Can I help ya mam?

[Deidra Cowen]

Got all fixed up Friday night. Black top, leopard print long skirt, nice boots and my fur coat!!! Topped off by my fem glasses and a Sarah Palin updo. I really was super happy with da look which does not happen near enough. I imagined I was pretty close to looking like an upper class elegant lady in her 40s. Well I have gained weight (20 pounds) but I think the loose fitting outfit with a big fur coat worked to hide that!

Went into my local starbucks. Two young GGs were behind the counter. They finished with the lady infront of me and one with a smile asked in kind of a deferential way "Can I help you Mam?"

Oh lord it just felt so freaking great!!! Well of course the gig was up as soon as I opened my mouth and used my deep guy voice but they continued to be sweet. Got my venti coffee to perk me up for staying up late into the evening and strutted out of Starbucks. There were only 3 or 4 people sitting at tables but of course by the they all locked on to me and were checking out the CD! I did not care!!! I felt a sense of comfort and had a great feeling of confidence. Dang I wish I could have that all the time.

I went out to a resturant to meet a bunch of girls. They were all fulltime, they were sweet and nice, for the most part

That confirmed something that has been floating around in my brain! I am realizing I am a CD! Just don't quite fit in with the FT girls. But hey screw worrying about what others think or how they judge me. Just have to admit I am just a CD and am happy with that!

It was a good night friday...got a thrill at the coffee house and just learned to go with what I am.

[Claire Cook]

Went into my local starbucks. Two young GGs were behind the counter. They finished with the lady infront of me and one with a smile asked in kind of a deferential way "Can I help you Mam?"

Oh lord it just felt so freaking great!!!

Hi Deidra,

Dontcha just love it when that happens? Last year I was in a long line at the Giant grocery when a clerk opened up a new register. "I can take you ma'am." I didn't realize she was talking to me! What a rush .. hope my antiperspirant (Secret of course) was working ...

Actually sometimes that happens to me when in drab. When the clerk apologizes, I just thank the nice person for the compliment.
Claire

[TxKimberly]

That IS an awesome feeling isn't it? And even after they KNEW what you were, they still smiled and treated you like a human. That is also a neat feeling.
As for being CD Vrs TS . . . I am almost as tired of hearing people say "Stop labeling me" as I am of those people that insist on putting labels on everyone, but . . .
One thing I have come to realize over the last few years is that there is a huge amount of gray space between CD and TS, where all is not black, and all is not white. It's hardly surprising that most of us fall somewhere in the middle instead of at each extreme.

[deja true]

Got a "thank you, ma'am!" in the book store yesterday...but I was in there as bald headed, un-shaved "what's-his-name"! From a young lady that knows me! WTF!

Was it the eyebrows? Was it the quiet, gentle manner? Was it the newly clean shaved arms?

Guess "what's-his-name" isn't as butch as he thought he was!

But, I'm still not gonna grow that beard back...Nuh-uh!

[Deidra Cowen]

Yes sweetie it was a great feeling! I agree with your analysis of the labeling issue....nicely put. It gets old but it never goes away, just gotta live with it or ignore it...depending on the mode of the day!

That IS an awesome feeling isn't it? And even after they KNEW what you were, they still smiled and treated you like a human. That is also a neat feeling.
As for being CD Vrs TS . . . I am almost as tired of hearing people say "Stop labeling me" as I am of those people that insist on putting labels on everyone, but . . .
One thing I have come to realize over the last few years is that there is a huge amount of gray space between CD and TS, where all is not black, and all is not white. It's hardly surprising that most of us fall somewhere in the middle instead of at each extreme.

[Karren H]

Yeah!!! You always look awesome to me, Deidra!!

[Intertwined]

1st: Oh lord it just felt so freaking great!!! Remember that feeling ! you did what you wanted, regardless of what other people thought, thats confidence, and confidence Shows and usually gets respected.

2nd: Just don't quite fit in with the FT girls STOP trying to " fit in " we are all unique individuals in many ways, if everyone was exactly the same, it would be a pretty dull place. I dont fit in with the CDs, the TSs or GGs, I always dress 50/50, half masculine half feminine, I don't let "not fitting in" stop me.

