Sweety...Miss...WTF?

[Zenith]

What's going on here. Lots of this stuff since I started dressing. Only out in drab...

So I'm at Wal*Mart buying some eyeshadow in drab. I usually buy just one item of cosmetics with other things like toothpaste, soap, etc... The cashier (an older lady) scans the eyeshadow and says "How are you sweety?" Nice, thanks! Then, "Here you go sweety." OK "Here's your change sweety." "Have a nice day sweety." Guy behind me is very young, probably a college freshman. As I leave I hear her say "How are you sir?" WTF?

My new friend as of this year R*** and I are going to lunch about a month ago. I'm driving, he looks at my arms. I use a men's body trimmer with attachment to just thin arm hair a bit. He asks if I'm shaving my arms...huh? I just say I don't have much body hair (true). He says "You better not shave your legs...ladies do that..." (Nope epilate...) WTF? Then a few weeks ago he just looks at my face and looks up and down, I ask "What?" he looks away. (Just thinned my eyebrows a little.) Finally a couple of weeks ago, I'm in the cell culture hood and he needs to get by. He says "Excuse me...miss..." I hear "excuse me" and move then he laughs. I ask "What?" He says, "Uh..Uh..your T-shirt is over your shoulder like a ladies..." WTF? Is R*** my nosy friend visiting this site?

Should I be irritated at this stuff? Or be happy?

[Celeste]

Hi Zenith,Not another old lady at wal mart,I once had one run from me in the make up section when getting some lashes,she looked at me like "YOU WILL BURN IN THE LAKE OF FIRE"and then she kept fleeing every time she noted I was near,I could tell she was terrified I might ask a question.Hey folks like that ,see ya.

Your Friend on the other hand sounds like he maybe terrified of people with alternative lifestyles and you may want to limit what he gets a chance at condemning.Just don't supply ammo to folks you can't trust.Why don't you ask him why he is focusing on your body so much.

[Carin]

I think it is a vibe we give off. It has been happening more to me too, recently, possibly associated with a mental shift in how we see our self. What we assume is 'normal' or everyday for us (thinned eyebrows, eye-shadow, less body hair) may be perceived by others further down the feminine scale that we realize.

Irritated or happy? Take you first gut reaction as your cue to where you are.

[Rachel Morley]

Should I be irritated at this stuff? Or be happy?

Well, that's up to you, but me.... I like it. I think that when people say things like this to me in boy mode I see it as a term of endearment. I think that they are being nice to me. It actually makes me feel like they might be thinking that I'm a nice unassuming, non threatening, girly guy ..... and I like that

[crusadergirl]

Stuff like that happens to me alot so i have tryed to stop changing my look. I get called mama at work all the time by customers and all my friends treat me like i'm a girl. Your friend seems to notice alot about you though. But no big deal its just your changing and that scares ppl.

[Dragonfly]

Hmm...to me, it sounds like your friend has a few prejudices. And now he is almost looking for ways to 'tease' you about his perception of your feminine behaviour.

This is, if he doesnt know about your crossdressing. If he does know, its a different issue.

[battybattybats]

My guess?

a) Your friend is a CD/TS in deep denial

b) your friend is a CD/TS fancier in deep denial

or

c) Your friend is closeted or in-denial gay/bi and fancies you as a man and finds the idea of you being effeminate a turn off

[PamelaTX]

Count your blessings hon! People look at me and say "Hey! Didn't I see you on the Discovery Channel?"

[deja true]

Funny thing, Zee! I'm kinda thinkin' just the opposite of most folks here!

Your new friend does seem to be lookin' at you closer than a normal guy friend would do.

But as long as he's still pleasant to you, I'm thinking that maybe he's finding your budding androgeny to be interesting! And if he's bringing it up, he's not that embarrassed by it...

The "like a lady" comments may be a way to try to ease himself into asking an important question about your sexuality. He's not saying "like a chick" or "like a girl" or "like a wimp" or "like a bitch", is he?

This is way interesting, sweetie.

[Valeria]

My guess?

a) Your friend is a CD/TS in deep denial

b) your friend is a CD/TS fancier in deep denial

or

c) Your friend is closeted or in-denial gay/bi and fancies you as a man and finds the idea of you being effeminate a turn off

My guess is that the visual effect of "just thin arm hair a bit" and "just thinned my eyebrows a little" is a lot less subtle than she thinks. The effect of shaping eyebrows can be very pronounced, and arm hair growing back can be pretty conspicuous, IMO.

