Feelings after orgasm

[Rabina32]

Hi my name is Rabina. I have been in therapy for about 4 months now, to deal with my TG issues. I have not started to transition yet, but hope to start electrolysis in Dec. and hormones soon after that. My goal is to completely transition over the next few years. My question is after I have an orgasm, either with my partner or by myself, the feelings of wanting to be a woman are gone for an hour or two. After I feel sort of dirty, or like i have lied to myself or my partner. After 1-2 hours the feelings come back and all has been returned to normal (well if wanting to change ones gender is normal). Just wondering if this is normal to feel this and if any others have had the same experience.

[mike47]

I have had the same feelings before. As time goes by and the more open I have become they have actually become less frequent. Sometimes I do get them but not as often that is for sure. That is my experience at least.

[jczr2]

WOW! I was afraid to post something like this, thinking I was the only one who thought like that.

Hopefully there are more with these feelings. It would make me feel better.

[Sara Violet]

yes I had that too. Almost to the point that is started to question if my TS was just a sexual thing or just dirty. Once I started hormones all those feeling left me.

Just a theory, but maybe its because after orgasm your T levels go up. So with the higher level of T you get a false sense of masculinity.

[jill s]

Exactly how I felt from puberty on into my 30's . Once it was over a wave of guilt and than total put anything to do with gender or arousal or fantasies of being female completely out of my head for a short time. Now almost 50 and I seem to constantly think about gender, it's a continual noise in my head and almost no sexual link to my cross dressing. Frankly I wish it would go back to the other way. I think any strong guilt feeling needs a way to be relived and the mind plays all kinds of tricks on it's self for protection. What is your therapist saying to you about this?

[Sarah...]

Absolutely - I've been there, and for a long time too. It was destructive and caused seriously melancholic and negative attitudes to myself.

I'm not currently on any hormone treatment but those feelings have gone now. I think because I have completely accepted who I am - in fact I'm proud of it.

I wouldn't want those feelings back at all - they stemmed from trying to be someone I'm not.

Thanks for sharing, Rabina.

Sarah...

[karezza]

Rabina,

There are very significant physiological differences between male ejaculation and female orgasm. Both trigger the release of hormones, but they are different and have different affects. The hormones released at the moment of male ejaculation are deadening to the libido and there is a sense of psychic letdown. By contract, female orgasm is soothing, relaxing and invigorating. There is no psychic letdown and women can continue with rolling multiple orgasms for hours.

It is possible for a male to separate ejaculation from orgasm. With practice, you can stop the ejaculatory trigger and allow a wave of orgasmic energy to sweep through you. In this way you experience something very similar to a female orgasm without the letdown of ejaculation. And, yes, you can have these energy orgasms for hours, just like a woman.

I am not familiar with the affects of female hormones on a male, but from some of the responses, it appears they may mitigate the ejaculatory hormone problem.

In the meantime, I would suggest you try orgasm without ejaculation and see how you feel. I love it!

The only book I know of on the subject is The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia, but there are probably others.

http://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic...6931447&sr=1-2

Karezza

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Ladies!!! great topic...

in my humble opinion, this single issue (i am sexually attracted to being a woman) had been the most destructive force in my life...i have seen many therapists, and recently i have done my own research, found an incredible expert tg doctor and tg therapist....and i started hormones last week

i think the whole thing about ("Im a woman trapped in a mans body") is true for many ts girls..the thing is FOR MANY OTHERS there is sexual arousal in and around tg activities..it has NOTHING TO DO WHETHER YOU FEEL YOU ARE TS!!! .

for me...i can recall closing my eyes in the bath and just willing myself to be a girl...i recall sitting in class with my legs crossed pretending i was one of the girls and gettng very aroused at this..i have crossdressed for years..when i see a movie i get aroused pretending to be the girl in the movie (I always loved chic flicks for this reason and it got me lots of dates heh)...i was always attracted to women however when i made love i always pictured myself as the woman..in fact, my sexual nature is very passive and i love to cuddle and hug...over time i found i totally lost interest in sex as a man.

as michle i've been dating men, and i found that i had more sexual pleasure than i ever thought was possible and i never ejaculate with them...(in case your interested its true...men are pigs!)

so if you feel you are ts, pls try to stop worrying about what your penis is doing while you think about your goals and dreams ..i know it caused me alot of confusion

..by the way..i still worry so i know how hard it will be to stop worrying!!!

too long..so thats my 4 cents!

[Marina]

When I first dressed partially at about 12 and walked around and had my first orgasm, I couldn't undress quickly enough - I felt disgusted wearing high heels.

Then as time wore on I felt more relaxed and undressed slowly, but after orgasm I wanted to be back in male mode ASAP.

Then I reached about 20 and after the deed was done, I undressed quickly but after half an hour or so, I wished I was back enfemme.

By age 30, after the dirty deed, I just wanted to relax a bit, slip off any restraining clothing (e.g. high heels) and chill. Then I felt so content and relaxed I'd continue in my femme mode.

Now at age 40, while enfemme and if I need, I do my business, feel content, feel lazy for a minute or 2 then feel so happy and relaxed en femme. Orgasm used to be an objective, now it's an enhancement to my major pleasure (being myself -dressed)

For me anyway, I reckon now that I'm happy with my dressing so any childish guilt etc. is long gone and when I feel the need to do the dirty deed, I'm still happy with what I'm doing. So I think any past guilt or lack of interest afterwards was a confused (natural) reaction to how I was "conditioned" as a kid.

