Hypocrite

[Paige.]

My Webster’s Universal Unabridged Dictionary defines hypocrite as follows:

Hyp’o-crite, n [Gr.hypokrites, one who answers, plays a part, a pretender, from hypokrinesthai, to answer, play a part, hypo, under, and krinesthai, to dispute, contend.] one who feigns to be what he is not; especially, one who pretends to be pious, virtuous, etc. without really being so.

My Random House Dictionary of the English Language defines hypocrite this way:

Hyp-o-crite, n. a person who pretends to have desirable or publicly approved attitudes, beliefs, principles, etc. he does not actually possess. [ME ipocrite < OF < LL hypocrite(a) < Gk hypokritites stage actor, hence one who pretends to be what he is not. ---Syn. deceiver, pretender, pharisee.

Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary simply says:
Hyp-o-crite, n. one who affects qualities he does not have.

I was questioning myself and my relationship to CD’s when this word came to my mind. I wanted to know if I am a dictionary definition of a hypocrite because even though I come to this site and offer my support and encouragement, I don’t march, carry banners, go to alternative style bars and parties and I have never told my dad or the rest of my family that I have been with CD’s. I suppose I could be called a closeted supporter but in the eyes of my CD friends, but does that mean I am a hypocrite? A hypocrite because I “pretend to have desirable or publicly approved attitudes, beliefs, principles, etc that I do not actually possess?”

But then the dictionary definitions raised more questions than answers in my mind about crossdressers in general. Are all CD’s considered hypocrites because they pretend, or feign to be women when they are not? I am not a CD but I know I pretend to be pious and virtuous to my co-workers and family. Do you?

I am confused and would appreciate any ideas. Am I missing something in my understanding of this inward spiral of definitions?

Am I a hypocrite?
Are you a hypocrite?
Are none of us hypocrites?
Should we just throw the dictionaries in the trash?

[janexx]

You are not a hipocrite.

Remember there is such a thing as the Hipocratic Oath. The body of which is that no man shall impeed the death of another and should, in all circumstances, try to preserve that life.

There are two things here, I mean "Man" in the Darwinian sense, i.e all of humanity, and the quote is abridged from memory.

If I am right in my congecture You are what you are and shoud, as we all should, preserve that and cause it to prosper.

With all my love and suport,

Jane

[Shelly67]

Paige , for me there is only one answear sugar ...
Hypocrite ......??
Perhaps this is more like me ..
Roses are red violets are blue , I,m a schitzophrenic and so am I ........

You are an open book , that as life passes by the chapters become memories.........

Or , as a musical friend of mine once sadi ( wish I could write this in music form ) " Never B flat , never B sharp , always B natural.

[jackie_p]

Paige:

IMHO, dictionaries are broad general guidelines to the language. There is really no way to fully encompass the meaning of any word since our language is so diverse and words often mean vastly different things depending upon how and where they are used.

Even by the dictionary, however, I can't see how you could be considered hypocritical. What belief do you present but not actually posess? If you have CD friends and are not judgemental of them (or anybody else for that matter) but treat them with love and respect then it seems you posess the trait that you wish people to see.

Bottom line is that I don't think that just because you believe in something that you necessarily have to be militant about it. It's often more important how we handle the small day-to-day things that demonstrates who we really are.


Jackie

[Nicki B]

especially, one who pretends to be pious, virtuous, etc. without really being so.

If you were publically rubbishing or attacking trans people, then you could be described as a hypocrite - but if you're just worried about admitting to some that you have trans friends and acquaintances, then, for one, I certainly wouldn't call you that?

Enough of us feel social pressure to stay in the closet - the same pressure that you are feeling.

A wise person carefully picks the battles they fight?

[Fab Karen]

If you were publically rubbishing or attacking trans people, then you could be described as a hypocrite - but if you're just worried about admitting to some that you have trans friends and acquaintances, then, for one, I certainly wouldn't call you that.

Nicki just gave you the answer about yourself.
As to the question about CD's being that, if any of us went around in boy-mode making fun of CD's, we would be. Looking like a woman isn't hypocrisy.

