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Thread: Question???

  1. #1
    FTM CD here *waves* Dakotaa Xyler's Avatar
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    Question???

    How can I explain to them who I am and who I want to be? I mean Im kinda shy in a way and its very hard for me to talk and express my feelings. I would really love it if someone gave me some ideas on how to tell the and give them facts on the subjuct and to assure them that this is like 'normal' or whatever. That its not wrong and that Im not going to hell for being this way and that its not a sin.

    Okay, my mum supports me. But, I dont think thats she understands or gets me anymore. And she's not here for me she's locked up. (((tear)))

    I just want a shoulder to cry on.

    How do you tell your little sisters? Im really close to them and I dont want them to feel like Im abandoning them or leaving them.

    I just told my brother in a email. But, I want to tell him face to face. Ho.. how do I tell him.

    How do I tell them without seeming like Im leaving them.

    I.. IDK...


  2. #2
    Protector-from-Spiders Cai's Avatar
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    May 2007
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    The way I handled it with my sister was something along the lines of "I love you and I want you to remain a part of my life. This is where my life is going next." I've repeatedly told her to let me know if something upsets her or makes her uncomfortable, or if she has any questions.

    My parents I just had to spit it out. My mom hasn't taken it well at all, but we're working on that. Have to wait and see.

    Good luck!
    Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one. - Eleanor Roosevelt

    The most universal quality is diversity. - Michel de Montaigne

    You do not truly own anything you cannot carry at a dead run!

    ‘Them as can do, has to do for them as can’t. And someone has to speak up for
    them as has no voices.’ - Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

  3. #3
    Male ZenFrost's Avatar
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    I told my family the same way I told/tell everyone, very bluntly. I'm a blunt person so it makes sense for me to just come out and say it. But I think it's the stuff I say immediately afterwards that matters more, I explain how I'm still me and this doesn't change who I am, and it's not something I chose or wanted (quite the opposite), and if they care about me at all they'd want me to be happy and I can't be as a female.
    Story of my life –>

  4. #4
    Ivy
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    Nov 2007
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    Write out every word you want to say, then rewrite it and rewrite it until you are happy with it, then make it a part of your memory so you can say it out loud. Think of every question they might ask and have an answer ready, or if you don't have answer, sometimes you have to say, "I don't have an answer for that yet".

    I become withdrawn at times when it comes to this part of me, so I would encourage them to ask you questions often and how you feel.

    Religion is a tough thing to stand up against without getting into an argument, but if pressed to respond I might say something like: There are people born every day that do not fit exactly within the male or female mold. Some people are born with both male and female parts and God chose to make them that way. Some people are born with male genes but appear on the outside as 100% female. Some people are born that appear completely female, but are medically male because their male genes never developed and God made them that way. This happened long before modern medicine.

    (Look up Androgen Insensitiviy Syndrome, Kleinefelter Sydrome, Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia) - they are uncommon, but by no means rare.

    The way a person thinks and feels life is just as important as how their body lives it, in fact, the Bible teaches to love another as yourself. There is no "unless they..." in that scripture. It is not the body that transcends to Heaven, but the inner soul. Even when Judas betrayed Jesus, an act causing the most unforgiveable sin, Jesus did not lash out with anger, but with love. - That is only how I might word it, take what you will.

    If you are close to your sisters, hopefully they will understand that the person you were yesterday, the person they love, is still that person today.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Felix's Avatar
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    Hi Dakkotaa I'm Felix nice to meet ya. Well peeps all do this differently some bluntly some gently. As fo me well It has taken me a long time to tell everyone I know and it has been part of my process of acceptance too. As for my parents and family well thats another story and you have to do it the way it feels right to you otherwise it could go tits up. I haven't told my family yet for many reasons the main one being my because my father is extremely ill and the family are playing the guilt card on me plus lost them once before and don't want it too happen again as they are so old and both ill. I have approached my older sister and asked her if there was something big I had to tell her would she still love me ofcourse she said I was bein daft and that ofcourse she would but haven't come out with it yet. As for friends and work well its taken me nearly 2 and a half years to come out to everyone but I am now even to the children. Its gone really well and my son has accepted thing better than I could have wished for too.
    You just do things in your own time hun don't let anyone rush you, go with ya gut feelings mine have never really let me down!! Good luck and lets know how ya go xx Felix
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Me, Myself and Felix!!

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