Don't worry about your reaction to any sexual feelings or doubts - or lack of - just do exactly what you want to do. Relax and enjoy..

Be happy
Marina

[Scotty]

You may experience a LOT of doubt on HRT - the T - blockers did it for me.

The 2nd time around I told myself the end result is what I wanted and to be patient....and I did...

But alas when the Testosterone is gone sometimes those feelings subside or doubt arises...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

scottie..

i would love to have that happen...then what? get off hormones and back comes the feelings??

actually thats a rhetorical question...i kinda anticipate what you are saying and we'll have to see what happens in my case.

one thing i like about this kind of forum is that we are sharing experiences, and i've met a bunch of ts women in the last 6 months and its been very helpful to me...some girls i've talked too have had very similar experiences than you, one of the dr's i've corresponded with believes that is a necessary part of transition for some girls to prove that their "motives are pure" ...of course she also thinks thats driven by how guilty and ashamed many of us have been taught to feel about sexual and gender issues....

[Jena11]

Well, I was sad to hear that people struggeled with this. I have always felt like it was just wrong for me and I want to know the feelings of a female orgazim. Take care. JC

[deja true]

"...Orgasm used to be an objective, now it's an enhancement to my major pleasure (being myself -dressed)..."

And this, I'm thinking, is how it's been for most of us that started dressing early...

The shame is a result of our male condtioning that starts as early as the cradle.

The shame is reinforced to a more or lesser degree from our upbringing. Strict homophobic or transphobic or, hell, anything-phobic lessons from our parents and peers make us less able to handle or accept anything out of the narrow range of our assigned social or sexual role. A wise child, an educated child, an intelligent child rebels from this kind of discriminatory life.

A more enlightened and liberal upbringing should, I think, allow us to be able to see early on that any acivity or life-style or personal choice that harms no one and makes us happy and content, is acceptable and shouldn't be a source of guilt or shame.

Guilt is for the guilty. Think you're doing anything really wrong?

[Rabina32]

Thanks everyone for contributing to this thread. When i first posted it i wasn't sure if anyone would respond or what others would say. To see that others have felt this, is a big relief and has made me come that much closer to understanding this journey that I'm about to embark on.

[Suzy Harrison]

I used to feel that way.

I don't know if I've changed because of my age, or because I'm more comfortable with the way I am. But now the sexual side of it isn't the driving force anymore - and after orgasim I still feel the same.

[Empress Lainie]

[SIZE=4]I may be different from most or maybe not. I never had any sexual feelings about dressing as the woman I am. I never had the feelings after orgasm that I did not want to stay a woman.

I know from what I have read and in Deidre McCloskey's book, before her transition she would become aroused and relieve herself when crossdressing, I never understood it myself, but is seems fairly common.

I had one glorious multi-orgasm a few months ago for the first and only time, for 10 minutes I had a rolling 7 orgasmic peaks, I think for the first time I understood women's multi-orgasms. Wish it would happen every time but many times I cannot achieve orgasm at all.
[/SIZE]

[Steph Butterfield]

A common feeling, as a side effect of male orgasm, is that testosterone levels rise rapidly. Once I'd been on an Anti Androgen 9-12 months I lost male orgasm and male sex drive.

At this point I felt sex didn't matter, but soon after this my female sensuality took over and I'm able to feel a warm glow at the sight of a handsome guy.


Stephanie

[AmandaM]

I know a TS who used to find "pleasure" with the women's clothing magazines. After her sex change, she just looks for clothes. So, maybe it's normal?

[Nicole Erin]

After having an "O", the only thing one wants to do is relax.

I think a lot of what is suggested on some texts is that if a person has any sexual feelings about anything, then she is not truely TS. I know it is weird but some believe that a "true" TS should not get turned on over anything.
What a crock.

But you should not worry about your feelings. No one cares about anything after the "O" other than "nappy time!"

[gagirl1]

i'm alot like micheletv when it comes to the arousal part of her post. putting myself in the women's shoes always seems to get me going. not in a crazy way, but enough to get my mind going.
but yeah, as soon as the party is over, i do feel dirty. i start worrying about what it all means and start judging myself. what has really helped, though, has been to look in the mirror and see the makeup i still have on and seeing how fabulous i look and feel enfemme. that comforts me greatly and i calm down and just accept that i enjoyed the experience. the feelings are still very strong, but i am young still and have been dressing for less than 6 months. just wanted to add another supportive person to the list. i stumbled across this post am glad i did. it can be a very lonely feeling. oh, and i might have to check out that book. sounds interesting.

[tvbeckytv]

yep rabina, on the rare occasion i have the boy "O" i feel really rubbish. It was probably as you described for me many years ago, but now i could only describe it as just feeling horrible... not dirty or ashamed, just a bit yukky. this only lasts a few minutes now. But for sure i try to avoid the boy "O" as much as possible.
as michele said, i too only go with men and get my sexual gratification in spades without ever having a male ejaculation. (and no they arnt all pigs, some are adorable)

[Valeria]

I didn't have feelings like that, so I can't really answer this question.

I'd be interested in hearing from someone post everything who used to experience that, to see how they feel immediately after they orgasm.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

adorable pigs?

[tvbeckytv]

i think i can run with that

[Joy Carter]

After reading what you girls all go through, I see I'm in good company. Except I'm not on, or plan to take hormones. I'd like to but it wouldn't go over to well, with the SO. Anyone just on T blockers ? I know from talking to my MD, that low T leads to depression. If I recall that right.