im scared
hi girls im in a right pickle .
i discovered that im a closet cd about 3 years ago but only in my wifes clothes mainly her shoes (god that feels good to say out loud) well last year i told her and she went mad and was not happy well i have hidden most of my feeling from her now but its eating me up in side i dont know what to do i want to tell har but i think im gonna lose herany ideas of how i could make things easyer ???? also this site is an insperation i love it !!!
Good Luck.
You are not alone.
Things will always work out.
This is a great place for support.
God Luck. . . I know this is tough.
I think it''s a "We've got to have a talk" and you lay it right out
and see what happens!
Talking it out is probably the best option you have.
Zara
(Formerly known everywhere as Lady Zarabeth
and be sure to point out that you haven't changed, you're still the same person she fell in love with. This is simply another facet of you that for your personal well being needs to be expressed. this is not a disease, not a mental disorder or condition that can be "cured" you just happen to have a strong feminine side that needs to see daylight every now and then.
hope this helps & everything works out for the best
“While clothes may not make the woman, they certainly have a strong effect on her self-confidence — which, I believe, does make the woman."
Mary Kay Ashe
wow u r all great but im not sure that the talk will work and if i do talk im gonna be single but reading different stories on this site its helping me see that if she cant be understanding then maybe theres som1 else out there waiting for meagain it good to finaly have som1 to talk to about my true feelings thanks so much
XXxxXXxxXX
One thing my therapist suggested that I never got to try out, was to come up with something positive about this for her. If you've ever dreamed about wearing a pretty maid's outfit, you can offer to regularly do the domestic chores if she'll help you dress that way. I'm alone now, but my house used to be a mess. Now, once a week I become the maid, and my house is spotless. I actually enjoy doing all those little chores when I'm dressed the part, and can feel just a little bit like a girl when I'm doing it. And I'm a little happier because of it. If you haven't already, you can explore shopping for clothes and shoes with her (FOR HER, if she enjoys it. Don't make it so much about you. If she can see some advantages in you liking to dress up, she's more likely to tolerate it, and maybe even like it. Good luck.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
The loved ones section would is a good place to start looking for some answers hun
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...splay.php?f=66
and this thread in there is good
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=90231
and a word of advice from a GG .... leave her things alone nothing good will come of it if she finds you have been using her stuff especially after her intial reaction
Last edited by Sheila; 11-06-2008 at 05:48 AM.
I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me
Talk to her. By all means let her know you love her.See if you can get her to this forum so she can talk to other GG's and maybe understand your needs better hun.
Angie
First as others have mentioned, you need to get your own cloths. Her cloths are off limits. Her boundry. Let her know that you are still the same person and that you love her. If you have read on this site for any length of time you know you are not alone and that there are many here who fully understand and care.
Joni
"Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan
Explain to her that your relationship is not threatened. (Her biggest worry maybe...)
You love her, if you sincerely do. And you should show it-- by your life with her.
Then two situations potentially. She will put up with your dressing--as long as she never sees you dressed. Or she will want you to stop.
I think most--if not all dressers, do not believe it is possible to stop, once you start. Even if intermittently, you will probably continue.
I hope that's some use. Go carefully......
Sonia
Originally Posted by prene
No offence but I think this is a rather sweeping statement and not really the case.
Xx Vicky xX
Hi Craig
You might like to read the link in my signature on telling your partner
It has a lot of good advice
the best you can do is tell her how you truly feel. if she loves you then she will find a way to make this work.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
You've been given some good advise, mostly a long the lines of talking to her. I would also let her know that she is not alone, that there is plenty of women in a happy relationship with a man that cds.
Show her this site and some of the response from the GGs here, Oh and one other thing do get your own clothes.
Sandra
Administrator
I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs
R.I.P Rianna
Hi Craig,
I'd say, give her another chance before you start looking elsewhere! I freaked out when I first found out about my husband as well, but over time and with helpful information, I was able to become an accepting wife. Make sure you give her time and space, let her know about this site and other resources that she can read on her own time. She just may come around, but it's not going to happen if you keep it to yourself, and it's not going to help your marriage, carrying this around on you shoulders all the time. You may not even realize that the secret is affecting you, but no doubt, it is. Good luck
I agree Craig, It has to be a pretty big shocker for a wife to hear.
There are a million questions that imidiately come to mind and none can good.
I finally dropped the bomb on my wife about 7 yrs ago. At first she was completely removed, but after a lot of talking and providing her with research and a couple of books to read she began to understand. Today she is understanding supportive (and lets me borrow her cloths when ever I want!)
Good luck
Alison
So your wife now allows you to wear her clothes,after she read about CD's? Your
very lucky? I have to carefully raid mothers closet,just to wear her good mini skirts&
tops,heels.Sometimes I even dress in her good pantssuits and skirtsuits,as well,but I
order undies and pantyhose out of her womans catalogs
Frankly, immike, your remark is not much help at this point. If craig wants an honest relationship with the wife that includes CDing, then borrowing her clothes in secret is out of the question.
craig, you should probably go slow with buying your stuff at present, but make it clear that it will be your own wardrobe in future. Who knows, she might enjoy buying things with you.
[SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]
Just be honest with her answer any questions she may have and let her come to terms with it. Also showing her this site and that other GG's have been able to enjoy this side of their partner may help her.
At this point, I am brand new. I love my wife and love our relationship, would love to be able to be honest with her, but the thought of telling her terrifies me and, at least at this point, I don't believe our relationship would survive it.
Marriages always go through rough stretches, and easy times, too!
U must communicate how u feel to your SO's. Then, they'll understand, at least. Accepting is something else!
U must listen to them, too. Then, U will understand their worries and fears.
No one said marraige was easy!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
She knows that you have dressed, that is a fact that is unchangeable. Does she not suspect that you have not changed ? I imagine it is at theback of her mind, somewhere. Therefore I would say talk. First thing though make yourself very certain sure of your future intentions as regards dressing and consider also a compromise by both of yo, rather than just hiding.
.
'Kerriana "Samantha.....i feel like I'm hearing her through fractured glass.. She makes sense if you kinda squint"
Craig,
You've gotten a lot of good advice from the girls on this forum, and this is one heck of a place for a lot of support, for both you and your wife. I'll just add my two cents, please talk to her, honestly, tears are good, but at the same time try not to overwhelm her with how you feel, this will take time for her to learn to accept that this is a part of you that has been hidden from her. That trust has been broken, and it will take some time to repair it, it can be done. Be gentle, and good luck, I've been there myself, so if you need to talk pm, me.
Christy
You already told her but now you're trying to decide if you should tell her? What are you trying to say?
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