last night was my first Bi experience!!!!!!

[brandi141]

well girls i posted thing last week bout meetin some other cd's this weekend and actually they blew me off until last night i went to ones house. i got dressed as brandi and went over not knowin what i was goin to do. well what started out as a back rub and a movie turned into more. It was fun but at same time since im not attracted to guys i had this thing in back of my mind "this is still a guy alic" even though she was totally a girl by looks. A pretty one too. Im not sure if i ever do it again cause it was just really different and awkward a bit. I really enjoyed the back rub. lol he works for a salon and went to beauty school and took masache lessons. thanks for all the support girls.

[Miss Tessa]

You were both in girl mode. That is a lesbian experience.

If you like women and TG girls while you are in your male self, and you do something with one while YOU are dressed en femme, then you are a STRAIGHT GUY.

So you did not have sex with a guy that was a women because she was in femme.

That's different from a MAN. Trust me.

I consider MYSELF bi because I like women of all types (GG's and TG) and I like certain, few young men.

[cd_britney_426]

This sounds like one of those cases where gender and sex are two obviously different things. While "he" was male by sex, she was female by gender. I consider myself bi because I have attractions to both genders and sexes. How you describe the experience or what you consider yourself is up to you. Everyone has different tastes and experiences. I was in a relationship for a good amount of time with a MTF non-op transsexual. Even though we were both males by sex, I never saw her as male and it always felt like a heterosexual experience. This stuff can be confusing when you first experience it because our society has constructed barriers on sex and gender identity which people like us violate. Good to hear you had a great experience. Britney

[Janice1948]

Dear Brandi,

I sometimes think we go way to far in trying to put labels on things. Reminds me of the political correct world we live in, unfortunately. I'm of the opinion that what matters is whether or not you were comfortable and enjoyed yourself. It does sound like you have some serious reservations. Your next experience (assuming you have one) could be totally different. Personally I have been dating other CD's for five years and always get excited and look forward to the next one. I've met some wonderful people.

Hugs, Janice

[lari]

Sound like you had a good time and you have now anserewed some questions for yourself

[Miss Tessa]

Gender is on a spectrum, not a binary dichotomy like most of us who are educated about gender and sex and the difference know that.

So that being said, how can relations be labeled as "gay" or "straight" if each individual is somewhere more or less feminine than other people on the spectrum?

I'm bi because I like women (including AND ESPECIALLY TG women) and I like men too.
But due to what I said above that about gender being on a spectrum, it is just a label. Because some persons who we think are masculine enough in role to be considered male are more masculine while others are more feminine, and same with persons labeled as female are labeled such because they present as a woman's role, even though some are more feminine or masculine than others.


What I discovered about myself is these taboo barriers and baracades we socially place on ourselves and eachother doesn't matter because of what I have stated.

What is important is that you know and accept yourself for the people you feel attracted to being sexual with.

That is what I have found out about myself because at a time in my life I was living as a man who suppressed my own self so much I didn't even like Transgirls. Then I found one I liked that turned me onto them, then I transitioned, and after transition and hormones and being hit on so much by men, I began to feel attracted to them. So now I like just about any gender as long as I feel attracted to the person.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Hi Brandi....

I saw your thread and felt I had to sit down and respond to it....

First of all I have to note that there are only 4 responses here, but over 500+ looks at this thread. That tells me that there's a lot of us girls out there that are interested in what you had to say. The seocnd point I have to say is that I am bi myself and have been for many years. So that being the case let me make a few comments.

The first comment is this....Being the first time that you have been woth a guy is going to be at best OK and more often very awkward to say the least. You are crossing over a boundry that society has put down to say "this isn't acceptable...it's taboo"...!!!!! So as you cross over into the realm of sexuality your going to bring with you a ton of uncertanity and feelings that what your doing is wrong.....that's a normal reaction.

So what you should really be asking yourself now is this...how did I like it???? how did I feel???? do I want to do it again? Depending on your answers to yourself (and I think you'll be truthful to yourslef in answering them) you'll know if you'll be open to trying it again or not....

In time if you do do it again, and depending on what you do when your with a guy , you'll know whether you'r the "female or the male" or "both" in these relationship....

