Loss of sex-drive.

[LilSissyStevie]

I haven't lost much of my sex drive over the years (I'm 54) but I didn't start out with a lot. My wife has always had a much greater sex drive than me and she's 8 years younger than me, too. My libido has always been on the low side of normal for a guy and hers is greater than any woman I've ever known. That was a source of friction between us in the beginning because she, quite reasonably, expected me to be the "man" in the relationship. So, after the honeymoon was over and I started having "headaches" she took it personally.

We finally realized that neither of us were well suited to the roles that our culture assigned us. So we switched. She takes the lead in directing our sex life and I do whatever I can to please her whether I feel like it or not. She makes it interesting though. She's very aggressive sexually and I'm passive. She likes being in control, I don't. The funny part is that taking the submissive, passive role is a huge turn on for me and my sex drive is greater because of it.

[Kris Vasquez]

I'm 54 and I never have any sexual experiences en femme anymore but have a very good sex life with my wife as my male self.

[Nicole Marie]

Thank you to everyone for all of your wonderful, humorous, genuine and informative comments. I will certainly take it all under advisement and discuss it with my therapist.

[glynnis]

I reckon Im pretty lucky my sex drive is pretty high,mind you my wife is 17 years younger than me,Im 66,and that keeps me pretty spry.I find dressing en fem always gets me hot.

[AKAMichelle]

It happens. Years ago I read a book by Napoleon Hill called "Law of Success". I read the book in my early 20's and never understand everything in the book.

The one line that stuck out to me was - A man will never be successful until sex is not the most important thing in their life. In my early 20's I thought he was full of bunk. Now I understand as sex is no longer the most important thing in my life.

[MWCMDarlene]

I haven't lost any sex drive, nor ability, nor deisre. However, the wife and I haven't had any for almost 2 months. She will attribute it to my CDing, because she doesn't like it, but that isn't the case. I have moved out of the bedroom and have been sleeping on the hide-a-bed sofa for the past couple of months. There are some other issues, for one, we had an argument but I have gotten over that since then. Another issue is that I snore enough to cut down every tree in the Sahara Forrest and turn it into a desert. So I'm sleeping there to allow her to sleep at night. For if I'm snoring, she makes me move to the sofa, so, since I'm going to end up there anyway.....

If she were willing, I'd be more than happy to make love to her every day, but she doesn't have the drive or desire half as much as I do. Never did.

[charlie]

As others have said, I'm over 55 so some to the fire has ebbed. However, I also notice that when I dress for 4 days in a row, my drive decreases even more. I think there is a relationship between dressing and sexual activity. To much being and acting fem as opposed to acting like a regular male.

[michelleceedee]

Hi, 66 here and a life long vitamin freak. I still have sex 4-5 times a week. Vitamins, staying in shape and an active imagination + keeping the wardrobe up also help keep other things up! If you are healthy then sex is 90% mental!
I have heard one theory expressed by a CD friends doctor: As men age their testosterone production drops dramatically. His theory was that might explain enhanced interest in ones female side. If you read thru the feedback above an awful lot of you gurls have seen sex vanish. Odd coincidence or?

[Raquelle C]

The one line that stuck out to me was - A man will never be successful until sex is not the most important thing in their life. In my early 20's I thought he was full of bunk. Now I understand as sex is no longer the most important thing in my life.

Wow. I completely understand that statement. Being in my 20's, sex is almost always on my mind and sometimes a difficult distraction. I hope to maintain both a strong a sex drive and a strong focus on being successful. Interesting correlation none-the-less.

[paulaN]

I have always had a high sex drive. I still do at 51. I do need a longer recovery time. I don't seem to have any problem with once a day. Sometimes twice.

[LindaCD63yoNJ]

I am 63 and began to lose drive at 55. But, being dressed helps. I also find bdsm play helps me a lot as well

[FlygrlChristy]

Can't get it into gear? Maybe it's a trans problem. I'd also check the driveshaft.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I have never had a huge sex drive. I think part of the reason is due to the fact that while attracted to women, I mainly think about being them as opposed to being with them. I am also very passive sexually. Since I don't make many advances towards women they percieve that as not interested.

