I'm sure that there have been at least a few of you who have gone out as your girl self to a straight dance club. There lies the question of with bouncers out front and checking ID's, if you don't have an ID of your femme self, what do you do and what is the typical reaction?
I would be afraid that they wouldn't let me in or there would be a scene made out front that could be quite embarrassing.
Many states issue alternate ID simular to a drives licence. For I'd purposes only.. I'd look into that.. And if you pass well enough to make it through the line and into the club.. Who cares if the bouncer knows..
You use your male ID - they know!
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
They may or may not know until you show your id. I have always used my id, and I usually get a look and a smile. Then I pay my cover, get my hand stamped, and go on with the evening. Its a little freaky the first time, but as long as you don't make a big deal of it, they won't.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]I feel more complete and happier now than I ever thought possible
Same for me. Show my ID (with male name), smile, pay my cover, and in I go. No Big Deal. Have fun!Originally Posted by Ellen Ross
[SIZE="2"]There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Ditto for me too. Obviously with my male ID I'm outing myself but the reaction I have had in the past has either been total nonchalance or a big grinning smile or wide eyed look of surprise and I've even had a "is that you?!" My point is I've always gotten into the club or the bar.
Last edited by Rachel Morley; 12-08-2008 at 11:45 PM.
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The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
I'm old enough looking that I rarely get carded.
I think sometimes they ask just to see how you will react, friends of mine who are very passable swear they have been carded to settle bet among the staff :-)
When I was bartending if you didnt look really young or nervous I barely looked at them. Rules said you had to ask, but our primary concern was underage not is there a CD in here. If you happen to look very young or are acting nervous you may get a second glance.
To be really honest here I was usually checking out the best looking women in the line or guys who looked like trouble , so if you arent one of them your pretty safe. After seeing a few hundred ID's 90 % blurr out, and you just serve the drink or stamp the hand ect.
One thing to be aware of is that some of the chain bars train you to read the name and thank them using it. So you may want to introduce yourself when you hand it over, that way they know how to address you. Folks with names like Irving or Bertha do that all the time because they dont want you to repeat it in front of their friends.
The people making drinks or working security dont want any issues because they have to deal with them. All they want is a nice smooth nite, A good tip being nice to one of the staff helps allot if anything does happen good to have them on your side.
Cari
I have never been to a place like that, dressed. Have any of you ever been kicked out, or bounced, from a place?
I can't imagine why I would ever want to go to a straight dance club while dressed en femme. It just makes no sense to me.
Never had a problem with going to clubs en femme, just show yoru regular drivers license and move on in. Ive never had a negative reaction to my exterior appearance not matching the mug on my dl.
Zarabeth
(Formerly known everywhere as Lady Zarabeth
Any time I've done it (halloween)...the bouncers do a double take (if they actually read what's on my ID). This year I had one door person look at my ID, back at me, my ID and back at me and said, is this you? Then she held it up next to me and said she couldn't tell, but I spoke in my male voice and she decided it must be me. Then the male bouncer, looked at my ID smiled a big grin and said, he would never have known...I said thanks, that's the plan and he then told me to have a great time.
The previous year on the way out the two young bouncers had been drinking and were scouting out chicks a little bit too loudly and obvious...(how about her?..there's one for you...etc.) as my SO and I walked by they laughed to each other...'they are ugly' (we were dressed up as ugly witches)...hey at least I passed. I almost stopped to tell them off because their comments were a bit rude, but I figured they were young enough that we might be their mother's age so I understood their point of view or they were just playing up our costumes.
Other years it was similar except most of the time, on the way in, they just check that you -have- ID and birthday and let you go.
I suspect, if you make it enjoyable and maybe make a friendly joke with the bouncer, you will have no issues. Most bouncers like the experience of meeting unusual people and their job is to protect you, afterall.
Everywhere I have gone it is just to make certain you are 21!!!
Now..... being an 'older' lady, just means they find out my actual age and it confirms their suspicions that me and most of the group I'm with are males under all the silicone and makeup!!
Otherwise they just take the cover charge and we move on into the club.
Lisa ELizabeth
I was once shopping in Macy's with a friend and were both en femme. My friend purchased some (what else) clothes and wanted to pay with her Macy's charge card, which had her femme name. But she hadn't used the card in some time and the computer asked for a driver's license, which had her male name and picture.
My friend's line was very good. As she took out her license, she quietly said to the sales woman, "Now, you know my photograph won't look the way I do now." She said this in a very matter-of-fact tone.
They know.
Yvonne
Few months ago, I went fully dressed to a nightclub with a GG friend, who always gets the looks because of her looks! She shows her ID and as I show mine, the bouncer says to me "this must be your brothers ID, but go on in!"
