depression and crossdressing

[Emily1]

an age old adage and problem for us I'm sure .... I'm an infrequent visitor here.I am recently and quite regularly bothered by my ambiguity re crossdressing .... I enjoy it and realise I am stuck with it - I know it's not going to go away and that I must make the best of it ( and during self confident times - rejoice in it ) but and we all know thAT WORD ....BUT....... I am increasingly looking like a fat man - I take solace in the bottle- I am getting too old to fool even myself of my beauty - I fear that my old age will be filled with regret and depression and that I would be clearly within my rights to end it sooner rather than later as i have attempted halfheartedly in the past to relieve myself of the pain we must sometimes feel... a little encouragement wouldnt go amiss xxxxxxxx

[Jessicaparkson]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't worry too much about age, I have a CD friend who is in her late 60s and still looks beautiful. As for weight. I was told one time that weight and beauty are too often put together. Weight is something that is the decision of the person. You can still be lovely and not bone thin. Crossdressing is for fun. It is for enjoyment. And it is for you. If you enjoy it then keep going, live life eh?

[Deborah Jane]

Well if that avatar pic is you Emily you,ve got nothing to worry about
We all get regrets about this sometimes, but it,s part of who you are, so you may as well enjoy it.
As for beauty, who defines beauty?
If you want to look like a page 3 girl [don,t we all ], its not likely to happen for any of us!!
But by just being yourself and enjoying who you truly are, that feeling is priceless.

As for ending it, that achieves nothing but heartache for anybody, so it,s not even worth considering.

I hope you get through this funk soon sis, life is for living, so enjoy being yourself

[RavenAndrea]

[SIZE="4"]I agree, your avatar photo of you looks great. Many older GG are heavy set. They still have stylish choices of clothing to choose from. I'm 56 and enjoying living as a woman (even after a bout with cancer two years ago).

Andrea[/SIZE]

[Karren H]

If your not happy with the way you look.... then don't complaign or get depressed..... go do something about it... rechannel your energys.... I was in bad shape 5 years ago... and I knew if i didn't do something then I was going to probably die... soo I got busy and lost 50 pounds... started exersizing and eating healty!! It not only made me look better enfemme but I look good no matter how I'm dressed.... My whole outlook on life has changed for the better.... I have never been one to get depressed... and I'm not about to start now.... Life is what you make of it..... not what it makes of you!! imho....

[ErikaLadyoftheDesert]

I think you look smashing!

I am a "big girl" myself and sometimes get down realizing that with the body I have I will never really "Pass." Then one day I came out of the "pink fog" and realized that passing was never really what it was about. It is a deep part of my being that is Erika. My femminie side can not be denied. This is not always easy for me having a significant other who is not understanding, and I too have used the bottle for solace.

I have found the forum here to really lift me up when I have been down, reaching out to others who feel the same heals. Or just go shopping for some girlie clothes and you will feel sooo much better !

[carhill2mn]

Hi Emily,
Based upon how I read what you wrote, I hope that you quickly seek help to treat your depression. This is a much more serious situation than your crossdressing. If you are able to bring your depression under control, I think that you will find that your CDing is less of a problem. Physical activity and fitness are know to reduce a person's feelings of depression but, you may also need some professional help.
Good luck!

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Emily,
Listen, Karen is right. You can do something about it. We all get depressed from time to time with the way we look. I started to pile on the pounds recently and ballooned to nearly 11 stone. I hated the way I looked as I always put it on round my face and look bloated. Nothing in my wardrobe fitted me properly and I felt like a total frump lunging into my late forties looking and feeling like a beached whale. So I decided to do something about it. Not quite there yet but already losing the pounds nicely. I can't tell you how much better I feel and am looking much more like my avatar. I got some old pics out of myself and vowed I'd get back to the weight I should be. I can now wear most anything I want to and am heading straight for the 9 stone marker. You can do it too if you want to.
Having said that there is nothing wrong with being weighty there are alot of ladies who have a few extra pounds and still look good. Its how it makes you feel thats the problem and if you dont like it do something now before you get really down honey.
Take care
Bev

[Kelly DeWinter]

I am increasingly looking like a fat man - I take solace in the bottle- xxxxxxxx

Emily

First off, I feel your pain , depression is NOT an easy thing to live with, I have for the past 5 years ... but ... rejoice, the new meds out there, that with the proper use, can decrease the cycles of depression. It took my over 9 meds to find the right one. Drinking is reffered to as 'self medicating' . The propblem is it is costly,self destructive.

