Wedding dress

[dizzy]

I am confussed, my wife has supported me in most of my dressing adventure. She has purchased me nightgowns, stockings, bras and panties to wear in the bedroom, she lets me wear makeup and jewerley and my fake boobs and even a wig at night. SHe has even gone as far as havin me wear my boobs during the day under my sweats and even says she likes it, also likes when I wear my training bra during the day without my boobs. Until recently, I started to dable a little bit into dresses, I purchased one my self and wear it at nights before I go to bed sometimes, i get all dolled up for sometime, my wife has even seen me dressed this way, ones she told me I should go out at holloween dressed like a women, my wife has my dress hanging on her side of the closet so not all is bad, one night we were talking and I tossed out a comment about how I would love to try on her wedding dress, much to my suprise she gave me the go ahead. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes, so I did it, and went and sat on the bed next to her, me in her wedding dress. Things seemed to be going along really well until all of a sudden she told me to take the dress off and now she is almost going backwards on my dressing, she now says she does not like my boobs, hates it when I dress in dresses and has even commented about me not wearing my nightgowns in bed anymore. Can anybody help me out? When I ask her about it she just says "I don't know" or "Im not sure" she did say she is not sure about how far she should let me go with this crossedressing thing, she used to comment on how good I look all dressed up, so I wonder, did she wanted to see how I looked in the wedding dress from a curious stand point and then when she saw me freaked because of what she saw either good or bad.

I am started to ramble now, can anybody give me some insite?

[happygirl]

You just stepped on them, back off. You have to remember that was her special day.

[Daintre]

That wedding dress was her dress, and it represented a special day in your wife's life. I am pretty sure when she saw you in it, there were a lot of feelings that came bubbling up.

The thing to do now is to sit down with her and talk this out, she is not comfortable where your dressing is going. It has been said many time in the forum....communicate.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Dizzy. I think your wife wants to support you the best she can, but she didn't realise that she would be affected in such a negative way. Communication is the key here. Talk to her........tell her how much you appreciate her understanding and acceptance. If necessary re-establish the boundaries. You have a good thing going by having home support, don't blow it.

[Karren H]

My wife hid her wedding dress!!! It's my size too!!! lol I'd back off a it too.....

[TxKimberly]

To us the wedding dress is about the ultimate in femme.
To the woman who wore it to her wedding it means so much more.
The surprising thing is that she said it was OK in the first place.
I'm sure I don't have to tell any one that is married that women can get emotional and have mood swings - it's trait we TGs often share with them. Your wife's feelings and emotions regarding cross dressing are likely to come and go, and to change with time. I know my wifes do anyway!

[Sarah...]

The surprising thing is that she said it was OK in the first place.

That's what I thought too. I would be concerned that her initial permission is a sign of absolute support but heavily tempered with more difficulty in coping with the general situation than may be immediately apparent.

So, same as most others here, time to cool it a bit and figure out how to have a talk, perhaps establishing what boundaries are needed.

Sarah...

[Di]

I think your wife said ok to please you but seeing you with it on brought things to the surface. So I would advise you to back off give her space and revisit it later. Make sure you talk about it with her just not why her feelings are so raw.Like all the girls have wisely said re-establish the boundaries find her comfort zone.

[Angie G]

I think we need more GG's to ring in on this one hun.
Angie

[Sandra]

I agree with Di, seeing you in it has brought things to the surface.

She's probably as confused as you at the moment, and I would guess that she's got a whole load of stuff going round in her head, that she has no answers to.

Try to talk to her, ask that she say's what is bothering her, even if she feels it will upset you, then see if a solution can be found.

[SarahLynn]

DO NOT under any cercumstances wear that dress again. It is her connection to the happiest day of her life. no matter what you have to do no matter what you have to give up for a time, do not revisit that except to talk about it. And you must talk. And talk, and talk.

To retain longevity in your marriage stay out of her clothes, and especially, away from that dress.

just my $0.02

SarahLynn

[dancinginthedark]

To us the wedding dress is about the ultimate in femme.
To the woman who wore it to her wedding it means so much more. [...]

I wasn't able to wear the dress of my dreams or even a wedding dress on my big day. I hope to do that on our 20th. But Kimberly has the jest of it. That dress represents so much more than just a feeling of femme. And that is why I still yearn to have one.

I have to echo everyone else, give her some time and space. Maybe you could ask her to try on her dress for you. Remind her what a beautiful bride she was and is.

Apologize since she seems hurt and confused by all of this. You don't have to understand why she is feeling that way but you do have to respect that she does.

