exclusion at the beauty parlour!

[Sarasometimes]

she's certainly aware that 'transformation' is a rip off. she has a huge (and ever expanding) wardrobe. she just wanted some hair and make-up updating and advice. i thought it would be another fun thing we could do together, not a serious under-cover operation where she furtively disappears for a whole day. i'm aware i sound jealous and put-out - that's because i am!

If this is in NYC I have heard they don't allow partners. I would have her pick a different place. i use many mainstream salons that are fantastic and don't overcharge for makeovers by real GG's. The two of you could have a spa day at a location you both are comfortable at. if the NY/NJ/pa. area is good for you i can sugest some salons. Just ask

[Priscilla Ann]

I agree with those who said "find another place".

[Sarah's lover]

I would definately be requesting that h/she cancels and finds another place where you can enjoy the process together. It's been really important to me to have involvement in my SO's makeover which happens this weekend. My involvement has made me feel part of her journey and we are sharing these milestones together.

Had I been told I couldn't be present I would have considered that illicit goings on may be on the agenda and that would have been totally unacceptable to both of us!

I really feel for you in this dilemma.

[harmony]

there are services like eli hunters in germany that give spouses a free ride for coming along-i call that smart marketing!!

[Pattie O]

I would insist on going along.Put some pressure on and it may even enhance the relationship.YOur partner is a lucky "girl"!

[Holly]

MOH, my wife comes with me for most of my makeovers. The first one was especially poignant and a special experience that neither one of us will forget for our whole lives. The studio I normally go to not only welcomes SO's they offer services to them as well. When my daughter turned 21, we took her for a makeover and photo shoot. They did college co-ed looks, evening looks, even a Las Vegas showgirl look.

I hope the root of all the tension between you and your partner is a poor choice of transformation studios. That's pretty easy to fix... get rid of the appointment and find another place where your participation is welcomed! If your partner is reluctant to do so, something is way out of whack!

[lizbendalin]

I don't want to advertise any specific sites/services (contact me privately if you want to know), but the wife and I had a wonderful experience together on our honeymoon at a transformation boutique - tons of pictures, and tons of fun. I think the folks at Applebee's are still recovering. I think if the two of you can't do it together, then neither of you should do it.

[Missy Anne]

Hi Maid of Honour,

I have a very accepting wife also. We do everything together.

If anyone EVER told me my wife was unwelcome wherever I went, they would be sent down the pike so fast they wouldn't know what happened.

My $0.02 is, get another place. Your SO should feel the same way. Maybe we need to remind him how lucky he is.

Hugs,

Missy Anne

[Sarah_GG]

I agree with all those who've said "find another place". We talked about it last night (with difficulty) and he feels that although he does want me by his side, he also wants to do it alone so he doesn't have to worry about me. He's offered to change the date and find out whether it really is unacceptable for me to go. I've said go ahead with my blessing and do it anyway. It has created a tension between us. We had really opened up to each other emotionally since he 'came out' and have had a lot of fun exploring it together. I do feel superfluous to requirements now and have a strong urge to do stuff on my own too. From his point of view, this is something he's spent a lifetime hiding and often feels foolish for indulging - part of his not wanting to go is because he feels embarrassed in front of me, especially if the place isn't welcoming. If he changes it and doesn't go I will feel I've spoilt it for him and if doesn't change it and goes I'm worried he won't enjoy it because of the wedge it's created. He said he didn't feel the elation he expected to when he booked it anyway, but I suspect that's because of my cool response to the fact that he's doing it alone. I'm not sure how we'll resolve it... but huge thanks to all of you for your supportive words. In the meantime I've emailed the place to ask what their policy / approach is to female partners attending but they haven't responded. We'll get through this. I don't believe there's anything sinister in his intention really... so perhaps I should indulge his indulgence! The last thing I want to do is drive it back into secrecy.

[Shannen]

Sounds like buyers remorse to me. He's probably wanted to do this for years and now that he can, it just isn't the same as doing something you "can't".

In the end he will realize that having such a wonderful wife helping him transform at home will be so much more enjoyable!

I've found that there is an edge to crossdressing. The excitement of doing new things can be addictive. I'm sure that you two will have many years of fun as you discover new things to do together!

[Sarasometimes]

I agree with all those who've said "find another place". We talked about it last night (with difficulty) and he feels that although he does want me by his side, he also wants to do it alone so he doesn't have to worry about me. He's offered to change the date and find out whether it really is unacceptable for me to go. I've said go ahead with my blessing and do it anyway. It has created a tension between us. We had really opened up to each other emotionally since he 'came out' and have had a lot of fun exploring it together. I do feel superfluous to requirements now and have a strong urge to do stuff on my own too. From his point of view, this is something he's spent a lifetime hiding and often feels foolish for indulging - part of his not wanting to go is because he feels embarrassed in front of me, especially if the place isn't welcoming. If he changes it and doesn't go I will feel I've spoilt it for him and if doesn't change it and goes I'm worried he won't enjoy it because of the wedge it's created. He said he didn't feel the elation he expected to when he booked it anyway, but I suspect that's because of my cool response to the fact that he's doing it alone. I'm not sure how we'll resolve it... but huge thanks to all of you for your supportive words. In the meantime I've emailed the place to ask what their policy / approach is to female partners attending but they haven't responded. We'll get through this. I don't believe there's anything sinister in his intention really... so perhaps I should indulge his indulgence! The last thing I want to do is drive it back into secrecy.