But I wouldn't assume the friend is LGBT and in denial about it. He could be straight, or he could be queer and just teasing her, or he could be gay and transphobic, or any of numerous possibilities. The point is, he wouldn't be making these remarks at all if he wasn't picking up on visual cues that she's bending genders...

[Zenith]

I think it is a vibe we give off. It has been happening more to me too, recently, possibly associated with a mental shift in how we see our self. What we assume is 'normal' or everyday for us (thinned eyebrows, eye-shadow, less body hair) may be perceived by others further down the feminine scale that we realize.

Irritated or happy? Take you first gut reaction as your cue to where you are.

That was my first thought...a vibe. The arm hair and eyebrow changes are very subtle...I am just amazed that they were picked up on at all.

On one hand, I am just delighted...would love "sweetie" en femme. On the other hand, not sure about it en drab. Zenith has been buried inside of me my whole life, now that she has come to the surface...I'm very happy...but have many new thoughts and feelings.

Deja, thanks for the spelling correction (was late and tired and in thought)...that is your pet peeve... I was maybe thinking of the old Saturday Night Live skit with Alec Baldwin and the NPR show...talking about his candy "Sweety Balls"...HAHAHAHA

[LilSissyStevie]

I get this a lot at work. Just the other day one of the office ladies said, "Oh, you're such a girl!" when I complained about gaining some weight this year. I can't imagine any of them saying that about one of the other guys I work with. I just winked and said, "You don't know the half of it."

[Genifer Teal]

Hi Zenith,Not another old lady at wal mart,I once had one run from me in the make up section when getting some lashes,she looked at me like "YOU WILL BURN IN THE LAKE OF FIRE"and then she kept fleeing every time she noted I was near,I could tell she was terrified I might ask a question.Hey folks like that ,see ya.

That is weird. Where do you live? The bible belt?

Once, I went to sephora (chain makeup store) for a specific mascara. I knew where to find it but a sales lady approached me right away. It is usually easier to just accept their help, otherwise they watch you with suspision. She takes me to the display for that brand of cosmetics to discover there is no more of the mascara I want. She appologizies and expalins it is a popular mascara, they must be out.

Then I offer that there might be a display in the back just for that mascara (since it is so popular). I can see the light go on in her head as she leads me over there. Of course we find it. I wonder how she felt that a guy knew her store beter than she did. lol

Gen

[Kayla_CD]

My guess: He has no idea about anything. When you're constantly thinking about something like dressing up it's only natural that you'll figure everyone else is thinking about it and onto you.

It's like when you were in university and went to class after a couple beers. You're sure everyone is judging you and that you stink of alcohol and the prof is going to have you expelled. The truth is that everyone else is so wrapped up in their own lives that they couldn't care less.

Some ladies call people sweety; I call my friends dude sometimes.

[Paige.]

Zenith,
You just don't get it do you Sweetie pie?

Zenith has been giving off high frequncy signals on this forum for the past few months and she just oozes girl stuff. She wants out and you know it! I really think men have antenae and can pick up on your femininity.

I suspect your friend is in the early stages of hitting on you and is testing the waters. He may think you are gay and wants you to know he is in the market, or he may suspect you are dressing. Eyebrows, thinning arm hair, perhaps a leftover aroma, and maybe some feminine manerisms you are incorporating into your daily life are all telltale signs. I have personally found it difficult in real life to get into conversations with CD's, or to find out if a man is even interested in CD'ing. I mean I can't post an announcement on the office bulletin board and you guys don't wear a sign around your neck proclaiming your interest. So if you aren't in the "active scene" where everyone knows, one's approach to someone else must be subtle.

[Niya W]

I think it is a vibe we give off. It has been happening more to me too, recently, possibly associated with a mental shift in how we see our self. What we assume is 'normal' or everyday for us (thinned eyebrows, eye-shadow, less body hair) may be perceived by others further down the feminine scale that we realize.

Irritated or happy? Take you first gut reaction as your cue to where you are.

I would have to agree . I walked in to a store with my hair pressed, eye brows done, small hoop earrings. I'm in boy mode. I picked out a cute girly out fit and took it to the counter to pay for it. The LAdy asked me, dont you want to try it on first ??

[docrobbysherry]

My guess: He has no idea about anything. When you're constantly thinking about something like dressing up it's only natural that you'll figure everyone else is thinking about it and onto you.

It's like when you were in university and went to class after a couple beers. You're sure everyone is judging you and that you stink of alcohol and the prof is going to have you expelled. The truth is that everyone else is so wrapped up in their own lives that they couldn't care less.

