Chatroom Troubles

[Jessicaparkson]

So lately I've been having problems. I use the crossdressercity chatroom listed on this website and have been for a while, with no problems. But recently a few people have been really degrading about my age. Yes. I'm really 18. I'll be 19 in December. But these individuals don't believe me, or don't think I'm mentally capable enough of conversation. Since they refuse to listen to me I'll state my case here and ask for the opinions of my sisters.

Age:
I'm American. 18 here means a non-minor. I think that if I can buy smokes (which I don't), buy porn mags (which I don't), have legal sex,and can vote then I think I'm old enough to be in the chatroom.

Mental Ability:
One of the persons questioned my mental ability, even calling me "retarded". In my defense I graduated a year early from school while taking a year of college. I'm attending school for psychology and doing quite well. I'm honestly not trying to brag (I rather hate discussing it), just trying to clear that up.

It just bothers me how quick people are to judge me by my age. Everyone else has been really nice and very fun to talk to, and many have answered a lot of my questions. So I'm asking what to do about this? I can't do anything when the people are around.

[docrobbysherry]

Jessica, I can't advise u about chatrooms. They all make me feel like hiding under my bed with a bottle of spirits!

However, I CAN give u some experience about "age". When I was 21, I thot I knew everything, and was smarter than the "old" people I knew! Never listened to what they told me!

Now I'm over 60. I realize how little I know and understand about myself and the world around me! And how much there is for me to learn about EVERYTHING!

My daughter just started high school. She knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING! Never listens to anything I tell her!

Of course, I don't expect u to listen to an old fart like me!

[Jessicaparkson]

Oh I know I'm not all knowledgeable

And I'm always happy to listen to those who know more, makes me a better person

[Jill]

Because you are still technically a teenager? When you're young, you will find yourself clambering up social ladders, don't worry, you'll get there.

Do you like using that chat site? It usually says that there are only a few people online. Do you have good experiences? I think I tried it years ago and just had creepy non CDers trying to hit on me and haven't been back.

[Jessicaparkson]

It's usually a fine site. Good people, with the few "trolls" who are usually run out.

[Miss Tessa]

Yeah that bothers me that they treated you that way.

I think alot of older CD's have tention and jealousy toward some younger CD's.

I don't know that for certain.

But I haven't seen that in the older TS people.In both TS culture and Drag Queen culture we often have the help of and older TS or DQ who takes us under her wing as their "Drag Daughter" or similar terms.The TS sector of the TG community has their own culture just like CD's have their own culture and habits and stereotypical behavior.

[nicole123]

some people are afraid they are not intelligent and feel intimidated so they lash out. water off a ducks back.

[DemonicDaughter]

[SIZE="3"]Its difficult for some people to understand that age has nothing to do with experience.

Just because someone may not have been alive as many years as another doesn't mean they haven't experienced "enough" life. Some people get to experience a great deal about life at very young ages, this is why so many "kids" seem more like adults now a days.

Don't let them get to you (though I know that's easier said than done). Some people feel that a person who may not have as much experience as them, could not possibly understand where they are at mentally or emotionally. I disagree. I need only get burned once to know that heat can hurt. I don't need to test the levels of heat to understand this concept.

But unfortunately, some people feel that when you haven't done it as much or as often as they have, then you are making a mockery of them by claiming to be on the same level.

We are all different, all learn at different levels and one answer does not fit all.

Ignore those people and just keep being yourself. Those that can see you for the person you are will respect that. Those that cannot... aren't worth your worry. [/SIZE]

[Angie G]

Don't pay them no mind Jessi there are A$$ holes in almost every bunch hun Jut keep being who you are.
Angie

[Michelia]

When I was your age there were no chatrooms. I hated hanging around people my age because they were so immature. They would go out binge drinking. I had been drinking in my house with my family since I was 12. It was like " We are going drinking" made no sense to me.

My girlfriend was 10 years older than me and people put her down because she was "robbing the cradle".

