Do you hate the "Gay" Label?

[KateSpade83]

Do you hate the "Gay" Label? As a straight crossdresser I hate being generalized as gay because then people get the wrong notion that I have sex with men, and I don't! I'd proudly admit I'm a crossdresser, but not gay! How do you feel about this?

[WildLotus29]

It wouldn't bother me if someone called me gay. I'm know that I'm straight and I'm secure with my sexuality. It's not my fault that people are so closed minded.

[pinkeverything]

I'm the same. I am waiting, with anticipation, for my SO to call and tell me to bring up some "****ty things" to wear. We're in a difficult relationship, but this week is better than last. I wore a pink shirt today..........and matching panties.

[RobertaFermina]

I don't mind the label.

Sometimes I'm quite enthusiastic about someone using it.

Sometimes I'm quite afraid.

Double-Edged Sword there....are there any other kinds ?

Roberta

[renee k]

It wouldn't bother me if someone called me gay. I'm know that I'm straight and I'm secure with my sexuality. It's not my fault that people are so closed minded.

My feelings as well, I also think that the label of being gay because you crossdress is not that prevelent anymore.

Huggs, Renee

[Roberta Llyan]

Doesn't bother me in the least. It is just a word used to define someone or something by the mind of those trying to identify that which it sees. We all use labels. So why get so uptight about them.

They have no power over us unless we give them power.

[Rachel Morley]

I hate being generalized as gay because then people get the wrong notion that I have sex with men, and I don't! I'd proudly admit I'm a crossdresser, but not gay!

That comment sounds somewhat homophobic to me! No, I am fine with it. Several of my friends are in same sex relationships and I am totally ok with people thinking I am perhaps gay even though I am straight. I can always tell them I'm not gay if they happen to come on to me, and if it's a complete stranger in the street who perhaps thinks this about me because he sees or suspects I am a crossdresser ... well who the hell cares!

[Patrice]

Doesnt bother me in the slightest, in fact I consider it something of a compliment. Some of the best, most compassionate, downright decent people I know are gay.

[AmandaM]

I don't like it. The problem with the gay label for CDers isn't that you are called "gay", it's that when they say the word they mean it like this, "you are a disgusting, sicko".

[KateSpade83]

I definitely hate the gay label because of homophobia, being ostracized for it, job discrimination / problems, and that it'll turn off most women.

[Pink Person]

I'm not gay, unless you count being in love with myself. By that standard, most people are gay.

P.S. I am not opposed to having sex with men, but prefer women. I hate having to explain my gender preference to both, so have not been very sexually active.

[RobynP]

I don't know if I hate the gay label... but I dislike it a LOT! It does not describe my sexual orientation at all... It's like calling a gay person "straight" because they don't crossdress or because they are very masculine.

Peace,
Robyn

[gagirl1]

i don't like being mistaken for something i'm not and meeting ignorant people. however, i see it as an opportunity to educate them and show them that there is a lot more to crossdressing than sexual orientation. i also try to view it from their perspective. it all depends on the person though. if they are a real jerk, i will give it righ back to them. if they are curious, i will try to educate them as best i can.

[Sallee]

I don't really like it but for the uneducated or folks who just don't know, I can understand how they would mistake a CD for being gay. I don't like to assume any ones sexuality because 1st it is none of my business and 2nd I don't care. I guess if I wasn't a CD and I met some I might assume they have sex with men because that is what women do for the most part. therefore gay. But still best not to assume anything and take people at face value not who they get it on with

[NatalieBliss]

I know some people will just go nuts hearing about "hating the gay label" Personally I understand the general confusion. To a guy who has never had the desire to wear women's clothes the leap to homosexual isn't all that great. Women wear women's clothes and women tend to like men. A generalization for sure, but one that comes with some data to back it up, as most of them are. A cliche is a cliche for a reason, that is what makes it a cliche, not a hard and fast rule. You also have to look at the pop culture references to the world of crossdressing the "Drag Queen" rules the references. A "Drag Queen" is generally thought of as a homosexual man that wears woman's clothing: To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar; The Birdcage; Priscilla Queen of the Desert, TransAmerica... The genre of "gender confusion movies" is filled with gay men that dress as women. A slight misrepresentation of the popultaion, perhaps, but not any less valid. The population that has no interest in gender bending dosen't know anything about it. Not surprising. I don't care for auto racing so my general perception of it is "fast cars that turn left". Not a wholly representational view of the sport what with a branch of it being trucks, and then there is the whole world of formula one, where the wheel actually gets turned to the right. Not invalid, just incomplete. Anyway that just a realists two cents on the matter...

[Bev06 GG]

Hey girls,
Its just a label born out of ignorance really. Believe it or not I get that too but from the CD fraternity. They are always asking me If I a gay because I fancy my SO dressed. It did used to bother me but I guess I have just come to understand that people just dont understand something that is alien to them.
Take Care
BTW I AM NOT GAAAAAAYYYY tee hee

[gagirl1]

just wanted to add: Bev, you are incredible. can we clone you? pwetty pweeaaaassseee

[Bev06 GG]

just wanted to add: Bev, you are incredible. can we clone you? pwetty pweeaaaassseee

Awww your so cute.
Corse ya can
Bev

[gagirl1]

ok, i'll start the research.