I used to be so nervous when I first started buying ladies clothes in drab. I was SURE everyone knew they were for me. Now, I realize that's the LAST THING they think! I chat with the GGs around me when I shop now. Like I belong there, and it works!

Zee, I don't think any of us can gage what your buddy's thinking. But u can!
Just try saying what a regular guy would. Make a " guy" joke/crack out of his comments, and come rite back at him!
Like, if he says something about shaved legs, a guy mite say, " Yeah, I'm trying out a new stretching routine. I have to stretch over and down on my legs. And I keep pulling out leg hairs! Ever have that happen to u? What would u do?"

U know, some kind of weird guy BS comment. But, nothing to do with CDing, of course! See how he reacts to your comments! Instead of being selfconscious, try to be more aware of what, and how, he's saying things.

[Chiana]

My new friend as of this year R*** and I are going to lunch about a month ago. I'm driving, he looks at my arms. I use a men's body trimmer with attachment to just thin arm hair a bit. He asks if I'm shaving my arms...huh? I just say I don't have much body hair (true). He says "You better not shave your legs...ladies do that..." (Nope epilate...) WTF? Then a few weeks ago he just looks at my face and looks up and down, I ask "What?" he looks away. (Just thinned my eyebrows a little.) Finally a couple of weeks ago, I'm in the cell culture hood and he needs to get by. He says "Excuse me...miss..." I hear "excuse me" and move then he laughs. I ask "What?" He says, "Uh..Uh..your T-shirt is over your shoulder like a ladies..." WTF? Is R*** my nosy friend visiting this site?

Should I be irritated at this stuff? Or be happy?

From the way you presented this, at least to me, it doesn't sound like this is in a confrontational tone. Maybe he has an idea and likes what he is seeing. Perhaps he is just testing the waters to gauge your responses. But be careful anyway.

[Zenith]

From the way you presented this, at least to me, it doesn't sound like this is in a confrontational tone. Maybe he has an idea and likes what he is seeing. Perhaps he is just testing the waters to gauge your responses. But be careful anyway.

Thank everyone for the thoughts. Hasn't been at all confrontational...but "miss"? That totally threw me off guard...especially in a lab with others around...I was just using the equipment...if it happened in my lab...don't know what I would do...

Zenith,
You just don't get it do you Sweetie pie?

OMG Paige...are those image tags were visible? I just put them on real quick to organize piccies...

Thank goodness "prettiest cutey honey precious dumpling.jpg" wasn't posted...

[Christie ann]

Zenith,
I love your style!

[jennifer easton]

Zenith, what a coincidence, just came across an incidence Saturday night, my GF has 5 sisters, one of them already knows about Jenn, well we were out the other night and some comments were made about girly undies and I must have said the wrong answer, not sure what but the sis motioned for me to come over to another table and then she starts asking me question, and fishing for answers, like she said I know! aaah what do you know,I know!, yeah like what do you know and she says I know that your more comfortable in womens cloths, ooooh yeal how do you know, she say WHAT, HELLOOOW ARE YOU NEW!!I see that you shave your legs you wear short-shorts you've trimmed your arm hair! and your comment on the girly undies, I'm not blind, sooooooooo now I have another new sis to shop with, she also made aah joke, I know what to get you for Xmas! she cool, I got to explain about my life and how I feel, it turned out to be a good evening Jennifer

[deja true]

...like she said I know! aaah what do you know,I know!, yeah like what do you know and she says I know that your more comfortable in womens cloths, ooooh yeal how do you know, she say WHAT, HELLOOOW ARE YOU NEW!!...

Like...how come the dozens of chicks that I hang out with regularly (to the exclusion of their bf's and husbands) don't confront me like this...like?

sniff!

[Bootsiegalore]

"YOU WILL BURN IN THE LAKE OF FIRE".

Ah yes. The moral majority. They are ever present in our lives and beleive me.... they are Neither!

Tara

[Sarah Doepner]

Zenith,
I just looked at the photos on you posted in another area of the site. Although you have makeup on and a wig in those photos it's obvious you have a slim figure and your face is nicely proportioned. Others have noted your legs look good as well, so depending on your voice and mannerisms, I wouldn't be surprised if you have this kind of response occasionally.
As for the behavior of your friend, I can't explain that. Only he can. Either he will on his own or you will have to ask, conjecture will only lead to dead ends and more questions. In the meantime start to figure out if knowledge of your crossdressing is something you want to share and how you will respond if it comes out.
Good luck.

[tricia_uktv]

I don't know sweetie, its up to you