Clueless newbie/late-comer is wondering----?

[docrobbysherry]

My question is for those of u who didn't start CDing until later on in your life.

Do u have ANY clue as to why u started CDing so late? And/or why u didn't try it earlier?
If u wanted to, but were NOT able to, DOESN'T COUNT!

I didn't start until I was in my 50's. What I'm trying to understand is, why I started then? Because when I was involved with various sexual experimentation, living alone, from my 20's on, I never had one thot of trying on ladies panties, nylons, shoes, or anything! I had plenty of opportunities, too.

Anyone else relate to this? Or have a theory? I'd love to hear your thots, because I'm CLUELESS about this.

[FlygrlChristy]

This is pretty amazing, I was thinking of posting that same question the other day. I'm an early adventurer, 7 years old, like most of the girls here, and after reading all of the posts, I got to wondering what would trigger the urge to CD at such a later time in life.

Personally I'm convinced it's somehow in our DNA somewhere, right or wrong, maybe the urge was always there, you just were able to suppress it better than the rest of us. I'll be interested to see what some of the answers to your post are.

Christy

[Elizabeth Ann]

Hi Doc,

I'm a late starter as well. Although I occasionally experimented with panties in my 40's, I didn't really start doing any serious crossdressing until my 50's. I have been reading this forum carefully and noting the wide spectrum of experiences, and have come up with several admittedly tenuous observations.

There seems to be a group of us who started crossdressing in our 50s. For the most part, we seem to be fetish dressers, who don't feel there is a "girl within." Perhaps because of greater maturity, we don't seem to be as wracked with guilt as younger crossdressers, but we do seem to ask this "why" question more often.

I have read hundreds of theories on the Internet, on both sides of the nature versus nurture divide. The lack of any clear consensus or evidence leads me to believe that there are multiple influences, with each of us the product of our own unique set of biology and experiences (which of course is a tautology).

Perhaps many on this forum are born to crossdress, but I believe that I, and many of us who took it up later in life, am reacting to life experiences. I'm not sure what those experiences are, and it would be interesting to inventory some of those among us late starters.

In my case, I'm guessing that it has something to do with being very timid sexually (first kiss at 17, first sex at 21), a difficult puberty (of course), and a wife with a very low libido. The example of my somewhat dominant mother may have had something to do with it as well, but I am not Freudian enough to figure it out.

Basically, I think that I am a heterosexual who discovered that crossdressing is safe sex (both physically and emotionally), and a lot more fun than simple masturbation.

I hope this thread gets lots of replies. I would love to hear your and other's theories.

Regards,
Elizabeth

[christid66]

Although I always had tendencies, I suppose that I really started when I moved away from home & became financially independent.
However, it's only in the last year or so that I've bought a wig & started wearing make-up so I've got a lot of catching up to do!

[deja true]

In my case, I'm guessing that it has something to do with being very timid sexually (first kiss at 17, first sex at 21), a difficult puberty (of course), and a wife with a very low libido. The example of my somewhat dominate mother may have had something to do with it as well, but I am not Freudian enough to figure it out.

Basically, I think that I am a heterosexual who discovered that crossdressing is safe sex (both physically and emotionally), and a lot more fun than simple masturbation.

Well, Elizabeth Ann and DRS, I'm not a late starter, but I am a late self-acceptor, like so many here. And I think that any of these thoughts or any combination of them is also a pretty good rationale not only for your late start, but also for the final coming out of a lot of us.




(Remember, Norman Bates didn't start dressing until after his dominant mother 'died'! )

[Deidra Cowen]

I was 44 when I started! I got divorced, found myself realitively free and single. Living in kewl city with my own place. No barriers in my way so I tried a makeover and was instantly hooked.

[ArleneRaquel]

I started after my wife died, and now after a number of years of CD'ing I finally like my look as a blonde.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am in the same boat. Late comming to cding. I did try mothers things as a kid. Got to dress for a skit at a camp at the age of 10. Never could fit into the wives clothing. Loved the sexy cheesy styles of the disco era (maybe I was a bit jealous then). Dressed as a woman for Halloween and loved it. But I think my desire was there before then. Also the SO has a low libido. Interesting topic though. I thought I was the only johnny-come-lately. Good to know I'm not though I wish I started 3 SO's ago. Oh well, march on. thanks to all for the encouraging advice and stories.

[Bev06 GG]

HI Sherry,
Yes that is indeed a question and a half. My SO didn't start until he met me. He was married for 20 odd years and although he used to watch his wife putting makeup on and liked it when she sent him to get something out of her wardrobe because he liked the feel of feminine clothes, he never put two and two together.
It was only when we got together and he said he started to take a real interest. I always make a point of wearing really pretty underwear, matching bra's panties and teddies, usually silky to the touch. He asked me one day if he could try some of it on, I had no objections and off he went.
Now I didn't believe him and thought he had been a closet CD all his married life and just figured when he met me that it was time to come out, but to this day he swears he didn't start any earlier (he was 46 at the time)because it just never dawned on him to do it. Like you he had plenty of opportunity because he was at home for a good part of every day on his own. He doesn't have any reason whatsoever to fib about it because hell I wouldn't care one way or another.
If I was to hazard a guess I would say that some guys dont even give it a second thought until something happens to trigger it. Maybe in my fellas case it was my pretty underwear that got him wondering why he couldn't have nice stuff too. Cause lets face it there is absolutley nothing particularly attractive about Y fronts.
Take care
Bev

[CamillaCD]

I am also one of the late starters. As Elisabeth Ann writes, it is more of a fetish than a girl within that wants to get out. That said, I also enjoy being with other CDs at events and gatherings (dressed appropriatly of course).

