why would people relate crossdresser to gay

[marso2584]

hi all...

i am like you all CD
enjoying crossdress

but on the other hand i am just like the average boy down the street

just that sometimes i feel like getting pretty...
or wanted to get the passing looks...




What i not understand is,
why people tends to relate crossdresser to gay.

Because although i am straight
i know some friends who turn out to be gay
(but they are good friends to me also,
I can be friend with anyone no matter they are straight
or gay or less, to me good friend is good friend)

The thing is, all my friends that are gay,
they would wearing cloth like normal people
none of them crossdress.


Than i watch TV
the show queer eye for a straight guy (forgot how to spell)
also the gay host wear like normal guy,




So i not understand why people related crossdresser to gay?

[jenalex]

So i not understand why people related crossdresser to gay?

because they're confused

[Kieron Andrew]

uneducated

[Empress Lainie]

When I told people I was trans the first thing I was asked is:

"Are you gay?" even my son.

I never liked men at all, and am now a transwoman lesbian.

[Shelly Preston]

Well to explain it in its simpliest form

They see an MTF CD wanting to look like a woman

Women like men therefore a an MTF CD must like men and as a result be gay

Most of them dont take the time to learn

But Kieron is correct uneducated

[yms]

I think it's the other way around.

In the past, any man who behaved in any way effeminate was believed to be gay. They were called a pansy, or referred to as being light in the loafers, or limp-wristed. Some of these men were gay, some were not but assumed to be anyway. They didn't dress as women, at least not in the general public. But there was just something "different" about them.

I really believe that one of the reasons homosexuality has become more accepted is that the gay community was able to do away with this image of the effeminate gay man, the "screaming queen," and replace it with a more masculine image of the hot stud.

I just think that for a long time, un-masculine men were assumed to be gay. And there's something about man not being masculine that bothers people.

[CaRenaeTX]

I blame drag queens for this, seriously. Most peoples first exposure to a male in female clothing comes from Jerry Springer or some News report on a Gay Pride parade.

Hell, my wife, as supportive of my CD'ing as she is, still thinks that I will one day transition to female then leave her for a man.

[CaptLex]

Instead of trying to guess about it here, we should go right to the source with that question. The next time someone states that all crossdressers are gay we should ask them, "What makes you think that?"

Then we may finally learn why it's a common assumption.

[TommiTN]

I blame drag queens for this, seriously. Most peoples first exposure to a male in female clothing comes from Jerry Springer or some News report on a Gay Pride parade.

Hell, my wife, as supportive of my CD'ing as she is, still thinks that I will one day transition to female then leave her for a man.

That's true. All the general public knows about CDing is what they see on the tabloid shows and it's always the seamier side. It is the nature of news reporting that sensationalism means ratings. I also think the Gay Pride movement does little to help their own image, and by association (however erroneous) ours, with some of the things they do. It is one thing to reasonably promote your right to live as you see fit as long as you hurt no one. It is quite another to disrupt such activities a church services, etc. to try to get your point across. All it does is piss off the very people whose hearts and minds they are trying to change.

A much better way to go about it is the public outreach/educational efforts instituted by Tri Ess and other such groups.

[valenstein]

I mentioned this in a similar post: While my initial reaction to someone asking me, "are you gay" or "are all cd's gay?" might be offensive at first, if someone asks me in a non-threatening manner, why not explain to them the very points we make here?

Most people do not differentiate between drag queens and CD's (or TS people for that matter). Drag Queens being performers and media magnets, assumptions are made.

Personally, I am all for Pride parades, even if some are a bit outlandish. Some Pride parades are no more of a spectacle than parades put on by other groups. I remember seeing a few minutes of Professional Wrestling awhile back: Two muscled guys in bikini trunks were dancing around the ring (not fighting, dancing mind you), and eventually some gal in a barely there spandex outift gets into a "fight" with one of the guys and is "beaten" over the head with a chair. Yes, it is made up and not "real" in comparison to the GLBT population, but a lot of people are very into it (especially kids). If one is willing to watch a spectacle such as that (no offense to fans), I see no reason why the public can't deal with a few leather butt cheeks and some queens.

P.S. To give a more real example: Girly or not, I love UFC fighting, even when I'm in a skirt. Some people hate it, a lot of people like it, but it boils down to fighting until one person is rendered helpless. It's terribly violent, but it gets more and more popular each day. In th U.S., violence is perfectly acceptable, sexuality is not.

[Vicky_Scot]

The reason is simple IMO.

