Growing Acceptance

[Steph Butterfield]

This last few weeks has seen some indications of my being more accepted as a woman.

Last week at the metrocentre I used the ladies loos as I was desperate for a call of nature, and I had no bother at all, even spoke to one girl and she chatted back quite normally.

This Tuesday I had some workmen come to my house for a repair which had been cancelled, on answeriung the door I was greeted with "good afternoon pet" which is a local greeting men give women, so that was marvelous, and they were very kind about the call out too.

Yesterday, I was told by a friend she was getting a new washing machine and would I like her current one. I said yes, and so my friend Janice drove me down to Billingham to get the machine. Well I hadn't bothered to put any make up on at all and I passed many folk and yet received no abuse at all, and Billingham is a rough town.

Then today, I had a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses's come to my door, and immediately I though oh oh, religion, but they were ok and greeted me with "good morning dear", I explained that I was not really interested and they were very polite about it and we wished each other a good day, again no make up as it was early in the day.

So all in all, I know that the laser treatment coupled with the Vaniqa cream has improved my facial skin and rid me of my old beard, so glad I am rid of it as it was the prime giveaway I think, giving folk impression of me both yesterday and today.


Stephanie

[LisaLeggs2]

That is phantastic!
I'm so happy for you.

This gives me hope. I can't wait to loose my beard.

Have a great day!

Lisa

[Jenna1561]

Great news Steph! I'm happy to hear things are working out for you. As you know attitude and mannerisms are a big part of being accepted. Be confident and the world will see you as Stephanie.


Jenna

[Zenith]

That is very good to hear Steph...I think your growing confidence as a woman is showing through...and you are becoming stronger...way to go!

[Steph Butterfield]

wish my looks were though

[Jonianne]

How is your voice now, after surgery?

[Steph Butterfield]

How is your voice now, after surgery?

100% passable as female, unlike my face

[shirley1]

The thing is Steph you can work on your voice if you try hard enough, they don't read you first from your voice, but from how you look, anyway how much is it for a voice operation, you will probably know me from a british site , Lorraine Dawe is the name.

[Zenith]

wish my looks were though

I looked at your photo album Steph...I still think you are being to hard on yourself...

[Steph Butterfield]

The thing is Steph you can work on your voice if you try hard enough, they don't read you first from your voice, but from how you look, anyway how much is it for a voice operation, you will probably know me from a british site , Lorraine Dawe is the name.

I've said this before, I had 19 months voice therapy, and worked very hard on my voice, but it didn't work.

I looked at your photo album Steph...I still think you are being to hard on yourself...

Maybe in your eyes Zenith, but I never get referred to as a female, as a male yes, but not as a female, that tells its own story doesn't it. I'd give anything to be acceptred as a woman by society, but that will never happen I don't think. I wish I looked as good as you, Jenna and some of the other girls here and on other sites. The hormones ain't done a lot for me, I still have a manly body, now even worse... a fat manly body.

I got no family, no job, no social acceptance, nothing to make me happy.


Steph
world's worst looking transwoman

[Zenith]

OK let's see...

We are your family...

Job...what would you like to do?

Your police consultations seemed like very real social acceptance...

And you are very close to fully transitioning...that would make me a little scared but very, very happy...

I'm sorry you are down now...but it will pass...even GGs are insecure of their looks from time to time...I know it seems a cliche' but it is what is inside that counts...

[shirley1]

Your family doesn't deserve you Steph, if they turned their back on you they never really loved you for you, just for their own convenience, as for employers well I'll let you know about mine, I could be out of a job by the end of the week after I go back after 5 months on the sick and tell them all, then I will find out just how difficult it is to get a job as a trans women.

Just remember you are not alone.

[Jenna1561]

Steph,

I wish I could help you to a more positive, upbeat outlook. The short tag at the end of your last post is simply not true. You may not believe you are passable as a woman, but I disagree. I have seen many gg's our age who are far less feminine looking than you. I have seen women with big rough hands from working all their life and women with broad shoulders and muscular arms. I've seen them with no hips to speak of, and feet bigger than mine, They come in all shapes and sizes.

You've been at this a while, so I know that you know initial perception is not solely based on appearance, but also attitude and mannerisms. I know you've studied and practiced these and that they are now you.

You may not be addressed as maam all the time, many gg's also suffer through that. I know that my mother did so on occassion. In your best female voice, and after your voice surgery I'm betting yours is better than mine, simply say, "Excuse me, but that's miss (or maam or whatever you prefer)." I know you don't have a problem standing up for yourself.

