An odd thing is happening to me: lately, the more I look at all the various postings on this site, the less I feel like cross-dressing, even though I've been doing it for maybe 45 years now. I'm starting to feel silly about doing it, that I'm just wasting a lot of time and energy on something that is just not productive.
I had planned on spending a few days fully femme soon, but somehow I just don't feel like it anymore.
Anybody else ever feel this way?
Michaella
Hello Michaella!
Yes! And then I decide that it would be better for me, my marriage and perhaps even my safety if I just stopped doing this and stayed male and in drab. A funny thing always happens though. After the big decision I always revert...get ready and go out. Despite the yearning to stop and the work of getting ready I always enjoy the feelings, smell and electricity of being fully dressed. I think that this is part of me and I do not have the ability to stop it. If I could, I would. If you can truly stop dressing after so many years, I wish you luck and happiness!
Charlie
But Michaella, why do you feel silly?
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
Actually, the more I browse through the topics and read people's opinions and responses, the more I am encouraged to dress up and continue living en femme. The courage that members have contributed is simply inspiring and reminds me that I am not alone.
I can't really explain it beyond saying that it just starts seeming ridiculous, that I really should have better things to do, that it is taking up my attention that should be devoted to other things. It's not that I don't want to dress in one sense, but the thought of it, and seeing myself dressed, brings on the reaction "well, that's just silly." And I don't think I look all that bad, that it is a matter of looking foolish, just that the activity itself is a foolish thing.Originally Posted by tricia_uktv
I don't mean to suggest that I think it is something other people should not do. I think I can honestly say that I try very hard to not judge other people, and if there's something they want to do that does no harm to anyone I have no reason to object. But I do feel very judgmental about my own behaviour!
Michaella
Funny you should mention this Michaella. I had a conversation with my friend about this just the other day. I think sometimes we come to a certain comfort level where we know who we are regardless. While I've always enjoyed my femme self, I sometimes think it's somewhat over rated. Not so much that I feel silly, just that I've pretty much done it all and there is nothing more to prove really. Seems I'm comfortable being myself no matter how I'm dressed these days. Sometimes I like getting "dolled up" but sometimes I'd just as soon pass on it. For myself it's all about being a person and not "this" or "that" anyway.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Thank you for your reply and your best wishes, Charlie. That seems very much to be my experience. It is not the first time I have felt like this, but it is first time informed by viewing this site. And I don't want to make it seem like I am blaming the site or anyone, just that it somehow has made a difference. Very strange.
And yes, I keep thinking life would be simpler, easier, if I could just get rid of the whole desire to dress, but I have not been able to put it aside after all these years, even with professional help, and I doubt I ever will. So, I remain conflicted.
Michaella
It all has to do with the peaks and valleys of this life we lead. See: pink fog, cycles of desire , etc., throughout the pages of this forum. What really sucks is when you have some time coming up where you will be able to CD and you plan for it and look forward to it and when that time comes she dose not want to come out and play. All I can say is what has been said by others here so clearly, DO NOT PURGE.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIZE="3"]Wild Women Never Get The Blues[/SIZE]
Michaella, I don't know enough about what you are giving up to dress, but I would ask you one question - no pressure there then!
What is at the end of your rainbow?
What is going to make you happy, bubbly, have fun and be at peace with yourself? For me it has now become my life and I am so much happier because of it; although now my children have grown so I have the opportunity.
I'm (fairly) sure we all have one thing that is more important than anything else in their lives. For me its dressing and being myself. And I will never look back, although I still have bad days.
Hugs and good luck,
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
Well, I enjoy dressing (I only just started!) but I can understand the comment that the time and effort spent on dressing could be spend on something more productive. Having a little child at home means there's a precious little time for myself (and my wife too). And it takes time to keep my legs shaved, to browse clearance section at Kohls, to read posts on this forum... So, yes I can relate. (And I don't wear makeup!)
Clara
In the big picture of life, the vast majority of what we do is the same whether we are male or female, and I think that's the part that keeps me most grounded. There are times I think to myself, why do I spend so much time putting on girl clothes, playing with my hair, preening myself despite knowing that no one will ever see me this way? Silly, maybe; but it's something I feel like I should do, I want to, and I enjoy doing. And that's all that's important, that it's important to me. And if I ever meet someone, I hope she'll understand that.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I never feel that way. Think of it like a hobby--many hobbies are totally unproductive, but none-the-less satisfying, stress-reducing, and emotionally satisfying. To me, cding is all of the above, and a lot more, even though I know many who know me would think my hobby is ridiculous. It is how you feel about it, not how others judge it.
