She just wouldn't understand

[XdresserAshley]

I went to visit a friend of mine that works at a consignment shop yesterday. Now she talked to me earlier online and said it was really dead there and wanted me to come visit to pass the time.

I arrived and we chatted for a good 15 minutes and no one came in to shop. I asked her if she had any crossdressers that came in. She said yes and they were all old and creepy to her. That conversation ended after that.

A couple minutes later she jokingly asked me if I wanted to try on a wedding dress and she knew I'd say 'no'. Well she's a good friend of mine and since she thought crossdressers were disgusting I sheepishly said 'no' but truely wanted to try a couple on... I couldn't say 'yes' and risk losing a friend or her telling everyone else that I like wearing dresses.

Another reason I hate our society...

Ashley

[Darlene Rochelle]

Sad,but true,we do get put down by a lot of narrow-minded people,who truly do not understand us.

[MJ]

well first of all you could have told her that all cross dressers are not "creepy" and i would have said yes to trying on the wedding dress to prove that not all cross dressers are creepy looking...

and come on now do you relay want to have a friend like that!!!!. if i am creepy then i am in good company ...

[jimfromny]

Paople are generally afraid of what they don't know well, and bolster their own insecure self images by bashing those who they feel they can safely considered inferior. It's been my experience, though, that most people can soften up their prejudices if slowly exposed to new things and they come to realize there is more to the world than their own narrow experiences.

Your friend might change her attitude if you started by talking about how those "old and creepy" customers are just tryng to get through life in their own way, like everyone else, and are likely far less offensive personally than the public at large.

[tracigirl_tv]

Ashley, it sounds to me (from a distance) like she might know something is up and wouldn't mind finding out a little more *smile* Maybe it's just the romantic in me.....

xxx

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

should have said YES to the dress.......

after all SHEs the one who asked.....

[cindym5_04]

When my mom found out about my crossdressing, she told me that I was "sick, perverted, and need help" and that any of my friends who knew and thought it was okay need lots of help too.

That's just the way society is. You should've taken her up on it when she asked or when she said that crossdressers are creepy, should've remarked "am I creepy?".

[JenniferR771]

Just go for it Ashley! A good friend who works in a consignment shop (how perfect)! No shoppers! She offers to let you try on a wedding dress! She is probably catching on--this is a great opportunity. Don't miss out! Show her we are not creepy--not much, anyway. At least tell us where the shop is located so others can take advantage of your find.

I had a clerk I met at a thrift shop--told her I was a cd--got to know her fairly well. And I just asked one day if I could try on three wedding dresses. Got a shopping cart and headed for the fitting room. Popped my wig on my head and came out to show her and she grabbed the zipper and said "suck in" and zipped me up. Loved it--wish she still worked there.
Click on my name and take a look at the wedding dress on my personal page.

[Karren H]

I'd have said "Sure if you insist" hahaha

[StacyCD]

Imagine if she accepted your crossdressing, you might have had your own personal shopper looking out for great deals for you!

[Alana65]

If it had been me (and there was nobody else in the store) I would've jumped at the chance.............to try on wedding gowns ????..........you bet

[Sammy777]

I asked her if she had any crossdressers that came in. She said yes and they were all old and creepy to her.

A couple minutes later she jokingly asked me if I wanted to try on a wedding dress and she knew I'd say 'no'.

I think you may be looking at this from the wrong view point.
Maybe all she was saying was old people were creepy, lol
[No offense to our "more experienced" members here, lol]

If she "knew" you were going to say "no" then why did she ask?

It has been my experience that:
When a guy friend says "hey wanna jump off a bridge" he usually does not really want you to do it.

When a girl friend asks you if you want to try on a wedding dresses [of all things], she most likely WANTS you to say yes.

More so, she didn't ask if you would [or would like to] try on a skirt or even a dress......... No she went right for gold.

I think the next time you two are "passing the time there" you should at least approach the subject again.

Maybe you can ask her in a passing way,
Soooo which one of them did you want me to try on?

Or I could just be completely wrong, LOL

[Janet Bern]

I bet you are sorry you said no. Hope you get the offer again. Maybe you can go back when its slow and say you been thinking about it?

[kym]

I would have asked her if i was "creepy" when she answered honestly then i would have let it go until she offered the wedding dresses and gone for it. make the point nice and subtle.

