male admirers

[Shiny]

In visiting the various chat rooms (cd/ts sites mostly but a few mainstream) I have been noticing for quite some time that there seems to be a moderate number of men out there who are seeking a CD type of "lady." And, many for a long-term-relationship.

I am sure there are as many levels and reasons why a man would like to meet up with a CD as there are for reasons why a CD engages in his particular practice/fetish. If anyone could add some serious thoughts to this thread it would be interesting to see if there is a consensus.

I have thought up a few reasons and have actually asked a few men why they prefer the CD type. I got several answers:

Men seek CD's because they act and dress more feminine than most GG women these days.

Men seem to like the retro-fem outfits, the 50's style dresses, the seamed stockings the stiletto heels, and the fussy makeup and hairdos. Women don't dress that way anymore and what once was typical daily dress in that golden age is mainly thought of as "fetish" wear nowadays.

Or are men who seek CD's actually gay and using the ruse of dating a CD to soften the fact that even though they appear to be dating a woman they are actually dating a man. Is this a way for them to satisfy their urges without the mental anguish, i.e. credible deniability?

Or are some men just "experimenting?" (This one I don't buy.)

[TxKimberly]

I can't speak for the "why" but I would caution you that most (not all) of the admirers I've met give me the creeps. And no, it has nothing to do with my sexual preference being for women, they just tend to be a bit creepy.

[Alice Torn]

Shiny, Great legs! Kimberley- It is a bit scary, or creepy, most often. I came very close to meeting some, but caution and fear ruled. Shiny, I totally agree with your post on this. All of the reasons for the admirers are true. A lot of men are starved for a dolled up type of lady, that is available, as that earlier era look is so rare as gold, today, and so many men have unmet needs, and so many of us look gorgeous. The gay thing may not be so common. Bisexuals, and just experimenting, are common. I have been hit on, many times, by guys, on the internet! Almost met some, who seemed more ok. I think they do like a lot of the looks we present' high heels, hose, dresses, skirts, hair, lipstick, past era looks. It is creepy, often, but most "normies" think we are creepy.

[StaceyJane]

I don't really like to chat with male admirers. They do seem creepy.

[Sallee]

I find them kind of creepy too. I am sure some are nice but I haven't given them enough time nor do I plan to. Like must guys (LOL) they just want one thing so I leave them be

[sterling12]

Long term relationship? We must be meeting different "admirers." Most of them that I run into are interested in something quick out in The Parking Lot.

Put me down for a "creepy" vote also, about 98% of the time.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[jennifer41356]

I find that they want to be with you only for sex and they never want to be seen in public with you, so yea i find them creepy as well

[Angie G]

Admirers have nothing I'm interested in.
Angie

[Nadia-Maria]

My latest french admirer gave these 3 reasons :

. being fascinated for people located at the limit of both worlds and oscillating between both (but he feels no interest in people negating their male self)
. as a rule trannies are more feminine at dressing and make-up than GGs.
. sexual attirance, perhaps due to a closer complicity than with a GG.

_____

More about male admirers :

I just like corresponding with everybody interested in Trans issues, and of course I have had wonderful conversations with a great deal of sisters.

I regularly receive warm messages from male admirers, and instead of accepting their own agenda, I try to make them answer my questions about trans issues and my requests about describing accurately themselves for showing the personal and social "values" they do promote, and the goals they pursue in life.

I must say, I have yet to meet the first guy who won't run away as fast as he can, in order to avoid answering my naive questions. The male admirer quoted above made no exception, though he declared himself to be very happy initiating a correspondence with me.

[Vicki65]

Surely if a male is interested in a CD from a sexual point of view, he MUST be gay or at least Bisexual? There's no way around that in my opinion.

A CD (I'm using a broad brush, but not counting those transitioning medically here) is a genetic male in female attire, surely? Therefore, a 'sexual' admirer wishes to have some sort of sexual relations with another male and is possibly just using the fact that the male is dressed as a female as a means of denial that he is really gay?

[Samantha B L]

I've posted about this several times over the years. I had a good old boy type of freind when I lived in Southern Illinois and he was also kind of a braggart about big money deals he was about to get into and they NEVER came through. I went out on a limb and I told him I was a "Transvestite"(you girls will have to excuse the term. This was over 25 years ago and "crossdresser" was just barely coming into use)and I told him as long as you're getting rich I was hoping you could buy like $300-$400 worth of clothes and stuff for me.