Be Confident and Move like a lady and most of the world will see precisely that, a lady.

As for a job, you've done outstanding presenting a CD/TG/TS Diversity Awareness program to law enforcement in your area. You should consider yourself a Consultant on TG Diversity and offer your services to companies and other government agencies for a FEE. I know a few girls who do that here in the States and it's a lucrative career for them.

I'm here (Jenna1561 on Yahoo Messenger) if you ever need to chat .

Warmest wishes,


Jenna

[Steph Butterfield]

Your family doesn't deserve you Steph, if they turned their back on you they never really loved you for you, just for their own convenience, as for employers well I'll let you know about mine, I could be out of a job by the end of the week after I go back after 5 months on the sick and tell them all, then I will find out just how difficult it is to get a job as a trans women.

Just remember you are not alone.

My family did love me pre transition, but once I transitioned no.

As for the employment situation I very much doubt it, as the 1999 sex discrimination act amendment on employment and training makes it illegal to discriminate, allow bullying in the workplace, or dismissal on the basis of someone transitioning (if in UK anyway).

OK let's see...

We are your family...

Job...what would you like to do?

Your police consultations seemed like very real social acceptance...

And you are very close to fully transitioning...that would make me a little scared but very, very happy...

I'm sorry you are down now...but it will pass...even GGs are insecure of their looks from time to time...I know it seems a cliche' but it is what is inside that counts...

Job, I retrained for admin, but due to looking like a bloke in a skirt no-one will employ me, I am unemployable fact.

Not close to surgery due to my transition being put on hold as a result of being referred to an endocrinologist, then there is the genital hair removal which needs to be started a minimum of 6 months in advance of surgery.

I never seen a GG girl called pal, mate or sir, like I am or freak, cross dresser, trannie, ladyboy etc etc.

Be Confident and Move like a lady and most of the world will see precisely that, a lady.

As for a job, you've done outstanding presenting a CD/TG/TS Diversity Awareness program to law enforcement in your area. You should consider yourself a Consultant on TG Diversity and offer your services to companies and other government agencies for a FEE. I know a few girls who do that here in the States and it's a lucrative career for them.

I'm here (Jenna1561 on Yahoo Messenger) if you ever need to chat .

Warmest wishes,


Jenna

I am confident but no-ne sees a lady, but a bloke in a skirt with a blokey face etc and companies do not want to know about trans training, and its a very limited field as well in a transphobic area like Hateshead.


Stephanie
worst looking transwoman in the world

[GypsyKaren]

Steph, you're judging yourself by how some others see you, and that's a huge mistake. Personally, I could give a rat's ass what the kid at McDonalds or wherever thinks of me, they're nothing to me and I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing it for me. Transitioning is one of the hardest things a person can do, but why are you doing it? What are you after? Are you doing it so some guy will throw down his coat over a puddle for you, or are you doing it for yourself?

You want to be accepted by society as a woman? I'll tell you this, it takes a hell of a lot more than looks, it takes heart. All looks do is let people make snap judgments, and those are meaningless and something I don't want or need. Start living by your heart instead of your mirror, that to me is what it's all about.

Karen Starlene

[Nicki B]

This last few weeks has seen some indications of my being more accepted as a woman.

Perhaps they're seeing someone more comfortable with themselves?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

steph....that is such great news i am so happy for you...not just that you are getting some good feedback from folks but that you are posting some hopeful comments!!!! we all know how tough this is...

i'm 6'2!!! I go out all the time...my voice sux(getting better)...i get maam'd, sir'd, i see the double take, the quick "oh my god-it's a GUY!!" look away...the glare, the finger point and laugh....there are lots of large girls, lots of skin problems, etc etc...even tho we all desperately want to look like...(..fill in blank..)...we just look like OURSELVES, like every other woman on earth...


it's a cliche, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE and accepting that on the inside, as you define yourself, becoming female is the priority and the fact that family and outsiders do NOT accept you right now is out of your control and all you can do is move on...you have had your WHOLE LIFE to consider this,..i have had one "EX" friend, come back to me and "accept" me after reading up on the subject for example....this is not a choice ...this is you standing up for something that is incredibly important to YOU......this is about YOU...you are stepping up in a way that is strong, courageous, and terrifying...its no shame to be slowly fixing your male body..it's just the current facts of life that many are unaccepting or worse, you are taking care of yourself and i'm proud to send you this note of support and say i'm just like you....

michele

[Jenna1561]

... Start living by your heart instead of your mirror, that to me is what it's all about.

Karen Starlene

Perfectly stated!


Jenna