I would consult a doctor, and talk to him abot treatments. Current meds for treating depression. Run between 85 and 200 per month depending on the meds and thats without medical insurance, far less then a couple of nights drinking. Also once you start feeling better, you will feel better about yourself.

[TerriM]

I can relate to your feelings. Years ago I was in a depressed state. I was drinking a lot and really feeling lousy about life. I almost did something that, well let me say I wouldnt be writing this reply today if I had done it. As far as your looks, Karen hit on the head. I lost 10 pounds recently from just walking to the store a few times. Im a big girl, size 22. I look at attractive women my size and try do what they do. By the way, I think you look great.

[Teri Jean]

Emily,
There is so many ways to improve your looks but the true beauty isn't on the surface but the person inside. Deborah and Karen are right. And the best part is you do not have to be twenty, although it would be nice to try it over. Enjoy the things we have not what we don't have. Keli

[docrobbysherry]

However, when people r depressed, they tend to concentrate their negativity to something personal. You seem to be concentrating on your looks. It could just as easily have been your;
Money, friends, SO, job, health, where u live, etc., etc.

Depression and alcohol r a very dangerous combination! If u can't shake the way u feel, get help rite now!

Life is NOT about looks, or any of the things I've listed! It's about U enjoying yourself! Do what many of the girls have suggested. Do something, anything, to get out of the rut your in. Go on a holiday, get a pet, volunteer at a charity. Do something to change up your routine! Life is about experiences! When you've experienced EVERYTHING THERE IS IN THE WORLD, then u mite have a reason to be depressed. Until then, come on, the whole world is waiting, just outside your door!

[Charlena]

I too know about depression Emily, people say do this or do that, but for some of us this is very hard or impossible without help. I hope that you have a trusting friend, therapist, clergy. You can PM me anytime if you would like. Take care Emily, Lena

[Alice Torn]

Some have struggled with the "D" word, all their lives- Lincoln, General Sherman, Churchill, Meriwether Lewis, Terry Bradshaw, countless others. I have had chronic depression, finally took advice of others, got on meds, in 1990, but have struggled with it often. Exercise helps a lot, a healthier diet, having others to talk to. That is a tough one, for some of us who have no family, and few friends. I have had birds, now cats. No, the cats didn't make meals of the birds! Pets help. Have felt like checking out at times, almost did half a dozen times, but decided i'll stay for the enduration, cause we don't know what a day will bring. It is little things. simple things, like flowers, birds singing, trees, clouds, dresses, even nice guy clthes, that help. You look nice.

[MJ]

there is a saying ...i'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy .
i know it does not help but drinking is not the answer. may i suggest you go seek help talk to a shrink a counselor about this. we all get old I'm no princess but hey i have my friends. i also have my demons too but i think if we are all honest we all do. it's how you deal with them.
if you are saying you halfheartedly attempted suicide count your blessing ..

i too tried that last year. thanks to a wonderful member here i was very lucky because six months later my life change for the better my children came back in to my life along with my grandchildren. what a difference a year makes thank god she was here to talk sense in to me otherwise i would be a worm feast right now or you could blame me for the ozone depletion.
there is always a better way i hope you can find your path best of luck find someone to talk too please

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

But by just being yourself and enjoying who you truly are, that feeling is priceless.
As for ending it, that achieves nothing but heartache for anybody, so it,s not even worth considering.
I hope you get through this funk soon sis, life is for living, so enjoy being yourself

Deborah said it best and I will add that I too suffer from depression from time to time as well as those feelings of getting older, but its an inevitability we all have to face.
All you can do is press forward day by day and make the most of each one. I try to treat myself to a couple of warm fuzzies every so often, be it a makeup purchase, a new pair of shoes... or something fun. I'm not saying to binge shop or anything to cure depression, but to do something really nice for YOU.
Put a smile on your face, and know that you are loved even if its from afar...

*hugs*

Zarabeth