It proved to be a big mistake for me to have told him that. I then slowly found out he was one of those CD admirers and he used me for sex on several ocaisions. I thought I would try it to see if I liked it and it was like wrestling whales and rhinosauruses. I never enjoyed it or got used to it. I am a hetero m to f and I tried to explain that to the guy! So I moved a couple of times and I didn't contact him with the new address or phone number. And that was it.


But actually,I don't mind an ocaisional male admirer as long as they realize I'm hetero. Of course,there are a lot of hetero admirers of crossdressing. One time about 20 years ago I went to a male cosmetologist to have some wigs styled and I knew he was straight since he had a wife and kids yet he was a very respectable aficinado and admirer of all things TG/TS/CD and I was comfortable dealing with him


But I usually prefer to be waited on by women when I'm buying wigs or makeup,clothes or anything else. but CD's should be careful because some guys expect a "Transvestite" to do certain things!

[lynn2c]

I've run across quite a few "admirers" and yes they can be creepy. The conversations are not much different than I hear from my daugters when someone comes on to them. Could it be that alot of men are just creepy whether going after a Cd, or a GG or what ever. I'm thinking so...why I hang out with women alot more than men.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have only found a few that are not creepy and those are the ones that hang out with us in the club scene. I met one and it was the longest 5-10 minutes of my life and he begged for my panties then my hose! I said no then he begged fora kiss and to get out I said yes just so I could get back home, I told him up font I only had a few minutes due to me having to goto work.

Yes most of them are creeps and thats why the creepy ones i single re still single.

[Sandra Dunn]

All these post are very correct. I don't met with guys from any chat room, at least not yet anyway. I have met some guys at different clubs and they are more curious and the fact I wear a nice big wedding ring keeps them at bay.
I've had more contact with women. They all usually ask the same questions relating to SRS. I remember one that danced with me and I must of been her first TG she had ever see up close let alone dance close together.
Since I'm a bellydancer I'm used to dancing alone and it doesn't bother me that I get very few request to dance with someone.
If I found myself single again, I don't think I'd use the chat rooms, I'll just look around the freinds I know and see if anyone else is single.

HUGS Sandra

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]I have to agree that most male admirers are creepy. I have met a number over the years and they all seem to either be fascinated by the "mystery" that is under all my clothes or they are just looking ot be noticed themselves for having a CD with them.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Many are just "fogged" up by their own testoterone, so much so that they tend to forget that they are supposedly straight.[/SIZE]

[Cari]

I think admirers should get as much respect as they give and I try to keep an open mind, but it can be difficult.

I have real basic rule of thumb, treat me like I treat women I ask out and Ill consider it a compliment and be very nice. Having been the guy who got shot down in the bar a few times, I think I'm nicer than most GG's about it. After all what bigger compliment could I get than being asked out.

I've also met stylists or folks in the business who are admiring or curious for completely non sexual reasons (Yeah it can be a let down, a really attractive lady was staring once I was hoping she would ask what I look like when I'm not dressed and all I got was thats a really nice wig for you She was a hair stylist.)

What I find really creepy is getting an e-mail with a nude pic attached. The real reason it bugs me is because I would never think of doing that to anyone I didnt know real well, and most likely wouldnt anyways. If a woman did that to me Id most likely be wondering what STD's I could catch here.

Its also weird when they just start talking about sex right away. I'd never think of doing that, mainly because it just doesn't work.

cari

[Sally24]

There are some sweet guys out there that are also admirers. We have a couple of regulars with our Boston group and they are great. That being said, many of the others are a little different and if they weren't pretty small guys I'd be worried about them.

[deja true]

But you've got to admit that many of us could be called admirers, too (going by the nature of many of the comments in the photo posts...)!

I suppose then, that it might be a good guess that if, as Joanie says, 98% of admirers seem like creeps, then that remaining 2% might be some of us out in drab! (It has been posited that many, if not most admirers are frustrated x-dressers, anyway...)

And in truth, I'd bet that GGs would say the 98% of the guys that hit on them in bars are creeps, too.