I think sometimes it does feel silly and i know i waste a lot of time with it, but at the end of the day for me personnally i enjoy it, it makes me happy and theres no harm in it, so why not carry on doing it
Good point. It's not like the time I spend dressing would always be used in some productive way. And yes, many hobbies are completely unproductive.
Clara
Obviously you have ODed on crossdressing through us..... so
"Please step away from the computer"...
NOW!!!!
NO, I reach the stage that I want and need more and more of it.
Suzanne
I think Tricia's correct when she observed that many of us have a CD 'cycle'.
If so, you may be leaving the 'pink fog' behind as you travel into a new realm where some (many) people think CDing is 'silly'. In which case, enjoy the journey and we'll see you in a few weeks, months or even years ... when the cycle revolves. Most of us have discovered that this doesn't go away, it just ebbs and flows.
Of course, another possibility is that you, and some of the other posters, have suggested. Is there a new wave of post-modern CDer?
I'm serious.
For some of us, at least, the reason what we do is called CD is that we wear gendered clothing from 'another' gender. What happens as the lines between genders become more indistinct and blurred?
Today, men can dress casually all the time, as women can, and do. We can wear earnings, we can use makeup (some), we can wear silk underwear, and enjoy a range of clothes and fabric styles unheard of in the recent past.
As these trends continue, will there be any point to CDing?
Will CDing be limited to the most fem, the most girly of clothing? A type of clothing even women no longer wear every day.
Just a thought ... thanks for your interesting post. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Hugs
Susan
PS - Just a piece of advice. Don't purge. If you can give your stash to someone you trust.
As humans, our feelings ebb and flow, are up and down, hot and cold and any other way you can use to describe feelings. I know for a fact that mine fluxuate with many things, the weather, the temperature, the stock market, my temper and etc, etc. So, as my feelings goes so goes my desire to dress.
One big difference however, being on this web site has never decreased my desire, its always increased it for me.
Vivian
I felt the same 'silliness' a couple years ago when I started to find CDing sites, and it made me back up a little. Later, I'd find myself coming back to the sites 'just to see' how things were going. I would just forget about it, but then, out of the blue, she'd tug on my sleeve. (How bout a change of clothes, fella??)
Well, the desire would spring back to life; it seemed a little more earnest, and the 'silliness' would disappear.
Now I've just come to accept and enjoy what I do, and go with the flow.
I really have a hard time considering something I enjoy doing as foolish.If I'm having a good time,that normally justifies it.Maybe some of the desire you initially had will bounce back for you,if not maybe you should through in the towel for a while.
I don't feel silly and I enjoy CDing as much as I ever have (quite a lot!) and I can't see my enjoyment ever decreasing. But I have often thought how different my life would have been if I'd devoted the same time and energy into some other activity that I've devoted to CDing.
I don't feel silly, I like it to much. I do feel depressed occasionally though that I look so much like $#!* compared to everyone else.
I spend countless hours working on one or another aspects of my CDing! This site and my photo editing take up about 24 hours a week by themselves!
And the energy I spend every day, thinking of new CDing ideas for Sherry. It never ends. Then, the shopping and actual dressing!
I often look at the mess my house and garages have become. See the piles of unread newspapers that I used to read front to back every day. I hear sports stories about my favorite teams and hear that I missed another incredible finish!
Why the heck did I start this out of the blue 10 years ago? I wonder when is the desire to dress going to abate? It seems to still be escalating!
I'm over 60. What the heck am I doing? Impersonating a bevy of young women? It's quite often that I doubt my sanity, and judgement, for getting SO involved in CDing!
On the other hand, I can't think of ANYTHING that I can do at my age, that is half as; exciting, fun, or gets my motor running nearly as much as CDing!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I fall under the "cyclic" type too. I get the need to get all done up every six months or so, but beyond that I have too many other things that go through cycles as well. Every one of em needs to be appeased lol
You are not silly
Zara
(Formerly known everywhere as Lady Zarabeth
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