[AmandaM]

You don't have to actively support the LGBT community just cause you date CDers. I am a right-wing, Bible-thumping, gun-owning redneck (with an advanced degree) and I do not agree with or support the political organizations of the LGBT movement. But, I am still transgendered. If someone is giving you a hard time cause you're not "involved" or "one of them", don't feel guilty because of their dogma. If you agree with them, fine, if you don't, fine. Be a free spirit!

[patti]

Hi paige-

You are NOT a hypocrite...you are a Lovely person that is in Support of something that Society deems "Wierd". So what if men want to dress femininely...it is just nice to know that wonderful women like you support us! I guess the Question to your Question would be, "What would your dad say if you brought home a guy that was wearing a skirt and pantyhose and carrying a purse? If that would "Upset" him...then it is not wise to do that...that is not being a hypocrit!

Thank You for being you!

Patti

[lisa_vin]

Hi Paige! This definition from Wikipedia explains the word "hypocrite" the best for me:

Hypocrisy (or the state of being a hypocrite) is the act of preaching a certain belief or way of life, but not, in fact, holding these same virtues oneself. For example, an adult telling children not to smoke cigarettes, even though the adult smokes. Hypocrisy is frequently invoked as an accusation in many contexts.....the refusal to "...apply to ourselves the same standards we apply to others".

As a cd'er, I don't preach or push my "way of life" on anybody else. Lisa is a part of me just as much as John is and my ACCEPTANCE of that fact does not make me a hypocrite. I harm no one, I bother no one, I don't go door to door or stand on a street corner shouting out the joys, benefits and horrors of crossdressing. I physically and psychologically need Lisa to be here in person, not just in thought or fantasy. I need the opportunity to connect my whole psyche and she is part of that and dressing as her "completes" me and to deny her personna, in my mind at least, WOULD be hypocritical. The only standards I apply to others are moral standards and I don't see Lisa as being immoral! IT'S WHO I AM!

By the way, my wife does not like my femme side but is "tolerant" and it took seeing a counselor, one who HAS cd/tg issue experience, just to reach this point. And I purposely chose a female therapist for both of our sakes. She is the one who truly freed me from any thoughts of immorality and hypocrisy and got my wife to understand that I am not automatically gay, bi or perverted by having this "unusual" but not immoral or inhuman need to express my feminine side. My wife will never truly understand, accept or embrace this side of me but she DOES understand the NEED I have. By the same token, if my wife decided she had a need to express her "male" side, I might not "like" it but I would certainly try to understand and give her that opportunity. We are ALL born with male and female characteristics.....some of us just have a stronger, burning need to grab onto both those characteristics and express both of them!!!!!!!

Sorry this was so long, girl! I hope this helps you in at least some way

Gentle hugs,
Lisa

[susan fuller]

I do not feel you are a hypocrite just not sure of how your friends will react if they knew you supported CDers. There is an old saying "To thy self be true". Just understand your own motives in associating with CDers and you will know.

[TSchapes]

My Webster’s Universal Unabridged Dictionary defines hypocrite as follows:

Hyp’o-crite, n [Gr.hypokrites, one who answers, plays a part, a pretender, from hypokrinesthai, to answer, play a part, hypo, under, and krinesthai, to dispute, contend.] one who feigns to be what he is not; especially, one who pretends to be pious, virtuous, etc. without really being so.

My Random House Dictionary of the English Language defines hypocrite this way:

Hyp-o-crite, n. a person who pretends to have desirable or publicly approved attitudes, beliefs, principles, etc. he does not actually possess. [ME ipocrite < OF < LL hypocrite(a) < Gk hypokritites stage actor, hence one who pretends to be what he is not. ---Syn. deceiver, pretender, pharisee.

Am I a hypocrite?
Are you a hypocrite?
Are none of us hypocrites?
Should we just throw the dictionaries in the trash?

The first Webster's definition seems very generic and under those terms everyone on the planet can be a hypocrite at any time. Especially if it is used as a synonym for pretender. The Random House version sounds more like how the word is used in everyday life.