Yep, they do. First time I went shopping in Macy's dressed, to find a new pair of heels, the SA that was ringing me up started her spiel on using my Macy's card, then abruptly stopped and said "and that will be cash then?" she was super nice to me and I emailed Macy's to praise her but really it does not matter to me, I got asked for my ID last year when I stopped at a grocery store on my way to a party to buy a bottle of wine and a snack plate, I was a little surprised but happily gave the girl my DL with my gray haired old man in a crash jacket pic on it, and IDed once outside a club, the bouncer was a good 12 inches shorter then I was, eyes about breast form level, he was polite, thanked me, wished me a good time, held the door for me, and I live in the south to boot! One would assume I would get grief everywhere I went, but I don't.
Trying to find a way to come out to the wife about my crossdressing was the first hard thing to do. And, going out was another hard thing. But, both involved the same emotions and thoughts. The stomach doing a little churning. The mind going 190 mph. I finally got it out to the wife. She reacted like most people do. Finally she accepted it. I gave her articles and talked to her. We eventually went out together. The first time was an experience. I didn't want to change in the car in the parking lot of a club that we looked at on the internet in St. Paul. It was Club Metro. I didn't want to take up a stall in the bathroom. So the wife said she would pull the car around our apartment complex and I could run out to the car dressed. I did. I almost came in my gaff and clothes just going to the car. I calmed down after getting in the car. We drove there and had the time of our lives. We made quite a few trips together. I even did it by myself. You first of all need a plan. And, yes, no plan is 100% perfect. I passed a guy coming up the steps as I was going out to get into the car with the wife. It was close to Halloween and I said, A halloween party. He said, I hope so. By going with someone that will support you will make it easier for you to talk it over with them on how to do it yourself. In order to move on, you must show other people you crossdress. Everyone can do it without anyone seeing them and they can do it days in a row or more.
It's strange.... I was actually in a conversation about this last saturday night at the Chicago gender Society Christmas Party.
It seems that being out crossdressed isn't the big scary deal that it was even 10 years ago! More people are used to seeing us and it isn't as big of an oddity as it used to be.
Society as a whole has come a lo-o-o-n-n-g-g-g way in becoming more accepting of different lifestyles. For that we may have to thank the Gay community for being so-o-o out there for such a long period of time. Maybe all that they have done has paved the way for us? I don't know.... but it is a thought....
we were talking about how 15 years ago you could be arrested in Chicago for being out crossdressed, while now, if stopped for any reason, you are treated as the person you present as. With all the respect you would recieve if you weren't crossdressed.
So, in this day and age it is actually a lot less scary to take those first high-heeled steps out the front door and see what the world is like for your fem self.
straight bar, Gay bar, restaurant, retail store.... doesn't seem to be a problem any more. I can only talk about the last 6 years, but even in that short amount of time, the ability to go out and do things without being harrased has improved dramatically.
Now, I am VERY careful if I am out alone, just as I would expect my wife to be when she is out alone. Otherwise, I go where I want and shop, eat, go potty, get gas, whatever is needed for that evening. It is even easier now than a few years ago.
I'm certain some of that is just eperience and being more confident in my presentation, but some of it is the more generally accepting attitude of our society on the whole.
Just my thoughts....
Lisa E
I was just curious on what has generally happened. I've been out to TG bars and I've actually been pulled over once when I was dressed. I've never gone to a straight dance club enfemme though.
... and on the note of being pulled over, the police officer was very polite and a true gentleman the entire time and let me off with a warning (I had slowly cruised through a stop sign that I didn't see...and it was rainy out).
Made my first trip out this weekend. I chose a bar that was gay/lesbian and was known to be CD. I was the only one. I did get carded, it is a normal thing here in the US to have your ID checked at the door of most clubs and bars. I also work security part time and am used to doing this. I had more trouble remembering that my ID was in my purse verses having to pull it out. The person at the door was extremely friendly and personable. Told be to enjoy and have a great time. Paid the cover charge and off I went. I was more nervous having to do this since it was my first time ever, but did not think it was all that difficult.
It has never been an issue. Like others have said, they just want to prove your age. Some times I can tell they might be on the fence wheather I am a guy or girl. They aske to see ID to satisfy their own curiosity and to see how different my pic looks.
Gen
Nor me - not in the US, either??? Mind, no one's going to think I'm underage..
Perhaps you should print off and carry one of these?
Nicki
[SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]
Katie,
Here in America with the penalties for serving alcohol to anyone under 21 so severe, bars,Liquor stores and club ID everyone. I'm going to be 44 next month and not to sound like I'm bragging but I look 10 to 12 years younger even in guy mode and whenever I go into a liquor store in New Jersey, I'm always getting ID'ed. I just take as a compliment. Hope it answers your question.
Felicity
"Its now official,my femme name is Felicity"
Have to drink to that.
"Proud To Be My Wife's Part Time Wife"
Use your male ID and don't worry about it.
when your my age you just hope some one ask's for id
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