HELP with forming a CD group

[xdress2lady]

Hi Ladies;

I live in a small area that doesn't understand "us girls" so well and I have yet to meet others like me. Therefore I have been thinking of creating a secret group for CDs in my area as a safe place to be "us". It would be just a place to meet, NO sexual stuff, and to protect families and spouses, it would have to be held at a private home. Our city is much smaller than it looks so we have to be careful.

Have any of you tried this before? Do you have a tips, ideas for the meeting, and ideas for rules to help protect privacy and safety of everyone?


thanks gurls, just the idea of this sounds so fun !!!


Josie

[jill s]

Maybe go to the nearest LBGT group and see if they can help. The problem is how to find others in your area without listing your personnel info as a contact. You might also try any local churches that are inclusive and see if they will host something. I hope it works out well, many of us are so deep in the closet and I think that can cause as much trouble as being outed.

[Angie G]

Where do you live hun sounds like a good idea.
Angie

[Charlena]

If there is a Unitarian church nearby that would be a good place to start. I attended one for afew years when my children wer teens and they were very inclusive. Quite a few CD'ers attended (at least 4 maybe more?) One one I remember was very tall did not look like a woman at all and rode a harley while wearing a dress. They also had a transgender support group that met once a month. I was hiding in the closet then. It is a good idea. Good luck

[xdress2lady]

Wow ladies;

Those are some goods starting points. In regards to Angie's question, I live in eastern Canada near a city of only 80,000 people. There wouldn't be any churches here that would be cool like the ones you speak of but there is gay and lesbian bar in the area.

I have contacted another CD in my area and we have spoken about the group via e-mail. What we are doing at this point would be to draw up rules for the clubs members to follow. Rule #1 would obviously be in regards to silence about the group. Another I thought would be good was each member must have permission to be there from their GF, wife or SO. Reason I thought of this was if your wife or GF finds a bra or makeup lying around and thinks you are having an affair, we wouldn't want them coming to the group in "hot pursuit."

What other rules and regs would make a CD group meeting SAFE and INVITING for members? I'm asking all you experts out there!


thanks again gurls for all your help


Josie

[yms]

Hi -

The only thing I would add to this is don't allow yourself to be easily disappointed when no one shows up. It takes time for people to get out of their houses and meet others. You have to keep at it, even if it's just 2 or 3 at the meetings.

If you can find a neutral quasi- public place, that might help because then people can check it out on their own and see if they are comfortable with it. Going to the home of someone you don't know, on top of coming out, is a lot to ask for.

[Phoebe Reece]

You might want to consider associating your group with an existing organization. Tri-Ess has considerable experience in helping local chapters get organized. If you were to contact the head of Tri-Ess, Jane Ellen Fairfax, she could put you in touch with those involved in chapter development. You can find out how to contact Jane Ellen at: http://www.tri-ess.org/SSS_boardlist.html#pagetop

[paula jessica rains]

if i was were you live i would love to join that group but i live in cedar park texas and i am talking to a theripest about becoming a woman so this is my life syel then a choce or some fitach..........................jessica r.

[adelle]

o please tell me your from south africa?

[Nicole Erin]

Well, if you wanted to say what city here, it might help. I imagine that only other CD and TS would be surfing this forum. And some admirers...

Anyways, if starting a group in your own town is not feasible, you may be able to start one in a neighboring city if it is not too far.

I used to live in a town of 115,000, and there was at one time a group but no one ever showed up so it kind of defunct. There ARE other CD and TS there but the group just never met even after the hostess would go thru a lot of trouble to prepare.

Of course here in Indy, there are 700,000 people and we don't have much problems finding CD/TS and the group usually has 10 to 20 people attend. Sometimes new sometimes regulars.

If you get the word out there, maybe you could find a co-hostess to help with things. Surely other CD/TS in your town will be looking on the web. Just take all the safety measures and all first, don't go publish your phone # or give it out until you are convinced of the other CD's legitness. And being we are CDs, we can tell if someone is a CD or not just by the things they say.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Josie,
How very sweet of you. We have opened up our home and had TV socials. We started by joining a group ourselves though and then realising that we had many CDs who lived nearby us. I also ran a Dressing service for about two years and got to know many people through that.
We still regularly have meetngs but it tends to be people we know. I am a tad weary of opening my home up to all and sundry simply because you just never know who might walk through your front door and not everyone respects your home.
We really enjoy a good social life because of it though and regularly meet new people who come along with friends of ours so the group grows from on social to another.
I guess the way forward for you would be to do it through making friends online and inviting one or two to start with.
Good luck and hope you get it off the ground
Bev

[Nicki B]

I wouldn't start with too many rules - if any at all?

