Hot or not? That depends...

[Sweet Cindy]

I thought I'd share the results of my weekend experiment.

I love posting pictures here because everyone is so kind and supportive but I've always wondered what people outside our community would think of my image. Would they read me right away? Would knowing I'm a CD change their opinion of my looks?

On a whim, I posted my picture (the one you see at left) on Hot or Not. In my little greeting, I mentioned that I was "just your average crossdresser" and that I wasn't looking for anything other than opinions on my impersonation of the female form.

Well I got opinions, all right. I was promptly rewarded with a 5.2 out of 10 after about 40 votes. Some people even gave me 1s, 2s and 3s. Were these low votes from guys disgusted to find I was a crossdresser? Catty girls? Or am I just not doing my makeup very well?

To find out, I re-wrote my greeting and made no mention of being a crossdresser. I simply said I was looking for friends. Interestingly, my rating rocketed to 7.5 within a day after a couple hundred votes. I was even getting 10s!

While this was a nice ego stroke, it was disheartening to see the obvious lack of acceptance for Cindy the CD. At least that's what I decided it was. Hopefully it was mostly macho/immature people who burst my bubble so early in my little experiment. I actually did receive a couple 9s even when I was open about being a CD, so not everyone was nasty. I guess it's no surprise that there are good and bad people out there and that's what this basically comes down to. Not an earth-shattering conclusion but it was a fun and interesting test. Try it sometime!

Cindy

[TommiTN]

I think you're spot on with your assessment of the different ratings you got, admitting you're a CDer vs no mention of it. It's just a reflection of how society at large views us. The high ratings you got from a few when they knew you are a CDer could have been from other CDers or "admirers"

[valenstein]

I think most people (mainly guys) just don't want to admit it in public, or at least think it's okay to think that someone of the "same sex" is attractive without it being a big deal.

I'm still slightly in the closet, but nowadawys if I was in drab with a bunch of guys and a CD/TG walked by and one of the guys said "she's hot..whoa, wait it's a guy", I'd still say she looked hot. I think hardcore female bodybuilding is sexy, and I've had to defend that now and again. Other people might find it gross, but I give it a 10.

Cindy, I'm voting Hot.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Cindy,
If you were doing the Hot or Not as an experiment I would have done it the other way round to ensure that I got a true result. However, Hot or Nots really dont rate with me anyway because they are purely down to how a person looks and nothing more. This is how the world judges everyone and as a Genetic female I have had to live with that for the best part of my life. I can understand why a CD would want to take part in something like this because its a form of acceptance but its also a very dangerous one because a fragile ego can oh so easily be damaged.
Why in the world you would want to do it I dont know, judging from your Avatar you are obviously a pretty girl anyhow so why be bothered what others think of you. Its down to personal taste and what someone might think attractive another wouldn't turn his head.
Take care
Bev

[Karren H]

I've seen my reactions go either way... My first H or N photo which I thought was pretty good got a dismal 2.7. Lol. Later ones did better... Labeled as male or female ... And I've been signing up on main stream forums and making blog ebtries as Karren for some time with my photos and not hiding the fact that I am who I am.. Just signed up on Blackberryforums.com as Karren. And I'm already posting and replying and getting some good feedback.. Of coarse I'm on a large makeup forum as a crossdresser!!

[tvbeckytv]

fact is, when people look at pictures they see, in the most part, what they want to see, or what they expect to see. when you had told them you were a crossdresser, that made it pretty clear for most that something would be amiss. when you dont say anything, they were free to see what they expected to see.
This has been shown time and time again in many studies.... people look, but they fill in most of the picture from their mind with what they expect to see...rather than what is really there.

[bgirl]

Not that long ago, when I was in denial, people like me made me feel very uncomfortable. Gave me the willies. Perhaps I was uncomfortable with having feminine feelings? Even when I started to accept myself, I had to re-educate my fine honed homophobic tendancies.
Today, I feel much different when I encounter someone who is gender varient. I may feel a brief hyper-awareness until I start to smile and hope all is going well for her. I know how hard it is to have the courage to go out and take the chance of being read.
I don't think I fool anybody, if they take a good look at me. Coming to terms with being made has given me great freedom to be myself when I go out. I don't hesitate to use my credit card(says see ID) and show my ID if asked.
By the way, your avitar shows a beautiful woman. It wouldn't be your looks that gave you away.

