Theory: Crossdressing to fill a relationship void

[Katrina82]

I was thinking that perhaps a part of the reason some of us CD is loneliness. We're single and trying to fill the void of a woman being in our life by becoming that woman. Just a theory though...

So lets see.

[Beth-Lock]

It was rejection which was part of what drove me to take the big step towards trying to do it more seriously, frequently and even overtly.

[Nadia-Maria]

Of course one can find such cases : either crossdressing makes loneliness, or loneliness makes crossdressing.

I observe that, in most cases, it's not crossdressing that makes loneliness, or loneliness that makes crossdressing.

I believe loneliness makes basically crossdressing easier ; hence it may often enhance crossdressing.

Hugs

Nadia

[Kate Simmons]

It's possible I guess. I believe it's just in the nature of most of us to explore that part of ourselves. Just being XY does not necessarily make a person a man just as being XX does not necessarily make a person a woman.

[Sammy777]

I was thinking that perhaps a part of the reason some of us CD is loneliness. We're single and trying to fill the void of a woman being in our life by becoming that woman.

That is like trying to prove false positive or a double negative.

A] When you are with someone [and don't dress around them] you tend to dress less.
B] When you are alone you tend to dress more.

Using either statement [A or B] they both appear to prove your point.
Using both statements [A & B] they appear to draw conclusions to your statement and give it merit.

However, neither statement takes into account the amount of time allocated to one or both tasks in a given week.
So if you allocate all of your free time, say, 10hrs a week to dressing.
It is then impossible to use all 10hrs a week for dressing if, say, 5hrs of that time is needed for your GF.

You can say that you now dress half as much as you did when you were single, 5hrs compared to 10hrs.
That in it self would be a positive statement.

You can also say that you still use 100% of your free time [the 5 remaining hrs] to dress.
That in it self would also be a positive statement.

Each statement on it's own is a positive statement, but when you use them together they conflict.

So to answer your question:
Do I dress less when I have a GF: Yes
Do I dress more when I am single: Yes

So is the reason I dress more when I am single because I am single,
or is it because I do not have a GF at that given time.

Neither statement above can either prove or disprove the other.

*************** DISCLAIMER ***************
I wrote this more out of boredom then anything else.
It is in no way meant to harm you or otherwise belittle the answers you set out to find.
It's just an example of what happens when you drink way to much coffee at 4:30AM LOL

[vivianann]

I am single however I am lonely no matter how I am dressed

[Nicki B]

Of course one can find such cases : either crossdressing makes loneliness, or loneliness makes crossdressing.

I observe that, in most cases, it's not crossdressing that makes loneliness, or loneliness that makes crossdressing.

I believe loneliness makes basically crossdressing easier ; hence it may often enhance crossdressing.

Hugs

Nadia

Absolutely..


Being trans usually makes us dislike ourselves and feel guilty - not the best self view to be able to build happy and successful relationships with other people?

[Deborah Jane]

I don,t crossdress because i,m single and lonely.
I crossdress because its part of who i am and staying single makes it,s easier to be myself!

I,ve been married [same woman 27 years] and i,ve had relationships with women since and i always end up feeling i,m having to be something i,m not to keep everyone else happy. Unfortunately it means i end up unable to express my "true" self, which ends up making me unhappy!

[Lawren]

For a long time when I was still single my excuse was, "If I have to play both male and female roles in my household, then I will dress for both parts". I never connected it with being lonely, though.

[RachelDenise]

Crossdressing for me has led to my my lonliness. The wife doesn't accept it and it has ruined our relationship. No intamcy and no real understanding. She has in effect rejected me because of my femme side.

[garyunsure]

just to say when i was with gg dressing was less but still went femme when ever i could idont think is being lonely that makes you do it just is. in fact it can make you more lonley if you dont come to terms with it and hide it that is why i joined this forum and now imvu it makes us stronger and to those that go full their the strogest of us all thanx gina

[Samantha43]

The last time I was lonely was before I was married, over 20 years ago. I lived alone in an apartment and dressed frequently. I think that was an act of bordom more than an increased need to dress. I have a supportive wife who knew about my crossdressing before we were married. I did dress less after marriage, but I think that is because I had someone to share my life with. I didn't think about crossdressing as much. There have been times in my life when crossdressing was very important, and I did it frequently and other times when I have gone for years without dressing and didn't really miss it.

[Teri Jean]

The loneliness I felt has not been because of dressing but the loss of ones wife. CDing has really been a blessing and the freedom to express that has opened a door I held shut for to long. If and when I find an SO it will have to be with the understanding I love this side of my life and hopes she can too. Hugs:-) Keli

[Sam44]

Conversely it was dating my now wife that caused my crossdressing to flourish. I used to have a few "granny panties" and generic playtex bras but talking to my wife and feeling her acceptance of me as I am encouraged me to crossdress more and more. We enjoy shopping for underwear for each other and now and then she even gets me some women's outerwear.

