Can we get a consensus of what passing is?

[Nicki B]

It seems clear to me that different people here define passing very differently.

But, until we can agree (at least by a majority vote) on what we actually mean by passing, it seems rather pointless to have the discussion on why or if it matters?

So, I've started a poll with some possibilities - if you don't see one that you can agree with, shout and we'll see if we can get the list expanded.


Note - The poll is intended to be open to everyone who has membership here.

[celeste26]

To me I would go anywhere and do anything I would otherwise do and not even be questioned as to whether or not I was my appearant gender.

[docrobbysherry]

I voted for number one, figuring to be the odd man(lady) out. I would have bet most would vote for the LAST choice! Shows u what I know!

Maybe the poll #'s will change with time?

[joann07]

#2 is my choice.
I go pretty much anywhere please because I present myself very well.
It doesn't matter whether a place is labled "TG friendly" or not (not that it's a bad thing) because I am very comfortable in how I conduct myself in public.
It's so nice to be treated like lady because, in the other person's eyes, they perceive me as one and, to me, that's what makes passing and blending in so satisfying.

Hugs!

[curse within]

It would have to be being comfortable and accepted, I feel if you have that you have lifted a barrier closed the gap of people thinking what you should be compared to being what you are. Of course looking and acting the part really helps as well in which I cannot do tough one this poll

[Sandra Dunn]

As long as I'm not recognized as who I am when in butch mode, hey I'm good with that. My size and build pretty much says I'm either a very masculine woman or a man in fem mode. I do get a lot of nice comments about what I'm wearing, the way my make up is done and my presentation.

[Princess Chantal]

(as your preferred gender)??????
my preferred gender is male, my genetic gender is male
so "passing" to me in this case is being recognized as male and not be recognized as a female (doesn't matter if I am portraying a feminine look and mannerisms)

[KayleeAllison]

I voted for number one, to me "passing" means that if I'm walking down the street fully dressed, most people don't think "crossdresser", they think "girl". Most people, not all. If I were out and about and 9 out of 10 people thought "girl", I'd consider I were passing. If it were 2 out of 10, I'm not passing. I think passing and being comfortable with not passing are two different things...

For me the struggle with going out more hasn't been passing, but being comfortable with not passing. I'm fairly tall, six foot, so the very very very few times I've been out I had a lot of attention, and could tell when it registered that I wasn't a girl. Really, it wasn't even the height, but probably more that I'm thinking about it. Confidence plays a big part in passing, I'm still working on that. But I've decided to go out *much* more in the future, whether I pass or not.

[Karren H]

I didn't vote.... mainly because passing to me doesn't mean a thing.... I wear what I want and go where I want and no one cares..... I doubt I pass as a female.... I probably do get noticed..... I just could care less what other people think of the way I dress....

[Lora Olivia]

I voted, and I just had to vote the way I felt and tried to express in the other thread pretty comfy in 99% of situations and accepted as fem in 99.5 % of the same

[linnea]

Interesting question, Nikki. I doubt that there is a consensus, but the various points of view are interesting. I'm convinced that passing starts with a person's being comfortable with herself; then she can achieve more of the things that are necessary for blending, being accepted, and being recognized as a person of the gender she is presenting.
I know that that was the case with my most recent CD adventure: going swimming in the pool at the motel where I was staying. Once I decided that I felt good and confident about the swimming suit and how I looked, everything else just seemed to work--taking short dips, sun bathing (outdoor pool), etc.
But my body was more exposed in that situation than at any other time of my CD life, so there was much more to worry about regarding being "read." All that I wore was some make-up, a wig, and my swimming suit. From the other pool users' points of view, I don't know if they thought that I was passing or not. Certainly no one challenged me about it.
Thanks for asking the question.

[Phyliss]

By being comfortable as you present yourself, you're not taken as being of your "birth sex" and are accepted as simply another lady going about her business. In short, not being noticed, ( AKA blending)
Self confidence is the biggest key to all.
People see what they want to see. If I present as female, and am confident in my presentation , 99.9 % of people won't even "see" me.
Should I be "out and about" in a mini and 5" heels at a place where that attire is "out of place" even for a REAL GG of course I expect to be "seen" and "clocked".

