Questions after a great night out.....

[Jamie14]

So, I had another great experience out (see Out and About- "Lucky Seven") but i seem to always end the evening with questions unanswered such as:

1) I went out to a "gay bar", My friends and I think I looked great....and yet i think because of my preoccupation with my height (prob 6' 3" with hair and heels) that I stuck out. Well it could have been just me and I was dressed kind of nice compared to most everybody else there but part of me wonders what people think when they look over at me- wow, she's tall or that's a guy, isnt it? I know what many of you are thinking- gay bar nobody cares and who cares what others think and just be comfortable with yourself and have fun....

2) How come there weren't more crossdressers there? I was sure hoping to see some sisters out and about...maybe they were waiting to come out for the late show...

3) Why am I so obsessed with "passing"? I have this thing now where I want to walk around more, go out, be seen, and try to determine how well I blend....don't get me wrong, I'm still haing a blast going out and doing new things...I wish I could get feedback from passerbyers- like a quick survey!!


Anyways, we had dinner, hit a couple of shops, and then the 9:30 show at the club. I'm sitting here with my beautiful, professionally airbrushed makeup not wanting to let it end. What fun this little hobby of ours can be......

Love, Jamie

[RobertaFermina]

paraphrasing the Unitarian Hymnbook....

sometimes to question truly is an answer.

is a rose

[Katrina82]

Ya know i'm new to CDing and wanted to go to a gay bar to meet other girls like me. Just as you had done. I would think the same thing if i went. I would also be dissapointed if I didn't meet any. I think what it all comes down to is a need to be accepted. We're trying to be someone we're not, at least by birth. So we need validation of this person that we have created. Just try and figure out why you CD first. For you, or for them...that may be hard to figure out. It might be both. You can probably get your answer for most these questions whenyou can answer that question. ok hun. Hope this helps.

[Jamie14]

I know what you're saying. And I do question things, everything re: of how I am dressed. Some would say tht I look too deeply at things and have trouble enjoying the moment...........Jamie

[sterling12]

1.) Because most CD's aren't gay! 2.) Because most CD's don't ever get out of the house. 3.) The one's that do....tend to all go to one or two places where they know it's CD friendly.

I live in a Metro Area of 3 million, on a Saturday Night at the KNOWN CD hangout, I might see 30 or 40 Gurls. I think it's just a matter of visibility, just aren't that many of us who are really "out."

So if you want to see and get to know others, join a Group, find the usual
CD Hangout. Wish I could tell you that a lot more of us were visible, but not yet! It's going to take a few years for tolerance and acceptance. Then, I think you will see a lot more of us "hangin' out."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[debbeelee1]

I've only been out a handfull of times and I'm not very passable (being 6'-2-1/2" doesn't help!). My SO and I and sometimes some friends and step daughter go out to gay bars when I'm dressed en femme. It's not a matter of passing for me, just being accepted and feeling safe is important! I do belong to a crossdressing group and have attended a girls night out once and hope to do it more and get to know them better!

[Julogden]

1) I went out to a "gay bar", My friends and I think I looked great....and yet i think because of my preoccupation with my height (prob 6' 3" with hair and heels) that I stuck out. Well it could have been just me and I was dressed kind of nice compared to most everybody else there but part of me wonders what people think when they look over at me- wow, she's tall or that's a guy, isnt it? I know what many of you are thinking- gay bar nobody cares and who cares what others think and just be comfortable with yourself and have fun....

Hi Jamie,

I know what you mean about your height, as I'm way taller, 6'5" in my bare feet, but I didn't let that stop me from going out to bars back in my younger years. Nowadays, I just don't care to do the bar scene any more, but it has nothing to do with my height.

Anyway, I always had a good time, and I knew I wasn't passing. I think the people around you will cue in on how you're feeling about yourself. If you project that you're happy with yourself, others will be happy with you. In a setting like that, don't worry about whether you're passing or not.

Of course, there will always be a few who won't be friendly, but most will.

Carol

[shannonsilk]

1) People are actually expecting to see trans and CD's at a gay bar. I found that I was far more likely to be clocked there than anywhere else. A nd I was dressed up more than most, not all, as they were wearing jeans and T's. Also--bars are places where people actually check people out. That's what it's about.

