Almost told my girlfriend

[kdalt2000]

Last night I was laying in bed with my girlfriend and finally almost told her my secret. Of course at the last minute I chickened out and said nothing. So instead of telling her, I will do the next best thing and just post here. Part of me wants to tell her, but part of me wants to keep this a secret. Like everyone else, I am extremely paranoid over what her reaction will be. One reason that I want to tell her is that I have not dressed up in YEARS and it is drivng me mad. Of course if she is accepting, for the first time in my life I can actually purchase some lingerie, heels, my own make up, and other necessary dressing items. On the other hand, she could just leave me and run screaming to the hills.

I am getting more confused on a daily basis. Almost every day I go online and build a wardrobe of female clothing and shoes, but am never able to complete my purchase. Somehow I feel that maybe I should just show her and not just tell her. Until I am finally able to come out of the closet I will just have to hide my fantasies and stick to my virtual wardrobe.

[zoii]

I say, take the plunge, which I guess is easy for me, because I already did it, and my then girlfriend is now my wife. Not everyone is going to be as accepting and supportive as she has been, but if you don't tell her, it will burn you up inside.

[Vivian Chen]

[SIZE="2"]You should probably tell her.[/SIZE]

[jazmine]

Go ahead and tell her. What the hell. If you ever marry her, you should tell her before you propose. For a lot of woman this is a deal breaker, but you have to give her that option, on such an integral part of your soul.

[kdalt2000]

There are so many factors contributing to my fear. It doesnt help that I am the size of a linebacker and and being 6'8 in size 14 stillettos isnt my idea of feminine.

[Trista]

You should tell her. I was so glad when my SO told me. I had a general idea he may be a CD but I was a little unsure. I would find hints around the house like finding one of my nighties on the floor when I got home from work. So I brought up the subject one evening and he spilled! I am totally accepting and I love it.

[Lisa Elaine]

You definitely owe it to yourself and your girlfriend to tell her. It could be the start of something wonderful! And if not, well, better to tell her now than years into a marriage when the consequences are much greater. I recently took the plunge with my girlfriend, and things got off to a rocky start but she's starting to relax about all of it. Open and honest communication is usually the best way to go in my experience.

(and yes, it was quite a few months before I was able to bring up the subject to her, too...)

[Sheila]

as a GG who discovered rather than being told, I would advise the telling, over the discovery route everytime.

There is very little info to go on, how long have you been in your present relationship, how committed is the relationship . if you are in a committed relationship, then if I was your partner I need to know (used the word need over want deliberately ...... she may not want to .... but I believe she has the right to disclosure of known facts,that could seriously change the course of your relationship (and it may either way bad or good))

Just my 2cents

[Brandiwvr]

what Sheila said, get some books on the subject or online support material can make the tellin easier, and the writen word for a tramatized person can settle them down. and she may choose to be a freind for a while. which you need to shoot for either way. acceptance is the answer either way.
Brandi

[ReineD]

Have you seen the sticky at the top of the M2F section, How to Tell Your Partner.

I hope you will find the courage to tell your gf. You run the risk of negatively impacting your relationship if you do not. First, you owe it to yourself to be true to who you are. And second, she will eventually sense there is something you are not telling her, and she may imagine the worst.

[Angela-Russell]

I know from my own experience that it's very difficult, but I think if you're going to carry on with your relationship you should tell your girlfriend. It took an awful lot of Dutch courage(alcohol) for me to tell my girlfriend(now my wife), but we're still together after more than 20 years. I can only wish you good luck, & hope everything works out the best for both of you.

[Raven Wynter Rayne]

Talk to Her,open and honest, the sooner the better. Yes You may risk Her "running to the hills" but it would be far better now than latter, She has a right to know before You are married and have kids. This is a big point of trust, the longer You wait the longer You lie, and it will not get better!! 10 to 1 She loves You not what You wear, Yes She may place limits but You may be able to dress as You wish at times, or She may be one of the few that will enjoy dressing You! In My case My wife is ok with Me dressing but does not wish to see it, however She does buy Me clothes, shoes or make up as I wish!!! Best of luck!!!