[Bev06 GG]

Oh good post Nicki, I know I'm not allowed to vote but if I could I'd have gone with number 2 with number 3 as a close second. Number 1 would be great but a tad unrealistic seen as someone once thought I was a boy and had to take my word for it that i was not, and a female friend of mine admits that she looks like a fella and even sounds like one (she's not butch either).
Bev

[Jennifer_G]

Hi

I popped into the motorway services (M1 London Gateway) this morning dressed as Jennifer although I was fully dressed including wig I had no makeup at all.

Did I pass?

Well to some people obviously NOT, as although I shaved beard shadow was apparent.
What was amazing though were how many people did not notice at all because they were too busy doing their own thing. There were a couple of people who were no more than 5 or 6 feet away from me and I got no reaction.

Based on this I'm not sure how to vote.
Can I vote for them all???

OK! just edited and gone for number 2 !!

[victoriamwilliams1]

For me it is acceptance even though at time I have been mistaken for a tall GG which is fine by me.

[Kieron Andrew]

Oh good post Nicki, I know I'm not allowed to vote but if I could I'd have gone with number 2 with number 3 as a close second. Number 1 would be great but a tad unrealistic seen as someone once thought I was a boy and had to take my word for it that i was not, and a female friend of mine admits that she looks like a fella and even sounds like one (she's not butch either).
Bev

why are you not allowed to vote, its not a mtf poll only , its about mtf issues that anyone can have a take on

[Shannen]

To me passing means that you can "pass by" someone and they will not realize that you are not your birth gender.

Also it could be used as in "pass the inspection test".

If a closer inspection of you means you "fail to pass the inspection test", then did you pass for awhile? That would be blending in my book, which is different.

I'm glad we will finally have this settled soon!!!!

[Tomara]

Hi I think it all starts with feeling comfortable with yourself.

Tomara

[Nicki B]

#2 is my choice.
....It's so nice to be treated like lady because, in the other person's eyes, they perceive me as one

By being comfortable as you present yourself, you're not taken as being of your "birth sex" and are accepted as simply another lady going about her business.

Aren't both of those answers actually the first option, then, NOT the second???

I know I'm not allowed to vote

The poll is intended to be open to everyone who has membership here.

Yes Bev, you are allowed - I'm trying to get a view we can all agree on..

why are you not allowed to vote, its not a mtf poll only , its about mtf issues that anyone can have a take on

It was intended to be for ftms as well as mtfs (that's the way I tried to word it) - unless the guys don't think passing matters, as a concept?




I'm not trying to say whether passing is important, here, or asking if you pass - I'm simply asking if we can agree what it is..

[Rachel Morley]

Being completely treated as the gender I am presenting as.

(if they do actually know ... I'd rather they didn't tell me that they know. Happiness is not being reminded )

[MJ]

Being both comfortable and accepted. for who i am. forgive me but passing is veary hard ... i don't bother to try any more. instead i just be myself that way people can take me ..or leave me .. there choice

[CD Susan]

I voted for #2. When I am out dressed I want only to 'blend in' with all the other faces in the crowd. I do not seek attention or desire compliments. Nor do I want others to look at me and think 'man in a dress'. I only want the level of confidence that I show to be enough that I am percieved as the female that I am presenting myself as and that is all.

[Jilmac]

I voted for comfortable and acceped because I'm comfortable with Jill and If I'm accepted, I pass, regardless if I'm read or not.

[Nicki B]

I voted for #2. When I am out dressed I want only to 'blend in' with all the other faces in the crowd.

But again - is that passing as your desired gender?

..enough that I am percieved as the female that I am presenting myself as and that is all.

Isn't that #1?


People are still talking about themselves - not what is the meaning of 'passing'?

[JaytoJillian]

Totally a toss-up between 1 & 2 for me. I mean, geez, I don't want to go through the entire process of going from Jay to Jillian and have no one notice me, yet, I don't want to be looked upon for too long, because my gender will quickly betray me. I guess I want the cake and I want to eat it, too.