A line in a tv sitcom really hit home. 2 guys out at a bar. One is a player, the other never gets the girl. The player say to the other guy - you are like a 24hr convience store, when it come to getting women. You never close. Bad humor aside, I seem to fit the same description. I have no trouble meeting and talking to women. I never turn it into something more. I believe this has less to do with my ability to date women and perhaps more to do with limited sexual interest (in gerneral).

Gen

That was too funny Gen, as for the rest

Christy

[Nadia-Maria]

But, being dressed helps.

I think so.
I have two distinct sex drives with different sensations, undressed to my SO, and dressed solo.
Adding both up, I believe the bottom line is better than if I had only one unique drive.

[Miss Tessa]

I used to like to have sex alot when I was living male.

Now I don't care and usually let it just come to me and let sex be initiated by somebody else.

And I never liked men sexually before living as a woman.

[Joy Carter]

Due to personal reasons we gave up on sex. Not that we don't love each other. But I'd never go out on her as long as we are a couple.

[Bootsiegalore]

I have been uinterested in sex for a while. I do not know why. I am now 45 and a CD and it just does not interest me. My wife is frustrated and jumps me from time to time ..
Tara

[suzy cool]

I'm 98 and blame my lack of sex drive on being a CD.

[sometimes_miss]

I kind of wish it would go away, considering there's no one else to have sex with. I think it's part defense mechanism, the excitement of fantasies and complete focus on orgasm distract me from the real problem, a 'deficiency' in affection. Kind of the same thing that keeps many of us going out for one night stands when we're young, leaving the woman as soon as we're done, then feeling empty in the morning and repeating the same routine. Not getting the affection 'tank' filled always leaves us feeling like we want something, but don't know what it is. Our sex drive makes us horny, so we think it's that; try to satisfy that hunger, once done it often leaves us tired enough to sleep. Then we wake up and the pattern starts all over again.

[heidi99]

It seems a little similar to my former relational situations. I found that carrying around a secret hindered my performance. I came clean in the relationship with my wife, and it helped. Just my opinion.

[karynspanties]

I have the sex drive of a teenager. Now my wife.........that's a differant story.

[Carol Elizabeth]

At the age of 78, my Uncle Joe went to the doctor to see if the doctor could do something to lower my Uncle Joe's sex drive.

The doctor told him,

"Joe, your sex drive is all in your head!"

My Uncle Joe said,

"Yes, I know it's all in my head. That's why I want you to lower it!"

Sorry!

CE

[docrobbysherry]

While still married, over 10 years ago, we stopped having sex the last 2 years together. For years before that, it had required her to kick start my motor anyway.

After separating, I had lost all interest in sex AND women. Since I was over 50 at the time, I thot it was old age. Maybe with some help from the prostate meds I've been taking for over 10 years.

About 8 years ago, I found that CDing was raising my libido, ( and other things), considerably!

I'm now over 60. Sex is on my mind now more than ever! Either alone with my fantasies, in my morning shower, or as my live fantasy woman, Sherry!

From experience I can tell u, SEX IS ALL IN YOUR MIND!

[KarenSusan]

I'm 62 and haven't had sex in about 30 years and don't miss it at all.

[Miss Tessa]

I agree with Myrna.


Estrogen does not suppress sex drive and neither does androgyne/testosterone blockers like Spironolactone.

I am on those for almost two years and what I noticed is no loss in sex drive, but a development of a female sex drive.

To me, the observations I have made about myself and how it has effected me is that I don't seek out or initiate sex often at all. I just let it come to me. Part of this is purely psychological for both TS and women and some CD's because the transformation makes you pretty and attractive and you no longer are the one seeking out sex because so much of it comes straight to you.

I also notice that instead of having a primal male sex drive like wanting to penetrate and thrust a lot, I am more sensual and take lovemaking much slower and savor it.

[Janicejane]

Like many have related my sex drive when younger was like a perpetual motion machine, never more than a thought away. I am a smoker but also quite physically active, even though now classed as 30% disabled. I have I guess many more responsibilities and the stress factor in life is higher. I don't find any difference in sex drive whether dressed enfemme or not. I just find now that it takes an awful lot longer. My staying power was always very good, now it takes forever and my wife has sometimes had to stop me because of dryness. I believe we are still very much in love and this helps to keep the sex thing at bay as she knows it can take so long. I'm now nearly 50 and have no idea how much longer I have left on this planet so I'll certainly aim to enjoy my life that I have and whether sex features in it or not I'll be happy.

Janice
xxx