Could you share the name of this place? You may get insight into what she may expect. Erica's academy in NYC is a forced femme type of place that restricts SO's. I hope this is not the place because they are on the fringe and bit into S7m type of stuff. I strongly suggest you just go to a regular salon. Down the road let her try this place.

[Sarah_GG]

pandora de pledge in london, UK! there i've said it, hope it doesn't' cause too many issues but would welcome feedback from anyone who's been there or has an insight.

[CamillaCD]

I have just searched a couple of forums in the UK for feedback on Pandora de Pledge. From what I can judge they are one of the reputable places. With that in mind your hubby should have a great time. I know I would love to try such a place, and any girlfriend I should have would be welcome to join too.

[Sally2005]

How about you go with him for support and pick him up after and see the end result after? Maybe it is the process of being transformed that he wants to do in private. Maybe he wants to try something some outrageous look he might feel embarrased about with you. I can understand a little since my wife has only seen me CD for parties and going for a casual/passing look might freak her out a bit.

[Sarah_GG]

I've seen him go through the whole process and it doesn't seem to bother him (or me). I quite enjoy it actually. Anyway, I've stopped feeling fed up about it now. I don't want it to cause any more bad feeling. I'll see the photos and maybe he should be able to do it without it being an issue. I think PdeP is ok. All those sites are littered with links to porn, but so is just about every other site so there's no reason for me to feel threatened by it in reality.

Thanks all!

[Mirani]

PdP is extremely professional, totally "straight" (as in it does what it says on the tin) and one of THE best. Perhaps the Rolls Royce of Makeover Palaces.
And, surprisingly, not excessively expensive when compared to other similar services.

Many years ago, I had a Makeover and Escorted Shopping Trip with "The Boudoir". www.theboudoironline.com

Pandora was the makeup artist at the time, before she opened her own business. I can vouch for her skills - she is amazingly talented and a lovely person.

I enjoyed being the centre of attention and was made to feel very special and even beautiful .. now that was amazing!

[Sarah_GG]

Thanks Mirhani. I agree that PdP has a fine pedigree. I'm over my miffedness now. Life's too short and we're ultimately very happy with life and all the adventures that lie ahead!

[Melissa A.]

Lemme get this straight: Your partner would like you to be there, you want to be there, you are paying a ridiculously over-inflated price for him to be there(heck, I'll do it for free! And very well, thank you!) Yet you're being kept away. I would have mentioned the place's name 3 posts ago! "Safer" is obviously an excuse for something, and not too valid a one. Anyway, I think it's more important that your partner wants you to be there. Since it's already booked(if you haven't paid yet, just cancel and find a new, more open place), Let him have his fun, and get over it. The problem seems to be with the business you chose, and not you two. I'm really happy for ya both. Good luck!

Hugs,

Melissa

[Sarah_GG]

I can't help but agree with you. But, where will my frustration get me? The "safer" word I questioned and it was explained it was meant just in terms of being 'absent' from family/work/friends for the day - one less person involved in the inevitable duplicity. PdP still hasn't responded to my email so I guess they don't exactly 'welcome' others. That could be because it's off-putting for other punters? Partner is upset because I'm upset, he didn't think (doh!) and I don't think dwellling on it is going to do either of us (or our relationship) any favours. He's aware that it's thrown a spanner in the works. I've accepted that this is the way it is. If he cancels then he cancels... if not then he has my blessing. It sticks in the craw somewhat (cos yes, I can do a fab job for free too!) but if you've waited a lifetime for something like that, well perhaps you should be 'allowed' to do it on your own. He may have opened up to me but does that mean he can't ever 'dress' without my prior knowledge, permission or presence? I don't think so.

[Sandra]

After you said who it was I e-mailed them, making out I wanted to surprise Nigella with a make over and if I used their estabishment would it be ok for me to attend as well, not had a reply from them at all.

[darla_g]

I agree with everyone you should talk to him. A loving, accepting wife is so great, he shouldn't try and shut you out.

On the other hand maybe he has his reasons, (embarassment? ) , maybe he just wants to see what he looks like first. talk to him!

[Anna the Dub]

Personally, I would much rather have a nice makeover with a loving partner/best friend than go to one of these places who just want your money (and a lot of it too!). In your situation, I would look into other places that provide the same service but who are more accommodating to partners, and present it to your partner as an alternative.