"Ok...here goes.."
Those was the last things I thought before I took my step outside my door dressed. It's the first time I've ever done so, so it was a big move for me. But lets backtrack.
I started my day knowing I would have the next 3 days to myself. I spent a bit of time shopping and wondering what I'd do with this time. I never get time alone like this (whole house empty) and I wanted to make sure I make the most of it. When the house vacated my mind raced. I had told myself over and over that I was going to take a step out tonight (yes,just a step). Then I said I should try maybe standing on my back patio. Maybe I would even walk down the sidewalk...no no no,that's too much...right?
With the house vacant I laid on my couch staring at the tv, wondering if I could gather my courage to do it, to step out. After sitting for what seemed like forever I got up and got dressed. I tried on my new skirt and turtleneck and was surprised that I liked them (wasn't too sure about them in the store, but it was too good of a price to pass up). I had spent some time tonight on a chat room and had talked with a few people about what I was hoping on doing, but now it was real. There I was, looking in the mirror, scared. Then the thought hit me. I'm watching a house for my parents tonight on a military base. A military base. And I'm less than 2 miles from the barracks. It's usually really quiet on the streets but what if a bunch of them go out tonight? I wasn't worried about any violence or anything (plenty of MP patrols but I still made sure to be careful) but what if they called me out? My father works on this base. He has some significant rank here too. Would that ruin his reputation? My cat came up and rubbed against me,almost to reassure me. Like he was telling me I'll be okay.
I walked down the stairs and opened the door. I know it sounds so dramatic but it really was for me. I took a deep breath and stepped out and closed the door behind me. To shorten the story I walked about 5 minutes to a convenience store to see if they had any milk (my cat needed a reward). Going in I was scared the lady at the counter would say something, but she didn't. I got the milk, paid for it and left. She even gave me a "Have a good night miss".
So that was my night, brief, but enthralling. A first step into a big world. Thanks sisters for your posts and chats, it gave me the strength to go out tonight!
Edit: Maybe I should have put this into the other category...sorry...
Continue to go out, it gets easier everytime.