I have to say, that you being dressed and she being dressed although on the surface would make you both "female" and thus your in a F-F sexual encounter which would make it gay/lesbian...the fact is your both guys....and as such it's still gay/homsexual....period. Now you may have taken the female role and he the male role to make it appear that it was infact a hetrosexual experience....and that's all well and fine....but it's still gay sex.

If in time you decide that your into this lifestyle that's great...like I said been into it for 20+ years....and for me my role is strictly female with a guy and thats where I want to be....but for me being bi is the best of both worlds....but it took me a while to come to the realization of exactly what it meant to me to be with a guy and come to the clarity of my sexuality and what it all meant ot me to be bi...I know I liked it after the third time I was with a guy and when I lost my virginity....an experience that to me was equal to the first time with female....that was what I had to really dwell on and decide exactly why it felt so great to me....after all I was doing something that a large population of straingt peole would say was wrong....but then I had to decide why it felt so right doing it....and that's when I came to the realization that within me were two genders...one male and the other female and bing with a guy was the way that my female gender could enjoy a sexual experience as a female with a guy....just like my male side enjoy being with a female...so once I was able to coem to this realization that I had two genders and each one enjoyed sex in a special way it was OK in my world and I truly was enjoying the best of both worlds....not everyone can come to this place in their lives...but for those of us who can, it's truly a special place to be bi-sexual....

I don't advocate it or dismiss it for anyone...it's a personal choice for one to experiement or not and once they do experience it to decide whether to try it again or not.....generally if you have the right partners after the 3rd time you'll have a pretty good ide where your going to go with this....

Best of luck to you and give me a holler if you'd like to boucne any thoughts off me...

Stephanie

[DemonicDaughter]

You were both in girl mode. That is a lesbian experience.

If you like women and TG girls while you are in your male self, and you do something with one while YOU are dressed en femme, then you are a STRAIGHT GUY...

Gender is on a spectrum, not a binary dichotomy like most of us who are educated about gender and sex and the difference know that.

So that being said, how can relations be labeled as "gay" or "straight" if each individual is somewhere more or less feminine than other people on the spectrum?

[SIZE="3"]
Aren't you contradicting yourself? Didn't you just label the experiences as "gay" and "straight" then post how someone can do the same thing? Can I ask what someone being "more or less feminine than other people" has to do with a relationship being gay or straight? You do not need one person to be more masculine and the other more feminine for the dynamics of a relationship to exist.

Gender and sexuality are two different subjects entirely, and both on a spectrum. I don't think its a matter of attire that determines someone's sexuality, if one was dressed as a cat does that mean one of them is into bestiality? If sexuality is on a spectrum, then things like presentation are far from the determining factor as to where they are on that spectrum.

As for the original post... don't ruin a wonderful moment by trying to analyze it, pick it a part and decide what it might or might not have been. It sounds to me like you are broadening your horizons and making a few self discoveries along the way. Kudos to you!!!
[/SIZE]

[Janie Gunn]

DemonicDaughter, I totally agree with you

Gender and sexuality are two different subjects entirely

. It seems that sometimes this gets misconstrued with trying to over-analyze the whole thing. No matter what the correct label may be for it, what matters is how much you enjoyed the experience, and whether it was enough to ever try it again.

Janie

[Miss Tessa]

I'm not contridicting myself because I did indeed make light of the fact that sex and gender are different, and also the fact that labels are not as relevant and important as society leads you to believe.

I made all those points.

But for lack of better,short, and terse ways of describing one's sexual preferences, gender, and physical sex, we DO place labels on stuff because society as a whole has not evolved to the state of consciousness in which we no longer need labels for things.

Maybe when we have a super fast internet connected in everbody's brains telepathically, we can then do away with labels and everybody would have a better idea of what other people mean rather than having to describe things in such short,limiting, and confusing labels.

[joann426]

i can relate to that some people like vanilla and some like cholate some like sweets if it feels what you like just do it just doooooo it nobody wood care any way

[Michelia]

"If you don't go. you won't know"

You worked up the courage to go through with it. And if you enjoyed it that is what matters. Whether it is gay or bisexual or not is really not important. The bottom line is those are all terms coined by humans that polarize gender and sexuality. As we know, those lines can be very blurry.