[Ruth]

Now here was a situation where (a) she is a friend, (b) she doesn't know you CD, (c) she asks you if you want to try on a wedding dress. I don't think that a, b and c all fit together. Are you leaving something out?
Sounds like a super opportunity to me (though I would have wanted to dash home and get some suitable lingerie and a nice pair of shoes).

[sissystephanie]

Now here was a situation where (a) she is a friend, (b) she doesn't know you CD, (c) she asks you if you want to try on a wedding dress. I don't think that a, b and c all fit together. Are you leaving something out?
Sounds like a super opportunity to me (though I would have wanted to dash home and get some suitable lingerie and a nice pair of shoes).

At age 76 I guess I am one of those "creepy old" CD's! But I agree with Ruth and Traci. I think she does know something, and as Karren said you should have taken her up on her offer! Of course after putting on the proper lingerie and shoes!! Why don't you ask her what she would have done if you said yes to her offer! Then you will really know where you stand with her!

[Carly D.]

Hmmmm... all in all an opportunity lost I'm thinking.. while she doesn't like older cross dressers, you might could have still tried on a wedding dress or two then tried on a regular dress and gradually gotten her on your side.. if she thinks you are a great person and finds out you are a cross dresser maybe she would change her mind about cross dressers in general.. just a thought.. I know you run the risk of ruining a friendship but then again she really doesn't know you anyway...

[Jamie001]

The problem is that when we get put down we don't stand up admit that we are a crossdresser! Instead we stick our head in the sand in shame. If we continue this behavior, then we will never make any progress. The OP that went into the consignement store should have said "I am also a crossdresser, but I am not old and creepy!" "We are just normal people like everyone else. You could have then tried on the wedding dresses. We must learn to be proud of who and what we are in order to make progress and feel comfortable with ourselves. We also need to not worry about what other folks think because that is not something that we can control.

Jamie

Sad,but true,we do get put down by a lot of narrow-minded people,who truly do not understand us.

[Karren H]

Now that I rethink this situation..... I'd go back next time your in the neighborhood and take her up on it..... Say if the offer still stands... you'd like to experience just what those crossdressers are feeling.... For scientific sociological information gathering... Yeah!!

[Ronni Seymour]

Dear, I would have jumped at the chance to try the wedding dress on.
And not all older crossdressers are creepy. Many are very classy and feminine.

[Marjory]

[QUOTE=Ruth;1533968]Now here was a situation where (a) she is a friend, (b) she doesn't know you CD, (c) she asks you if you want to try on a wedding dress. I don't think that a, b and c all fit together. Are you leaving something out?

Ruth, I agree. Something is flawed in the logic of the friend. She probably already knows as we tend to know a lot more about women's clothes than most men and other things.

As for me, my wife really hates CDers

[Christina Nicole]

You could also look at it from her side, of which there are two major viewpoints. I've become good friends with a lady who works at the makeup counter in Macy's. She sees quite a few crossdressers. She isn't anti-crossdresser. We get along really well. She did tell me of a few crossdressers who look, to use your friend's term, creepy.

She has told me about crossdressers who come in and look awful. She usually tries to make helpful suggestions. Some take her advice and look much better next time. Some keep doing that they do. She told me a few of these stories. In short, It's weird, creepy, unsettling, call it what you want, to see a wolf in sheep's clothing.

When a someone wears clothes that are not appropriate to her body, or has a ratty looking, too long hairstyle, or hair the wrong color for her complexion, or makeup more conducive to a hooker than a woman at the mall, or a 50 year old dressed like a 20 year old, these images are jarring to people. because it doesn't look normal. It's a lot more unsettling when it's a guy dressed as a gal and acting like a guy. The crossdresser stands out and looks creepy. He's the square peg not at all trying to fit the round hole.

Perhaps your friend has only seen the crossdressers who do not try to look and act appropriate. Of course, it could be that she finds the idea of any guy in woman's clothing, no matter how well or badly presented creepy. Better the former than the latter. The latter idea is going to be a lot harder to change.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[TGMarla]

I understand where you are with this. But I think I'd still have found some way to say "yes" to her.

[Raven92366]

Thats how I discovered I liked dressing up as a girl is in high school there were these two sisters who talked me into letting them dress me up in as a girl, and then it became a regular thing. I would go visit them, they would dress me up as a girl then we would hang out all weekend and have alot of fun together.

[almalove]

should have said YES to the dress.......

after all SHEs the one who asked.....

It wad a gamble,
and there're some things I like to gamble with, some times, may a few dollas whene I go to Vegas, but a the risk of being outed it's too
much, I say better not.

Alma.