Are you jealous?

[DemonicDaughter]

Do you get jealous when you see another crossdresser looking better than you? Do you make snide remarks to your computer screen in the picture section when you see those beautiful ladies? Do you snub beautiful women you see in public?

Why am I asking? Well, I find some comments made here on forums rather interesting. See, personally, I'm not of a competitive nature and always appreciate true beauty both in and out. What baffles me is when any individual makes a comment like those suggested above because I can't help but wonder... is that how THEY feel? When they say a GG's threatened by someone else's beauty, is it because they feel threatened by that same beauty themselves? I'm just curious because thoughts like that never come to my mind and I wouldn't think it true for most... but that could be because I'm projecting my own feelings. I wonder if that's what happens here?

[Alex!]

I confess that I do feel initially jealous when I see a CD who looks gorgeous (I am a competitive guy who values those traits admired by the superficial male, after all). But I am jealous as an artist. Other artists here may understand this. When you see technical achievement that surpasses your capabilities, you feel an odd mix of jealousy, then admiration, then inspiration to do better next time.

So when I see someone who crossdresses more effectively than me, the bottom line is that I admire the technical achievement, then work hard to be better at my "craft" as a result. I certainly compliment the person when I see this achievement, and never ridicule or otherwise downplay excellence. That is a rather pathetic response and one that does not even occur to me, though I am aware this is a kneejerk reaction by the less sophisticated among us. Indeed, I've known women who make snide remarks about other women they perceive as more attractive. And if I happen to be present when this occurs, it is in my self interest to keep my mouth shut

[battybattybats]

Jeolous? It depends on how one uses the word. Certainly I strongly envy some people. I sometimes wish I looked that good or could afford that outfit. But I don't think nasty thoughts let alone say anything nasty out loud to my cat or the screen . It's an 'I really wish I were looking that good too' not a 'how dare you look better than me you *****' sort of jeolousy.

[Zenith]

Sometimes people who look good are also in a lot of pain...

[Niya W]

I could care less. Unless she wants a date

[Jamie S.]

I'm not jealous, usually more depressed by it. I certainly never wish anyone harm because of it. Some people were just born with feminine features and natural beauty and seeing them makes me feel like I missed out on something.

[DeSkirt]

I can honestly say that I am not jealous. I am envious sometimes, but not jealous.

But I have also picked up on comments made, that seem to carry more weight than just answering a question or commenting on a fact or situation. I am new here and I have not had many posts partially because I don't want to come off that way.

I am also curious.. Do the CDers that post answer how they think or feel, or how they think or feel a "Female" should post?

DD, I read your posts more than most because I feel your opinions and comments seem more objective to me.
Don't know why.

[suchacutie]

I love seeing MTF here who look just terrific. Why? Simple. If they can then I know there is hope for the rest of us. I look at how they have accomplished their success and wonder how I can do something similar.

Keep looking great all of you!!!!!

tina

[WildLotus29]

Sometimes, but I try to use it as motivation to improve myself.

[Megan70]

I give the beautiful ones a lot of credit ( yourself included sweet thing) and wish them well. Yes I am envious and wish i could look that good but am not jealous. We all have our own God given looks ablity with makeup, body frame, heigh,t weight, deportment and just like you real gg's no two can be alike. There are thousnds or fat , pimple faced young women to old wrinkled ladies who wished they were a top modesl or looked like a beautifu; actress or magazine centerfolds... but, it just wasn't meant to be.
Now that Kayla of yours... shes something else( so are you sweetie)

Megan

[darla_g]

i honesty don't think I am (or would be) jealous.

Reality is there are lots of far more beautiful CDs just as there are better looking guys too. I can accept that. and once i do I can turn around and admire other really nice looking CDs. It sometimes is a source of inspiration.

[Tracii G]

I feel a little jealous how good some here look in femme but that just makes me try harder.I'm not competetive in nature just observant.
Peoples opinions vary and thats OK.

[ReineD]

I hope it's OK for GGs to answer this. The concept that we feel threatened by beautiful CDs or other GGs and scorn or laugh at them as the result baffles me too.

Personally, I feel a twinge of envy, then admiration when I see a woman who has all the attributes I would like to have. Likes or dislikes only come into play once I get to know her. It has nothing to do with her looks.

Good thread!

[sandra-leigh]

Do you get jealous when you see another crossdresser looking better than you?

Maybe a little, from time to time, but not generally. At our last club meeting, I told one of our members that I was "totally jealous" of her white jacket. I think she's about 8 sizes smaller than I am, and the jacket looked really good on her. But like Batty, probably the more proper word would have been "envious" rather than jealous.

A couple of nights ago I was shopping for Tess, in looking at the dresses and gowns. One store had an especially pretty glittery cocktail gown, very thin shoulder straps, and I think the largest size they had for it was size 8 (as it didn't look like it had any stretch at all, I might have needed 18, possibly 16.) And I was looking over at the gowns and sighing from the knowledge that probably the last time I fit into something that size was when I was about 13 years old, and knowing that that design would look blecherous on someone my current size and shape. A sigh not for "what might have been": rather, a sigh over what never could have been. And the funny thing about all of this was that it wasn't a colour and bling combination that I would actually wear: I liked to look at it but I knew it wasn't "my" colours or style. But sigh I did, for never even having the chance. Some might call this "jealousy".

