Why is it important to you to "pass" as a woman?

[BeckyAnderson]

Having dressed for well over 50 years, I never really thought of trying to actually "pass" myself off as a woman. For all these years as a crossdresser I have always strived to be myself and to present myself as tastefully as I could and that includes not only the clothes but hair and makeup. I am not trying to pass as a woman I am just exercising my dersire to dress as a woman and being maticulous about my appearance. A man trying to actually pass himeself off as a woman (even right down to attempting to attain a feminine voice) has really opened up a new chapter of curiousity for me and perhaps, even, a learning experience.

"Why is it so important to you as a "crossdresser" to "pass" as a woman?"

[StaceyJane]

For me it's because deep down I want to be a woman.

Stacey

[Deanna2]

As with many things in life many people have many different reasons for doing the things they do.

For me it is a case of just liking to wear a skirt and other soft clothing in which I can relax and be comfortable.

[MsJanessa]

It's not terribly importand that I "pass"--what is important is that I look as good as I possibly can---I would rather be thought of as a beautiful, stunning CD than as a plain GG---most of the gurls here, when they talk of passing usually mean to pass as a beautiful lady-- but that is not usually the case for most cds who "pass"-some of the most passable cds I know look very plain as women, but still pass as women nonetheless due in part to not calling a lot of attention to themselves. When nobody looks once, let alone twice, at you, passing is easy.

[Karren H]

Its not really important.. And it's more important for me to look as good as I can.. Not that I pass that well but hey....... I enjoy my time out and about enfemme.. And it's fun.... After all that's what crossdressing should be .... Fun!!

[Nadia-Maria]

I never really thought of trying to actually "pass" myself off as a woman.
(...)
"Why is it so important to you as a "crossdresser" to "pass" as a woman?"

You asked an excellent question.

As for me, the most important is to feel inside femme.
It's a very personal feeling.
As a rule, I don't like to "pass" as a woman at all, because I don't like to fool others, or to lie to them. That's why I don't disguise my voice when enfemme.
In fact, I prefer to pass unnoticed by others.

But I love to be pictured as the most convincing woman I can, on an internet site where it is clear for everybody that I'm just a crossdresser.

I like looking at myself (in the mirror and on the pictures) as a somewhat convincing femme, because it reinforces my feeling as femme.

[sometimes_miss]

I've had to face the facts that it is not important to me. It can't be, because it will never happen. The best I can ever hope for is to be accepted as a straight guy who really, really likes being pretty. The only passing I can hope for will be that the lunatics will pass on making any rude comments about me, and pass me by when they are out in a group looking to 'beat up on the weirdo'.

[Michaella]

At one time I would have said it was not at all important to me, because I never went out in public. But I wanted to try it, just to be able to say I had not let the opportunity pass. And then I realized it was important to me because passing, if I could do it, would give me the freedom to wear feminine clothes in a way that I could not otherwise do. As a male wearing a skirt -- something I had done a number of times -- I still did not feel comfortable wearing other items usually considered feminine at the same time, for fear of attracting ridicule. As a male I could, in certain circumstances, be casually accepted with one or two items of feminine attire at a time, but presenting as a female I could wear the full range of things that I like -- a dress, high heels, nylons, nail polish, etc -- without it being that big a deal, so long as I fit into the time and place. I think, I think, I was able to do it for the most part. Even if I was read as male by some, and I know that most people did not notice at all, there was no fuss made, while as clearly male and dressed like that I would have created a stir.

Michaella

[DanaGlendenning]

Being one that could not pass on a dark night, the abilty to pass is a dream I've long had...........when I am dressed at home or in a motel room laid over, I'd love to be able to go out and enjoy myself.....but the fear of ridicule is just to much to overcome.........I have often thought of visiting a professional make over service, but the money never seems to be there.....and being an OTR driver, along with living in a small town does not lend to being able to join support groups........maybe moving to Silverton OR would be an answer

Dana

[suchacutie]

A few years ago my wife and I recognized that I have certain feminine traits in thought patterns and modes of organization that I turned on and off without really thinking about it. At the same time we noticed that I have certain physical traits that are feminine as well (lol but certain masculine physical traits that are a darned pain to cover!). At that point we agreed that I would investigate this feminine side. Well, how to do that? We started with the physical appearance we all talk about so much here from walking in heels to all of the details of feminine dress, makeup, body language, etc. At the same time, however, the more detailed mental issues came up, such as my male side wanting to "solve" problems, while my wife explained to Tina that she really wanted to discuss them, not solve them! This rush to solve was soooo male. That opened Pandora's box. What else does my male self do that my female self should not expect as natural? It is this conversation that we are having now, and it's an immense issue that I see before me if I am really to be able to transition from one gender to another smoothly.

Solving these mental problems so that I can "act" and "think" as a woman is my goal. Then, in my mind, I will be confident in my ability to present myself as a woman. My internal journey/adventure/investigation will have been completed. Once I know that I can shift back and forth in front of my most harsh critic (my loving wife) I'm not sure whether the rest of the world will matter.

When I started, it was an unfocussed adventure. Now I'm realizing that the more I learn, the more I understand my wife. That understanding is a goal I will always strive for as she helps me and us on our bigger journey.

tina

[Sarah...]

I just need my body (for my own benefit) and my appearance to others to say "woman". Living in a man's body is purgatory.

It's not about passing for me, it's about being.

Sarah...

[Raya]

Not to hijack the thread, but personally, I've never liked the term "passing". To me, it implies that we're getting away with something illicit. That's just my opinion, though, and I know nobody here means it that way. Anyway...