[DemonicDaughter]

I'm not contridicting myself because I did indeed make light of the fact that sex and gender are different, and also the fact that labels are not as relevant and important as society leads you to believe.

[SIZE="3"]I'm just stating that you labeled the situation as lesbian, defined what would be considered straight then later asked how could someone label the relationships gay or straight. You many not have meant it as it was stated but that's how I read it and therefore requested clarification. [/SIZE]

But for lack of better,short, and terse ways of describing one's sexual preferences, gender, and physical sex, we DO place labels on stuff because society as a whole has not evolved to the state of consciousness in which we no longer need labels for things.

Maybe when we have a super fast internet connected in everbody's brains telepathically, we can then do away with labels and everybody would have a better idea of what other people mean rather than having to describe things in such short,limiting, and confusing labels.

[SIZE="3"]
And I highly doubt we ever will evolve to a place where we won't label things. I just hope we eventually find more accurate descriptions that are more universally accepted.[/SIZE]

[MJ]

thank you for posting your experiences. at least your brave enough to do so.

[CharlotteSomers]

IMO - Who cares if it's gay, bi, straight, lesbian...whatever. If you like it and it feels good, enjoy it!

[Chrissy8888]

Allot of good advice has been given here. Just from my very limited experience the first time you are in a situation like this it is awkward, different, strange, and new. My first time I was concerned that I would be a basket case. When I walked away I was actually neutral about the whole subject. Although the man I was with knew I CD’d for the encounter I was in drab. So that took away one barrier but also put up another. I will someday again try it again but that is because after reflecting up on it I feel that I want to.

Simply put I needed some self reflection on the whole thing. I did that and realized that is just part of who I am and what I want and I can’t let anybody else dictate that. All of that being said I believe in total monogamy so if there was a significant other in the picture I would not engage in cheating just to fulfill my personal needs. BTW I consider my self bi-curious.

[MsJanessa]

well darling welcome to the club and it's a big one---I wouldn't be too concerned about any labels others put on it---If you enjoy sex when en femme with other T-Gurls(and for Me and others that's the best kind) by all means go for it xoxo Janessa

[Angel.Marie76]

IMO - Who cares if it's gay, bi, straight, lesbian...whatever. If you like it and it feels good, enjoy it!

I second that vote. All in Favor??

[Waits for AYEs]

:

[brandi141]

well had my third experienc and it was with same person. lost my virginity all over again and that crossed the line. im done with my bi experiences and callin it quits. i just dont enjoy it like i thought and not attracted to men at all so that doesnt help one bit. thanks ladies for all the advice really. i just stick to bein straight male that likes women.

[jenniferverobch]

Sometimes a bi experience will happen when you least expect it. I went to a central FL crossdressing shop to look at a pair of breast forms. I asked to try on a pair of breastforms and told the male sales clerk that I had a bra in my car. I tried on the breastforms and received excellent customer assistance.

[Shannen]

Well, this thread has been bothering me, and I guess it should be OK for me to post my feelings here. I would like to advocate love instead of sex.

well girls i posted thing last week bout meetin some other cd's this weekend and actually they blew me off until last night i went to ones house. i got dressed as brandi and went over not knowin what i was goin to do. well what started out as a back rub and a movie turned into more. It was fun but at same time since im not attracted to guys i had this thing in back of my mind "this is still a guy alic" even though she was totally a girl by looks. A pretty one too. Im not sure if i ever do it again cause it was just really different and awkward a bit. I really enjoyed the back rub. lol he works for a salon and went to beauty school and took masache lessons. thanks for all the support girls.

I really was sad to read that you had just met someone, who then proceded to give you the "blow-off" all week, and yet you still pursued an encounter with them. This is not friendship, much less anything near an intimate knowledge of each other. I hope that in the future you place more worth on yourself and what you have to offer. You can enrich others lives through the friendship you have to offer!

I don't advocate it or dismiss it for anyone...it's a personal choice for one to experiement or not and once they do experience it to decide whether to try it again or not.....generally if you have the right partners after the 3rd time you'll have a pretty good idea where your going to go with this....

Best of luck to you and give me a holler if you'd like to boucne any thoughts off me...

