Crossdressing and sex

[docrobbysherry]

This let-down after sex is nothing to do with cross-dressing -- don't get the two mixed up. As has been said above, it's pretty common, to do with hormone levels, blood pressure, muscle tension, all sorts.

May be something to what Katie says! I seem to enjoy the tite clothes, corset, girdle, etc. until I orgasm. After that, is when I suddenly feel I'm being cut in half, and can't get everything off fast enough!

Anyone else have that happen?

[laura.lapinski]

Yes Nicole! I have always felt the same way. I dress, and emulate all the mannerisms I can. But at some point, the eroticism is too great, and I proceed to masturbation -- often with fantasies. When that is over, I have always wanted to get out of the clothes and stop it all. In the past, I felt guilt over all this right afterwards. And my energy switches over to the masculine -- and I feel a completer connection with my masculine right afterwards.
I wish I can maintain the feminine for longer periods... and I hope to do this.
Greater and deeper acceptance is needed. My wife is supportive that i find that greater acceptance -- go deep into it, and see what comes out.
She's a good practising psychotherapist...

I am the same way. After ejaculating, I want to change back into my normal clothes. I don't have any guilt, or feel bad for what I have just done. I just feel sexual relief. Just like when you have sex, you feel fulfilled, and satisfied and no longer need to be erotic. What does it mean? Probably nothing. It's just what I do. If you really want to know what you are, its more so your thoughts when you are not sexually stimulated.

Laura

[Cathytg]

I am so glad that you asked that question; the responses are great and helpful.

I, too, had always associated dressing with sex. Being in the closet, sex meant masturbation, of course. But when I had climaxed, the clothes came off and went about my male life and was left wondering what it was all about.

Now I am 63 and the sexual side is as strong as ever although I have a wonderful wife who understands and helps me. But no longer have an urge to go back to drab after any form of sexual experience. And I still do not understand it.

[StacyCD]

Great post and great responses! I second, third, etc... the idea that the desire to remove your fem things after sex will pass. I just wish my SO would let me dress in front of her--let alone dress for sex! You are very lucky!!!

[mklinden2010]

This let-down after sex is nothing to do with cross-dressing -- don't get the two mixed up. As has been said above, it's pretty common, to do with hormone levels, blood pressure, muscle tension, all sorts.

It's not a new discovery; Aristotle said: "Post coitum animal triste" which means more or less "After sex the guy feels low".

Others suggest getting right back into the clothes. I don't see the point, and would think it would spoil the atmosphere. It might also get you into the habit of thinking crossdressing= let-down, and that would never do!

Newbie,

I'm with Katie on this one too.

To that, I can add several things...

That after living with women for decades, I've come to understand that women don't get turned on all that much by their clothes. To them, to look "good enough" is a passing grade so they can just get on with the rest of their day, "Sex be damned, I gotta feed my kids!"

The greater challenge then, is not to have quick-sticky-sex but to proceed with the plan of dressing and dressing well and being true to the other role - all the rest of it. If it's just sex you want, any catalog or video will do... But, if it's living like the other side lives, well, be ready for a longer, more respectful, ride with more complications and commitments than it might be "sexy" to think about.

The reality of "their" lives is everything they complain it is... Tight and clumsy shoes, breasts that get in the way most of your life, embarrassing flows - and stomach pains you can't even talk about. Yuck. We get to live the ideal, as it were, and "they" have a legitimate grip about that. Imagine how you'd feel if someone took a picture of you in a guy tuxedo, went home, and masturbated to it - then tossed your picture in the trash? Would you just feel used AND misunderstood? How about if they took your tuxedo out of your closet, did the same thing, and stuck it back on the hanger?

I appreciate that you enjoy dressing up and getting a thrill, in several ways, from doing so. But, as Katie says, don't confuse the sex with something else. Sex is sex and crossing gender lines is something else. In my view, however, once you cross that line you should be playing by their rules.

And, do they fantasize in slips and bras about being with men? Only in movies like "Animal House" - which is all about male fantasies... Mostly they wear "sexy" clothes to attract a mate, and can't wait to stop having to go through all that silliness just to be close to someone and have a healthy, helpful life and relationship.

Keep sorting out what you, and all the rest of this, are all about.

Good luck and good living.

[Raquelle C]

From what I understand during ejaculation there is a spike in testosterone, it has been mentioned that this is the connection in wanting to 'get out of the clothes'. lol Interesting none-the-less. For me this has been the same for quite some time in the past and still is occasionally. Although, I do enjoy staying dressed after sex most of the time now...

[jennifer g.]

hey just wanted to say that i feel the same and usually want to go back to male mode after i have a release. i would like crossdressing to be something more though. i think ill try some of yalls advise. thanks for the advise too.

[missynicole]

cdjoanne, I too have the urges to have sex with a cd or man when dressed, When in my male mode I don't have these feelings but I do have a better understanding of gays and others who have different sexual desires then the so called normal society.

i feel the same way billie.....and if there is someone experienced in matters like that with a man i have some questions i would like to ask in a more discrete way....please email me if anyone would like to share with me.....
missy nicole

[Electra]

i feel the same way billie.....and if there is someone experienced in matters like that with a man i have some questions i would like to ask in a more discrete way....please email me if anyone would like to share with me.....
missy nicole

Suggest, you ask them in a discreet way