Need some help with setting a timetable for transitioning

[Jamie S.]

Ok, over my last session my therapist decided to talk more about my plans of transition and how I plan to do so. So here are my rough plans for the next year, please correct me or offer suggestions.

1. Begin T-blockers.
2. Have laser hair removal 2 or 3 months into being on T-blockers (does anyone know if this reduces facial hair regrowth?)
3. Begin Estrogen.
4. Move to Austin in May/April.
5. Begin gradually presenting as female once changes are too obvious to hide.
6. Possibly have a Mentoplasty and Rhinoplasty.
7. Years later once I have saved the money, SRS.

Obviously, this is a highly simplified list and I don't have set dates for most of these changes as I know there are many variables that are impossible to plan for. I definately would appreciate any input. I know my monetary limitations and realize that I won't be able to correct alot of things. Fortunately I have very close friends and family supporting me through this and Austin is a very GLBT friendly community.

[Zenith]

When do you figure on doing the one year RLE? Also when are you graduating from college young lady...

[gagirl1]

i really don't think you need the rinoplasty or the mentoplasty. if it makes you feel better about yourself then i would say go for it, but it's not necessary. you have great facial features as-is.

[Jamie S.]

Well honestly, I thought the RLE test was a bit antiquated. I'm planning on doing all these things gradually and will be living as female in Austin with two close friends, but honestly, clothes do not define me and I don't think I have to prove myself like that. Also, if I wait a year, I will be bald. I know the difficulties that are coming and that I will be ridiculed and mistreated, I have no illusions.

I know who I am and have always known and am, so I'm gradually making these changes and alterations to my wardrobe as I see fit.

I'm still in college and will be in some form for the foreseeable future, but honestly it's not my top priority as an artist. I easily get work on films and projects in Austin and I have an "in" with film productions.

I'm aware you may not agree with this, but honestly, I've let the world and others make decisions for me and I'm going to do this on my own terms.

[Zenith]

Ouch...don't kill the messenger here...I don't like the idea of the RLE either...you have to work or volunteer and your supervisor knows you are trans...but this seems to be required for SRS...employment can be difficult for us...you need every ace in your corner...a degree should be part of your plans...

[Jamie S.]

The SRS is really the last thing on my mind right now, I just want to realign my physical self with my my mind with HRT and other procedures. It'll be years, maybe decades before SRS is even possible for me. That isn't my focus right now, right now I'm setting up my life and future as a transexual. I'm very much a realist, but I'm doing this the best way that I can and the only way I can see it working for me.

Zenith, you know I can never be mad at you

[Zenith]

Zenith, you know I can never be mad at you

Just wait and get to know me better...

You asked for comments......I sorta am trying to plan myself too and I just don't know...plans never work out the way you think...let's see how the hormone therapy goes sis...

[Jamie S.]

I'm a bit of a spitfire at times too

[Chari]

I commend you Jamie to know your mind and make your own decisions! Always be comfortable and confident in your choices. Everyone should have a plan for what they want to accomplish in their life, but sadly some never find their niche. Best of everything for your future!

[Kimberley]

Let's not overlook the fact that the HBSOC are guidelines first and foremost. It will be up to the therapists to decide if your living qualifies you in the RLE needs.

Still, your FIRST priority should be your education. Without that you are in a sinking boat. Get it done above all. You can begin your transition while in school. It is likely to be a more accepting environment. (That's the prof in me talking...)

As to the methodology of HRT that is usually decided by the doc doing the administration. When you start them is up to your pdoc. You will need his or her letter of approval first.

Still, you are doing it right in that you are working through the medical system with proper oversight. There are much lower risks doing it this way. Good for you girl.


Kimmie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

your plan sounds thoughtful, realistic and flexible...
u are doing great...

if things change, adapt to the change..

i started blockers and estradial at same time in July and i have had very incremental pleasing results...



i'm no expert on RLE...i'm not thinking of GRS as much as my facial surgery...how interesting that i can do a HUGE invasive procedure to change my face into a more feminine face tomorrow if i had the $$..anyway..you can tell i'm no fan of that "rule" but surgeons generally force us all to do it prior to bottom surgery..

michele

[Valeria]

1. Begin T-blockers.
2. Have laser hair removal 2 or 3 months into being on T-blockers (does anyone know if this reduces facial hair regrowth?)
3. Begin Estrogen.
4. Move to Austin in May/April.
5. Begin gradually presenting as female once changes are too obvious to hide.
6. Possibly have a Mentoplasty and Rhinoplasty.
7. Years later once I have saved the money, SRS.

To answer some of your implicit questions in no particular order...