I don't mean to imply that things are perfect, but it certainly wasn't loneliness that caused me to dress more.

On the other hand when work was more stressful I did note that I liked being "bundled" up a little more, say in shapewear or multiple bras...

[AliciaWeb]

That is like trying to prove false positive or a double negative.

A] When you are with someone [and don't dress around them] you tend to dress less.
B] When you are alone you tend to dress more.

Using either statement [A or B] they both appear to prove your point.
Using both statements [A & B] they appear to draw conclusions to your statement and give it merit.

However, neither statement takes into account the amount of time allocated to one or both tasks in a given week.
So if you allocate all of your free time, say, 10hrs a week to dressing.
It is then impossible to use all 10hrs a week for dressing if, say, 5hrs of that time is needed for your GF.

You can say that you now dress half as much as you did when you were single, 5hrs compared to 10hrs.
That in it self would be a positive statement.

You can also say that you still use 100% of your free time [the 5 remaining hrs] to dress.
That in it self would also be a positive statement.

Each statement on it's own is a positive statement, but when you use them together they conflict.

So to answer your question:
Do I dress less when I have a GF: Yes
Do I dress more when I am single: Yes

So is the reason I dress more when I am single because I am single,
or is it because I do not have a GF at that given time.

Neither statement above can either prove or disprove the other.

*************** DISCLAIMER ***************
I wrote this more out of boredom then anything else.
It is in no way meant to harm you or otherwise belittle the answers you set out to find.
It's just an example of what happens when you drink way to much coffee at 4:30AM LOL

Hey Samantha, go get your philosophy degree or, perhaps we could work this up into the basis for a PhD research topic.
Sorry too much gin and couldn't resist anything at the moment.

[katrinacd]

I will have to say that my crossdressing desires seemed to spike after my married sex life took a tumble and my wife stopped dressing as feminine as she used to. Then again, maybe I had just repressed myself for so long and it was time for my feelings to come out. An excellent question you pose.

[mykhelee]

Until recently I had my own home out in the country. After the dissolution of my marriage I began to dress on the weekends..Friday evening through Sunday night. As I was in the boonies, company was rare and usually pre-planned. Any guests non accepting were relegated to weeknight visits. Lonely..not really, will continue to hold out for an SO that can accept me for me.

I cross dress because it is part of who I am, I have done it since 12 years of age.

[docrobbysherry]

As Samamtha says? I'm sure there's some truth to that for me.
And there's certainly some truth that being single, I dress more than I would if I had an SO.

Katrina, maybe your poll should have asked if,
" Single folks DESIRE to dress more than those with an SO?"

[MWCMDarlene]

Katrina,

I voted that I am currently in a relationship (happily married for over 22 years at least for me, now the wife may say somewhat less). When I dress, I don't domit because I am lonely, I dress because that's what I want to do, for i enjoy dressing in women's clothes, whether it is just panties, or a bra and boobs, or the whole garb.

[Rachel Morley]

I only developed and embraced my CDing and became a more "serious crossdresser" after I met my wife so I guess your theory doesn't really apply to me (?). In fact, had I of not met my wife I would have probably gone further away from it. I was already contemplating going into therapy for it and was about to purge. Before I met her all I wanted was for it to go away. Now look at "what she's done" to/for me.

[Carin]

My loneliness is not related to my dressing.

My transgendered makes it easier to be alone. At least I have my whole self to keep me company.

[suzy cool]

I'm not sure. If she wore exactly what I like, I'd either dress less because I was stimulated enough, or want to join in. so...I don't know.

[Vicki65]

I wouldn't say I'm lonely. I have a good circle of friends, a wonderful wife, kids (those small creatures who live upstairs) etc.

I dont think it was loneliness that made me do it either, though obviously its easier to dress when alone.

I dont equate being alone with loneliness though...

I am what I am, and whilst there are probably plenty of deepset psychological / medical reasons which can be pointed to to explain why crossdressers crossdress, I dont think loneliness would be high on the list.

I'm convinced one of the more obvious reasons for me is the aesthetics of womens clothes / women. Women's bodies are so much more aesthetically pleasing than mens, as are their clothes. The shape of a well cut pair of tight fitting womens jeans against the dull straight leg of mens, the sweep of a curvy stiletto heel, and the sensual point of a toe compared to a blocky shapeless mens shoe... I could go on - and usually do!

[Dr.Susan]

That is exactly why I started many years ago.

[Jennifer Brooks]

My CDing and sexual exploring really exploded onto the scene in 2004 when my wife and I really didn't get along. We still don't but I won't cheat to fill the void so I feel at times my CDing has filled the void because of being lonely and just wanting to be with a woman. But it's not the entire reason I've been a CD for 33 years. I just love wearing woman's clothing and such.