"Are you a crossdresser?"

[Magickman]

Every now and then, a woman will ask me, "Are you a crossdresser?"

And I always deny it. "No," I say, with a look of incredulity on my face,"Why ever would you think that?" Thinking then, What? Haven't you ever seen a man in a skirt and high heels before?

"Then why," she might ask, "are you wearing women's clothes?"

"These aren't women's clothes," I reply. "They are mine. Do you like them?"

This same sort of scene has played out many times, again and again. I resent people trying to pigeon hole me into a stereotypical cofiguration from their own imagination.

I am an individual, possessed of unique characteristics, and not a stereotype.

Which leads me to ask, How do you respond when a stranger asks if you are a crossdresser?

[Karren H]

When someone asks me if the womens clothing I am buying are for me I say "of coarse they are" and smile..... and especially since they saw me coming out of the dressing room with an arm full of dresses.... Most could care less... and I always get compliments on my selections of clothing..... plus it's relly fun to see their reaction.... lol

[monalisa]

I politely say Yes I am and proud to be one.

[Holly]

My response is usually, "Why yes I am... and I'm having the time of my life!"

[vikki2020]

No one has ever asked me, but I like your view on the subject!

[Sandra]

My SO replies " No I'm me!"

[valenstein]

Nobody has ever asked me face to face (unless they were tg and asking if i was TS or TV). I have never liked the word "crossdresser", so I'm not sure how I would answer. I suppose I would answer them with a question asking them to define what they are asking. On a few occasions people have asked me where I got what I was wearing and I truthfully say (in those specific cases) that I borrowed it from my girlfriend. Usually that refers to a jacket or t-shirt, but when I answer that way, they don't seem to be too surprised or taken aback.

[Carly D.]

When I'm in a store looking at different clothes I wonder if people are thing if these are for me.. truth is I don't look like a cross dresser when in male mode because I look like.. not fem at all... and I think there could be a lot more like me that buy the occasional fem wear clothing because they do in fact cross dress.. I like the attitude that the skirt and heels are yours and that makes them mens wear.. the old "cross dresser" label seems to be a must for everybody, if someone is wearing something that women wear he must be a cross dresser.. shoes are shoes, they don't know if it is a mans foot or womans foot in it and the same goes for the rest of the clothing.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that women can wear mens clothes without a second thought and men can't wear womens clothes or we are branded as weirdo or something, and why?? I don't know why there is that double standard.. I wish I could wear in public what I wear at home when no one is around..

[RobertaFermina]

I tell them "yes", then wait graciously for a stream of questions....often the usual suspects.

Roberta

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]I work dressed daily and provide the perfect opportunity for people to ask such questions. Rarely do I get asked such a question because it is just tacky. (my first word was "stupid" but that seemed a bit strong) and I do tend to answer stupid questions with a question. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Do you ever walk up to a person and ask them questions like that? I would think that most of us on this forum would have more courtesy and more tact than to simply ask a point blank question like that. We may work it into a conversation but...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I had a really fat, sloven woman ask me that once and my reply was "Are you really as fat as you look?" She "harumped" me and told me I was very rude. I simply thanked her and went on with my business. Don't ever attack me without a good follow up plan. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Three days later she came back into the salon where she had asked the question and walked up to me and apologized for asking me if I was a crossdresser. She realized it was none of her business and was simply coureous. So I said "Yes, I am" and left.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]If I am buying female clothes in male mode and someone looks at me funny, I just look them in the eye and tell them the clothes are for me, thank you and smile. This tends to happen in thrift stores a lot when you are buying 20 items and the woman next in line is looking at everything that the cahsier is ringing up, then looks at you, then back at the next item. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Just me,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Tami[/SIZE]

[sparks]

If asked politely I would answer in check. What's wrong with settling anothers curiosity. I've generally only run into rude comments myself. Though I was shopping with a friend in the dress department in the thrift store and a woman held up a dress to my friend and replied this might be the look your after.
So the world is full of different people. If you don't want to feel pidgeon holed as a stereotype. Let them know. Alot of people I thought were stuck up and rude turned out to be great friends.

[Tina Dixon]

No they haven't, they run in fear of the large man in a dress

[Karen_Ski]

You should tell them you are not a crossdresser but rather a happy dresser, the only tim I get cross is when I can't dress as I please.

[Phoebe Reece]

I always say "Yes" and follow up with some explanations. I take it as an opportunity to educate the public about us. If more of us would do that it would help us all be accepted more.

[Sarah...]

You should tell them you are not a crossdresser but rather a happy dresser, the only tim I get cross is when I can't dress as I please.

Lol!! A happy dresser - thanks Karen, that made me laugh!

Sarah...

[DonnaT]

Seems to me to be stupid question if I'm already dressed in women's clothes.

I guess I'd ask, "Is that a retorical question?"

Or answer, "Nooo, I prefer women's clothes. I wouldn't dare crossdress in men's clothes."

[Linda C]

I need to get the guts up! I bought a bra and panties the other day and the woman was so cool - about me buying it for my wife.
I am not sure if she would have been the same if I had told her they were for me???

[Sarah_Knight]

Approaching the Empire Theatre in Liverpool ... looking wonderful and ready for a great night of ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, a group of girls shouted "Hey love, you look gorgeous!" and laughed.
"Thank you!" I said, did a neat curtsy "and so do you!" ...

[carolinoakland]

I tell them right up front, Yes I am, and quite good at it too. And I love the happy dresser too! Carol

[Sally2005]

Not quite, but a friend's girl friend a long time ago asked me "Do you wax your face?"... I thought it to be a rude question because I never had a lot of facial hair and it is one of those manhood things and I was insecure about the who I am and whole CDing issue. Now understanding that CDing is part of who I am I wish I -could- wax my face.

I believe people are not tring to by rude. The response should be 'why do you ask?', or 'I'm not going to answer such a question" rather than a counter attack because they probably won't understand.

[Bev06 GG]

Tamarav has a point though. When you think about it the question is quite a rude one. My fella got asked whilst at work collecting insurrance premiums. The lady who asked him was a beautician and she said she could tell by his manicured nails and his shaped eyebrows.
He then came home from work and told me that she had offered to do a makeover for him. I remember feeling very put out because I did all his stuff for him (maybe a touch of the greeneyed monster) but I did think she was being very cheeky.
Bev

[Nicole Erin]

I just tell them yes, altho not too many women have asked. Then come the usual questions...

Once in a while a man will ask something to the effect but in a different way -
"Are you going to wear those panties?"

[tvbeckytv]

hmm, well i do have the same philosophy, in that they are my clothes, not womens. An unfortunate fact is that they were designed for women though, so really its hard to argue against....unless of course you wear mens skirts.
It really isnt something that should fill you with resent though...really!!

[trannie T]

I've never been asked. When I am in male mode I look pretty macho, when I'm en femme I look. . .pretty macho.

[deja true]

Well nobody's ever asked 'cos I've only been out shopping while dressed once. People at the shoe store, and the makeup counter were very polite, but I could tell they could tell. I think they were as much amused as any thing else.

But I have volunteered the information a few times while just dressed as what's-his-name, (at a MAC store no problem obviously), at a terrific shoe store where I tried on about 10 pairs of shoes and boots with the help of a very polite SA, and at a Victoria's Secret where I got to have a long educational talk with a manager ( she was interested enough that she helped me personally for a half an hour without pawning me off on a SA). So all in all, a number of very good experiences and no bad ones!