Am I going to be found out?

[Lady Jayne]

For the last few Halloweens I've dressed as a woodland fairy and a French maid and my wife suggested that I've exhausted the dressing as a female idea. I've persuaded her to allow me one more Halloween enfemme and I've really pushed the boat out and will be dressing as a bride with a beautiful dress, petticoat, veil and all the accessories. My wife has made a few comments about my dressing as a female but do you think she'll feel that I've went too far by dressing as a bride? and if so do you think I should let her know about my desires to dress outwith the Halloween season?

Your comments would be most welcome.

Thanks & lots of love

Zoe xx

Zoe I'm sure judging from most of the other responses you've had that this will be an un popular opinion but it seems to me you wife may suspect that you enjoy it a bit too much and she may feel a bit un comfortable about what other people might think. For this reason I would think of her feelings and choose another costume this year. After all if people do start talking she has to live with the consequences as well as you. That said i would perhaphs mention the costume you had in mind to her and that you were really exited about getting to wear it. It would be an ideal oppertunity for you to broach the subject and gauge her reaction.

Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear but I think that sometimes we have to put our feelings aside and consider those of our loved ones.

[karynspanties]

Why don't you just plain ask her how she feels about you dressing as a woman?

[Nadia-Maria]

Tell the wife. The longer you wait the worse it will be. You can't have a proper relationship without intimacy and without openness, there is no intimacy. Whatever happens, happens.

I am a little disturbed by the roughness, sort of brutality in this statement. I can't see things that way, only in black or white, good versus bad. I presume it may depend on the involved people, the context and the circumstances. I am not too fond of sweeping generalizations.

I came out to my SO last year ; of course, I'm happy to have finally opened myself. I was in the closet for more than half a century. And my life has become easier. From my point of view I have won something. From my SO's point of view it's not so obvious. I guess she preferred a little the life before she knew I was a crossdresser, even if it's no more big deal for her.

Yet from our relationship's point of view, there is hardly any noticeable change. Intimacy is as good as before. And certainly not better.
And I easily could have kept the secrecy for myself. I'm private enough.

I think Zoe is to be careful and should think enough about it, before to throw the big stone in the pond.

"Whatever happens, happens". And it might be the worst ...

Kisses

Nadia

[Sarah...]

Zoe I'm sure judging from most of the other responses you've had that this will be an unpopular opinion but it seems to me you wife may suspect that you enjoy it a bit too much and she may feel a bit uncomfortable about what other people might think. For this reason I would think of her feelings and choose another costume this year.

I've got to say, I think this is the most balanced response so far. I think "stoking the fire" by going bridal before having "the conversation" is a bad idea. It just fills me with a sense of foreboding for you. If I was your SO I'd want to know why you didn't discuss the issue before turning up amongst friends in your proposed costume. Her suggesting that you've exhausted the dressing as a female idea is an early warning in my view.

Sarah...