Everyone at work was at least 10 to 15 years older than me. I got a lot of what you are getting everyday in my real life. I wish there had been chatrooms where I may have found others like me.

Just hang in there. You will find people to chat with. Maybe you need to explore other places as well. But I know it is hard because people have their attitudes. Just do not let that get to you. And if you protest and try to make the point that you want to be listened to, it will only backfire and they will see you as childish or as trying to get attention. Do not be to desperate for attention and do not let them see this. Do not try to get your points across too loudly. Just hang back and when you need to make a point, make it subtly and intelligently and sooner or later there will be those that will start listening.

[sterling12]

I don't know what you can do about it, or if makes any difference, but when you stated your age I was immediately struck by a thought.

If I'm an older person in that Chatroom and I know that someone is claiming to be a teen my first thought might be: "Is this some cyber-vice cop fishing around in this chatroom trying to bait me into saying something stupid?" That would tend to make them defensive and might explain some of the belittling comments.

Now, if there isn't any "stuff" going on there, you would think these folks have nothing to fear. The few times I have stopped into that chatroom, I saw and read nothing I would consider offensive. Nobody doing bizarre things with their webcam, etc., etc.

Just remember, your age alone is going to make them leery of you and possibly standoffish. And, as an 18 year old unless you are very mature, you aren't going to have a lot in common with them. If you dispense a lot of advise, presume that your smarter than your elders, (a common mistake made at the age of 18,) insist on having divergent opinions and insisting that you are always right, then all of these things can cause you problems.

On the other hand, maybe it was just a bad day, maybe somebody wasn't feeling good, and things just went down hill. The good thing is, it will be a different set of people next time and you can try again.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Karren H]

My experience is that chat room attract all kinds and many trolls.... And though I've met a few people I still call friends... I do not frequent them any more.....

[Bev06 GG]

Well Jessica,
They appear to be very rude which I have to say, says much more about their mental age than yours. If they are the type of people that frequent chat rooms then I'd stay away.
DD is quite right to say that alot of youngsters have experienced much during their young lives and seem to be much more mature as a consequence than other people of the same age, but the same works the other way round too. Some older people have never really experienced anything much of a challenge and have sailed through life relatively unscathed. This can often make for very insular small minded people who go into chat rooms and have the audacity to call others retarded.
I will say no more
You certainly do not come over as immature in your threads so I'd ignore them.
Take care
Bev

[Ballerina]

WHAT!? Wish I was on with you.. Would have shown THEM a thing or two *proceed fist shaking*!

[avril findlay]

Yeah, right, next!

[raleighbelle]

I didn't even realize we had a chatroom on this site. I haven't seen what you wrote in them, so perhaps if you did write stupid and arrogant things I would agree with them. But the post you wrote is certainly very intelligent and appropriate and your spelling and grammar are better than a lot I see on the forum. I suspect is is just a few individuals who are domineering the chats, which is think is typical of many chatrooms.

The comment I really want to make is that I am really glad you are on this forum. Nothing like this was available when I was your age, and it sure would have helped me out a LOT to have been able to learn a bit more about it, that LOTS of other people feel just like I do, and that it is okay, that I am not a freak of nature with bizarre thoughts that should be put away, and that I would not degenerate into some kind of perverted creature or something. This site is open to all who cross dress or see themselves as anywhere along the gender spectrum, and also to those who know them and are affected, positively or negatively or confusingly, by that association or relationship. I am sure there are many, many young adults such as yourself, and younger that could really benefit from this. For every person on this site, of any age, there are far, far more suffering in their repression and hiding, unaware or even too afraid to open up to others or even on the internet, afraid somehow they will be caught.

Anyway, I don't know how useful the chat section is, but I certainly expect you will find these discussion threads useful and that as long as you respect the opinions of others here, that you will also be respected fully as well.