Society did not know where to put us as a group so they tagged us onto the end of the gay scene.

Hence, people assume we are gay.

Xx Vicky xX

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

The general population seems to have that way of thinking that if a guy likes anything femme,"He must be gay!" mind set. The best way is to just educate people who would ask. In guy mode, I'm totally masculine,but when dressed femme, I just let that side of me out and it feels great.

Felicity

[Sam-antha]

Well to explain it in its simpliest form

They see an MTF CD wanting to look like a woman

Women like men therefore a an MTF CD must like men and as a result be gay

Most of them dont take the time to learn

But Kieron is correct uneducated

Nothing....but nothing, can be added to this reply in my little mind.

[Emma England]

But a gay guy would not be interested in a woman or an effeminate man.

So by saying that a male to female cd must be gay makes no sense at all.

[TommiTN]

But a gay guy would not be interested in a woman or an effeminate man.

So by saying that a male to female cd must be gay makes no sense at all.

General agreement, but what about a "macho" gay guy? Would he not be interested in an effeminate man, just as a "butch" lesbian would be interested in more feminine woman"

[tvbeckytv]

General agreement, but what about a "macho" gay guy? Would he not be interested in an effeminate man, just as a "butch" lesbian would be interested in more feminine woman"

you beat me too it, i was just about to to mention the butch lesbian myself.
of course there are gay men that like effeminate men!!!!!
ande some you lot blaming queens for people thinking you are queer? sheesh, you can walk down the street and not get beaten up because of people like that!!!!!!!

oh, and as for "Society did not know where to put us as a group so they tagged us onto the end of the gay scene"...its the other way around hunni...T's tagged themselves on the coattails of the gay movement!

[dresser1974]

most people think that because we are crosdressers that we are gay for the same reason? they see drag queens and figure that you like the feel of something silky against you skin you are gay and that you like the touch of a man. myself i like the feel of a woman and look like one as well

[Bev06 GG]

Hi everyone,
Actually the general public dont know what to think. Like you have already said theyre uneducated in such matters and are likely to remain so unless someone does something about it. Seen as most CDs are either in the closet or too frightened to stand up and be counted there doesn't seem to be an end to the never ending circle of ignorance. So for the forseeable future there will be some who continue to assume that CDs are Gay.
Take care
Bev

[Julie Avery]

It all goes back to a Christmas carol....

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

You girls sure have this one nailed. The public's confusion of us is pervasive. To summarize:

o Most t girls are not gay.

o Most exposure to cd is drag queens

0 Gay guys are not attacted to drag queens.

o TG girls and not attraced to drag queens

what did i miss?

I love being a girl and am not attracted to stralight or gay guys.

xxxxxxxxx



Sasha Anne

[Sally24]

It's pretty basic, the general public doesn't understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender. Gender is whether you are, or feel you are male or female. Sexual orientation is who are you attracted to, men, women, or both. They are two very different things that many people confuse.

[lisa_vin]

Hi all! To the general masses, gay encompasses ANYTHING that a man may say, do or wear in an effeminate manner. It's a stereotype....an automatic label that even education to the nth degree may not truly alleviate. "That's just how we were raised" is an automatic answer to any belief or action that does not follow the so-called mainstream.....or "NORMAL" as many like to say!!!!! (Frankly, I'm surprised but pleased that men wearing earrings has finally become so acceptable.)

[kristytv]

It's pretty basic, the general public doesn't understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender. Gender is whether you are, or feel you are male or female. Sexual orientation is who are you attracted to, men, women, or both. They are two very different things that many people confuse.

this is the only other comment that needed added!
and btw whats "normal" these days anyway , most people i know do not fit that idea!

[sterling12]

Hi everyone,
Actually the general public dont know what to think. Like you have already said theyre uneducated in such matters and are likely to remain so unless someone does something about it. Seen as most CDs are either in the closet or too frightened to stand up and be counted there doesn't seem to be an end to the never ending circle of ignorance. So for the forseeable future there will be some who continue to assume that CDs are Gay.
Take care
Bev

I think Bev has it covered. If you all want The General Public to realize that there is a SPECTRUM of Transgendered people, then your going to have to come of of hiding, make yourselves known, and get the facts out before That Public.

I will repeat what I've always said, The Battle will eventually be won when a million little battle/encounters occur, and people begin to accept new ideas about being transgendered. Everyone who is transgendered should understand this necessity!

If you can't get out there and let people know who you are....then don't bellyache about how you are misunderstood!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Nicole Erin]

People think we dress like this to attract male lovers.