In a population of 80,000ish, there may not be many T's out there, so just try and keep it like a small group of friends, at least at first.. And trannies are notoriously unreliable (for so many understandable reasons).

If your house is suitable and you're comfortable having people for, say snacks and drinks, or a meal, then go for it - otherwise look for a community hall, or quiet bar, that might suit? But be prepared that some times you'll get nobody?



I've been to meetings where they discuss an 'agenda' of 'committee business' all evening - tbh, that's not how I want to spend my time? Just let people talk, make friends, find out about each other..

[xdress2lady]

Wow;
OMG thank you ladies. You gals have really put some things into perspective as I think my excitement got the best of me !! How about all of you girls come instead!!!

I never imagined making this an organization in TriESS (wow what a cool site by the way) or did i think about how it would blow to have a bunch of rules forced on you by someone you don't even know. And Bev had the clincher with inviting the crazies of the world into your home. I really need to meet these people elsewhere. Maybe dressed as guys first.

My wife has mentioned a hotel as a substitute. That does'nt sound like a bad idea, provided people show up. Cause that would suck paying the tab for nothing. And I guess in my mind having it in a hotel room, which is just a large bedroom, gives off the wrong idea. I really need that neutral place.

The only person outside my wife I have talked to about this has children and wants to feel safe someplace to do this. never met him but we have e-mailed a couple of times

In all, I have never ventured outside my home in dress but I am not nervous to meet people dressed up as long as everyone is "cool". There is a website here that has local personals so i have met 3 or 4 girls already. This is probably the way I will meet members. I am only thinking of 4 people at the most for the time being anyway.

Anyone have any other horror stories about groups gone bad? To those who go to groups what do you do there? And for just the "girls who want to have fun.....

ladies, what!.. oh what would you wear if you were coming!!


Hugs everyone


Josie

[SweetCaroline]

Hi, I thought I'd chime in, since I've done it myself. I founded, and co-moderate a group in my area, called the SISTERS of Gardner. The hardest part when I first started was finding a place to meet. I would not recomend meeting at private houses or hotel rooms, unless you know the people really well. If you're are interested in meeting out in the open, the best thing to do is to simply confront the owners/ managers of the place you wish to go to before hand. Let them know you're coming. Do it in male mode, even bring your wife if she's supportive. A lot of hotels and/or Resturaunts, do have private function rooms, tho it might cost ya. Personally, I don't like the idea of meeting in private rooms or clubs, but I can see how it might be helpful for newer, never-been-out, girls.

I'm sure there are many trans people in your area, they just need a leader. It sounds to me like you were destined to be that leader.

Good luck.

[kristine239]

Tri-Ess is a great place to start, but maybe you don't want to follow all the rules they have and want to start an "Open Group". To do that, you may want to attend one of the conferences, such as Southern Comfort and there you might find Marissa Richmond, myself or others that will be hosting a workshop on "How to Start and Maintian a Support Group."

There are a lot of poeple that can help you do that. When I started Cross Dressers Intl, I put an ad in the newspapers, and 22 years later we are still around.

If I can help you in any way, Please let me know. If I knew your location, I might even be able to contact someone that also could help you.

Love Kristine.

[xdress2lady]

Thanks again girls for all of your help. It is becoming apparent that I am going to need to find a place other than my house to start this. Even if we don't dress up yet maybe i could meet other CDer's for a discrete coffee somewhere. I'll keep my eyes open for a spot. And Kristine if you know anybody in my area that would be great!!

I am located in the province of New Brunswick (east coast), in Canada. I am easy driving distance to all the 3 city's in my province (Fredericton, Saint John, and Moncton) and am the same Distance to the city of Halifax in Nova Scotia which has 300,000 people. The closest big city to me with millions of people would be Montreal but it's a days drive to get there. If you know of anyone in these areas that would be great ladies.

Thanks again


hugs


Josie