I reserve the word hypocrite for those that do actual harm. People that tell us how we should live and then violate those very principles themselves. Some very good examples come to mind, like people that legislate against child sexual abuse then turn around and send suggestive text pages to underage kids. Ministers that rally against gays only for us to find out they are gay themselves. This to me is most egregious.

So to answer your question, I don't think your a hypocrite if you don't speak up for CD's, but for example if someone speaks ill will of us and you chime in and say yea your right, then yes I would consider you a hypocrite. Personally I would hope you would help educate the person about CDs. I don't think you would have to expose how deep into the CD culture you are, that's for you to know.

Now the other question as to whether us CD's are hypocrites, I don't think so, again unless you apply the very generic definition then of course we are. But more to the point, I dress the way I feel. I never, ever said I was a woman. If CD's are being attacked and we don't speak up for ourselves, I find it sad. But unless a CD agrees with the disparaging remarks or joins in on a hazing of a fellow CD, I don't believe they are a hypocrite.

Maybe it's just me, but anytime somebody makes a sweeping generalization about a whole group of people, whether they be TG, Gay, Black, Women, or you name the group, I correct that person. I tell them it's not fair to attribute that trait to that group anymore than it's fair to attribute a trait (I'll pick a trait that may apply to the group they belong too) that they have. If that doesn't stop them from that nonsense I'll know better than to engage that person in conversation.

Maybe throwing the goofy book out the window is not such a bad idea though!

Love, Tracy

[Lora Olivia]

Well critically speaking I am really more of a hippo Now that being said, my definition of a hyprocrite is the person who does not practice what they preach....as opposed to people I feel who are more like us Paige....we may not preach what we practice...as always just my

[PamelaTX]

Not a hypocrite. Hypocrites are those who preach one thing and practice something else, like the bible-thumping TV preachers who are doing every woman in town.

Don't worry about not being an activist. Another way to phrase your question is "How can I tell if I'm a good person?" This is a difficult question, and one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. The quick answer used to be "I go to church on Sunday, and I do what my religion tells me to do." (That still works pretty well, by the way.) With the decline of formal religion, activism became the preferred answer to that question. "I'm a good person because I'm an activist." Personally, I think this answer is silly, but it works for some people.

I'm going to give you another answer that isn't based on politics or religion.

How much do you love? If you do your best to love everyone you meet, even when they're not lovable, and if you put that love into practice by reaching out to those around you, not in big ways by carrying picket signs, but in small ways by saying "Don't cry. I'm here for you." Then you are a good person.

This may not be your answer either, but it's a better answer than activism.

[docrobbysherry]

Not a hypocrite. Hypocrites are those who preach one thing and practice something else
Don't worry about not being an activist. With the decline of formal religion, activism became the preferred answer. "I'm a good person because I'm an activist." Personally, I think this answer is silly, but it works for some people.

Paige, u r confusing "hypocrite", with, " activism". As Pam said. They r quite different.

If your brother or father started CDing, and u condemned him, THEN u would be a hypocrite!

[Rachel Morley]

I wanted to know if I am a dictionary definition of a hypocrite because even though I come to this site and offer my support and encouragement, I don’t march, carry banners, go to alternative style bars and parties and I have never told my dad or the rest of my family that I have been with CD’s.

That's not being a hypocrite, that's just being a private person. Nowhere does it say you have to tell everyone your own personal business, especially if it's something that they might not understand or appreciate. You can still be a supporter without needing to carry a banner and march.

I agree with the others, to me, essentially a hypocrite is someone who does not practice what they preach.

IMHO, from a CDing standpoint, emulation is not being hypocritical. So, just as others have said, as long as a person does not start "CD-bashing" at times and then come here and post messages of support at other times, I don't see how anyone can label that person as a hypocrite just because they don't always share all their thoughts and feelings on a particular subject - which happens to be in this case crossdressing.