[Tina Dixon]

Thats about right, people still don't under stand us but I would have gave you a 10

[Sweet Cindy]

I did it out of vanity and insecurity but mostly to gauge the outside world for passing and acceptance. I've only been out a handful of times and it was years ago, but the web is now my only way of being "out and about". Crossdressing is a small but educational window into the world of a woman. Of course as Bev points out, genetic women get judged harshly on a daily basis and I don't mean to complain.

Thanks Tommi. There were a couple CD admirers. And just for the record, I've deleted my profile from Hot or Not. Experiment over.

I agree with Becky that people mostly take a quick glance and the brain fills in the rest. It's a good point and another tip to remember for those lucky enough to get out of the house - don't dress to draw attention and you likely won't.

Thanks for your honesty, bgirl. It's nice to know people can learn to accept (and just learn, period). You should be proud of yourself.

Karren, you're an inspiration. Beauty, guts and a sense of humor. I give you a 10 and it's based on a lot more than your looks.

And thanks for the 10s, Tina and Drew (er, I mean Ivy)! Right back at you!

[Bev06 GG]

Cindy, if you hadn't told them you were a CD from your avatar they wouldn't have known. If I was to take any notice at all of your experiment I'd go with the female one. My guess is that those who voted after knowing you were a CD did so with discrimination in their hearts.
Bev

[docrobbysherry]

Cindy, I did the same thing. Listed myself as a male first time. Got under 3's.
Re-listed myself as a female. With a different, but similar quality pic. Like u, I got 7+!

[Genifer Teal]

I like the way you think. Nice test. Thanks for sharing the results.

Gen

[SusanLaine]

TommiTN nailed it. I too would like to get a raw, unbiased opinion of my femme self and I applaud your courage to post on such a meat market and degrading kind of site as Hot or Not. I've asked several people how I pull off my femme self and everyone has been very complimentary but in my quest to perfect my look I need the hard feedback - it's not easy to get unless you're willing to put yourself out there in front of teens or some catty women - you go girl!

You look very pretty and from what I can tell from a picture, you make a very lovely woman.
Susan

[Carroll]

I am at a 6.9, but maybe we should write to the guys that run it and see if they could add a CD sections...

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Sweet Cindy, you look very much like a woman, you have it down and if there is a such thing as passable you manage it well. I would smile in your next photo and look happy, with your looks you have a lot to smile about.
Quit telling people you are a crossdresser and they will never know the truth.

[Jaclyn NM]

I vote hot. I think you would pass very easily as an attractive woman.

[Sweet Cindy]

You know, I just re-read this posting of mine and I realized I sound kinda pathetic, like my ego got shattered by Hot or Not and I'm whining about it to all you great girls, looking for reassurance. And of course you're all very reassuring and quick with compliments and for that I thank you. My ego is a bit fragile and a girl always loves to hear she's pretty. But I'm really just looking for your views on society's view of us (albeit in a roundabout way).

Here's a redirect of the question I didn't properly ask: given that society (and by that, I guess I mean western or even just North American society) is slowly accepting gays and lesbians into the mainstream and television media, do you think crossdressers will ever travel that road? Will there ever be a show on Showcase or Bravo about CDers? "The C Word"?

Thanks again for all the HOT votes!

Cindy


Oh, and Sandra, thank you so much! But I look like an idiot when I smile. But I am happy, I swear!

[bgirl]

How about Queer eye for the straight guy- Crossdressers special! Hmmm
If I had the courage, I would e-mail those boys and suggest just that. Wonder if my wife would freak if I got a make over on National TV. (Pun intended.)

[Sweet Cindy]

Getting closer!

http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/Real...contestants_DC