The Elephant in the Room

[Sara Jessica]

For those of us who are not full time girls, there's a recurring theme across many posts about how certain attributes of our femininity go utterly unnoticed by friends, family and/or the public at large. I'm here to say that I could make such a reference to having smooth legs, this summer being the first hot season I have done so. No one has said a word which is what most of you report as well, whether it has to do with smooth legs/arms/chest, nails (including polish for some of who are so bold), ear piercings, etc.

Something such as smooth legs might not be likely make people think "tg" right out of the gate where other outward manifestations of femininity might do so (or multiple combinations of such presentations).

My question is, who do we think we're kidding? I believe we have "the elephant in the room" here, where everyone notices that something's up (whether tg-related or otherwise) but no one want's to say anything. This being the case, I contend that silence in our face is not to be interpreted as no one notices or cares, simply because such presentations are outside of what society currently views as "normal". The muggles notice, they may not care so much, but are more often than not polite in their silence.

***Not to be confused with the recent (& excellent) "clues" thread, not overly concerned here with what the clues are. Rather, it's about the silent reactions many of us report.

[Sallee]

I couldn't agree more But nothing said is fine. I can think what I want to think. Generally I think most folks just don't care if you shave your legs or have peaced ears. Life is just to short to worry about some one else's shaved legs at least for longer than an instant or maybe 2

[Dragonfly]

Personally...I dont think so.

I have a skin condition (luckily an incredibly mild one) called Seborrhoeic Dermatitis. I used to think EVERYONE could see the flaking skin, the redness under my eyes, the mounds of white skin-snow on my shoulders.

Noone ever did. Even when I was suffering my worst flare *ever*, another person who knew I had a condition said "I would never be able to tell if I didnt already know". Another time I had been swimming with friends and I could literally brush the flake off my arms. I mentioned it to one of my friends and he said "I can't see anything". (Luckily my SD is now well under control).

People dont pay that much attention. 96% of people we meet dont even know we exist when we aren't in their direct line of sight.

Maybe...MAYBE...one person or two may have noticed there is something 'odd' if you have a reasonably visible outward sign such as pierced ears, effeminate behaviour or are wearing a bra under your tshirt. And most likely that person wouldnt 'click' anyway.

I dont think its that people see and are too polite to say. Remember that you KNOW that you CD. Everything looks obvious to you because of that inside knowledge. Others dont expect to see such things, so in almost all cases I would say, they do not see them.

[valenstein]

I think GG's notice or are more likely to say something. Most guys don't even notice when their wife cuts her hair or gets a new outfit. Four out of five people that have ever asked me about anything they saw feminine in or on me have been women. Most times, I consider it a compliment that they noticed.

One of my GG friends made me an honorary lesbian, and I don't say that in some kind of humorous way. She doesn't know I CD, even if she was being light-hearted, for her to say it meant a lot that it occurred to her I was different.

[Dragonfly]

Hmm...again not necessarily. Over the last 2 months of 07-first 4 months of 08, I love well over a stone in weight. None of my female neighbours noticed and I see them almost daily

[Cathytg]

I tend to agree that folks simply do not notice something like shaved legs. This is my first summer in shorts and smooth legs and nobody has said a word or even looked. The good news is that I am comfortable this summer; the bad news is that people seem not to pay much attention to each other.

[Sara Jessica]

I dont think its that people see and are too polite to say. Remember that you KNOW that you CD. Everything looks obvious to you because of that inside knowledge. Others dont expect to see such things, so in almost all cases I would say, they do not see them.

I agree about the part that we as a group are "in the know" and therefore see these things. However, I pointed out that I believe people know that "something" is amiss, even if they don't clue in to the tg thing.

[Joanne f]

Well i do not show my legs apart from on the beach because they are crap,
but i always get that second glance or stair when i am in a supermarket shopping because of my plucked eyebrows:believe it: but then maybe i am just plain ugly







joanne

[Annaliese]

My sister did and was giving me a bad time about my shaved legs, and my dad told her to back off. I was at wal-mart the other day, I was in short short's my leg's are shaved year round and a girl point me out to her mom. then went on there way. I was going in and they were leaving. No one in wal-mart payed any attenion to me that I saw. The point is I don't care any more was I that elepant in wal-mart who knows dont care.

[Shelly67]

My sister in law has certainly noticed . I shave fully , legs , arms chest the lot - and I mean the lot ..giggle . Sadly , she likes to let the elephant free once in a while with embaressing over volumed remarks ...... "Are you still shaving youre legs again then ....I wonder why and look at youre eyebrows ...goodness ! " ?
Stranger even still she like effeminate guys ....... praps I indulge her curiousity? So I tried to find out ...next time came a comment I licked my lips blew her a kiss ......bloody hell , did she colour up !
Either way I really couldnt give a monkies , so long as my nearest and dearest don't get to hear these comments ( I think they have tho , but remain indignant and quiet )
I,ve yet to deliver the all mighty atomical blow of reality with the confession of being a crossdresser . But then again , at this present time I havent the nerve , and to be honest , nor do I want to .
Tis only my wife , my glorious partner and sexy girlfriend who really needs to know anyway .
Oh and the entire network of the internet who read this .
Tis a Jumbo awakening thought.
Gimme a bun.