Do you make snide remarks to your computer screen in the picture section when you see those beautiful ladies? Do you snub beautiful women you see in public?

To that I can answer, "NO" and "NO".

Mostly I don't look at the pictures here, except sometimes to get an idea of what someone looks like, or if a particular picture thread summary catches my eye. A lot of the time it is too easy for me to see the "guy" in the picture, and when I don't, I tend to think some mental congratulations, not jealousy or envy. Or if I am envious, it is not of their appearance but of their success. Not "I wish I could look like that" but "I wish I could look that good (in my own way)".

But it's hard to sustain much emotion on the topic when I could look better or move better or develop a femme voice if I bothered: and I know well that I don't bother to try much. I don't read any fashion magazines, I own "Making Faces" and haven't looked at it for years, I ignore most of the online shopping sites unless I am researching something particular. About the only thing I put "effort" into is going out to different clothing stores and looking at the tops, blouses, and dresses, and being a bit experimental in what I am willing to try on: there has been more than one thing that I have tried on "on a lark", "just to get an idea of what it looks like" that I have found looked fairly good on me. (Like a red silk blouse the other night: I don't buy much red at all, but turned out to be a good match for me. But it was $138 and I didn't love it that much!)

[matrioshka]

When I see some of the people here, I don't feel jealous, I stand in awe. Life's too short to be catty.

Katrina

[Angela-Russell]

Envious would be a better word to describe how I feel, but not in a nasty way. I am really happy for someone who can make themselves look so good, & I think it's good of them to show us how nice/convincing they look. I just wish I could do the same. It's probably the same feeling I get when I see a gg wearing nice clothes, & wish I could wear the same things all the time. At least I can wear them some of the time.

[Angie G]

I naver get Jealous I just think how lucky thay are to look so good even it I don't. Just as real GG's we all can't be beautiful.
Angie

[Shelly67]

No I dont make negative remarks or ignore a person because of theyre looks . Envious perhaps for a short time ....but to me true beauty is kindness and understanding . I personally try my hardest to be kind , keep an open mind forgive rather than fight and no matter what always try to listen . After all the healing touch of a persons hand and warm nature is far stronger than a scornful tongue.I,ve had a few remarks on my looks ( enfemme ) in a positive manner , but I,ve got to be honest in my male mode I,m very uncertain and insecure on my projection and looks, therefore I can relate on how hurtful some comments can be .


As a young man in hospital , I awoke from surgery to find my nurse to be horribly disfigured and scarred by a burning accident as a child, at first I simply couldnt look at her . I nearly cried later when we spoke , she was so kind it wasnt true . Indeed I felt warmth for her - not pity , and even tho I was only just 18 I realised she was one of most sincere people I ever had met . She was beautiful .
Real beauty comes from within.

Good thread .

[jennCD]

I can't say I'd be jealous in that situation... more likely I would be in admiration and a sense of celebration for them in that, from my perspective as an observer, they would appear to be able to project and/or simply be the person externally that they know they are internally.

I know I have certain goals for myself within the context of this area of my being, but they can only be obtained by working on my sense of self, my relationship with my wife, and other personal balancing acts and not through broad comparisons to others who are in similar situations as mine.

.. it's easier to more correctly measure one's growth if it's done by one's own ruler...


jenn

[Sarah...]

Nope. Not me. Now that I've finally accepted who I am completely I've no time to be jealous - too busy being one of the world's happy people!

I've always had a difficulty with being competitive, always run a mile (slowly!) whenever the prospect of some form of competition reared it's head!!

Sarah...

[Veronica 1]

Jealous, no. Envious, yes. Worried about ,not. I am what I am and will always accept that there are better looking people out there. Of course they are a lot younger.

[Jess_cd32]

No jealousy here either. When I see a gorgeous knockout cd/ts I appreciate her looks and hope the personality is just as good, because after your look, that's what really counts.

Everyone is born w/ a different shape and look, we don't allways get what we want but that's no reason to be jealous of someone else. I doubt that I could pass facialy as a fem (maybe w/ the right direction get 70-80%) but I envy a pretty cd face, which is very different from being jealous of her.

In reality, most everyone, no matter how perfect looking they are still wants to change some things about themselves and aren't 100% happy. My philosephy-(spell check,lol) is just like yourself the way you are, and enjoy life, its to short for petty nitpicking and attitudes towards others.

[Bev06 GG]

Nope. Not me. Now that I've finally accepted who I am completely I've no time to be jealous - too busy being one of the world's happy people!

I've always had a difficulty with being competitive, always run a mile (slowly!) whenever the prospect of some form of competition reared it's head!!

Sarah...

Good point Sarah. I think Jealousy only rears its ugly head when people aren't happy with who they are. Once you accept who you are and what you look like it gives you the liberty to enjoy other peoples best attributes without feeling threatened, and like a lot of you have pointed out encourages you to try something new.
Bev

[carolinoakland]

Envy is definately the better word for me, and then admiration. I once was in a fast food place and I got a good look at the server's eyelashes and they were so perfect looking I almost blurted out " HOW do you get them to look like that?" Wish I had now, Carol.

[DanaR]

I've never felt jealous of someone else, because of their looks. I do notice that they are pretty though, but I see this both in CD'rs and women. Sometimes I wish that I had more time to dress and experiment, but that is another story.