I'd start facial hair removal immediately, if I were you, because it can take well over a year to complete this step and any facial hair at all is quite awkward once you are full time. HRT can slow the rate of growth of facial hair, and it can stop *new* hairs from becoming active, but it will not generally reduce the total number of actively growing hairs you already have when you start. Those will all have to be killed off with electrolysis or laser.

Many endocrinologists will start you on estrogen and T-blockers simultaneously, or with at most a slight delay. There really isn't a compelling medical reason to delay starting estradiol, especially since the likely adverse effects of it are quite distinct from those of spironolactone.

If you are concerned about hair loss, I'd suggest you start a DHT blocker right away (i.e. finasteride or dutasteride). You can easily get a prescription for finasteride from a dermatologist or GP -- it isn't considered hormone treatment and wanting to preserve scalp hair isn't reserved to trans females, so no special hoops are required. Or you can mail order it -- aside from posible erectile dysfunction and breast growth, the safety profiles of both of these drugs are quite high (much safer than aspirin or tylenol or many commonly used over-the-counter cold, cough, and allergy medications). Dutasteride is more effective, but you might have to mail order it, because not as many dermatologists or GPs are as familiar with it (it has a similar mechanism of action, but they didn't go to the expense of FDA testing it specifically for this purpose, and thus they can't market it as a drug for male-pattern baldness).

Incidentally, many young transitioners find that this part of the process goes faster than they'd expected, though many of them end up waiting for years before they can afford SRS.

Well honestly, I thought the RLE test was a bit antiquated. I'm planning on doing all these things gradually and will be living as female in Austin with two close friends, but honestly, clothes do not define me and I don't think I have to prove myself like that. Also, if I wait a year, I will be bald. I know the difficulties that are coming and that I will be ridiculed and mistreated, I have no illusions.

RLE isn't required before starting HRT, and it certainly isn't required before starting meds to help with hair loss, but it is required before SRS by all of the reputable North American surgeons (and some of the Thai surgeons, though they play looser with the SOC). Not all therapists require 1 year, mind you, but that's up to them.

I'm not sure why you say "clothes do not define me". Clothes don't define any of us. I mean, I don't believe I wore a skirt or dress once while I was getting my SRS letters (I had before, and I have since, I just didn't happen to during that period). Clothes have relatively little to do with it. The issue is *living as a woman*. That means having a female legal name, marking "female" on forms you fill out, informing those that knew you pre-transition that you still interact with that you are now living as a woman, etc. It means interviewing for jobs as a woman, working as a woman, going to school as a woman, dating as a woman, etc. You can wear jeans and a t-shirt all you want (I certainly did), but if people are calling you "Bob" and you are allowing them to think of you as a man, then you aren't really living as a woman.

I have mixed feelings about the RLE, but the theoretical purpose is for you to prove (to yourself, not just your therapist) that you are prepared to handle living as a woman, and that you are certain you'll be happier living as such. It's not about clothes.

Anyway, if you are young enough to be in college, there is another forum I'd suggest you join, one specifically for younger transitioners. I suspect you'll get a lot more advice from peers there because we have lots of members in their teens and twenties (and there's also just a lot more discussion in general about transitioning):
TrueSelves

[gagirl1]

I'm not sure why you say "clothes do not define me". Clothes don't define any of us. I mean, I don't believe I wore a skirt or dress once while I was getting my SRS letters (I had before, and I have since, I just didn't happen to during that period). Clothes have relatively little to do with it. The issue is *living as a woman*.
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i think that's the point she was trying to make about the clothes. i think she is distinguishing herself from a cross dresser in a way (not that there's anything wrong with cross dressing), saying that there is more going on. i'm pretty sure you are both on the same page on the subject of clothes.

[Jamie S.]

Yes, that is what I meant Gagirl. There is nothing wrong with crossdressing, after all I have been doing it all my life. My therapist asked "Why not just crossdress?" in our last session and I was kind of taken aback. I'm a female in a male body, my priority is realigning my body to my mind, not my wardrobe. I understand where he and others are coming from, but right now I'm tired of being told to put aside my life because someone else disagrees on some minor thing.

My therapist is awesome though and I know he didn't mean anything by that.

[Kimberley]

Your therapist wouldnt be doing his or her job if you werent challenged on your feelings. Part of therapy is to help you define yourself and make you think. It is a good thing for people to challenge your feelings in this regard. Dont ever dismiss it because you will lose something or some tiny bit of insight because of it.

Good girl.

Kimmie

[Mariah]

Best of luck! you have move planing than me, Mine is srs by age 30. I started living fulltime before I started hrt or anything (about 3 weeks ago). meo

Mariah

[Brandiwvr]

im just envious as all h---. wished i did the full transition when i was younger. now get educated and then do the rest. dont let the transition interfer with the education. i will work it out for myself soon.