Good luck

dancin

[MJ]

That wedding dress was her dress, and it represented a very special day in your wife's life. it was her day it was her dress and you just ruined that by wearing her dress ...

in her eyes you cross that line.. if i were you i would back off wayyyy off for sometime ...

just like dancin and others I too have to echo everyone else, give her some time and space. Maybe you could ask her to try on her dress for you. Remind her what a beautiful bride she was and is. and you better either cook something special or order in ..and a bottle of her favorite drink and give her back what you took away...

[Sally2005]

I agree with the special day thing. The problem with her seeing you in her dress was that she may have thought you looked better that she did...true or not...I think most women are 'funny that way'. For one day in her life she was the queen of the ball, she looked better than everyone (she even made sure she looked better than her bridemaids by making them wear matching outfits) and she spent all day getting ready. What you need to do now is tell her that you look crappy wearing her dress and female clothing...tell her you could never match how pretty and beautiful she is. And, on top of that, she married someone who looked like a guy...so you have to give her that part of you too!

[sputnik]

Everyone else has already said it being her dress. Though it's an important point, I won't press that any further.

I'd say it might be time to take a short break from going en femme as the two of you patch things up a bit.

You might find it a good idea to get your own clothes from here on in.

[TxKimberly]

. . . Maybe you could ask her to try on her dress for you. Remind her what a beautiful bride she was and is. . .

Apologize since she seems hurt and confused by all of this. You don't have to understand why she is feeling that way but you do have to respect that she does. . .

I think Dancin got it just right (hardly shocking I know).
I think it would be a good idea to remind her that you thought she was and is beautiful in it, your princess, your . . . err . . . don't use the word queen . . that might take her to a bad place. lol

Also as Dancin points out, it is not exactly required for you to understand the why of it for you to try and make it better. You already understand that in someway, you have made her unhappy. It wouldn't be a bad idea at all to tell her that you realize this and that you hadn't intended to bring her pain. You may be THINKING this, and ASSUMING that she understands this, but trust me on this - you sometimes must actually SAY these things to your wife. (they're funny that way!) ha ha ha

[ggtracy]

I agree with the others who said that wedding dress symbolized her special moment and to see you in it probably bought some issues to the surface that she may not have been prepared to think about.

regarding why she would agree to let you try on it in the first place. I can honestly say that if i see my SO eyeing something of mine then I will usually offer to let him try it on. not because I want to see him in it, but because i would rather know he is doing it than to imagine him raiding my closet trying on all my things when I am not home.

[Violet]

Dancin and Di said pretty much what I would have. I'll only add this: You wife might not understand herself what made her so uncomfortable about seeing you in her wedding dress. There are a bazillion times I've said to my partner, "I don't know why I feel like this. I just do."

It sounds like she's trying really hard to be supportive, so I would, like others said, ease up a little, give her some space and remind her how much you love her.

[dizzy]

Thank you everyone for your help and helping to shed some light on this. We finally did talk last night, I had tried multiple times to get her to talk, and she did not want to tell me what was wrong for a time but she finally did and she said she was mad because I did put her dress on, she was still not sure why she agreed to let me put it on in the first place but she thought I would not do it. So we agreed to call into work today so we could talk some more and spent some quality time together.

Today was great, I spent the day dressed to the nines, my dress, heels, makeup, jewerly, perfum, and she was dressed up just like me for most of the day, she got undressed and put on sweats after a few hours, she said she does not like being dressed up that much, but she let me stay dressed. She said she likes me dressed up and she is confused as to why she likes it so much, I told her she is not alone. She also confessed to being embaressed for liking it so much and also being embaressed for me because I like to dress, I would think the embaressment would go away with time, maybe. She did say it was ok for me to get dressed but said no to the wedding dress thing, I said I really did not want to wear it again because it did cause so much pain. Things seem to be back on track for us again. I did ask her if she would join a group of other women that are going through the same thing and she hesitated and then said maybe, so I will give her some time on that, I'll just keep reminding her that there are others in her shoes, so to speak.

Thanks everyone again and I sure love my wife.

[Violet]

dizzy, do let her know about this forum and that there's a private FAB (female at birth) forum for SOs to join. It might be a help for her, especially since it's online. The embarrassment factor is taken away to an extent.

It sounds like you do love you wife. It's nice to see that you were so sensitive to her feelings, and that you were so willing to communicate with her. I've said this a million times, and I will probably say it a million times more, but: communication is the most vital ingredient to a successful partnership!

[trisha59]

Glad to see that it work out . I started reading this post from the beginning and was wondering how it was going to end.

[Carin]

There is a sticky thread by Marla GG in the Loved ones forun called Now I Like It, Now I Don't well worth looking at.