[SIZE="3"]Don't care.[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Don't care.[/SIZE]
My father knows, has known for about 14 years, because I told him. I don't think he "gets" the why of it or understands much about it or wants to learn more about it, but he does love me and wants me to be happy. He does't know about me not beng happy, I don' want to trouble him wth that.
Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.
If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.
The few times I met my father, on his trips to see my mother between his three other mariages, I was not much impressed with his arrogance or ignorance. In fact,though I don't really care what he would have thought of it, I'm sure he would have been disgusted in that sanctimonius way that bible thumping hypocrites are.
When I think abut it, it may even be my utter disregard for him and the men like him, that nudged me towards who I am today.
Bitter? No, not really. Indifferent is probably the right word. I'm a sensitive, caring person who eventually figured out that most men were not like the self-absorbed creature that sired me. But I also figured out that I felt happier and safer without a father at all than one like that. I also found that girls and women were much more likable and sympathetic as friends and companions.
Mom? Oh, she wouldn't have liked it at all, but I think she might have at least come to understand it, eh? Mom's are like that. They tend to love us no matter what.
(Thanks Tess, never been to therapy, but you just gave me the opprtunity to voice that little horror story for the very first time. Know what? I feel better already!)
Put me in the "nope" category.
I had a great dad. We got along well, even through my know it all teenage years. He passed a few years ago and I still miss him. I remember the comment he made when I was a teenager and wanted to grow my hair long. He said "I already have two daughters, I don't need a third"
I don't think he would have understood.
I am amazed that this question has come up. I must tell you a little story about my Dad and me. Then you will understand. Then I will feel better.
My Dad was very shy and uncomfortable. He may have been the most unhappy person I ever knew but I always thought little of him and never sympathized. He died in 1993, 2000 miles away from me. We never hugged and we never said "I love you." He just lived his life as a loyal, hard-working honest man. A very simple man. When he died I felt very little. I never felt close to him during my childhood nor did I feel antagonistic. I simply did not feel.
Just before Easter of 2002 I was divorced and sitting at our Holy Thursday Mass which I went to by myself. Midway during that liturgy I looked up and saw my Dad's face above the altar. He was smiling. I had never seen him smile before. It was then and continues to be a very profound experience.
Now, in the context of this thread, I think about him and that moment and I cannot help but know two things. He knew then that I am transgendered and that I dress. Second, he smiled anyway and is proud of me. This I know but have never thought this way. Thank you for this thread. You have taken me to a very sacred place.
Yeah, I'll tell you how damn "proud" he was of me...
... said with a great deal of pain and post traumatic stress memories......
Yeah when I was 7 years old or there abouts I was goofing around like most young boys with out any deep agenda and tried on my sisters clothes and wore them around the house laughing like a young wise kid.
My fathers reaction when he found out.
"No son of mine is gonna wear girls clothes, Ill show 'em. He's going to have to wear his sisters dress every day for a week at home after school for an afternoon to break him of ever doing that again."
That forced transvestism began my long journey that stayed hidden in me and re-emerged at 13 years old. Because of him, The bastard
It was only when my mother found my stash and her and my sister can=me up behind me one night while i was eating and thrust the wig down on my head and presented me with my bag of hidden clothes, that I gathered the nm up later and secretly stole away outside into the night on a cold winter sleet filled evening and ran away with the stuff, 5 miles later I found myself in some woods when I poured gasoline on it and set it all a fire. Had I had a rope at that time I would have hanged myself outta shame.
Hours later after having wondererd in the snowy night I returned home just as my father was pulling in the diveway after being called home from work by my scared mother.
He met me at the back door, we went upstairs to sit at the kitchen table to have a long father son talk when I confessed to him I enjoyed wearing girls clothe. He recalled the earlier years of his forced en feminization punishment and said " its all my fault" I said no at the time to not make him feel guilty.
You know what you s.o.b. You're goddamn right it was!!!!!
And for this 50 + years later I should be grateful for this...this "gift"
Bull.
It was and will always remain to ME my curse. No comments please, my own opinions and feelings!
Sorry for the extended rant but it brings up a very hurtful memory from my past.
Megan
Last edited by Megan70; 09-09-2008 at 08:52 PM. Reason: Thought of an addendum to add.
For this, I doubt it. For other things, yes.
I doubt it. When I was about 16, I discovered that my older brother (22) was also into crossdressing. I was never caught by my dad and I'm pretty sure that my mom never told him anything but I'm very aware of his reactions when he found a stash of my brother's stuff that had been left behind when he got married. He rounded up all this wonderful stuff and told my mother to call my brother and get it out of the house. Pissed to say the least, disappointed for sure. Thank goodness my mom elected to stash the boxes in the basement for a while until the storm blew over. I had a bunch of good times in those boxes and was smart enough to remove the few things I really liked before they disappeared. My brother was never told what happened and the boxes ended up at good will so my mom was trying to keep a little peace in the family.
I have never told my father outright, but I think that he has known for a long time. I left something out and he found it and covered it up! To this day he has never said anything about it. He also has never given me any indication that his feelings toward me have ever changed. I know that he is proud of me. I guess that I could ask him since he is still around.