3) You're less likely to not pass, more likely to blend, in the other world. everyone is in their own world.

[Genifer Teal]

So, I had another great experience out

1) I went out to a "gay bar", . . . because of my preoccupation with my height (prob 6' 3" with hair and heels) that I stuck out.

2) How come there weren't more crossdressers there?

3) Why am I so obsessed with "passing"? . . . I wish I could get feedback from passerbyers- like a quick survey!!

Love, Jamie

Statement 1 answers question 2. Now if you had gone to a tranny bar, you might be asking where ar are all the gay people? lol. Gays like drag because it's fun and campy. They often don't understand our pretending (and sometimes wanting) to be a woman. They are men, they know it and want to be with other men. There is not as much connection between our comunities as you might think.

I like statemnt 3. What a grat idea. Why not take a survey? What a great way to start a conversation. You should ask some people what their initial preception of you is. Maybe I'll try that myself.

As for the height thing, get over it. I am way taller than you and it has never mattered. With the right attitude it can make life easier. If anyone is staring, just assume it is because your height - and that is all. Height gets you noticed - not read. People will notice you because of your height so get used to it. It is not necessarily because you are a man in a dress. Now if you are built like a linebacker, height may not be as welcome. Fortunately I am tall and skinny - very skinny. At 6' 4" naturally, I still wear heels all the time. Usually 5", sometimes more. You just have to work it and have the right attitude.

Gen

[LisaElizabeth]

OK,
Let's get this straight...... Not all gay bars have t-girls!!!!
You will have to find a group or other crossdressers in your area and they will let you know what bars are favorites so you can meet other gurls.
I have been in chicago's 'Boy's Town' a number of times and I think other than the group I was with there was only 1 other bar that any t-girls in it.
Now if I go to the suburbs and hit 'Hunter's', it is a popular hangout for us girls!! Lot's of girls there on fri and sat and one Sun afternoon a month.
Why?? No idea, other than it just is the spot to go and hang out.
SO look around and ask a few questions, you may find you just went to the wrong bar!!
Lisa E

[Vicky_Scot]

So, I had another great experience out (see Out and About- "Lucky Seven") but i seem to always end the evening with questions unanswered such as:

1) I went out to a "gay bar", My friends and I think I looked great....and yet i think because of my preoccupation with my height (prob 6' 3" with hair and heels) that I stuck out. Well it could have been just me and I was dressed kind of nice compared to most everybody else there but part of me wonders what people think when they look over at me- wow, she's tall or that's a guy, isnt it? I know what many of you are thinking- gay bar nobody cares and who cares what others think and just be comfortable with yourself and have fun....

2) How come there weren't more crossdressers there? I was sure hoping to see some sisters out and about...maybe they were waiting to come out for the late show...

3) Why am I so obsessed with "passing"? I have this thing now where I want to walk around more, go out, be seen, and try to determine how well I blend....don't get me wrong, I'm still haing a blast going out and doing new things...I wish I could get feedback from passerbyers- like a quick survey!!


Anyways, we had dinner, hit a couple of shops, and then the 9:30 show at the club. I'm sitting here with my beautiful, professionally airbrushed makeup not wanting to let it end. What fun this little hobby of ours can be......

Love, Jamie

And you worry........I am 6'2" in stocking soles.

Get to around 6'6" in heels and wig...........depending on size of heels and wig height of course.

Tall girls rock.

Xx Vicky xX

[Jamie14]

Thanks for the replies.

I'm afraid in the Jacksonville, FL area there really isnt anywhere other than where I went that CD's are comfortable at- this place is pretty much it. I wish I would have had time to head down to the Orlando area where there is an active group of CD's and a few good places to go out that some of them have told me about- just couldn't make that trip.

I know some of you are more comfortable (and lots taller) than me. I guess that part takes time as well. And I understand the comment about getting clocked and read at a gay bar- especially being better dressed than most there. Guess I shouldn't have used passing at this club as a barometer.

Sure was a fun night- kind of funny seeing some of these incredible illusionists and finding them so attractive- they made some amazing women!!


Thanks again.......Jamie