Physically, passing isn't really important at all. I'd like to achieve a more feminine look, but I see it more as a skill than a spiritual need. If I'm happy with the look, that's all that really matters to me.

Mentally though, "passing" means everything. For lack of better words, I see the clothes and everything as a tool--a way to help me bring out and soothe the long-suppressed feminine parts of my soul. There's just something about the way that women see the world, the way that women relate to each other that I have always wanted to experience firsthand. I know there are limits, so I suppose this'll bring me as close as I'll ever get.

[Deborah Jane]

I,m just trying to pass as who i feel i should have been born and lived as, but unfortunately nature decided to play it differantly, so i have to try and create her myself with the materials i was given!

[AliciaWeb]

Passing isn't terribly important for me but being accepted when out is. I try to blend in when out so this sets a level of presentation that I aim for. I suppose the ultimate achievement for me is not to be noticed. Sad really.

Alicia

[Nicole Erin]

I don't know if I pass or not, I always get mixed reviews. No one ever tells me I don't pass except other CD's, but I know I get read.

So is it important? I don't really obsess over it. I kind of figured if I do great but if not, oh well.

When I did obsess over it, I don't know why I did.

[Ruth]

Going back to what Michaella said, if I'm out in public en femme I feel as if I need to pass as a woman to avoid the unwelcome attention that a man in a frock would get. I can wear all my nice things but simply be accepted as a person who is dressed normally.
Back home in private there is no need to pass especially, but I still try to look pretty.

[avril findlay]

I want to look to look as feminine as I can. I don't want to lay myself open to ridicule when I'm out dressed. The last thing I want to be is "The man in a skirt !". I love dressing and looking like a woman.

[paulaN]

I can't really "pass" however I am not to bad at blending. And that sure makes it a lot easier to go out and be me. And have a good time doing it.

[Cathytg]

That IS THE QUESTION, I think. It forces me to take a position on who I am and how I feel about myself.

If I wanted to actually BE a woman (I don't) then being able to pass would be of obvious importance. But I don't.

If I wanted the freedom to wear women's clothing any time I wished (I do) then passing is important to me because it would allow me to go out in a dress and heels and have no thought at all about my acceptance. It becomes a freedom issue. It is difficult for me to feel relaxed now because I feel that I do not pass very well. It's a problem that I am working on since it is, after all, my own invention. If I am uncomfortable because I pass only slightly, then it is a problem that I can resolve without changing my body. But, passing is the simply way to be comfortable at any time in any situation.

As a footnote, I guess I distinguish between passing and looking great. I have seen a great many women who could not possibly be men but who look awful.

[Joanna-Louise]

That IS THE QUESTION, I think. It forces me to take a position on who I am and how I feel about myself.


As a footnote, I guess I distinguish between passing and looking great. I have seen a great many women who could not possibly be men but who look awful.

I think we are all in someway worried about passing whether or not we deny it or are aware of it. I drive a bus with a stammer and try as i might this can rive difficult as i drive buses for a living. Guarenteed at school kicking out time a group of mindless kids will ask me something (some regonise me and know about the stammer) and have a giggle when i fall over my words.

*back to the point*, it goes back to my theory. Most human beings cant handle something that is different. Someone in a wheel chair doesnot try and act like someone with legs so why should we be so fixated on passing to blend in with other women?

If we all stepped back and spent more time on what shop to go into next, other than how we look we would all enjoy the expeirence alot more (easier said than done i know, myself am trying to gain more corage to go out in daylight)...


Jo
xx

[LA CINDY LOVE]

At one time I would have said it was not at all important to me, because I never went out in public. But I wanted to try it, just to be able to say I had not let the opportunity pass. And then I realized it was important to me because passing, if I could do it, would give me the freedom to wear feminine clothes in a way that I could not otherwise do. As a male wearing a skirt -- something I had done a number of times -- I still did not feel comfortable wearing other items usually considered feminine at the same time, for fear of attracting ridicule. As a male I could, in certain circumstances, be casually accepted with one or two items of feminine attire at a time, but presenting as a female I could wear the full range of things that I like -- a dress, high heels, nylons, nail polish, etc -- without it being that big a deal, so long as I fit into the time and place. I think, I think, I was able to do it for the most part. Even if I was read as male by some, and I know that most people did not notice at all, there was no fuss made, while as clearly male and dressed like that I would have created a stir.

Michaella

Very good point Michaella...........I feel that we all have our own way of passing and when you walk out that front door dress you better have confidence in your self our you better pass and yes it is good to have both.

The confidence in your self can fall very fast if you get read in a crow of people

LA CINDY LOVE

[Shannen]

I'm scared people won't treat me like a woman unless they think I am one...

...and I want to experience being a woman, which includes how people treat you, not just looking like one.

Funny thing is, my most enjoyable times have come when people treat me kindly knowing that I wasn't a woman... I was just trying to look like one.

[MJ]

very good question Becky,

from my point of view please don't shoot me people. but i feel i don't pass and my voice is no were near what i would like to " pass " and i am full time ...

for me i have found if i just be myself male voice and all i get along just fine IMHO i doubt I'll ever pass for a gg. but i do enjoy being myself what ever that is in the eyes of the beholder .
thank you..
huggs

[Priscilla Ann]

It is not important for me to pass as a woman.

[LilSissyStevie]

I don't try to pass as a female. I'm a sissy and I dress like a sissy. In public, I try to pass as a regular guy. I'm not always successful, I'm afraid.