[kiyohchan21]

So lately I've been having problems. I use the crossdressercity chatroom listed on this website and have been for a while, with no problems. But recently a few people have been really degrading about my age. Yes. I'm really 18. I'll be 19 in December. But these individuals don't believe me, or don't think I'm mentally capable enough of conversation. Since they refuse to listen to me I'll state my case here and ask for the opinions of my sisters.

Age:
I'm American. 18 here means a non-minor. I think that if I can buy smokes (which I don't), buy porn mags (which I don't), have legal sex,and can vote then I think I'm old enough to be in the chatroom.

Mental Ability:
One of the persons questioned my mental ability, even calling me "retarded". In my defense I graduated a year early from school while taking a year of college. I'm attending school for psychology and doing quite well. I'm honestly not trying to brag (I rather hate discussing it), just trying to clear that up.

It just bothers me how quick people are to judge me by my age. Everyone else has been really nice and very fun to talk to, and many have answered a lot of my questions. So I'm asking what to do about this? I can't do anything when the people are around.

I am so sorry to hear that. That is one of the reasons I don't go into chat rooms and use Instant Messaging like AIM. You have so much more control on IMs.

[Jess_cd32]

Don't let a few a-holes like Angie called them ruin your day, just fight back, you've got every right to be on that chat if you want. I know its harder though esp. if your outnumbered, think they call them bullies???

If I was on it I'd chat w/ ya and I'm alot older than 18, would have cd-ing at least in common to talk about and you could watch me shut them up real quick on your behalf.

[MsJanessa]

The problem with chatrooms and bulletin boards etc is that the anomynity of the internet allows people to be rude with absolutly no consequences---I'm sure those same people if you met them in person wouldn't dream of making the comments that they have posted. So My advice to you is you shouldn't worry too much about those posters. You will never meet them and thier negative comments reveal far more about their own shortcomings than anything about you.

[Sarah Martin]

Jessica,

Small-minded people like those you have encountered look for some means of elevating their shrivelled egos - and you seem to have been 'today’s target'. It makes them feel better by undermining others.

Stuff them - you have just as much right to use the chat room and express your opinion as they do. If they irritate I suggest you see if there is some way the chat room software can 'block' or 'ignore' them.

xxx
Sarah

[CD Susan]

Jessica, I think it is a shame that you were treated that way. I certainly would not discriminate against you because of your age and I think you sound very intelligent and articulate yourself quite well. For what it is worth I have felt that I did not fit in with the age group of those in chat rooms before. However my situation was opposite of yours. I felt that no one wanted to chat with some 60 year old 'guy' that they had never heard of before. I tend to avoid chat rooms and do my chatting with people that I know.

[erica2054]

this chat site crossdresserschatcity.com has really improved- now you can write your porfile and read other girls profiles before you invite them to chat - i think it is much better than urnotalone.com

[Stephanie Stephens]

Jessica - I don't go to chat rooms (can't type that fast) but I have read many of your post and you seem more intelligent than many people I have run into who are much older. Please don't let it bother you one bit and please continue to speak your mind.

[sometimes_miss]

If you haven't already figured it out, online people will say and/write things that they would never, ever say in public, or to someone's face. For a variety of reasons, they write before they think, what you are often seeing is completely uncensored thought, straight from the id, Freud might say. Don't take it personally, don't linger on it, just consider it food for thought; but don't 'digest' it either. Consider that the person writing it may just have had a truly terrible day, and just wants to vent their frustration; and you were unfortunately right in the firing line.

[Chrissy be good]

The problem with chatrooms and bulletin boards etc is that the anomynity of the internet allows people to be rude with absolutly no consequences---I'm sure those same people if you met them in person wouldn't dream of making the comments that they have posted. So My advice to you is you shouldn't worry too much about those posters. You will never meet them and thier negative comments reveal far more about their own shortcomings than anything about you.

I was going to say the same thing. Don't let the keyboard commandos spouting e-diarhea keep you from enjoying something you like. They may be trying to put you down to feel better about themselves. As long as you know who you are, who cares what others think. In short they need to stop drinkin that HATER-AIDE