[Sandra Dunn]

First we must recognize that there are 3 genders not 2, if we only recognize 2 genders then we are all hypocrites. Those who do not recognize the 3 genders are the hypocrites. Futher if you bash any TG at anytime away from your TG freinds, you are a hypocrite. Even if you remain silent you discredit your freinds. Let me share an example. I am not interested in men, still they should be allowed to marry each other and I have publicly made this knoun. If I had stated this to my gay freinds and then stated against them publicly, I would be a hypocrite.
This may have come out rather harsh, forgive me if it seemed that way. I class this type of question with descrimination, uneducated and ignorance. I apprciate GGs like Paige who do come learn and offer a different view of things and ask questions. The fact that you are interested in TGs is very refreshing and I hope you find one whom you could be happy with. You can be an activist with out the banner, just speak up for those who can't at that time.

[meg_dc_00]

My hypocrisy is usually because of silence, a few times I've heard friends or colleagues disparage trannies and I've been quiet about it.

Most of my close friends have inklings that I'm a crossdresser, so it doesn't happen much (or I realize they're testing me).

I am pretty vocal about gay marriage though, always.

[Lora Olivia]

I am pretty vocal about gay marriage though, always.

for or against???

[jeniinnylons]

I say no because it is really not your battle to fight. Your just supporting us in our battle.

BTW marry me

[Angie G]

I really don't think so hun.
Angie

[Joy Carter]

Not at all girl friend. I for one wouldn't want you to out yourself as a supporter. As you just might cause yourself hardship. Maybe not from your family, but friends and acquaintances can be cruel. You have a heart thats all.

[Joanne f]

We all have thoughts, desires, feelings, things we would like to do, would`t like to do , things we feel we should say or should not say but just because we do not act on these things doe`s not make us a hypocrite, most of the times it makes us guilty of useing common sense.




joanne

[vivianann]

Even though the Dictionary has a broad definition of hypocricy or hypocrite, it does not change the way society in general think of what the words mean, when peaple think of a hypocrite, they think of peaple who preach one way and do not live by the words they preach, such as someone who says do not commit adultery, and then they are caught in an adulterous relationship, there other definitions of what a hypocrite is in the earlier posts in this thread that hits the nail on the head. You are NOT a hypocrite.
Just because you do not march, carry banners, go to alternative clubs and such does not make you a hypocrite, I am the same way you are, I do not march or carry banners because I do not believe the militant in your face movement is the proper way of getting peaple to accept any lifestyle. I do not go to alternative clubs either. I am a conservative and religous person who happens to be tg or crossdresser. you say that you do not poses such desirable attitudes, beliefs, or principles, well you need to realize that as humans we are not perfect, sounds like you are suffering from unecisery guilt, just like we as crossdressers have suffered from unecisery guilt when we were younger because we thought that we were going to hell because we put on a dress. You feel guilt because you support and had relationships with cders, I think I talked about this subject in a pm to you in June. I believe you were raised up in a strict religious environment, and like us all you feel you have not lived up to what you were taught, crossdressing is not a sin, and if you feel you have sinned in other ways there is that wonderful thing called repentance if you so desire. If I am wrong tell me. Sweetheart we are here to help, pm me if you like. you have brought up a good thread here and I hope we can help you Vivian

[Jonianne]

I agree with the consensus that in normal use of the word hyprocrite, it would mean going along with (or leading) the crowd in one direction when you are actually going the opposite.

A phrase comes to mind - "Methinks he doth protest too much".

The same would apply to both the supporters of CD's as well as CD's.

So no, I can't imagine you would be considered a hyprocrite. A person that is not an activist is not a hyprocrite either.

I would hope that when that certain time comes in our own personal life, that all of us would stand up for each other (myself included).

I just want to say personally to you - THANK YOU PAIGE for your support of us here! It is so much appreciated.

[yms]

Many words have two meanings - its denotation, which is what you typically find in the dictionary, and its connotation, the sense of the word, and what the word implies.

I think hypocrite implies not so much a failure to declare how you think, believe or feel, but to actively seek to convince people you think, feel or believe the opposite.

The classic example is the bible-thumping, moralizing preacher or politician who is out back buggering the alter boys and the pages.

I don't think it's hypocritical to be closeted. I think it's hypocritical to be closeted and tell other people they should be out.