I would hope that my father would be understanding if I where to come out to him, that this is the real me... but I can not risk losing the friendship that we have
I was the entire world to my father. He worshipped the ground I walked upon from the first memories I had of him until he died when I was 23. I can say he would be proud of me, if he knew cding was a part of me, because he loved and respected all of me. I miss him and wish he was still here, so I could share my life with him.
Yah, my father was very proud of me growing up , becoming a professional graphic artist and getting a college education. But did I love him? No. He died in 1983 and I don't miss him at all. He was a hypocrite and a social drunk who I was embarressed by. CDing was never brought up after that night.Originally Posted by Amy Lynn3
My father was never proud of me for anything I did,if he were still alive I believe he would still be the vicious,spiteful,hatefilled,violent person he always was.
Kate
Last edited by Kate Lynn; 09-09-2008 at 11:34 PM.
My father is 80 now, getting a little confused about many things. He has become more insular and biased as he has aged. I doubt he would ever have been proud of my choice, but today he would probably get very publicly upset.
So, nope.
Put me in the "nope camp" ... I am absolutely sure without any doubt whatsoever my father would shoot me dead if he knew! Ok, maybe not actually really shoot me, but it would definitely change our relationship (for the worse) forever!
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Both of my parents died when I was 18. I'm now 63. I never told them and they never knew. Would he be proud of my CDing...Never
I believe my father knew that I was "different", but he did love me very much I do know that. But as for me being TG/CD...no...he would not have understood that. My father was very black and white about things...no shades of gray there. He still would have loved me if he had ever known about it, but in the same context I know that he would definitely not have either understood it or approved of it and would have been somewhat embarrassed to have had a son who wasn't "all man""...so to speak.
I loved that man very much and never a day goes by that I don't think of him fondly. That said...he was a product of both his generation and their time. That has to be taken in consideration when you "judge" them and their very definite distinctions between how men and women should be.
Thankfully we as a people living now in the 21st century, though certainly not the majority opinion by any means, are beginning to understand, comprehend, and become more tolerant and sympathetic of those who do not fit society's "norm" of what men and women should be.
Just my opinion here.
My father and , now deceased, met Melanie for the first time in 1989. My father made this comment, "I have a handsome son and also have a beautiful daughter. You look so much like your mother." With those words I cried with happiness.
I love being "gender gifted"! www.pmpub.com
A couple years back I decided to tell both of my parents (separately) about my CDing. I told my dad over a couple beers at a local sports bar and it went just fine. His first comment, "Wow, that's really interesting!" was absolutely priceless and so much like my dad. We talked about it for a couple hours and he even complimented me on how good I looked dressed at a Halloween party my wife and I held a few years back. Just as big a compliment was saying how amazing it was that I was able to keep it from my mom (she is extremely anal and he thought she surely would have noticed if I didn't leave her clothes the exact same way I'd found them). We haven't talked about it much since that night but he's obviously cool with me. Overall, a good experience.
while it was my mother who caught me in my sisters pantyhose when i was 12,,,they both are alive still and proud of me for the other things in life i have done and still do.....
btw..EVERYONE who knows me knows i dress or at least that i wear pantyhose
That suggests to me a general question: is it harder to tell fathers than mothers?
I continue to be amazed by the variety of these very personal stories. When I posted the thread, I expected a couple of random flames about public ignorance and discrimination; I had no idea of the emotional depths the question would raise!
My dad and I were very close because, Because I wanted it that way. I'm so sorry that you other's didn't have that. He never did but one mean thing to me. I soon forgot it, and we were close all the rest of his days. Would have he understood ? I'd say he would have tried for my sake. He knew I was sensitive and caring. More so than any male should be. He wasn't perfect, but our relationship made him proud.
Mom suspected it, because it was her clothes I wore. She teased me a couple of times when there was a CD on TV. Or was that a TV on a CD ? LoL
When I came out as a crossdresser to my Dad over the phone he shouted 'Good on ya!'.
He is definately proud of me.
Neither of my parents would have approved of Audrey. Part of the reason I'm in therapy now. Even though I've grown a bit (going to Tri-Ess, being on this forum) I still deal with the occasional pangs of guilt over my dressing.
-Audrey
When I was a kid, my dad told me stories of him and his buddies growing up in the '30s. They skinny dipped a lot (in a circular pond that is still visible on Google earth) and also spent a lot of guy time "comparing" and a few other things that country boys did without a second thought. He was very open with me without trying anything funny. He encouraged me to try anything that made me "feel good"on my own. (if you get my drift) Today it would have probably considered some sort of child abuse or improper communications.
I discovered my love of nylon at age 5 and snuck everything I could from my 2 sisters or mom. Once when I was old enough and had enough allowance and paper route money saved, I bought myself a beautiful nightgown set at Woodward and Lothrop in DC. Once I had it home I slept in it every time I had the chance.
On one weekend my family left to go to an aunt's house for dinner. I ate and made a hasty retreat back home to put on my gown. I laid on the bed and fell asleep. My dad came home and found me but let me sleep for a while. After an hour or so, he woke me and suggested I change before mom came home.
Over the years we have talked about my being a CD and he seems to understand but when Mom is around within earshot he is dead set against it. I am not truly sure how he feels. very confusing signals, but as he is now 83 I don't push the issue. Thankfully my older sister is totally cool with it but my younger sister is a real prude.
Christine
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