The first inkling of this interest I think was seeing the queen in the TV series "Blackadder". I thought her gown was gorgeous and wondered how it would be to wear one. Then you have "Pride & prejudice" with a lot of beautiful gowns. The trigger came when watching the scene in the first of the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" films where Elisabeth (Keira Knightley) puts on a corset (well, actually it is put on her). There and then I knew I had to try it myself, and started doing a research on corsets. When doing that I came across sites that has other erotic clothing to offer. So after getting the corset I went back to some of them and bought some more interesting stuff. The mini skirt period didn't last long though.

So Doc, I can relate to this, but can't really say why I got this interest. It could have something to do with my sexual experience. Maybe I miss having a girlfriend. I don't have any recollection of wanting to try skirts or panties during childhood. Being the eldest of 4 brothers I never had the chance to explore any sister's wardrobe.

[Jolene]

So glad to know I am not the only Late Starter here. Can't really explain why but I have always had a strong female emotional side and dressing seems to make me feel complete somehow. Now at 52 years of age wish I would have started years sooner.
Jolene

[Deanna2]

I put my late start down to be a slow learner. But that has been the story of my life.

I have worn pantyhose for around thirty years, but I really don't count that. I started wearing a skirt about ten years ago and I guess I've moved on and up from there to the point that now the femme part of my wardrobe far exceeds my drab part. I could put that down to over-compensating or making up for lost time.

Just yesterday, when I had my mind in neutral, I was thinking about times in earlier life (like when I've been away from home working for periods of time) that I had the opportunity to get into femme gear, but it wasn't on my agenda. Ah well!

[charlie]

Hello Sherry!
You are the doctor too! I would have thought you would have some sort of clinical explanation. Lack of hormones at a late age or something. I have CD at three times in my life. At around age 11 I wore my mothers things for about one week. At age 40 I wore my Mother in Laws nylons, nightgown and garter belt for about one week. Then last year at age of 57 I started wearing a sexy dress I found and from there have put together a complete ensemble...wigs, clothes and lots of heels. The why still haunts me. Dressing as a pretty, young woman excites me, especially when I go out. I have no inkling as to why though.

[PamelaTX]

Over the years I've accumulated this list of things I don't like about my personality: I'm too cold toward others, I don't like to hug, I make stupid jokes in serious situations -- the list is very long. The urge to cross-dress was always one of the really big items on this list. These were the things I was going to change about myself once I finally got to be "the perfect person." The whole concept of taking cross-dressing off this list and adding it to the list of things I like about myself was just too mind-boggling to consider. Even more mind-boggling was the idea that if I accepted cross-dressing as something good, it would help me get some of those other things off the "bad list." It seems obvious now that I've thought of it. But thinking of it took a long time.

I do scientific research, and I've had this experience many times. Often the solution to a problem is obvious once you think of it. But thinking of it in the first place takes a long time. If we knew why it was so hard to think of the solution in the first place, we'd probably all have Nobel Prizes!

[Elizabeth Ann]

Pamela,

My bachelor's degree, from the University of Texas at Austin, was in Philosophy.

My favorite professor used to say that the answers are intuitively obvious. It is asking the right questions that is hard.

Everyone's world view is a collection of unrecognized and unchallenged assumptions. When you figure that out, you are miles ahead.

Elizabeth

[Taffy]

I did some CDing when I was young, purchasing the clothes that appealed to me very long ago. I got caught and was beaten quite soundly, effectively suppressing any desire to get caught again. Then I got married, never thinking of crossdressing. Many years later (around age 50), when I came across a story on the web, I remembered just how wonderful the feeling was and it came back with a vengence. The odd thing was that I had absolutely no desire to crossdress as an adult. I discovered that I am an LG, an adult little girl, dressing as a 10 year old girl would do so in the late 1950s.

Being an accomplished web surfer, it wasn't long before I discovered other LGs, none of whom had ever met another LG in person. After much on-line discussion, we got the idea to meet up at a crossdressers weekend in the Poconos. There were seven of us and we had a great time. The BGs (big girls) had no idea what to do with us and, apparently had never encountered LGs before. That did not stop us from having a birthday party, doing crafts and playing games.

[debbeelee1]

I was a late bloomer too. I think my urges were repressed in my younger years, but with a great SO that I met 4 years ago, she has helped me develop into my true self.

[Sophia de la luz]

Is forty a late bloomer?

If identity is not directly correlated to the body, and our internal make-up uses male and female metaphors... then 40 years seems like plenty of time to sort out the masculine parts. Another 40 years with the feminine parts having a turn to play and coming up with an integrative whole seem reasonable.

Just for note: My SO has a wonderfully strong libido. My dad did some crossdressing. My mom apparently couldn't handle it.

I think I started because I want more out of life and it's a great way to open up to new parts of me.