain types of people - what we don't know when we're born is that some people consider some of those attractions "normal" and some "wrong". So we don't learn to like things, we just learn how people will react to us when we tell them what it is we like.