S/O's and how valued it is to have a supportive one

[curse within]

I have been reading a lot of threads about how some ladies S/Os are supportive to them, needless to say it makes me jealous to no end but yet happy for them and gives hope that someday I to may have one.
I did at one point have one ( now seperated) I told my S/O of my issues 3 years prior to our wedding , she was just okay with it not shocked well indifferent was it. We even shared a little dressing up on our wedding night even to this day she holds that against me . My wife just put up with what she called my little issue she throws a lot of "my issues" in my face now she even told an person in which she cheated on me with of "my issues". We have seperated 3 times now in the last 10 years because of " my issues" and everytime we get back togather I tell her "my issues" will not go away! But she still insisitited that it didn't bother her. During this last go around I was not dressing at all maybe sneak a pair of undies under my P.J.'s but that was it then she hits me with the bomb and said she couldn't be with me due to "my issues". I will never go back to her I need to be accepted and not live another 20 years of my life in quilt and shame Hang on to her ladies she is very special.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Sounds like she has her own issues she needs to deal with...always takes two tot ango my friend...

[curse within]

I have just been relizing that myself for the past year ..she does and she takes it out on me or my issues.

[hskrchic]

I'm sorry to hear things aren't working out for you...but hang in there you will find someone. Speaking as a supportive SO there are a few of us out there...just be open and honest right from the start, don't hide it. At first I thought I was just allowing my bf to express himself but the more I experienced and learned the more I enjoyed it as well. Be sure to be clear to a g/f what the dressing does for you, help her to understand. It really goes a long way to help get rid of the sterotypes and misconceptions. Just remember to keep doing what makes you happy....life is too short!!

[KayR]

Deepest sympathy on your relationship problems. Guilt-transference seems to be the way many people deal with challenging situations. You seem to now realise this, so why not get on with the rest of your life and leave your ex-partner to her hangups?
There are far worse things a spouse can be apart from a CDer.

[curse within]

Well said Kay , I agree and I have moved on I think she even went as far as to expose me to her family.I really don't care anymore who she tells I am tired of hideing who I am ,she had a chance to a great relationship the way I feel is she blew it . She will be back but for the first time in 25 years I am going to tell her we are done! We can remain distant friends for the kids sake but 2 of the 3 kids I have are over 21 and the one that isn't is living with me.I wish her the best of luck in her next relationship as well as who ever she is with .

[Angie G]

Sorry She has issues I'd let her go also. I wish you could find what I and others have maybe you can There out there. Don't give up hun.
Angie

[curse within]

thank you Angie..I will I have decided to take some me time first havn't had that in a while and this past month I have made some good time doing it. Got to do things I have not done in a long time and feeling good about it to thanks to this place and people like you that are here helping me as well.

[KayR]

As part of you closing one door and opening another, may I suggest that you give yourself a nicer name than "curse within"? If you haven't chosen one already, it can be really fun to explore all the possibilities.

Just as an opinion, your avatar suggests to me a classic "biblical" name like Sarah or Ruth.
But what on Earth do I know?

[yms]

She sounds like my first wife - complete with a full set of matching baggage. For what it's worth, I was devastated when she left for all of about a week. Then I felt like I had taken my first breath after being under water for 15 years.

I have now been separated from her for as long as we had been together and it has been reduced to little more than a bad dream.

Every day, you get further and further away from it.

Good luck. Don't look back.

[Sandra]

Don't give up on finding another GG who will accept you there is more of us out there. Just make sure to be honest and upfront from the begining. it's better than telling someone a few years down the line, and having all those feelings and emotions shattered.

[CaRenaeTX]

My Exwife's opinion was "It's wrong, it's immoral, it's unnatural get over it"

Needless to say that was not fun. My wife now is highyl supportive. There are those out there that understand, and can adapt, and those that cannot..

[Tina B.]

Second time around can be great, first wife gone in 3 years, secound wife has known about my little issues for around 27 years, and is my greatest support, best friend, and a great help in advice for make-up tips and wardrobe help. and she can buy things in my size (which is not even close to her size) even when I am feeling inscure.
They are out there and can be very loving, knowing you have enough trust in them, to share your secret little issues with them, rather than hide and lie to them.
Tina B.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi there.
I dont know what to call you because somehow it doesn't seem right to call you Curse, However, I have to agree with what Sherri said in as much as it sounds like your wife had a few issues herself. Throwing your CDing back at you everytime she makes a mistake is a very poor excuse for her behaviour.

I would also echoe what the other GGs have said, there are a few of us out there who dont have any problems with the CDing so hang on in there. I am sure if you are honest and up front with a potential partner from the word go, you will eventually meet someone who will accept you for who you are and not for who she thinks you ought to be.
Good luck
Bev

[Vicky_Scot]

S/O's and how valued it is to have a supportive one ?

I do not think you can put a value on having a supportive S/O.

I myself have a supportive wife and I know how blessed and lucky I am.

Xx Vicky xX

[Ashley Lyn]

The urge to CD isn't going away... Been there, tried that, and spent a lot of $$$ rebuilding 'trashed' wardrobes to please 'indifferent' or non-supportive SO's..

Was upfront with my supportive SO, about two months into our relationship.. It has been nothing but 'wonderful' since then.. I was worried at first, even embarrassed at times, but have come to the conclusion that a totally supportive SO is the 'only' way to go.. Realistically, I don't 'pass', but we do go for rides, and walking in remote areas.. almost had a heart attack when she pulled up in front of a local convenience store, with me in the passengers seat 'fully dressed'... WHAT A TRIP!!! I believe I was wearing the outfit then, that I'm wearing in my avatar.. WHEW!

There are many understanding GG's out there... Hold in there; you'll find one.. Promise!

[curse within]

The urge to CD isn't going away... Been there, tried that, and spent a lot of $$$ rebuilding 'trashed' wardrobes to please 'indifferent' or non-supportive SO's..

Was upfront with my supportive SO, about two months into our relationship.. It has been nothing but 'wonderful' since then.. I was worried at first, even embarrassed at times, but have come to the conclusion that a totally supportive SO is the 'only' way to go.. Realistically, I don't 'pass', but we do go for rides, and walking in remote areas.. almost had a heart attack when she pulled up in front of a local convenience store, with me in the passengers seat 'fully dressed'... WHAT A TRIP!!! I believe I was wearing the outfit then, that I'm wearing in my avatar.. WHEW!

There are many understanding GG's out there... Hold in there; you'll find one.. Promise!

I have to say THANK YOU ALL, I have never had this much support being in the closet all my life, I wish I have joined this place earlier in life . The nick name however is just what I have made for myself, you see WITH not being opened and haveing to HIDE CDing has made it a curse within me . I also feel to place myself with a femme name would be haveing a second personality an ALTER EGO one could say in which I do not have, I am me requardless of the clothing I am wearing . I do however respect those who do not agree with the nick but then again what is in a name right? If it bothers you ladies that I have this nick I would be more than happy to change it , in fact I would ask anyone to start a new thread make it a poll if you like on if the name should be changed .The last thing I would want to do is offened anyone over this nick that wasn't my goal when I created it.

[KayR]

Hi
No! that wasn't why I suggested that you change your name! Why should I be offended - or anyone else, for that matter? I just thought that you would be making that symbolic first step "into the light", so to speak. I apologise if I gave you the impression that you should change your name for anyone but yourself.
Me and my big mouth!

[curse within]

Oh no please don't apologise, I am always open to any topic and never offened well for the most part I appreciate your imput as to this is why I am here ..Thanks again