Stephanie

Stephanie gives a good description of the process she feels someone will go through to find their sexuality. She doesn't advocate it, just describes it, so I'm not "bashing" her for her description, OK?

I don't understand that way of life. ".....generally if you have the right partners after the 3rd time you'll have a pretty good idea where your going to go with this...." ??? I have one partner and have had one and and will have one for life. I'll go as far as to advocate that as what makes a stable emotional and physical relationship.

thank you for posting your experiences. at least your brave enough to do so.

Yes indeed! Very brave! I just hope your bravery doesn't cause you sleepless nights as you lie awake wondering if your sexual encounter brought along any new "friends" that you might need a prescription for.

well had my third experienc and it was with same person. lost my virginity all over again and that crossed the line. im done with my bi experiences and callin it quits. i just dont enjoy it like i thought and not attracted to men at all so that doesnt help one bit. thanks ladies for all the advice really. i just stick to bein straight male that likes women.

I can only wonder if spending time with a man romantically would have been enough? Did you have to cross that line? Wasn't that little voice saying "This is still a man!" enough to convince you that you were still uncomfortable?

I don't want to beat up on you, the wording of your post leads me to believe you might be experiencing some buyers remorse today. I'm just pointing out another viewpoint. Maybe you wouldn't have crossed that line if you had gotten responses the other day that said you didn't have to.1

Sometimes a bi experience will happen when you least expect it. I went to a central FL crossdressing shop to look at a pair of breast forms. I asked to try on a pair of breastforms and told the male sales clerk that I had a bra in my car. I tried on the breastforms and received excellent customer assistance.

...and thank you Jennifer... isn't there some other forum where you can brag about your random sexual encounter that the support group for crossdressers and their SO's?

I am tolerant of those that feel they are gay/bisexual, but I think there are better ways of figuring that out. I advocate getting to know someone before having sex with them.

[MarciManseau]

IMO - Who cares if it's gay, bi, straight, lesbian...whatever. If you like it and it feels good, enjoy it!

I couldn't agree more with Charlotte and Angel.Marie. Forget about gender roles and just have fun That's what I've been doing since I was with a boy when was 13, for the first time, en femme of course. Wohoo!

[Janie Gunn]

...and thank you Jennifer... isn't there some other forum where you can brag about your random sexual encounter that the support group for crossdressers and their SO's?

I am tolerant of those that feel they are gay/bisexual, but I think there are better ways of figuring that out. I advocate getting to know someone before having sex with them.

Huh?... And are you some kind of authority on the matter, Shannen?!
Jennifer's story is as relevant as the others described in this thread, (she didnt make a graphic description of it)! C'mon!


Janie

[Sarah_GG]

My fault perhaps. I noticed that Jennifer had also enjoyed a wife's panties experience with her SO and was also posting about a bi experience. Now, call me old-fashioned, but I just wondered how accepting Jennifer's wife might be... not of the crossdressing, but the bi experience. Of course, they may have an open, non-exclusive relationship that suits them both and I may well be speaking out of turn!

[Shannen]

Huh?... And are you some kind of authority on the matter, Shannen?!
Jennifer's story is as relevant as the others described in this thread, (she didnt make a graphic description of it)! C'mon!


Janie

no authority, just taking my turn on expressing my opinions... I'm not sure where I was wrong... random sex was "alleged" and I don't feel this is a random sex forum, regardless of what this thread is about, the forum intent overides it...

My fault perhaps. I noticed that Jennifer had also enjoyed a wife's panties experience with her SO and was also posting about a bi experience. Now, call me old-fashioned, but I just wondered how accepting Jennifer's wife might be... not of the crossdressing, but the bi experience. Of course, they may have an open, non-exclusive relationship that suits them both and I may well be speaking out of turn!

hmmmm.... why would we want to consider what a loving spouse has to say around here.... it's not in the spirit of the topic to talk about those things...

I think Brandi had a genuine desire to find out where her sexuality is at. I think she went about it the wrong way. I think she was hurt during that process. I want to present an alternative to prevent future hurts to her or anyone else who is contemplating similar actions.

It's so nice for me to be tolerant of those who are proponents of casual sex, why can't you reciprocate? I hope we don't sink into the prop 8 violence that the news channels love to carry every evening. You talk, I talk, people decide.