I'd not do it for the fact, what if they spilled the beans innocently to their friends, then the friends turned on them because of it. You have to be careful because now you have affected their life.
I'd not do it for the fact, what if they spilled the beans innocently to their friends, then the friends turned on them because of it. You have to be careful because now you have affected their life.
Thanks for sharing this, Carol. What you say is true with any aspect of our lives that we might be reluctant to divulge to our children. In my case it is a different issue regarding my relationship with my bf, after recently having been in a long-term marriage. I told one of my sons about our relationship, and asked him if he wanted to meet my bf. I gave my son the choice. He is still dealing with the pain of the divorce. He said he was not ready to meet him right now, but he knows he will be in the future.Originally Posted by carolinoakland
With the Cding, I think it is a good idea to be honest and talk about it when the child is old enough to comprehend, with an explanation that most people do not understand the concept, and ask if she would like to see daddy wearing a dress. Then respect the child enough to let her decide.
Although we are powerful influences in our children's lives, we must keep in mind that the society they need to learn to live in comfortably also has an impact, and each child has his own capacity to accept what is considered to be outside the norm.
Reine
Dressing was never that important to me when it came to my children. I never dressed around them. They needed their Dad. Later on, when they were grown, I told them about it when they could understand what was going on.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Just out of curiosity, is there any documented facts that shows cross-dressing causing damage to any child? Not theory's, assumptions, psycho babble BS or "The Data supports this" crap. Just straight, actual, hard copy, documented facts or incidents.
Drumming, My other hobby
When I first dressed in front of my family I just told my kids that I'm going to play dressups , just a fun game , a few giggles at first then settled.I wouldn't think it would harm her as long as she was informed of whet was going on when she could understand it.
Angie
[SIZE=3]Merinda[/SIZE]
Quickie anecdote time -
My father was a crossdresser, I'm a pansexual trans woman with slight interest in kinging, but otherwise more of a tomboy femme, and rather attracted to gender variants (zomg, confewjun! amirite?)
What that line of description doesn't say though, is that he had tremendous amounts of self-loathing over it, is very macho in his daily life, often crossing the line into misogynyst territory, and he purged A LOT. He never dressed in front of his three kids, and only disclosed to me when I turned 18 because I had come out to mom a few months earlier and it somehow reached his ears (my parents had been divorced for 9-10 years then and he lived 4 hours away up north). In fact, as a teen, I was more exposed to homophobia and transphobia from him than I was to "gender confusion".
His father is a raging homophobe, a complete misogynyst, with deep set machismo, he slept around despite being a jealous man, and he beat up my father as a youth, he threatened to have him committed a few times for cding.
Despite this backstory, my father disclosed to me as part of his "man the kids up" strategy after my coming out as trans reached his ears. When he figured out it didn't work out, about two months after I began hrt, he just told his 22yo daughter "You're making a mistake, you'll be a freak, have full confidence in me or I don't consider myself your father* anymore."
Confusion?
I don't know - but I doubt it couldn't help potentially gender variant kids to not be forced in the hetero/cis-normative binary growing up (no, seriously parents, I mean it, this is a plan for anxiety crises galore) - and if they're not, well, bigotry is not innate
*not that he didn't do a piss poor job at being one
Last edited by AngharadD; 08-03-2008 at 09:57 AM.
I have no kids so I'm guessing here. I think that at such a young age kids will accept anything you tell them. The difficulty comes later on when you have to explain to them why society doesn't accept a man dressing as a woman. Add to that explaining why they shouldn't mention it to their friends because their friends will make fun of them for something their father does. How do you explain something that makes no sense? Kids will make fun of each other just because thier name is different.
Gen
When my son was a baby I would dress in his presence but when he was around the age of two I stopped doing it. Somehow I felt it was wrong to do this and did not want to confuse him. When he was nine my ex outed me to him during the divorce. He handled it well and when he turned 16 we disscussed it and he told me knew this for years and accepted it. I never did dress in front of him or his friends but he knew that I did it. He had the level of maturity to handle this at an early age and I respect him for that. He is 25 now and has a son of his own. I am very proud of him.
Translation please
AngharadD wrote: "...I'm a pansexual trans woman with slight interest in kinging, but otherwise more of a tomboy femme, and rather attracted to gender variants (zomg, confewjun! amirite?"
Could someone please translate this?
Thanks
I'm a transsexual woman (i.e. when the doctor saw me at birth he rudely said "it's a boy" instead of "it might be a boy"
My daughter is almost 5. She thinks she understands everything, but she doesn't. How can you explain CDing to someone that age? You can't. Unless you are out to the world, then keep it from them, they will tell all of their friends. I suspect the problem will not be the kids, but maybe the parents and how they may limit their kids time with yours. I doubt the kids will care, considering what they are exposed to on TV these days. Your ex might be a problem unless she is okay with it.
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