[Jennifer Devine]

I have had loads of male admirers on facebook all wanting the same thing.
I think it's mainly straight or bi guys who go for crossdressers because the feminine side attracts them.
Gay guys usually go for guys because they are not attracted to femininity. They love masculinity.
I only fancy women and transexuals so i just turn these guys down one by one.
It's nice to have guys complimenting you on how good you look though

[CatAttack]

I don't really go out so I don't know what cd/ts admirers act like in real life, but I have been contacted by a few on the internet. So far they have all been pretty creepy, I so not tell them any actual information about myself.

However, I think cd/ts admirers shouldn't be disregarded though, because there are probably nice guys out there who aren't really creepy and should deserve a chance, just as cd/ts people deserve a chance. I heard (from tv or something) one of the reasons some men like cd/ts people is that they feel cd/ts people understand them more.

I think if cd/ts admirers presented themselves in a less creepy manner, they would get a lot more respect. Not to generalize admirers though.

[KellyCD]

I've actually had to beat the crap out of a guy for this.

Let me explain.

I was at a trans bar last year and one guy was all up on me and the first words out of his mouth were...

"So how much do you charge?"



[SIZE="4"]EXCUSE ME!?!?[/SIZE]

He would not leave me alone. After about an hour there I got tired of this guy hounding to get in my panties so I decided to go home. As I was about to leave he grabbed my arm and said "Where are you going?" (Not in an angry tone but more of a "you can't leave without screwing me" tone)



I threw with all of my might and hit that dude right in the temple. He dropped like a ton of bricks and his head bounced off the floor. I didn't feel one bit sorry for him either. Creep.


Most admirers I've met are just looking for sex....wait isn't that what MOST guys are after anyway?

I truly feel sorry for GG's, they have to deal with men.

[Nicki B]

If anyone could add some serious thoughts to this thread it would be interesting to see if there is a consensus.

I have thought up a few reasons and have actually asked a few men why they prefer the CD type. I got several answers:

Men seek CD's because they act and dress more feminine than most GG women these days.

Men seem to like the retro-fem outfits, the 50's style dresses, the seamed stockings the stiletto heels, and the fussy makeup and hairdos. Women don't dress that way anymore and what once was typical daily dress in that golden age is mainly thought of as "fetish" wear nowadays.

Or are men who seek CD's actually gay and using the ruse of dating a CD to soften the fact that even though they appear to be dating a woman they are actually dating a man. Is this a way for them to satisfy their urges without the mental anguish, i.e. credible deniability?

Or are some men just "experimenting?" (This one I don't buy.)

Many admirers seem to have frustrated trans tendencies themselves and are living them out, remotely.

I've heard it suggested by a psychiatrist that some may be seeking a combined 'mother and father' figure, i.e. the best of both worlds.

The trouble, as with the way genetic women view men generally, is the bad ones colour your view and tend to form your instinctive reaction?

That being said, if you treat people with respect, I find they reciprocate, generally?

Edit:

However, I think cd/ts admirers shouldn't be disregarded though, because there are probably nice guys out there who aren't really creepy and should deserve a chance, just as cd/ts people deserve a chance. I heard (from tv or something) one of the reasons some men like cd/ts people is that they feel cd/ts people understand them more.

Admirers are regarded with at least as much approbrium as trans folks are, by the general population - and they have to find the people they seek without wearing a disguise, as most of us effectively do?

[Kate Simmons]

I tend to consider "admirers" for who they are as a person on an individual basis like I do everyone else. If we classify by stereotypes we are not much better than the people who classify us thusly. While it takes some effort to get to know people individually, it is usually more rewarding in a lot of ways.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

interesting,,i only came across 1 creep while i been out and about,,,but then again im a man in womens clothes,,i dont do make up or have boobs....

Shiny,where can i find those chat rooms??i miss the chat room i used to go to on m$n....

[Karen_Ski]

I tend to consider "admirers" for who they are as a person on an individual basis like I do everyone else. If we classify by stereotypes we are not much better than the people who classify us thusly. While it takes some effort to get to know people individually, it is usually more rewarding in a lot of ways.

Very well put Arianna. We should be the last group to hang stereotypes on anyone gurls!

I have always had a couple of rules when meeting in person anyone I have met online. First the meeting must take place in a public place I choose. Secondly I do not entertain until I have gotten to know someone. If he or anyone else has issues with those two simple rules they just hit the road!