[christid66]

My wife used to go on at me for bushy eyebrows & prominent nasal hair. I now keep them trimmed......but not for the reason that she thinks

However, I did trim some chest hair (at the base of my neck) and she noticed immediately and questioned me. She likes me having a hairy chest

[Anna the Dub]

When I went home to Dublin last month to visit the family, I could see each and every one of them giving a surreptitious glance at my chest at some time during the weekend (I was in boy mode with baggy t shirts to hide my breasts). No one said anything of course, eventhough they all know about me it is just never talked about. Except my 22 yr old niece, who is 100% supportive and very interested. Bless her.

[CharleneT]

I agree with the idea that people who do notice something (like shaved legs) usually do not say anything. Often because they just don't care, but did notice, OR because they do not wish to offend and can't think of a good reason to ask. How many of them think "CD maybe???", probably very few. But the point is a good one, just because no one says anything doesn't mean they do not notice. You can carry this idea over to the "passing" thing, you may be spotted, but the person may just not say a word. Hence, no comments doesn't mean you passed. Which is why I try and not worry about the whole mess....

Charlene

[Veronica 1]

The only person who ever commented to me was the bosses jerk son at work. I was wearing a T-shirt and he loudly exclaims, "WTF, you have no hair on your arms, I mean like nothing". As I had also recently shaved my head, I had to comment that if he liked it so much, my eyebrows were the only hair on my body. End of discussion and no one has ever commented since.

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]I think the cause of the elephant remaining in the room so much is that people are so afraid of being embarrassed. Either they think of what they would want to say and realize that it may come back and bite them or they realize that they are opening a door that could lead to them becoming the target.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Then of course you have the person that has no social grace whatsoever and just blurts out.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Part of life...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]

[Joy Carter]

I gave up on caring what others may think or say. I did chicken out going to the Md's under dressed. Call me a coward if you want. Just that my whole family uses the same MD. Last year I was on my lawn tractor, when the neighbor stopped to talk. I don't think he even noticed my shaved legs.

[Bev06 GG]

I think its more a case of being awfully polite and not wanting to embarass anyone. Of course people notice. Even busy people notice something slightly out of the ordinary but people can be quite fickle at times, so theyd rather gossip with the next person they see than confront you with something so personal . After all it might cause an embarassing answer, one of which they maybe couldn't handle.

Bev

[Deidra Cowen]

I would bet more people notice and don't say anything that we think! I have had two people at work casually mention guys with smooth arms (no hair). I think they were feeling me out and it def got me paranoid! I do wear long sleeves to work but I guess even a long sleeve will reveal no hair around the wrist and of course the hands.

Oh well...not going to grow it back. I guess I really need to buy one of those racing bikes and use that as an excuse!!! I think regular guys will think thats a bit wierd but not as bad as being a Tgirl.

It blows having to hide stuff....but I need my job as a guy with 2 kids about to hit college!

[Ruth]

I really don't know the answer to this and it's kind of hard to find out. I have full time shaven legs and have worn shorts all summer (if you could call it a summer...) with no comments from anywhere.
Are they thinking "Hmmm, shaved legs, what does that mean?". Should I ask?
"I was wondering if you noticed my shaved legs. What d'you think?"
Perhaps it's better not to know.

[CharleneT]

I think its more a case of being awfully polite and not wanting to embarass anyone. Of course people notice. Even busy people notice something slightly out of the ordinary but people can be quite fickle at times, so theyd rather gossip with the next person they see than confront you with something so personal . After all it might cause an embarassing answer, one of which they maybe couldn't handle.

Bev

BINGO! very well said !

[Jolene]

We just have to be ourselves. Someone is always going to notice something about any of us and talk to someone else behind our backs. Seems to be human nature.
Jolene

Your post said it better than i could have Bev.

[Jenny J]

I went into work on an off day in shorts and forgot about my smooth legs. I must have talked to a dozen people, guys and girls and no one said a thing.
The subject still hasn't been brought up and my co-workers are pretty observant.

[Melinda G]

I have often felt that just because no one says anything, doesn't mean they don't notice. Many won't notice, but I'm sure a few do. However, there are enough bikers, swimmers, body builders, and others who shave their legs and bodies, to muddy the waters, and make someone who does notice, unsure of your motives.
I last shaved myself, in mid June, and then let it grow in for a few summer activities, that required shorts, and an upcoming VA physical. But I was quite hairless well into July, and received no comments, although I wore shorts all summer. I no longer worry about it, but I do let the hair grow in for several weeks from time to time, for various reasons.

[Sophia de la luz]

I have had some weird looks at work for my hairless legs. A neighboring building owner was introducing his partner to me... big burly guy... and he kept looking down at my legs as we talked. I had shorts on and boots with those cute little socks that stay below the ankle. My legs were swept clean. My pat answer if someone actually says something (which no one has), is that I do a lot of swimming (which I do). And that's cool, wearing a speedo to the pool, being completely hairless and fitting in.

If hairless legs are too much for them to handle, I feel sorry for them. Life's too short to get hung up on stuff like that.

Sophia

[Melinda G]

Ya know, if the big burly guy kept looking at your legs, it's possible he was turned on. Are you one of those guys with great legs, that look better than some women. If the brain likes what it sees, nature can take over. Just a thought.