[MJ]

you'll never know if you don't try...plus it's not about your size but how you feel. best of luck

[Shelly67]

Because it pains you I bet youre sending out tense signals......she maybe picking them up and worrying, could even be confused by youre behaviour.
I think you cant really go on denying you to yourself either.
Perhaps if you touched on the subject , say you saw a convincing cd ( magazine or on the television ) chat about it and guage her reaction.
If it looks positive , sit her down , be calm , be brave , but most of all be supportive to her . Then tell her. Hold nothing back , but please give her chance to talk and ask questions. Show her total support . Most of all she needs to know nothings changed and you still love her . By doing this , it will certainly show and hopefully she,ll realise that by coming clean to her , you really trust her . Show her just how much.
I,d prepare for a myriad of emotions on both of youre behalfs , but if youre meant to be , then stick at it . If not , well , try to be calm . be amicable if you can at least.
It takes guts , lots of sit down heart to hearts , crying even , but if youre open and honest no matter what the outcome it can never be held against you that you were lying . She,ll respect that .
And after all ,thats what we all hate the most . Lies .
Good luck x

[AKAMichelle]

It took me 24+ years to tell my wife. That didn't go very well. We have been separated since June.

However, I have told 3 other females and all three accepted. One of them go out with me dressed. In fact she has been out with me only twice as a male, but almost 15 times as Michelle. I told a woman the other night in about 10 minutes of talking privately with her. It gets easier the more comfortable you get with who you are.

[serinalynn]

I say you better tell her because she's gonna find out sooner or later and it's gonna be better for you in the long run if you tell her now. Who knows, she might actually want to see you dressed as a woman and if she doessn't she'll tell you and then you can look for a new girl friend. Some folks in this forum have actually found GG's that like their BF's dressed as women.

[kim85]

I would say just tell her if you cant do it face to face then write her a letter or an email. Just dont forget that she may need time to process it and that there will be many questions asked. What made it easier for me to accept is that my SO hadnt been dressing so it wasnt done behind my back. Know that you are amoung friends here and we will all try to help the best we can

Kim

[DAWNB]

Going along with most of the posts it would be best she finds out now. My wife found my few items back in the mid 90's and I thought I was a goner. I hadn't told her and feel now that if I had it would have been better to lose her at the beginning then to get into my marriage and lose her. We are still together. Especially with kids involved. Right now a good part of the family knows and some have seen me dressed. No real bad opinions and they just go along as they know that I am into it and have found it hard to break off doing it. I have talked to the wife and we set a few rules but they aren't real heavy. No wearing under my male clothes when we go to church is one. Again I feel it's best to let things out up front then to wait and lose down the road. Since going onto this site I feel a lot different then when I didn't have a way to voice things. I respect those that are on this site and value their opinions

[Alicia_lynn419]

Yes you should tell her.. an no.. there's not guarantee that will she accept it. But from my experience, being brave enough to confide in her about something so deeply personal... I'd like to think it ups the chances for a positive reaction. ONE WORD OF CAUTION THOUGH>>>

When I told my ex wife, (then GF) about Allie.. she responded pretty well.. was even encouraging quite often. I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. I was like a kid in a candy store knowing I could now buy clothes and make up, etc, without having to worry about it. But what this lesson taught me.. even if your SO is "accepting", don't go too far, too soon. She may accept this side of you, but she will still need time to really wrap her head around it. Go slow, and don't lose sight of the MAN she loves.

[HappyErica]

Tell, the secret will eat you up if you get much more involved. I should have told my wife but she found my stuff by accident, which I was not hiding too hard, almost wanting to get caught.. She was totally ok with it, with a few rules though, which is fine with me.