[Sarah_Knight]

I prefer the term Gay to "Homo" "Queer" "Puffta" "Shirt-lifter" or any of the other labels applied to people by other people when they can't be bothered to understand them.
My sexuality is an ongoing journey. At one stage I would have described myself a "100% straight" and only interested in female partners. Now I acknowledge I have some feelings stirred by certain men. I shall probably never act on them, but I am not disgusted by myself or upset.

I guess I am lucky because the gay people I have met in my life have been 100% wonderful human beings, not a single jerk/idiot/timewaster or fool among them. Sadly I can't say the same for the "straight" people in my life. Ho hum! One of the coolest people I know is a Scottish guy who has been openly gay for as long as I've known him. He is clever, articulate and a top notch human being. All those things and he just happens to prefer guys ... so what!

[sandra-leigh]

In my life, I've had numerous random strangers on the street (or, much more likely, in cars) call me "fag" -- including one time when I was wearing completely stereotypical male clothes (jeans, lumberjack shirt) and had just 3 minutes before had my hair cut quite short by a very old school "man's barber". It often upset me that people were so quick to judge me and yell insults to try to hurt me.

It isn't the idea of homosexuality that bothers me: I don't remember that the idea ever bothered me. There were some "out" gay men my high school, and some people avoided them and put them down for that, but what I saw was that they were amongst the few people outside of my {small} direct circle of friends who were pleasant to me. I don't have much of a "gaydar" at all, but as an adult, the women who have taken the time to get to know me have often turned out to be lesbian. The only friend (person who really knows me) that I have come out to as a cross-dresser was lesbian when she lived in the same city (now bi); I hadn't seen her in years or even talked to her much, but when she visited the city, I knew she'd be fine with the idea, so I wore a skirt to our dinner (and I was right, she was tickled by it, and by my trust in her.) So it doesn't bother me if a stranger thinks that I'm homosexual.

But there is a difference between people thinking that I am homosexual and people yelling epitaphs at me on the street. Consider for example the word "genius": it's nice to be thought of as very smart, but when you are child and kids on the playground "spit out" the word at you, or as an adult, people in passing cars yell it out at you, those people aren't trying merely describing you or complementing you: they are trying to hurt you, and it is the obvious intent to hurt that hurts, rather than the actual choice of label hurled out. Why do people feel that they must be cruel to others??


Now, an interesting oddity in all of this, is that in the time since I started crossdressing (less than 4 years ago) and started appearing in public gender-bending or completely dressed, I haven't had even one "fag" yelled at me. I have been laughed at (but not very often).

I find that these days, cross-dressed or gender-bending, I make many more random short-term "connections" with strangers than I did before I started cross-dressing, that overall, I am more "socially accepted" even as "a guy in a skirt" than I was before I had any idea that I wanted to wear skirts. I don't know why: perhaps women somehow see me as "safer" to talk to, or perhaps they perceive "something in common" -- or perhaps I'm just smiling more.

[Shelly Preston]

I guess it will be more upsetting to hear it from people who know you but have not even tried to find out about your sexuality

The general public have not yet realised crossdressing does not automatically mean gay

[KATIE TV]

I definitely hate the gay label because of homophobia, being ostracized for it, job discrimination / problems, and that it'll turn off most women.

I for one am not that bothered if people think I am gay, I know I’m not so what label they want to use from ignorance is down to them, But in their defence it can be very confusing to those who don’t understand, I don’t have a problem with this as when I realised how much my cross dressing meant to me I wondered if I was gay myself. I even tried a gay relationship with a friend of mine (also a cross dresser) It didn’t work for either of us, He is now in a full time gay relationship and very happy, For me I now have the woman of my dreams who loves Katie. The funny thing is that some of the most unkind comments I have had about my sexuality have come from gay men who just don’t get it. As far as my more “macho” friends are concerned life got much better when I started my new relationship as showed I was not gay as I know that some were uncomfortable with that thought, As for women’s company I have never had it so good, including a lesbian couple, so I don’t agree that it puts ladies off, Finally on discrimination if I was gay here in the UK there are laws to protect gay people, but I’m not sure if they apply to TVs so being labelled gay would make me more protected. So in conclusion I really don’t care what others call me, I am happy with me so that’s really all that matters. Katie, X

[Bev06 GG]

Yes I agree with Sarah about Gays. Two of my childhood best mates were openly Gay and one of them liked to wear womens clothes believe it or not. I never had any problems with them, they still keep in touch today eventhough one of them lives in Canada and the other one is the other side of the UK. I love them to bits and always will do and like Sarah has said, they are bright intelligent articulate and wonderful human beings who accept everyone else for who they are.
Bev

[KayR]

Whilst I agree with everything said here, I think I understand the point. Here in the UK, many people still fling out the "gay" accusation as an insult. By association, being asked if we are gay is often an insult - like being asked are we say, child molestors or rapists.
I am not gay, and have no leanings in that direction. I like and respect many gay people for their sensitivity and compassion, which is not why the enquirer is asking, many a time.