3rd: My wife hates labels, she is constantly labelled as an amputee, she is not an amputee, she is a human female, as she says " We are more than the sum, or lack there of, our body parts "

[Sam-antha]

Somehow when you hear, for the first time those magic words you think the feeling can never be repeated. Well it does feel good each time. But there is a difference, you will forget the other times but never the first.
Mine was at a Bus Station and it made buying the ticket a pleasure and the journey so comfy.
~Samm

[Sally2005]

I feel the same... just a regular guy most of the time who really likes to dress up sometimes. I understand the fitting in (or not)... the FT have a different goal and don't have to worry about going back to guy mode. I think there are few that do part time and actually get out a lot in public or maybe we're just not visible for many reasons...privacy and shared time etc. It really is fun to go out and be treated normally or better than usual.

[Katy Dee]

Being noticed is part of what you all do and nice to know people are accepting. Last night we had friends to dinner and my CD partner was half "in Dress" Long skirt, boots, sexy top with cleavage, and yet no wig or ,makeup......Our friends did not bat an eyelid. They are used to seeing Sam fully dressed but we thought we would just check out their reaction. Samantha was totally accepted to the point where nothing was different! These truly are good friends.
Keep on doing what is natural to you all. You will be surprised how accepted you are.
Hugs from Katy Dee

[Eileen]

Deidra you look fantastic! Dress and enjoy as your are doing! Life is better when we are in our glory and I sense you are in yours when you are Deidra!

Eileen

[Denise01]

Yes it is fantastic when you are out and that you are accepted as a lady.

Just yesterday, i was out shopping for the afternoon, and went to a Chinese Buffet for supper.

The girl that was serving me was great. On at least 4 or 5 times she referred to me as Madam, and on the way out as i was paying for my meal, we got chatting.

She complimented me on the outfit that I was wearing as to how nice it looked, and too that she felt it made me look much younger.

That made my day

Denise

[AliciaWeb]

I have always found my local Starbucks to be very friendly. My most intense experience happened a few weeks ago.
When I went for coffee I sat at a table next to the small counter where people came for serviettes, sugar etc. I was facing the counter so I had a good look at everyone who came in and, of course, they had a good look at me. There was not a flutter from anyone. Eventually a girl who was clearing tables came to wipe down the counter. She returned to the counter 3 times in 5 minutes and on her final visit stayed wiping and already spotless counter for over a minute. I continued to drink my coffee and smiled at her when she noticed me noticing her surreptitious scrutiny. Finally, having satisfied her curiosity or eroded sufficient of the varnish from the counter, she stood back and said something I didn't catch and addressed me as ”madam”, I smiled and thanked her. She wasn’t around when I left or I would have wished her goodbye. Maybe next time.

I wonder if there is a CD customer element to their training.

[Rachel Morley]

Oh lord it just felt so freaking great!!! Well of course the gig was up as soon as I opened my mouth and used my deep guy voice but they continued to be sweet.

You?!... the infamous and sexy Deidra with a deep guy voice??? I always imagined you with a cute "light" guy voice Anyway, I totally get the "it just felt so freaking great" to be mam'ed thing. It happens to me fairly often and I absolutely love it.

Seeing yourself as a CDer (albeit a rather serious (good?) one) and not a TS or a FT-er is also something I can relate to. We are (genetically speaking) male but we happen to enjoy presenting as female whenever possible .... do we care if people know who and what we really are? ... not if they treat us with courtesy and as the gender we are presenting as. IMHO, I don't care if people "know" or even that they let me know that they know ... just don't remind me in an "in your face way" that I'm not what I'm trying to be. Get me?

[cindybarnes]

Deidra, Im sure you get "mam'd " a lot !
Its all about being happy where your at aint it !
I dont remember your voice being that low but it may not have matched your look
oh yea,,,, Im glad Im not the only one up 20 pounds LOL

Cindy

[DAVIDA]

Hi Diedra!
Yes, I remember your voice, but you have always looked like a lady to me!
I look forward to hanging out with you again sometime soon. I have not been out anywhere since the last time we saw each other.
Oh, lets not even talk about weight!

[Angie G]

Deidra just keep being you hun we love you.
Angie